Pretty Sly (20 page)

“Maybe you should,” I said slowly.

Aidan stood up then, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and headed for the exit. I didn’t watch him go. I didn’t need to look to know that he was disappearing into the crowd.

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SIXTEEN

ON THE BUS,
sitting by myself, there was a moment of giddy elation. I’d done something stupid and terrible, and the freedom of it, of shutting Aidan out so I could be alone to enjoy my stupid terribleness, was amazing.

The thing is, you can’t stay like that for too long— your body can be trembling and your heart can be racing and your mind can be bouncing all over the place, but at some point it all wants to go back to normal. And, unfortunately, normal means breathing complete breaths and feeling really, physically where you are, and that means seeing the true situation for what it is.

This was mine: I was on my own.

Aidan freaking left. He just . . . left.

The words sank in. That’s when the regret sank in, too. Then the fear. And loneliness. And the missing-him.

The missing-him was the worst part. An ache in the
back of my throat like biting into something too cold too soon.

No, it didn’t take long for my euphoria to wear off. Even before we got to the next stop, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

I had to get off the damn bus. I reached up and yanked on the hanging cord repeatedly, signaling my stop.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

“I think he hears you,” one of the dudes in front of me said.

I didn’t care. How could I care? My heart was breaking.

I kept pulling on the cord like it was an emergency tab, like it was my last gesture.

The driver pulled over at the SkyView Casino and Resort. I bolted for the door, flinging myself off the bus, and sprinted back the way we’d come, back toward the last stop.

I was going to find Aidan and apologize. I couldn’t do this thing on my own, and I didn’t want to. I wanted him with me.

He couldn’t have gone too far, could he?

It took me about five minutes to run back to the center of the village, past rows of benches where tourists were sipping hot chocolate and past an ice-skating rink over which strings of lights in the shapes of snowflakes had been hung. There were dozens of people gliding across the ice and dozens more standing around it, watching.

I kept on going across the tiled pavement, which was inhabited by visitors bundled up in ski jackets, women carrying shopping bags, families with little kids trailing behind them.

As the crowd thickened and my visibility narrowed, I stopped to scan the crowd for Aidan’s familiar shape, stretching up to my tiptoes to see over the tall people.

Nothing. Strangers, all of them. What was I going to do if I couldn’t find him?

I panted, trying to catch my breath as I watched it drift in little clouds in the air. It was cold out now but my face was hot. More people were spilling out from the glowing interiors of shops and restaurants, smiling and having fun. The mountains hung high and wall-like behind them, and behind that there was a rising full moon. I peered up at it, silently asking it to help me find Aidan.

But its stoic face seemed to be mocking me.

You idiot. You let him go.

My eye caught on the pavilion and the bus stop where Aidan jumped off, about thirty yards away. A crowd of people were gathered around the still-singing carolers. They finished their song, “I Wonder as I Wander,” and everyone clapped.

The concert was over. People were shifting, moving away, and as the throng opened up I thought I caught a glimpse of a gray sweater-vest.

Aidan!

I called out his name and ran toward him. But as I got closer, I could no longer see the gray vest. I stopped and spun around. And around again. Maybe I’d imagined it because there was just a sea of blue and red and green. No gray to be found.

It occurred to me that this was all we’d been doing the past few days—wandering blindly, trying to find the impossible.
A needle in a haystack.
Wasn’t that what Aidan said?

I started circling the pavement, passing the ice rink again, and the pavilion and the giant statue of a horse. I walked up and down the rows of stores and cafés.

He must have really left,
I thought.

And then,
Of course he really left. You told him to leave.

I shivered. An hour or so had passed since I’d gotten off the bus. I wrapped my arms around myself as I passed Celestial Coffee for what felt like the twentieth time. Looking in through the windows, I scanned the room for Aidan. There was no sign of him. Just people sitting around in twos and threes, talking and drinking from steaming mugs.

Coffee. I still had Tre’s money. I knew I had to be careful with it, especially if I needed to buy a ticket home. But I could get something warm to drink, couldn’t I?

I was inside before I knew it, driven by pure caffeine lust. I slid into a vinyl booth behind a guy and a girl who were my age and looked like they were on a date. Even if they weren’t, they were definitely about to hook up—I
could tell by the way she was giggling and the teasing way he was grabbing her arm.

I felt bitterly, bitterly jealous.

A waitress came over to the table. She was my age, too, with brown hair tied into a long braid. “Can I get you something?”

“A coffee, please,” I said, resisting the urge for a more expensive latte. I eyed the biscotti in jars on the countertop and the pies behind the glass. I was starving. But I couldn’t eat now. I had to make the money last. I would have to wait until tomorrow. I didn’t know how much longer I’d be on the road.

But what was I going to do now that Aidan was gone? Was I really going to keep on keeping on? I had no car. I didn’t know how to drive. I could hitchhike, assuming I had a destination. Which I didn’t.

They were playing a Robyn song that came out last summer. I remembered listening to it at Cherise’s house over and over, dancing around her room. I smiled a little at the memory. We had so much fun together.

Then, as my eyes adjusted to what was in front of me, the espresso machines and the sugar bar and the two kids getting handsy, the reality of my situation came flooding back. The tears came back, too.

It was time to face the fact that I was alone. Really alone now. Maybe more alone than I’d ever been.

I remembered the nights I’d spent in juvie, staring at cinder-block walls and feeling the most profound
despair I’d ever felt, like my life had ended.

But at least then I knew my mom would come to help me get out. This time I had to figure out how to get out of this mess by myself. And even if I did, would I really go back to Paradise Valley? There was nothing for me there. Certainly no friends. Sure, there was Tre, but he would probably be against me, too, when Aidan told him what happened. How I blew it again. How I’d been too greedy, enjoying the stealing too much. Wanting too much from Aidan.

