Pretty Dark Nothing (22 page)

“Don’t answer. You’ll make things worse. Trust us. One tiny lie won’t hurt them.”

“Or me.” Her head lolled to the side.

“That’s right. Trust us.”
Dozens of beasts filled the back seat, whispering, urging her to listen, intimidation in their yellow eyes.

“And if I trust you?” One single tear slid down her cheek.

“We can help you.”

“How?”

“Listen.”

More voices filled the car, bringing Quinn under their spell. They would always be with her now, on the fringes of her mind, hiding in the shadows, watching, and waiting. She could never outrun them. And why would she want to? They were her only friends, the only ones she could really trust.

“Tell them you felt sick.”

“I needed to go home.”

“That you didn’t want to disturb them.”

“I didn’t want to disturb them. Yes,” Quinn repeated in a trance.

A black SUV sped past, horn blaring, startling Quinn. The beasts retreated, leaving her alone in the Jeep, if not in her head. In her rearview mirror, she saw one, bright headlight moving toward her. A motorcycle. Quinn slipped the Jeep into first. The Jeep sped forward, outrunning Aaron, outrunning the truth, leaving them both in the dust for the comfort of a lie.

***

Quinn fumbled in her purse for her house key. She swiped beads of sweat from her forehead with the back of her sleeve, dropping her keys into a puddle of darkness.

“Dammit!” She groped around the porch with no luck. The gold key ring shimmered in the wake of one headlight, turning into her driveway. Quinn grabbed it, jumped up, and shoved the key in the lock.

“Come on, come on. Don’t stick now.” The headlight flicked off as the dead bolt clicked. She turned the knob and shouldered the door open, slammed it, and locked it behind her.

Quinn held her breath, as footsteps ran up the driveway. She crouched on the tiled entry. She couldn’t face them. Not Teresa, not Marcus, and not Aaron. No, not Aaron, never again. He knocked. Quinn didn’t move. The knock intensified, louder, more urgent. Quinn remained motionless. He’d go away if she didn’t answer.

“Quinn, I know you’re in there. I saw you on the porch when I drove up.”

Quinn pressed her face against the glass blocks. A distorted face stared back at her, hand over his eyes to block the outside light.

“Come on, Quinn, I need to talk to you.”

Quinn wiped tears from her eyes with the hem of her shirt. Turning on the foyer light, she cracked open the door. “What do you want?” She tapped her fingers on the metal handle and glared at Jeff.

“I’ve been texting and calling you all night. I was worried.”

“Just go.” Quinn tried to shut the door, but Jeff blocked it with his foot.

“I really need to talk to you.”

Quinn stomped on his foot, but his leather cowboy boot took the impact. “Well, I don’t need to talk to you.” She tried shoving the door again.

Jeff shoved back. “I broke up with Kerstin.”

“Why do you think I care?” Quinn’s tone was icy. She’d been waiting months to hear those words, and now they meant nothing.

“Look, I know I hurt you, and I don’t blame you for being angry.”

“Oh, I’m more than angry.” She leaned against the door, defeated, as a demon settled on her shoulder.

“We were friends once, best friends. I didn’t know who else to go to.” Jeff shoved his hands in his pockets, imploring Quinn with those irresistible brown eyes.

“Let him in.”

Quinn stiffened as the demon morphed into smoke and probed its way into her ear. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead as she fought their influence.

No. You got what you wanted. I left Aaron. Leave me alone.

“Let. Him. In.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you dumped me.” Quinn scratched at her ear and pulled on the ends of her hair, but the demon’s words lashed at her resistance. Swaying her to their command. She opened the door.

“Q.T., I’m sorry.” Jeff followed her into the kitchen. “I blew it with you …”

“Don’t you dare call me Q.T.!” she yelled over her shoulder. “Only my friends and family call me that, and you are neither.”

Quinn pulled a loaf of bread from the box on the counter and took out two slices. What she really wanted to do was claw at her own skin and beat her head against the wall until the demon expelled itself from her body. But she couldn’t do that, not with Jeff watching, so she kept her hands busy. Jeff took his usual seat on the left side of the island, but instead of resting his elbows on the counter, his hands stayed shoved in his pockets.

Quinn grabbed a jar of peanut butter from the pantry. Unscrewing the red plastic lid, she stirred the creamy contents with the end of the knife, its metal scraping plastic as she tried to steady her hands. Silently she worked, and silently he watched, his stare never straying from her.

