Primary Colors (9 page)

“You have every right to be mad, honey.”

“I am. I wanted this. But in the end, I couldn’t do it.”

“Now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t do it
now
.”

“As if I’ll ever have another chance with him. Maybe never with anybody.”

“And that isn’t okay, is it?”

“Of course not!”

Magdalena nodded knowingly.

“What?”

“Don’t you see, Nia? You’ve made progress toward moving on after Peter.”

“What happened seems like the opposite to me.”

“No, you wanted Rafe. That’s good, good news.”

Nia seemed befuddled. Poor girl. She was an innocent in so many ways. Then her expression turned sad again. “Maybe,
but it won’t be with Rafe.”

“Why?”

“How can you ask that? I insulted him. I hurt him.”

“He didn’t appear insulted to me. He did seem sad. And he hugged you. Nia, he cares.”

“I care, too. But if I were him,
I’d
never give me another chance.”

How to handle this? Nia was so fragile in things about Peter that she didn’t want to give her the wrong advice. “Don’t jump the gun. What
did he say?”

“That we needed time. But he’d see Sal regardless.”

“He sounds like a wonderful guy, Nia.”

“I know. That’s why I’m so mad. Damn it, Mags, why can’t I be normal?”

“Because abnormal things have happened to you. First, the fact that you met Peter and married him so young and never dated another guy is way out of the norm of most people. Then something brutal and unfair
happened. It changed you. I think now you’re getting back to your old self.”

Nia stared at her. “You paint a bright picture of this. I can’t believe Rafe would agree.”

“You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

“Maybe. If I can ever face him again.”

Magdalena picked up her phone from where she’d left it on the table when Nia called. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Call Paulina
and tell her you’re staying overnight with me tonight.”

“I can’t. I have responsibilities.”

“Not tonight. I’m going to pamper you.” She stood. “So call Paulie, ask her to cover for you with the kids and tell her you’ll be home in the morning. I’ll run a bath for you in the Jacuzzi, and then we’ll choose what takeout we want for supper.”

Nia sighed. “You know what? I’m going to do that.
I need pampering. And friendship. Thanks for always being there for me, Mags.”

“You’re welcome. Now call.”

Rafe was in their ugly apartment, at the sink, cleaning up. She’d gone into a rant about the messy house, just after she surprised him with a brand new winter coat that he’d wanted forever. At ten, he’d outgrown the old one. Now his hands shook, and he tried to man
up. Finally, the pile of dirty dishes was clean and he mopped the floor. When he finished, he tiptoed back into the living room, where his mother lay passed out on the couch. As quietly as he could, he cleaned the messy table where beer cans and cigarette butts that made him gag littered the surface. He managed to right the area and not wake her up. Slowly, he donned his new coat and left the apartment
with her still asleep.

The trek to Jonas’s studio was only ten minutes down the street. It was early, but maybe Jonas would be awake. Rafe went around back. He saw Jonas in the kitchen, at the coffeepot. He knocked quietly. A smile wreathed his savior’s face, and he crossed immediately to the door. His expression died when he got a glimpse of Rafe.

“What the hell?” He tugged Rafe inside.
Drew him to the table, then sat in front of him. He tipped up Rafe’s chin. “Son of a bitch,” he said when he saw the purplish bruise on his cheekbone.

Trying not to cry, Rafe bit his lip. Another adult’s recognition that how he was treated wasn’t right always did that to him. Instead of questioning him, Jonas drew him into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Rafael. I wish I could do something about this.”

Rafe buried himself in the soft fleece, which smelled like paint and Jonas himself. The scents calmed him. When he pulled back, Jonas’s face was red. He was mad all right. “Tell me what happened.”

“I cleaned her bathroom and bedroom up when she left last night. But I was tired and fell asleep before I got the kitchen done. When she came home this morning, she brought me a present.” He tugged
on the peacoat. “She told me I was the best boy in the world and she loved me so much.” He battled back the tears. He’d been so happy. He was every time she did something nice for him. “Then she went into the kitchen and flipped.”

“And hit you.”

He sniffed. “Uh-huh.”

“Rafael, this is not okay. We should call the authorities.”

“You said they won’t let me live with you.”

“They
won’t, boy. A single man, living in this place. Maybe if Marta and I got married, I could adopt you.”