When the waitress came back toward the table, she set down a coffee and a slice of flourless chocolate cake in front of me.

“I didn’t order—”

“This is from that table over there.”

I followed her painted fingernail to the couple in front of me. They waved shyly.

“Thank you,” I said, confused.

“You’re welcome,” the girl said, giggling. “Foxy.”

I smiled. They knew who I was. I wasn’t supposed to be glad about that, but right now, it felt good to be recognized.

The cake was rich and fudgy and pretty much the most delicious thing I’d ever eaten in my life. The world, and all my worries, seemed to stop as I ate. You literally could not be in a bad mood while shoveling this thing into your mouth. And for a few moments, the kindness of the two kids in the booth next to me was enough.
Maybe this wasn’t going to work out in the end, but at least there were still some people who were on my side.

I was finishing up the coffee and the last bite of cake when the server came back with a refill. “How was it?”

“Perfect. I needed some chocolate therapy,” I said.

“Nothing like it. Can I get you anything else?”

“Actually,” I ventured, “is there somewhere I can use the phone? Like in private?”

“The office is in the back,” she said, pointing me to a closed door behind the counter. “Feel free.”

In the room, I took out the temporary phone and then pulled the card out of my pocket. By now it was worn and soft, like cloth. My hands shaking, I dialed the number. I needed to figure out what my options were.

“Willa,” he said. The voice was familiar instantly.

“Corbin,” I said.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“I know,” I said, chewing on the edge of my lip. I studied the bulletin board hanging over the desk; on it were posted work schedules, a Heimlich maneuver poster, and a phone number for sanitation pickup. The room was like a closet, and I felt the smallness of it suddenly, like everything was closing in on me.

“That was some stunt you two jokers pulled in the parking lot. I could have you arrested for fraud, you know.” His voice was taut with the threat. “Or worse. Stealing federal property.”

I wasn’t afraid of him, though. Because by now I felt
like I understood more. He needed me as much as I needed him. “But you wouldn’t do that, would you? Not while my mom is still out there.”

There was a pause, and in that pause I heard all I needed to know. Corbin cared about this case, and not just professionally. He cared about my mom, for some reason that I did not totally understand.

“Goddammit. No,” he said finally. “I wouldn’t.”

“So where is she?”

“We don’t know. We think she’s gone off the grid.”

“Off the grid?”

“She’s not anywhere our satellites can detect,” he explained. He actually sounded worried.

“Who are these people she’s running from? Can you tell me that?”

“I can’t.” His voice sharpened to a warning pitch again. “Look, do you want to end up in a ditch on the side of the road? I’ve been telling you it’s dangerous. When will you get it through your thick teenage skull that this isn’t your mess to mess around with?”

If he was trying to convince me I needed to give in, he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Saying it was dangerous and not giving me any real answers only made me feel more panicky, more determined.

I pressed on with my questions, anyway. I had to know. “Just tell me this. Why’d she leave me behind this time? She took me with her before.”

“They were getting too close.” Corbin’s voice was
ominous. “Once you were on the news, she couldn’t take any more chances.”

“So it was my fault she had to leave?”

He paused, as if he was thinking about it. “In a way, yes.”

I felt a lead weight in my gut. Of all the reasons that I could feel sorry about what I’d done, this was the biggest. If I’d only known . . .

“Did she break the law?” My heart quickened. What if he was going to lock her up? I had to get to her before he did.

“I can’t tell you any more than I already have. Not without putting both of you at risk, and that’s the last thing I want to do.” His voice went hoarse.

That wasn’t much of an answer.

He cleared his throat. “You need to come home, Willa.”

Big surprise. It’s what he’d been saying all along. But I knew that when I dialed this number. And I wouldn’t have called if I wasn’t seriously considering it myself.

“I’ll get you a ticket,” he offered. “I’ll make sure it’s safe. We’ll get any charges against you dropped. But you need to leave there. Alive.”

“How do I know I can believe you?” I asked quietly. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Well, you don’t, I guess. You can never know one hundred percent about anything, and I’d be lying if I said different,” he said, and I thought immediately of Aidan.
Of the look on his face when he told me he was going to walk.

I
couldn’t
trust anyone. That was the problem, wasn’t it? How could I start now? I wanted to give in. I was tired. But I couldn’t abandon my mom.

“Can I think about it?” I asked.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t,” he said.

“Or I could just hang up now,” I warned.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay. Why don’t you take the rest of the night? Call me in the morning and let me know what you decide. Just make sure you guys get yourselves somewhere safe.”

“All right,” I said.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that there was no longer a “you guys.” He would probably come find me and take me away in handcuffs. Then again, for all I knew, he’d been watching us the whole time and already knew that Aidan had taken off.

“And, Willa? One more thing. We’ve found her car. In Crest, California. Not too far from the Nevada border.”

I gulped in air excitedly. “You found her car?”
I knew it!
She’d been in California the whole time. We hadn’t even been that far off course. “So you should be able to find her soon, right? I mean, if her car’s there, she can’t be far behind.”

Corbin’s voice cracked slightly on the other end of the line. “Not exactly. The car was burned out. Left in
the bottom of a quarry. We think it’d probably been there for at least thirty-six hours.”

Silence came over the receiver. I felt my hopes sinking to the pit of my stomach, churning sickeningly. A burned-out car? It sounded horrible. And scary. Where the hell was my mother?

“So what does that mean?” I asked, my voice registering my alarm. I’d called him for answers, to figure out my options, but now I was as frightened and confused as ever.

“I just don’t know, Willa,” Corbin said. “We’re working on it.”

“Not fast enough,” I said, and hung up.

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HarperCollins Publishers

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SEVENTEEN