Primal Heat (22 page)

Jana. His rescue. His return to the ship.

His erotic dream shared by his One—just like they'd done before he found her.

He shook his head and dragged himself to his feet, swaying when he straightened too fast. He slumped against the bed and cleared his throat. “I am fine,
Vishra
. Thank you.”

Boosting himself back onto the gelpad, he dropped his head into his hands. The dream mocked him. He'd thought he had forever with that sweet, pure bond. Instead, it had died in mere hours. Even the connection he had now with Jana, the sharing of the dream, was a pathetic shadow to the openness they had known. He tamped down on that link, shoring up his defenses against it.

“What shift is it,
Vishra
?”

The liquid voice flowed over him. “The third work shift just began, Your Majesty.”

He used to work the first shift and most of the second, but no one would expect to meet with him for hours. Closing his eyes, he let gratitude sweep over him. He wasn't ready to deal with being the calm, composed emperor just yet.

“If you would like to arise, the empress had a set of your clothing placed in the clothing cleanser in the sanitation room.”

Kyber winced at the mention of the empress. Jana. He didn't know what to feel with her, either, didn't know what to do. They weren't who they had been,
he
wasn't who he had been. Months of nothing but feral rage to survive on had made him someone he'd never dreamed of being. Someone he'd never wanted to be. He didn't even know who or what he was now.

Padding into the sanitation room, he stretched his arms above his head and loosened the kinks in his muscles. It felt amazing to be able to move free of restraints, something he'd never take for granted again. He slid on the clothes Jana had left and wandered the halls and stairways of his ship. He avoided the imperial office suite, and habit took him in the direction of his quarters.

The door to his rooms stood open. He froze, wariness bringing his senses to full alertness. Jana was in there; he could smell the sweetness of her skin. The beast came to full alert, and he couldn't stop his body from reacting to her scent. His cock rose to chafe against his fly.

She bent over a small table against one wall, her profile to him. If she knew he was there, she gave no indication of it. He focused on her, not allowing himself to look at the bed where they'd never had a chance to lay together. He stilled a derisive snort. Anun knew, in the year it had taken to find her, when their shared dreams had grown more frequent and more erotic, his fantasies had never restricted their love play to the bed. There wasn't a surface in this room that he hadn't imagined they'd use. Against the wall, on the floor, in every chair, even bent over that same table. So many hopes shattered, but the carnal reminder made his dick harden to the point of rigid pain, and he gritted his teeth, cursing his body for betraying him. Her signature and his were overlaid in the room now. It sent a ripple of some emotion he didn't care to name down his spine.

His hands shook as he watched her, and he tried to get a grip on the lust streaking through him. Her body was leaner, more muscular. Likely the result of training to hunt, to fight as he'd seen her do. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She'd cut it short. The waist-length auburn strands now barely skimmed her jaw. It made her look harder, less innocent. Or maybe it was the cynicism in her eyes that had never been there before.

“Did the
Vishra
tell you the truth about how long I've been here?” She turned to face him, her gray gaze placid. There was no hint that the dream they'd shared had affected her at all. He didn't like that, but he pushed the thought away.

He nodded, folded his arms, and propped his shoulder against the doorjamb. “Yes, but coming into this room tells me even more. Your scent and psychic signature inundate everything.”

“Well, that's good, I guess.” The bright smile she gave him didn't quite reach her eyes. Her smoky gaze flickered for a moment, but he couldn't decipher the emotion there. He'd once been able to read her like a book, her wants and needs as apparent to him as his own.

“I guess,” he echoed her but couldn't believe she'd describe anything about this as
good
. This wasn't good, they weren't good. Something inside him broke at the awkwardness between them. They had never been awkward before, and bitter pain expanded within him. “How could you do it, Jana?”

She didn't pretend to misunderstand him, but she looked anywhere except him. “I would have done anything to save you.”