“Can I stay here a while?”

“Sure. I’ll take you out to breakfast.”

Rafe couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten. “Okay.”

Jonas held him by the shoulders. “I love you, son. As if you were my own.”

Even at ten, Rafe knew that was all that mattered right now.

He jerked
upright in bed. He looked around, expecting to see Jonas. Instead, skylights and slatted blinds let in the sunlight. Pretty teak furniture. He was in his own bed, an adult now. The nightmare was gone. God, he hadn’t had one in ages. Reality dawning, he remembered why. Yesterday. Nia. This time
she’d
delivered the ambush and he almost couldn’t take it. At least he’d been kind. He couldn’t live
with himself if he had been cruel to her. That was something to be thankful for.

Nia walked into the house at 9:00 a.m. As it was Saturday, the low hum of the TV in the kids’ room told her the boys were up and fed. The punishment of no electronics was lifted today, so she didn’t have to face them yet. Heading to the kitchen, she found Paulina in a clinch with Adam. She was
in pajamas and he in jeans and a rumpled shirt. Nia cleared her throat
.

Paulina turned. “Hey, Nia.”

“Hello.” She eyed Adam. Had Paulina let him stay overnight? They’d agreed they shouldn’t do that with the boys in the house.

“Adam stayed the night. He and the guys had a sleepover in their room.”

“Oh. I bet they liked that.” She crossed the room to get some coffee and heard whispers.
When she turned around, she saw a sparkle in her sister’s eyes. “Did you really stay at Magdalena’s condo?”

“Yes, of course.” She had to glance away. “Why would you ask?”

“I thought maybe you had some fun.”

“Paulina, not in front of Adam.”

“I can leave.” He kissed Paulina’s cheek. “After.”

“After what?”

“Adam stayed because we came over here last night to talk to you and
Matka
.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is just perfect.”

Don’t bet on it.

Paulina crossed to her. Grasped her shoulders. And said, “Adam and I are engaged, Nia. It happened yesterday. He took me back to the music hall site and proposed.”

It was the last thing she expected. Her throat clogged. Paulina would be leaving her. Her sister’s ability to go on
with her life made Nia feel an emotion she’d never experienced before. Jealousy.
No, no, no.
She wouldn’t give into it.

“Nia?”

Shaking her head, she said, “I’m just surprised.” Damn it, she’d rise to the occasion if it killed her. “And pleased.” She hugged Paulina again. “I’m so glad you got to this point.”

“You will, too, sweetie.”

Oh, the irony.

Adam held out his arms. “How
about a hug for the groom-to-be?”

She embraced the man Paulina loved. “Congratulations. You treat my sister well or you’ll have to deal with me.”

Drawing back, Adam’s expression was serious. “Always, Nia. I promise.”

Rumbling on the hardwood floor, then three little tornados burst into the room. The moment of joy passed, and Nia was glad. She’d need time to steel herself against the
stark comparison between her life and her sister’s.

“I’m so glad you called. We need to go out more.”

Rafe smiled over at Jonas. Juxtaposed over his sixty-five-year-old image sitting in a café, Rafe saw the man in his dream, the younger painter who’d saved his life. “I agree.”

Jonas studied him in a way that he’d had then. He couldn’t fool this man. “You didn’t sleep
last night.”

“No, I slept.”

“Nightmares?”

“Uh-huh.” Rafe looked away, seeing again Nia crying because he’d touched her. It stung, badly. The waitress brought coffee, then they ordered. As the older man drank his decaf, Rafe practically inhaled his caffeine. Jonas waited patiently.

Rafe knew he had to get this out. So he said in a hoarse voice, “I was upset about something that
happened yesterday, and it carried over into a nightmare.”

“Something to do with a woman?”

“It’s personal.”

“Hey, you’re talking to the man who bought you your first box of condoms.”

Rafe smiled at the memory. He’d finally found a girl, and it was prom night. Jonas had paid for and picked up his tux, and in the pocket were some little foil packets. “You’ve been there for me for
most of my life. Solidly. Unconditionally.”

“Not everyone will reject you, Rafael.”

“Well, she did, in a way.”

“She, as in Nia Pettrone?”

“How did you know?”

“You talk about her and her kid all the time. I’d like to meet them.”

