Princess Miri: An Erotic Coming of Age Monster Romance Novel (Miri's Monster, The Complete Series) (17 page)

Miri
let herself into Fleur's family's box area, disregarding common courtesy, and
plopped onto the bench next to her.  The guards at the hall's entrance allowed
a man in.  He walked to the foot of the King's throne to present his petition,
and while everyone in the hall was distracted by his pleas, Miri whispered to
Fleur.

"What
was that the other day, you said?" she asked.

"What
was what?" Fleur asked.  "Don't think we're friends or anything,
Miri.  I still don't like you, no matter if you have to do everything I
say."

Miri
ground her teeth together, refraining from letting loose a stream of
obscenities.  "What was that about the trolls?  Why do they die in
captivity?"

"Oh,"
Fleur said.  She laughed a bit, some cool, ladylike giggle.  "That.  Well,
I can't say for sure.  We feed them gruel once a day, and they can have at
least two cups of water.  We only make them work for twelve hours.  Mostly
simple tasks, like lifting stones to construct new buildings, or digging wide
pits with their hands.  We don't own enough shovels to give each of them one,
but they have big hands so I don't see the problem.  It's strange, really. 
They start out fine, and then after about a year they're as thin as a stick. 
Not a big stick, either, like a huge tree branch, but one of those tiny twigs
that falls off in a spring shower."

Miri
stared at Fleur, not knowing what to say.  So, if she understood this right,
the Millicents basically starved and dehydrated the trolls, while making them
labor excessively, and then didn't know why they died?  What kind of idiots
were they?

"Your
troll, Thwap or whatever you called him..."

"Thump,"
Miri corrected.  "His name is Thump."

"Yes,
whatever.  Does it look like I care?"  Fleur tossed her hair over her
shoulder, nonchalant.  "Thump lasted longer, but I'm sure his health is
bound to deteriorate any time now.  He looked hearty enough, but he's only
lived in captivity for about three quarters of a year so far.  A few months
with me, and then the rest with you.  Any time now and he'll be as good as
dead."

Right,
Miri thought.  Except she didn't treat Thump anything like the trolls Fleur's
family kept.  Thump ate massive amounts, at least two whole roasted chickens a
day, with entire loaves of bread, and steamed vegetables and fresh fruits.  He
worked, but Miri never pushed him too hard.  Sometimes he'd complained to her
about being tired, and she asked him if he was
really
tired or just being lazy. 
Mostly he admitted which was which, but sometimes she had to tease it out of
him.

Poking
him, tickling him.  Playfully mocking him and asking what had happened to her
big, strong troll man?  It was harder before he learned to speak, but she
understood most of what he meant to say, anyways.  Not at first, but after
awhile.  She...

It
hit her like a thousand bricks.  What.  The.  Fuck.

She
banished Thump, but why?  To save him, yes, and then partially to keep him away
from Fleur, but mostly because of the mention of captivity.  Thump would die if
he stayed with her, of that she was certain.  Except, now she doubted it. 
Thump wasn't one of the trolls Fleur's father kept under close scrutiny.  Thump
ate more than enough to sustain himself, and she didn't quite know how much he
drank but it was at least a few liters of something a day.  Maybe more?  He
chugged water like it was... water...

And
she'd said she hated him.  She told Thump she hated him to make him leave so he
wouldn't die, except now she was absolutely positive he wouldn't have died.  At
least not because of "captivity," as Fleur mentioned.  Miri was
upset.  In fact, Miri was twice as upset, because Fleur was a bitch.  Not just
any bitch, but a bitch who abused trolls; and that, in Miri's mind, was not an
acceptable thing to do.

She
was just about to give Fleur a piece of her mind when the trumpeter hollered a
strange announcement.

"Your
Majesty!" the royal trumpeter said.  "We have an immediate and urgent
request for your ear.  Most peculiar, this one.  It is a suit for the princess
Miri's hand in marriage."

Miri's
entire face blanched, becoming a pale, bloodless white.  She blinked over and
over, confused.  "Did he say that...?"

Fleur
was all grins.  "Seems you're about to have a marriage proposal.  How
interesting.  Maybe you should accept?  Do you think he'll care that you've
bedded a troll?"

"Do
you think anyone will care if I throttle you right now?" Miri muttered. 
Fleur never heard her, she was too caught up in the commotion.

This
shouldn't be happening, Miri thought.  In fact, she didn't know why anyone
would want to do this to themselves, anyways.  Years ago, when she first came
of age to potentially accept suitors, she'd agreed to try it out.  Agreed in
words, but not in mind.  Mostly, she wanted to berate anyone who thought
themselves good enough for her.  That man wanted to wed her?  Why should she
accept
that
when he had a face like a horse. 
Or what about the man with the beard that went all the way down his neck and
connected seamlessly with the hair on his chest? 

She'd
been nicer to the eighty-seven year old man who brought her a jeweled music box
and told her he didn't really want to marry her, but he'd meant to give this to
her mother years ago and he'd never had a chance before her death.  She
actually went on a
date
with that one, and let him eat
dinner in the castle, and she still owned the music box.  After that, she'd
acted especially mean to the servants so they wouldn't think her kind or
anything, but she liked that old man.

This
new person, whomever it was, must have heard she'd ditched Roy.  Not that Roy
ever had a chance at marrying her, but she went out with him as a kind of
learning experience.  That's what she told her father, at least.  How, she'd
said, will I know how to date someone if I've never done it before?  And, well,
the King somewhat agreed, and mostly she'd just wanted to screw over Fleur, so
the whole thing worked out.  Except, now this, so maybe it hadn't worked as
well as she thought.