“You want a sandwich?” Quinn asked.

“Sure.”

“We don’t have any grape jelly. We stopped buying it after you dumped me. You’ll have to suffer strawberry.” Quinn opened the jar, piling a glob of the red goo on the knife and plopping it onto the other piece of bread, masking her fear and anxiety under a blanket of anger. Jeff wouldn’t know the difference.

“I wish you wouldn’t use the word
dumped
. It sounds so, oh I don’t know … bad.”

“Well, let’s see. How did you breaking up with me feel? Oh, I don’t know …
bad
. Seems to me, dumped describes it perfectly.” Quinn slammed the knife onto the bread, splitting the sandwich into two clean halves.

She’d been mooning over him, putting him on a pedestal, while he paraded Kerstin in front of her nose. Aaron had been there for her, and she pushed him away, time and time again for Jeff, for a guy who cheated on her. Hell yeah she was angry, at the demons, at herself for leaving Reese and Aaron, for the lies she would tell them if they asked. And Jeff, sitting in her house, telling her he’d broken up with Kerstin. A little too late.

“Fine, if you want to call it dumped, we’ll call it dumped.” Jeff eyed the knife.

“Don’t worry. I don’t think a butter knife would do much damage.” Quinn handed Jeff half the sandwich, careful not to let her fingers brush his.

“You always did make the best PB and J,” Jeff mumbled with a mouthful.

“Yeah, well, whoever said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach got it all wrong. The way to a man’s heart is having big boobs. Big boobs equal no dump.” Quinn balled her fist, her anger no longer a mask. All the things she’d really wanted to say to him over the last two months spewed out.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jeff slammed the half-eaten sandwich on the table.

Quinn turned her back on Jeff and started to unload clean dishes from the dishwasher. “That’s because you never clued me in.” Quinn slammed the cabinet door. “You came home from summer vacation and ignored my calls. When you did call, it was a cryptic ‘uhhhh we need to break up,’ and the next thing I know, you’re dating Kerstin.”

She spun around to face him, anger full throttle, words on stun. “Oh, and did you tell me about Kerstin? No. I heard it through gossip queen Ami on the first day of school. ‘Sorry to hear about you and Jeff, Quinn. Sorry he dumped you for the bloodsucker Kerstin. What? You didn’t know he was dating Kerstin? He’s been dating her for weeks.’ God, what an idiot I was.” Quinn slumped over the island, head cradled in her hands.

“I’m ready to talk about it now.” Jeff reached his hand over the island and grabbed Quinn’s.

A long silence followed as Quinn let his familiar touch quell her anger. The demon quieted at his touch. It wanted her to be with Jeff, it liked Jeff. She tried to imagine life like it used to be, but the image of Kerstin and Jeff kissing haunted her.

I can’t go back. I love Aaron.

“Aaron is lost to you.”
The demon pressed the thought into her mind.

“What’s there to talk about? We can’t go back.” Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose.

Shut up. He loves me. I can make him understand.

“Love?”
The demon laughed.

“Kerstin was a big mistake. The way I treated you, even bigger. I’ll always be sorry for it. Kerstin’s history. I dumped her last night.” Jeff moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“You loved Jeff once too. Or did you forget how you pushed Aaron away every time you thought Jeff was watching.”

Quinn went stiff at his touch. “Why did you dump her?” She jerked away, whirling to face him. “No, what I really want to know is why did you dump
me
? After all we’ve been through?”

“It’s complicated.” He rubbed his temples. “I couldn’t face you after what I’d done. I had to make it right, somehow. I convinced myself to let you go, it would be better that way. I tried, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Jeff reached for her, but she slapped his hand away.

“You don’t love Aaron. How could you? If you did, you wouldn’t have left him tonight. If he meant that much to you, you wouldn’t be here with Jeff.”

Quinn tried to ignore the demon’s jibes, but their words stung with the venom of truth, the poison working through her second by second. “What did you do? Sleep with her? That’s not news. Were you trying to protect me from your teenage hormones? Now that you’ve gotten it out of your system, you’re safe, and we can be together again. Until the next time you get an itch you just have to scratch, so you’ll dump me again to find the first tramp you can to hook up with.” Quinn turned from him, folding her arms over her chest.

