Prince Charming Can Wait (Ever After) (31 page)

"They said it was okay," Emma said quickly, not wanting to make her wait. "They're going to let me adopt you. I'm going to be your mom."

Mattie's mouth dropped open in stunned silence, and she didn't move. Her dark brown eyes were wide, and she went utterly still, staring at Emma as if she expected her to vanish from sight and take the miracle with her.

Emma swallowed back the tears swimming in her eyes. "They're finishing the paperwork, but you can come live with me starting tomorrow. But I couldn't wait until then to tell you."

"Forever?" Mattie whispered.

"Forever," Emma agreed.

Mattie let out a shriek of jubilation and threw herself into Emma's arms. Emma laughed through her tears, hugging her tightly. "I love you, Mattie."

"Wait." Mattie suddenly pulled back, her eyes huge with worry. "What if you die, too? Then what happens to me?"

Emma's throat constricted at the question no five-year-old should ever have to think about. "I won't die."

"Mama said she wouldn't die either, but she did." Fear was thick in her voice, and she glanced over her shoulder at the foster home, as if it were a monster trying to sneak up on her.

Emma took her hands. "Mattie—"

A door slammed, and Chloe let out a gasp. "Oh, my God."

Mattie looked past Emma, and her whole face lit up with joy so vivid that there were no words to describe it. Emma spun around to see what had caught their attention, and saw a thin teenage boy climbing out of a black pickup truck.

"Robbie!" Mattie screamed, rushing past Emma and throwing herself into the boy's arms.

Robbie.
Emma stared in stunned disbelief as Robbie scooped her up, hugging her tightly. Her chest ached with emotion as Mattie and her brother embraced, holding each other so tightly it was as if they would never let go.

Mattie was screaming excitedly, and Emma finally became aware of what she was shouting to her brother. "And we have a new mama," Mattie declared. "Emma is taking us home tomorrow!"

Them? Taking
them
home tomorrow? Both of them? Emma looked helplessly at Chloe, who lifted one shoulder. "I'll make a call," she said. "Be right back."

As Emma slowly stood up, a deep foreboding began to travel through her. A five-year-old girl, she could handle. But a fourteen-year-old boy, who had already run away? She'd never even met him before. How could she manage to give him what he needed? And would the judge even let her—

Then she froze as the driver got out of the truck. Her breath caught in her chest, and she suddenly went cold. "Harlan?" she whispered. He was unshaven and his hair was long. He looked worn out and exhausted, far worse than he'd been even after the time he'd almost died.

He leaned against the truck and met her gaze. "Found him," he said simply.

Emma's heart was pounding, her feet rooted to the sidewalk. He looked so drained that she wanted to rush into his arms, to hug him, to tell him how much she had missed him. Her entire soul screamed for him, but instead of rushing over to him, she folded her arms over her chest. "I thought you were gone." Her voice was shaky with emotion, trembling with the shock of seeing him, of realizing that he was the one who had gone to find Robbie and bring him home. How had that happened? Why had he done that? How did he even know about Robbie?

"I had to find him." He still made no attempt to close the gap between them. He just leaned against the hood of his truck, as if he was too tired to move even an inch.

Emma took a step toward him, as Mattie continued to talk excitedly to her brother. "How did you find him?"

He shrugged. "It's what I do. Search and rescue, right?"

He looked so forlorn, so weary, that her heart cried for him. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said, looking at her. "I'm not."

"Are you..." She could barely ask the words. "Are you staying? Or leaving?"

His eyes were dull and drained. "Renée has an assignment for me. I need to be on a flight in two hours."

"Oh." She closed her eyes against the pain, against the bitter assault of loneliness. In that moment, when he'd stepped out of the truck, she'd had a sudden, desperate hope for so many things. Of holding him again. Of waking up in his arms. Of Mattie growing up with a father who was so brave he risked his life to save others. Of being able to stop fighting so hard on her own and being able to finally, completely, put her trust in him. But it was not to be. Nothing had changed. "Okay."

