Pride and the Anguish (24 page)

“You will go with Lieutenant Mallory.” He could not look at her. “I will stay with your father.”

She screamed, “No!” But as Mallory seized her arm she
shouted, “I hate you! I'll never forgive you!” Her other words were lost in an outburst of sobbing as Mallory picked her bodily from the floor and carried her into the sunlight.

Massey seemed to relax. “Thank you.” He coughed, and two small threads of scarlet ran down his beard. “I know what that cost you. What she means to you.”

Trewin looked at the sodden bandage. The sudden silence outside the ruins was worse than gunfire, and his whole being called out to him to run. To keep running, like those soldiers. But he could not move.

Massey muttered, “Can't help me. Finished. Matter of minutes.” He rolled his eyes. “All my work gone, Trewin. All finished.” He tried to lift himself on his elbows. “You'll see her safe, won't you?” His eyes were desperate. “She's had nothing out of life!”

Trewin nodded, not knowing what to say. “Try to rest, Doctor.”

“I'll rest. Later.” He lay back, his eyes again on the sky. “Tell Greville to look after himself.” One hand gripped Trewin's wrist with surprising force. “He must be careful!”

Trewin looked away. Massey was obviously going fast. He was delirious.

But Massey continued in the same urgent tone, “You must help him, Trewin! I know he trusts you.”

Somewhere a rifle cracked and the agonising screams were cut short before the echo had faded. Trewin tried to smile. “He doesn't need my help, Doctor.”

His voice seemed to bring Massey a last reserve of life. He struggled up on one arm, his eyes blazing. “He does, Trewin! He
does
!” His teeth were bared in what might have been a smile. “He's a stubborn fool. But he's going blind!” His head lolled against Trewin's shoulder. “Been treating him, but he can't be helped now. Nearly blind!”

He coughed, and this time the blood did not stop.

Trewin felt his pulse and then stood up. Hardly daring to
allow his mind to function he stepped out into the sunlight and then, with Massey's last words ringing in his ears, began to run down the road towards the river.

The last mooring rope was flung clear as he was hauled up and over the bows, and he saw the guns swinging round to cover the bend in the road as the ship thrashed astern and started to edge her way towards the opposite bank.

The rescued wounded and the handful of refugees had been taken below, and of the girl there was no sign. Trewin had been dreading the reproach and hatred in her eyes. Now he would not have to tell her about her father's last minutes. Not now, not ever.

He climbed to the bridge and watched dully as Corbett leaned across the port screen to peer at the river bank as it swung to meet the gunboat in her tight turn. But I'll have to live with Massey's last words. He heard a shell whine overhead and felt the increased vibrations from the
Porcupine
's screws. Another failure. Another bloody retreat.

He stared at Corbett's shoulders, seeing all the past moments, the occasions of uncertainty with sudden clarity and understanding. The time he had found Corbett in the darkened room with Massey. His unwillingness to attempt to enter the Inlet at night. It all made stark and terrible sense now.

Corbett turned and saw him leaning against the chart table. He said sharply, “Take over the con, Trewin. I want to keep an eye on the shore, just in case they try and block our escape.” He waited and then asked, “Are you all right?”

Trewin heard his mind screaming back at Corbett. Throwing the stupid excuses straight at those pale, opaque eyes which could see nothing but the need of this ship. He lurched past him and took his place behind the screen. In a voice he no longer recognised he replied, “I've got her!” The cry in his mind continued. Tell him you know!
Tell him!

Instead he said emptily, “Massey's dead.”

When he looked again Corbett was resting his hands on the teak rail by the ladder, his face suddenly lined and old. “He was
a good doctor, Trewin.” He turned away, his hands groping for the ladder. “More than that, he was a good man.”

He vanished down the ladder and Trewin heard the chartroom door slam. He looked at Mallory and the others. They were all watching him, as if they already shared his secret.

He rasped, “Half ahead together!”

The settlement disappeared around the curve of the river, but Trewin knew that now he would never be free of it, or its secret.