“Kerstin’s not a tramp. She’s just insecure, and if you knew … ”

Jeff’s warm breath was on her neck, so close, the strong smell of peanut butter mixed with the musky sent of his cologne. “Please, Quinn. I’ll do anything to get you back. I love you. I always have. I was such an asshole to give up all we had together.”

“You know you want this, Quinn. Jeff still loves you,”
the demons whispered.

I don’t want Jeff.

“You can’t lie to us, lie to yourself. We see it inside you.”

Shaking her head, she took a step forward, away from the pain his presence evoked.

“Defending her is so not the way to win points with me. And what do you mean if I knew? Knew what? How great she is in bed? Like I want to know all the dirty details.”

“I would never do that to you.” He came in close again, heated breath on her neck. “I still love you, Quinn.”

“And Kerstin?” Quinn pivoted, watching in satisfaction as he squirmed, eyes downcast as he reached for an answer.

“With Kerstin, it’s complicated. She’s … ” He grabbed her hands. “I don’t love her.”

Quinn smacked his hand away. “What makes you think I care?”

“Oh but you do care, don’t you Quinn? This is what you’ve been waiting for.”

Quinn covered her ears and shook her head. “Leave me alone.”

Jeff gripped her arm, fingers digging into her flesh. “Please, Quinn. Look at me. Give me one more chance. I’ve loved you since we were five years old, my whole life. I screwed up, I know that now. No excuse. What can I do to make it up to you? Anything. I’ll do anything.” Tears dripped down his cheeks. Their eyes connected, and she searched deep within them for the truth. She found no confirmation there, no deception either, just desperation.

Silence overtook them as they stood face-to-face, lips inches apart, his muscular arms an embrace away, and a dull ache inside her soul. She didn’t want him; she wanted Aaron.

“He’s telling the truth, Quinn. One kiss, and you’ll feel it. How can you throw him away? All the history you share? Kiss him.”

Then his lips were on hers, urgent and strong. At first his kiss tasted bitter, but within seconds it turned sweet, familiar, safe. It was as if the last two months were a distant memory, and the demons played on this, bringing forward a montage of every happy moment she’d ever had with Jeff until her mind was filled with nothing but him. All thoughts of Aaron fell away like dead leaves from a tree, leaving her naked and vulnerable, shivering beneath Jeff’s touch.

“Quinn, are you here?” Aaron stepped through the kitchen door. “S-Sorry,” he stammered.

Quinn pushed at Jeff, breaking away from his embrace.

Aaron took two steps backward as if punched. Eyes fixed on Quinn, jaw tight, he balled his right fist before stiffly turning on his heel.

“Aaron! Wait!” Quinn tripped over a stool as she fumbled past Jeff to get to him. It clattered to the floor, but Aaron didn’t even turn around at the sound. Following him through the living room, Quinn tried to grasp his arm to get him to look at her, but he jerked away, flinching every time she approached. What had she done? Hot tears burned beneath her lids, bubbling out and down her cheeks.

“Quinn, thank God. We were so worried.” Teresa rushed to meet her, but Quinn shoved past her.

Aaron had his helmet on as Quinn appeared at the door. “Aaron, wait. Let me explain.” Quinn ran up to the bike. He jerked away as she touched his shoulder. “Please, Aaron.” Her breath rasped from her throat, desperate, pleading. She had to make him see, make him understand. Aaron stared at her through the visor, eyes hard, judging. Quinn cleared her throat. “Jeff showed up. I didn’t ask him to come here. And then he kissed me, out of the blue. I know what it must look like, but I don’t love him. I love—”

“Save it for someone who cares.” Aaron gunned the engine, disengaged the kickstand, and sped off, leaving Quinn to suck on the fumes left in his wake.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Aaron disappeared into the night, the smell of gas a nauseating reminder of the hurt Quinn caused him.

“What’s going on?” Teresa demanded. “Why did you take Marcus’s car? Is Jeff harassing you? Why did Aaron leave?”

“I’m not harassing anyone,” Jeff barked.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jeff.” Teresa spit his name. “I want to talk to her.” Teresa’s black eyes narrowed at Quinn. “What’s going on?”

Quinn grabbed at the thoughts that flew through her mind, examining each one, trying to find an answer. This truth was stranger than fiction, but maybe Reese would believe her. Help her.