“Maybe.”

Leaning over, Jonas covered Rafe’s hand on the table. “Tell me.”

In halting sentences, Rafe related the story. When he finished,
Jonas nodded sympathetically. “Then she has work to do. It isn’t any more than that. Except that it kicks into an insecurity even I couldn’t erase for you.”

“I know.”

“When are you seeing her again?”

“We said we’d take a break. But the Thanksgiving Fair at Benjamin Franklin School is Thursday night.”

“You shouldn’t wait till then to talk to her.”

“I have no idea what’s best
for either of us.”

“Well, then, let’s figure it out together, son.”

Every Thanksgiving, the school held a fair the weekend before the big feast. Holding Sal’s hand, Nia walked into the building with Paulina, Adam, the twins and
Matka
. Surreptitiously, she hoped, she took a deep breath. She knew Rafe would be here. He’d generously offered to draw pictures of the kids. Of course, she hadn’t seen him in a few days, but he’d called
to remind her they’d meet at this event….

Hi,
he’d said on the phone. He’d sounded nervous.

Hi. I’m glad you called.

How are you?”

She’d decided to be honest.
Embarrassed and sad.

Don’t be embarrassed. But I’m sad, too.

She didn’t apologize because he’d asked her not to.

Nia, it’s going to be okay. We’ll talk soon. I just didn’t want the first time we communicated to
be in a public place.

Thanks, Rafe. You’re so thoughtful…

As they entered the gym, Paulina stood next to her. “Rafe’s coming, the kids said.”

“Yeah.”

“In all the excitement about our engagement, I never asked if you saw him while you were in the city last week.”

Nia hadn’t confided in Paulina what had happened between her and Rafe. She didn’t want to cloud the happiness that
beamed from her twin’s face every single morning. “I did. We can talk tomorrow about it.”

Paulina squeezed her arm, trusting that Nia would share anything important. It was the first time she hadn’t.

Sal tugged on Nia’s hand. “Mommy, can we go see Rafe now?”

“Yes. We’re among the first ones here. I’m hoping the line won’t be too long.”

“We wanna shoot baskets,” Ben complained.

“Not me. I want a picture done by Rafe.” Tommy had just begun to stand up to his brother; Ben had made decisions for him all his life, and it was a good sign that he was doing what he wanted. Nia was proud of him. Huh. She could take lessons from her nephew’s bravery.

Matka
stayed with Nia and the kids. They found the line hadn’t even begun to form yet. When she reached the table, she gaped.
“Oh, my,” she said.

“Hi, Rafe.” Sal raised a hand and high-fived with him. Nia had never seen him do the gesture before
.

“Hey, buddy.” Rafe transferred his gaze to Nia. His eyes, set off by the navy blue sweater he wore with jeans, were full of emotion, making them dark as midnight. “Hello, Nia.”

She gave him a genuine smile. “You brought a friend. Hello, Mr. Crane. I’m honored to
meet you.”

Jonas Crane stood and took Nia’s hand in his. “Hello, Mrs. Pettrone. I’ve heard so much about you and Sal. All very positive.”

“Thank you. Please, call me Nia.”

“And I’m Jonas.” He nodded to Sal. “So this is the little prodigy.” Jonas bent in close. “I hear you’re the next great artist of the twenty-first century.”

Instead of hiding behind her skirts, Sal said, “Holy
cow. You’re Jonas. You’re in our art books. And Rafe
loves
you.”

“I love Rafe, too.” He captured Nia’s gaze. “He’s the best man I know.”

Nia nodded, her heart hitching at the notion
.

“Would you like Jonas to draw you, Sal?” Rafe asked.

“No, you.”

“Ah, then I’ll take the beautiful lady.”

“Oh, no. Do Tommy.”

Unaware of Jonas’s reputation, Tommy piped up with, “I want
Rafe, too.”

She and Sal sat on the stools in front of the lower table. She could see Rafe as she posed. His forehead creased, he made long, sweeping strokes. Nia was so enthralled by him, by his physical presence, by, yes, damn it,
wanting
him, she didn’t notice how long Jonas was taking with her until Rafe finished both boys’ pictures
.

“Tommy, it’s just like you.” Sal was excited.

“You, too. Wow, Rafe, you’re great.”