She turned away, turning back toward Mattie and her brother. They were sitting on the sidewalk now, and Mattie was holding his hand, staring into his face with shining eyes. There was no judgment on Mattie's face, no recrimination for the fact that her brother had abandoned her. Just pure love that he had come back. Robbie was grinning at his sister, his young face creased into a smile that made him look sweet and kind, not the runaway who'd been arrested by the police.

"He's a good kid," Harlan said. "He didn't know how to come back."

Emma watched Mattie reach up and pat Robbie's cheek, and then she climbed onto his lap, pulling out a book. Emma realized that she was showing him
The Littlest Christmas Tree.
Robbie made a typical teenage boy groan, and then began reading it to her.

The tenderness of the moment made Emma want to cry at the pure acceptance of the two siblings for each other. Slowly, Emma turned to look at Harlan again.

He still hadn't moved, but he wasn't watching the kids. He was focused entirely on Emma. All of Astrid's words rang through her mind, claiming that Harlan was a good man who loved her, but was too broken to know how to fix himself. All those times when Harlan had brought her back to life when she'd thought she could never live again. She thought of the horror of his fifteen-year-old self standing over his father's body and realizing that he'd caused it. "You brought Robbie back because no one was there to help you when you were his age, didn't you? You wanted to be there for him so he didn't have to be like you were."

He shrugged. "The kid needed a hand."

Her heart pounding, Emma slowly walked across the sidewalk toward him. As she got nearer, Harlan's eyes seemed to darken, but he didn't move. Not even an inch. He was rigidly still, watching her approach.

She stopped less than a foot from him. "I did it," she told him.

Fear flickered in his eyes. "Did what?"

"Got them to let me adopt Mattie."

A shudder ran over his body, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment. "I'm glad I didn't destroy that," he said. He opened his eyes, and they were bright with relief. "I'm so damn sorry for not being there that day."

She didn't want to talk about that day. "There's one condition, though."

He eyed her. "What is it?"

"I have to divorce you before the adoption is final."

The words hung in the air, and she searched Harlan's face for a reaction. For some hint that he didn't want it. For
anything.

But his face was utterly impassive.

Neither of them said anything, and a feeling of helplessness seemed to flood her. "I don't know what to say to you," she snapped. "You make me crazy. I can't stop believing that any second you're going to tell me that you love me, that you're going to tell me that you want to try, that you're going to say that you want this to be a real marriage, that you're tired of running away, but you never say it. I can't keep waiting, Harlan. I can't keep believing in you."

A muscle ticked in his cheek, but again, he said nothing.

Frustration roared through her, and she stalked up to him, invading his space until she was so close that they were almost touching. "Before the night outside Astrid's when you kissed me, I was dying," she said. "Every day was like a great weight in my heart. I was living in fear, afraid to embrace life. And then I connected with you, and everything changed. You made me feel again. You made me cry like I haven't cried in so long. Because of you, I suffered loss like I never wanted to feel again, but you know what?"

"What?" His voice was thick and hoarse.

"You made me brave, because you made me realize that I can hurt so badly and still survive it. Because of you, I became brave enough to put myself out there and fight for Mattie." She glanced over at the children, and saw that Mattie had her head on Robbie's shoulder while he read to her. Mattie had the most supreme look of contentment on her face, utter peace in the moment. She didn't care that Robbie had left her. She wasn't thinking about whether he would leave again. She was just happy, so happy, that he was there for her in that moment.

"Emma."

She tore her gaze off Mattie and looked at Harlan. His face was turbulent with emotions that she couldn't read. "What?"

"I—" He cut himself off, and the expression on his face was of such anguish and conflict that she finally realized the truth. He
was
broken, just like she was. He
did
care, but he couldn't close the circle of love and bind them. He might never be able to, either. He might never be the man she needed, but he was, and always could be, a man worthy of loving.

So, she stood on her tiptoes and planted a light kiss on his cheek. "I love you, Harlan Shea, but I now set you free. You don't owe me anything." She smiled through the tears brimming in her eyes. "You brought me back to life, and I will always hold you in my heart." She stepped back, her throat tight with all the emotions.