L
EADING
S
TEWARD
Y
ATES
leaned his buttocks comfortably against the wardroom sideboard and watched as Ching, the Chinese messman, refilled the officers' coffee-cups. He had just pulled the screens across the scuttles for the night, and had adjusted the fans to give maximum relief from the heavy, humid air which stayed as a reminder of the relentless heat.

He asked, “Anythin' more, sir?”

Trewin sat at the head of the table, deep in thought, his eyes resting on the flat surface of his coffee. “No, you can clear up, Yates.” He glanced across at Tweedie and Hammond, but they too seemed immersed in their own particular problems.

It was strange to feel the ship moving gently beneath him again. Ever since they had limped back to harbour from the fire and terror of Talang they had been committed to the indignity and danger of a crude stone slipway, while Chinese dockyard workers had done their best with limited facilities to repair the damage to the bows and restore the ship to fighting trim. There had been time to think and brood during the hot nights while the bombers droned above Singapore city and the sky flickered to bursting shells and the glow from burning buildings below.

For as the
Porcupine
completed her hasty repairs, so the Japanese reached the southern coastline of Malaya. There had been a fierce rearguard action to allow every possible group of soldiers to retreat to the island, and then, as the last organised resistance of Australians and troops of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders had been withdrawn, the causeway had been destroyed and the final link with the mainland cut. It was like hoisting the drawbridge of a great fortification, and with it Singapore settled down to withstand attack and siege for as long as was required.

The Japanese forces entered Johor Bahru at the close of
January to find it deserted. Like a ghost town, with only the buildings and abandoned animals to watch their jubilant capture. Within two days the enemy's guns were firing across the water, and at night, even aboard the
Porcupine,
they could hear the mutter of the bombardment like an ever-present threat.

The final loss of Malaya had had a mixed effect on the island. There was new determination amongst the fighting men, brought about mainly by a simplification of objectives and purpose. Their strength was more condensed, and even the attacking aircraft no longer had it all their own way. Singapore's own fighters flew to meet them without a break, and the island was littered with wrecked aircraft, friend and foe alike.

But there was plenty of apathy and stupidity, too. Trewin had spoken to an officer whose duty it was to dig fresh defences for the infantry. He had told him how the secretary of a golf club had refused point-blank to allow slit trenches to be dug on his greens without proper authority. And even the rumble of the distant artillery would not budge him.

The harbour was busy with two-way traffic. As the days dragged past Trewin had watched the troopships bring more reinforcements to the island and leave almost immediately, their decks crammed with women and children, dependants of those left to defend and fight.

The evacuation had had a marked effect on the
Porcupine.
Many of her company were married and had settled down years earlier to Far East service. There was an air of gloom over the whole ship, something quite different and apart from past events and common suffering.

Perhaps now that the
Porcupine
was afloat again things might improve, if only out of the harsh necessities of survival.

Trewin stirred his coffee and wondered how Corbett was getting on. Within a few days of the ship being hoisted on to the slipway Corbett had been ordered to take the remainder of the group back to sea. He had sailed in
Beaver
to take overall charge of the motley collection of craft which the admiral had formed
into one force to help forestall any attempt by the enemy to land isolated groups of shock troops. Apart from the two gunboats, Corbett had taken three trawlers, an M.L. and one converted yacht. It was not much of a force, but as the admiral had said before they had sailed, “We must put all our shoulders to the wheel now! Not a man or a ship can be wasted!”

It was difficult to see through the confident daily orders and bulletins, and quite impossible to know exactly how safe the defences really were.

The reinforcements were heartening, and only a few days earlier the fleet had been joined by the veteran cruiser
Exeter
, heroine of the River Plate battle. Her name seemed to represent another war to Trewin. She came from a time when the lines between friends and enemies were clear-cut, when people still believed that to win a war you merely had to be in the right.

The quartermaster's voice echoed harshly through the tannoy. “Hands darken ship! Duty part of the watch fall in!”

Trewin smiled to himself in spite of his thoughts. Routine went on, no matter what was happening elsewhere.