“Except listen to me.” Striding forward until he'd forced her against the wall beside the table, he kept his gaze locked with hers. Her expression didn't change, her thoughts beyond his reach. Bracketing his hand around the underside of her jaw, he spoke in that rusty voice that sounded nothing like his own. “I know you heard me tell you not to do it.”

“He said he just wanted me returned to my family.” Her eyes widened when Kyber touched her, the first real indication of the Jana he'd once known. “He said he'd let you go.”

“So you trusted him and not me?” His One hadn't trusted him to find a way out of the mess he'd been in, and look where they'd ended up. Who had failed whom the most? Was it something intrinsically wrong with him that had made his One unable to believe in him? He didn't know, he didn't know anything anymore, and that scared him, made him angry—with himself, with her, with destiny, with the whole universe and every soul in it. He was
supposed
to know.

His throat worked when he swallowed. Whatever opportunity he'd had to communicate his whereabouts the day he'd been kidnapped had died when he cut the connection with her. The One bond was the deepest and most fundamental part of the Kith psychic gift. It had held out against the white noise machine Arthur had used on him. For a time.

“I would have done anything to save you and our bond, Kyber.” That forced smile curled her lips again, so brittle he thought it would crack. “I
did
do anything, didn't I?”

“You didn't save me
or
our bond.” It was so slender and blocked it was hardly worth calling a bond anymore, let alone a One bond. Then again, their bond had never been as perfect as he'd imagined, he reminded himself with ruthless force. He'd lived with a perfect union before, seen how it worked with his parents. Always together, always open and trusting, always in perfect harmony.

“I did what I thought was right. And you're safe now.” Her calm infuriated him. He was the one who should be in control here.

He wanted to shake her, want to make her respond and
feel
a tiny portion of the pain and horror that ripped through him. His grip tightened on her jaw. “You thought it was right to fuck another man, Jana? You honestly thought that would save me?”

Those gray eyes narrowed, and her hiss was worthy of any Kith. “I honestly didn't think you were going to save yourself in chains, Kyber. What was giving a description of the inside of a cell or transport van going to do to help the Guardians find you?”

“Yes, because my sense of sight is the only thing I have. What about distinct smells, my heightened hearing?” His fangs erupted from his gums, the beast's fury pumping through his system. “You trusted a stranger over your One.”

“That stranger held the key to your freedom. And we knew each other for
one day
, Kyber. You were almost as much a stranger as he was.” She jerked her chin out of his grasp, but he crowded her between the wall and the table. She wasn't going anywhere. “What do you want me to say, Kyber? I was wrong. I'm sorry. Does that change a single thing? No, it doesn't. But I'm going to hold things together and make it through this just like I did when you weren't around.”

“Of course, because I'm the one who needs saving. What use do you have for me?” His One bond was a failure, this expedition was a failure,
he
was a failure. He'd never have what his parents had. Not then, not now, not ever. And that made him angrier, made guilt twist through him that his One had given so much so uselessly to free him from a trap
the emperor
should have avoided.

“I'm going to be fine.” Desperation edged her tone, and he wondered how often she told herself that. How many times would it take to convince herself it was true? She met his gaze boldly. “What use you find for yourself is up to you, but I don't need you. I don't need anyone. We were happy before we were together and we'll be happy after we're apart.”

“After we're apart.” His voice was pure animal's snarl. “Hoping that I die sometime soon or just planning to leave? Do you think the One bond is that easy to escape? We're stuck with each other, Jana. The only thing that makes it go away is death.”

Her jaw jutted stubbornly. “I don't like to argue with people, Kyber. This is pointless. Nothing will change by hashing out what we both already know. There's no need to discuss this. Let's just get on with our lives.”

Anun help him, her stubbornness aroused him, made the beast purr with the challenge. He glared down at her, his heart pounding as her scent, her nearness, made his body scream for relief. “So everything we've been through doesn't matter to you, is that it?”