Something flared in his eyes, something so intense her pulse jumped. "Emma—"

"Okay, I'm back." Chloe hurried up. "Sorry for the delay. I had to talk to a few people."

Harlan shut his mouth at the interruption, and disappointment stabbed through her as she turned back toward Chloe. "What's up?"

"So, here's the deal." Chloe glanced at the kids. "They're going to have Robbie stay here with Mattie, even though he was in a different foster home before."

That wasn't what she needed to know. "What about the adoption?"

Chloe met her gaze. "The first question is whether you want to adopt him as well. If you do, then they have to go through a quick process to decide whether that makes sense. It will take a couple days. You only have space for Mattie, so you'd have to show that you can expand your house or buy a new one." Her gaze flicked to Harlan. "And are you staying? Because that will be an issue if you are."

Emma's heart seemed to hover in desperate hope as they both turned to look at him.

He looked back and forth between them. "Will it help if I'm gone?"

"Of course it will," Chloe said.

"Then I'll go." He met Emma's eyes. "I set you free as well," he said. "Let me just say goodbye to Robbie and give him my phone number."

Emma stared in shock as he walked away. He was leaving?

"Emma." Chloe drew her attention back. "I don't want you to decide right now about Robbie. It's a big deal, and it's a lifetime commitment. Take a few days—"

"But Mattie—"

"Will understand that things are on hold because of her brother." Chloe's gaze was steady. "You have to be honest with yourself, Emma. Taking on Robbie is a big deal. He's not an easy kid. I'm not sure if they'd let him go with you, anyway. Mattie was different because of your bond with her. Robbie..." She shrugged. "I don't know, but honestly, I think if you just want Mattie, the judge may be okay with that."

Emma stared at her. "Separate them?" Her voice was so choked up she could barely even utter the words. Break their bond? Tear them apart from each other forever? How could she possibly do that? But how could she give Robbie what he needed?

"At least one of them would have a chance, right?" Chloe's phone rang, and she glanced at it. "I need to take this call. I'll talk to you later." She put the phone to her ear and turned away.

Emma turned toward the kids. Harlan was crouched in front of Robbie and Mattie, talking quietly to them. Mattie's hand was on his knee, and Robbie was listening intently. It was clear that the youth had put his trust in Harlan, and it made her want to cry that Harlan had given Robbie someone to believe in. Both kids were nodding, and Emma's heart tightened as Harlan handed Robbie a simple cell phone, which she was sure was programmed with his phone number. He ruffled Mattie's head and then stood up, turning toward Emma.

"They're all set," he said, walking toward her. "I explained to Mattie that she had to wait on the adoption because of her brother. She's fine with that."

"It's only in your imagination, you know," she blurted out.

He frowned. "What is?"

"The dangerous man. The man who can't be trusted to care about anyone. He's not real."

Harlan stared at her, and for a long moment, she thought he was going to say something. But all he did was touch her cheek briefly. "He's a good kid, Emma. Take a chance on him." Then, before she could say anything else, he spun away and jogged to his truck.

Leaving all three of them behind.

The lake was still.

The night was quiet.

The water at night had always been his salvation, but Harlan felt no peace.

He'd been on the lake for hours, and he still could not stop the torment. The thoughts. The memories. Robbie. Mattie.
Emma.

He slowed the boat as he drove past her cabin again, for the twentieth time that night. The lights were out now, though they'd been on for hours. Astrid and Clare had been over, and he'd been able to imagine the discussion. Take the boy. Don't take the boy. Was Emma going to take him? What would happen to the kid if she didn't? If she took only Mattie?

No, she wouldn't do that. She'd never do that. She'd take them both. They were going to be okay. He'd done his job, like he always did. He'd rescued the boy, and that was all he was supposed to do.

But he couldn't let go. He just couldn't. He wanted to be in that cabin. He wanted to be the one sitting with Emma, making plans for their family, for their kids. They didn't need him though. Emma had taken care of everything.
They didn't need him
.