He tried not to let his thoughts stray back to Corbett. By throwing himself into the work of getting the ship ready for service, with all the additional burdens of temporary command, he had managed to shy away from what he knew must be done. On the slow trip down from Talang he had found himself watching Corbett's every move, had even gone out of his way to test him with a cunning he never knew he possessed. He had wanted to prove Massey's dying words to be imaginary, part of a mistake, and up to the last moments he had still hoped that Corbett would surprise him. He had offered the captain hastily scribbled signals, and felt his heart sink as Corbett had made casual excuses for leaving them until later to read, or had asked Trewin to summarise them for him.

“Be good training for you, Trewin,” he had remarked on more than one occasion.

His mind had gone over all the little remarks Corbett had
made in the past. His testy complaints on smartness or the cleanliness of paintwork. He knew now that they had been part of a carefully planned façade, and he could almost feel pity for Corbett and the misery he must be enduring.

Trewin had even considered going to see the admiral about it, but had dismissed the idea instantly. He knew about Corbett, and as first lieutenant he had to do something about it.

But as a man he knew he would have to tell Corbett himself.

Tweedie, who had been reading one of his accumulated letters from home with laborious concentration, sat up with a jerk and threw it on the table. “God Almighty! They've been an' put some snotty-nosed evacuee kids in me new bungalow!” He glared at the others as if he could not believe it. “Bloody Battersea kids at that!”

Hammond asked politely, “Does Mrs. Tweedie object, Guns?”

Tweedie scowled. “Object? No, she bloody well seems to enjoy it!” He stood up violently. “All me flower beds. All that work! I'll bet the little sods'll trample over everything.” He snatched up a torch and peered at his watch. “I'll go an' do me rounds. I need to think about this.”

He stamped outside and Hammond said, “I'm sorry for any of the lads with a scruffy messdeck tonight.”

Trewin watched him thoughtfully. He knew that Hammond had been ashore trying to persuade his Jacqui to take a place in one of the evacuation ships. He knew from Hammond's worried face that he had failed. He asked, “What will your girl friend do, Sub?”

Hammond shrugged. “I keep telling her she must go. It's not safe here, no matter how good the defences are.” He stood up and walked restlessly to the sideboard. “I—I want to marry her and send her home to England.”

Trewin thought of the girl's calm, sad eyes as she had watched Hammond at the New Year party. Quite apart from being a bit older than Hammond, it was unlikely that his family would welcome a half-caste girl into the fold without some protest.
His father was an admiral. One of several in a long line of naval ancestors.

Trewin said quietly, “Did she say why she would not go?”

Hammond stared at him and then grinned awkwardly. “You know damn well why it is!” He became serious again. “I had a letter from my father yesterday. Just between ourselves, he said he's arranging a transfer for me. To a destroyer this time. So you see, if I can't get Jacqui fixed up before that we may never get together.” His mouth hardened. “And I happen to love her. I really do.”

Trewin put his coffee down. It was stone cold. Hammond's casual remark about his father opened up yet another door in his understanding. His was a different world, where things were “arranged.” To Trewin they just happened. He could easily picture Hammond in a few years' time. Cool and confident, with all his youthful uncertainties left behind in the
Porcupine.
Maybe his father had found out about the girl and was using this transfer for more than a mere advancement.

Hammond looked up at the ship's crest and said with sudden desperation, “I don't want to leave the
Porcupine.
Not yet.” He swung round and faced Trewin across the table. “What do you think I should do?” He spread his hands awkwardly. “You've been around more than I have. You must have some ideas.”

Trewin looked away. “It's for you to decide.” He knew his voice was cold but he could not control it. Hammond's faith, his simple way of looking at things, had touched his reserve like a raw nerve.

Even as Hammond had been discussing Jacqui, Trewin's mind had strayed again to Clare Massey. She was always close by, haunting him with her bitter words, the desperate sadness of her eyes. Yet he had hardly seen her since Mallory had carried her from the bombed hospital. When the ship had reached harbour to unload the dazed and injured passengers he had seen her briefly from the upper bridge. A slim, upright figure as she had climbed down into a launch, one of Corbett's jackets slung
across her torn shirt like a cape. She had not looked back, although he had sensed that she knew he was there, watching her.