“If it didn't matter, I wouldn't have come along to drag you out of that hellhole, would I?” Her head leaned back against the wall. “But bringing it up doesn't help it get better.”

“Denying its importance doesn't help it get better either.” He snorted. “If anything could ever help it get better.”

“God, you're maddening. I said I don't want to talk about this, and you can't make me.” She arched an eyebrow, her look as haughty as any empress could ever hope for.

He hissed, the beast going wild. He should want to control it, should try to rein it in, but he didn't. The woman's obstinacy made him insane. He sank his free hand into her shorn hair, pulled her head back even farther, and exposed her throat. Running one finger down the collar of her shirt, he pushed the fabric aside. She didn't protest, didn't struggle.

Close door.
He sent the mental command to the ship and the door to his chamber obeyed.

“As you desire, Empress. We won't talk.” His nostrils flared to catch the scent of her dampness, her desire. It was heady, shredding what little remained of his control. “We seem to be able to connect in dreams again, in sex, so I'm going to fuck you and I won't be gentle.”

“Good.” She spoke as bluntly as he did, her gaze never wavering. There was none of that shyness in the woman before him, none of the girl he had known. If he had ever known her.

He leaned forward and bit her neck. Hard.

She jolted against him, a low cry breaking from her lips. Tiny beads of her longing bled through their hair-thin connection, and it served only to fan the flames of his lust. The beast didn't care about the past, the future, or any of the uncertainties of the man. His body demanded surcease that only hers could grant.

Fisting his hand in her shirt, he ripped open the front of it. Her underclothes received the same rough treatment until her breasts were in his hands. He didn't bother retracting his fangs as he sucked and bit at her tight little nipples. The scent of her wetness increased and his cock throbbed in response. He wanted inside her. Now. It had been so long.

“Kyber!” Her hands twisted into his hair, pulling hard. The pain only increased the pleasure, made him burn for more, for
her
.

He wrenched open the fastenings on both of their pants, shredded her panties with one hand, withdrew his talons, and shoved his fingers into her sex. She was slick with cream and more than ready to take him. He shuddered, the beast within him clawing for freedom to reclaim its mate, to fuck her until there was nothing left but sweet oblivion.

Yes. The beast was harder to control now, the months of torture had reduced him to little more than an animal, and he embraced the feline more than he ever had before. At this moment, he didn't even care if that thought was wrong. He dropped to his knees before her, jerked her pants and shoes off, and tossed them aside along with her destroyed underwear.

He had to taste her again, to feel her come against his mouth. He wanted to
own
her pleasure, wanted her to beg him to come, wanted her to know that no one else could give her what he could, no matter what might drive them apart.

He purred when he licked her clit. She screamed, her hands jerking on his hair as she wriggled to escape. Her ecstasy flooded through their link, and he dug the claws on one hand into her hip, holding her in place. He kept the claws retracted on the other hand, pumping his fingers deep into her hot slit. Her cream slid over his taste buds, and the instinct that had driven him to find her in the first place clamored with a recognition he didn't want to acknowledge.

One. His One.

A growl rose in his throat, and her slim body writhed in response. She lifted one thigh over his shoulder, opening herself wide to him. Her fingers stroked through his hair, her palms cupping the back of his head to urge him closer. His cock jerked at her gentle touch, craving that softness as he'd craved nothing else before. Sweat broke out across his forehead at the many conflicting needs that darted through him. He flicked his tongue over her clit, the tight little bundle of nerves hardening. Adding a second and then third finger to her wet pussy, he stretched her, let her juices drench his hand as her lips grew even more swollen and slick for him.

“God, I'm so close,” she breathed. The muscles in her thighs tensed, and she dug her heel into his back. She arched against the wall, moving with the rhythm his fingers and tongue set for her.

He slowed down, batted her clit lightly, and buried his digits deep inside her but stopped moving. He sent a thought to her.
You won't come until I tell you to, until you beg me for it.