"Who
is the suitor?" the King asked the trumpeter.

The
trumpeter cleared his throat and scrunched up his eyes, staring at the
introduction paper in his hands.  "I can't quite read his signature, your
Majesty."

"Oh,"
the King said.  Just oh.

Miri
sighed.  "If you can't read his signature, then I don't think we should
even bother to see him."

"What
did she say?" the King asked.  It was a long hallway, and Miri didn't want
to scream.

The
trumpeter did it for her, relaying the message.

"Oh,"
the King said.  "Well, where has he come from?"

"The
mountains, your Majesty," the trumpeter said.  "Quite a
distance."

"We
should at least hear him out.  It would be rude if..."

"I
don't care if it's rude!  I meant to decline suitors earlier, but I
forgot!"

"What
did she say?" the King asked.

The
trumpeter repeated it again.

"What
is taking so long?"  Allysin burst into the room, throwing open the
doors.  The guards tried to push her aside, but immediately stopped upon seeing
who accompanied her.

Miri
blinked.  She stared at Allysin, and the guards, and the doorway, and... she
must be dreaming.

Standing
in the doorway, his head almost touching the top of the door casing, was Thump. 
He wore a fancy top hat, an oversized black suit jacket(though no formal shirt
underneath it) that clung tight to his massive torso, and pants that stopped at
his knees.  The pants looked like any other person's pants, except Thump was
far too tall to fit in them properly.  No shoes, no tie, nothing besides the
scant formal-wear, and overall he looked ridiculous.

"What
the fuck," Miri said. 

She
looked at Thump with a mix of incredulousness and awe.  While he looked
idiotic, it took a certain amount of finesse and confidence to walk into a room
while dressed like that and not have any amount of shame show through.  Thump
saw her and happily waved, then remembered himself(mostly when Allysin
chastised him), and stopped.

Fleur
burst into laughter.  She nearly fell off her seat, rocking back and forth,
holding her stomach.  Miri wanted to shove her the rest of the way off her
chair, but now everyone was looking at her oddly.

"Well,
um," her father said.  "This is interesting?"

"Yah!"
Thump said.  He sounded very excited.

"I
know this is a little odd," Allysin said.  "But Thump has something
to say, and since Miri banished him recently we both thought this was the best
way to go about it."

"I
banished him for a reason, Allysin!" Miri screamed.  "I also said
that if he came back I'd have him executed.  Do you remember that part?"

"Yah,"
Thump said.  "Thump remember, Miri."

Allysin
gave Miri a dirty look.  "Do it.  I dare you.  You won't even."

"This
is ridiculous," Miri muttered.  Everyone kept looking at her.  She turned
her gaze downwards, staring at her feet.  "Just make it quick, alright? 
Then leave.  That's it."

"Alright,
Thump," Allysin said.  "So go do what we talked about.  Do you
remember it all?"

"Yup,"
Thump said.

A
little boy rushed forth from the not-yet-closed petition hall doors and thrust
a bouquet of flowers into the troll's hands.  Thump patted the boy on the
head.  The little boy looked so happy.  Miri didn't really understand that;
Thump was some ferocious, ten foot tall troll, something that should inspire
fear in most anyone.  The boy looked anything but scared, though.

Thump
ambled over to the benches and stood in front of the Millicent box.  He leaned
over the railing separating the center hall from the benches and offered Miri
the flowers.

"What
do I want these for?" she asked.  "Also, why are you giving me wilted
flowers?  Look, the petal right there is dying.  That's kind of rude, you
know?"

Thump
looked, then pulled off the wilting petal.  "For Miri," he said. 
"Pretty flowers for pretty Miri.  Smell?"

"I
don't want to..."

Thump
placed the flowers in front of her nose, forcing her to catch a whiff of them. 

She
furrowed her brow and frowned.  "They do smell nice," she said. 
Reluctantly she took them from him.

"Thump
go talk to King now," Thump said.  "Miri wait here, don't move."

"You
can't tell me what to do!" Miri said.  "I'm the one who tells you
what to do!"

"Yah. 
Thump know."

He
must not know, she thought, because he ignored her.  He ignored most everything
she said, defied banishment, returned to the castle, and embarrassed her in
front of everyone.  A suitor, a troll?  Really now?  No one would accept that!

She
really didn't know why her father sat on the throne so calmly.  He waited for
Thump to approach and didn't even look at all disturbed.  Actually, Miri was
quite disturbed that her father wasn't disturbed.  Too strange.

"You're
here to request my daughter's hand in marriage?" the King asked,
completely serious.

"Yah,"
Thump said.  "Thump want marry Miri."

"Do
you know what marriage is?"

"Yah,"
Thump said.  "Marriage is..."  He looked over his shoulder to
Allysin, who gave him an encouraging nod.  "Marriage is good," he
continued.  "Marriage is when Thump help Miri.  When Miri need jar off
high shelf, Thump pick Miri up and Miri get it.  Miri help Thump, too.  Miri
tell Thump words and Thump say them and talk.  Miri tell Thump words and Thump
here now saying words to King."

Miri's
father laughed.  "That's a good start.  What else?"

Thump
cleared his throat.  "Miri is good and best.  Um.  Before Miri, Thump not
know much.  Miri tell Thump things and Thump learn a lot.  Thump learn not to
break beds and what cleaning is.  Thump like castle, too.  Thump like Allysin
and Miri like Allysin.  Miri tell Thump everything and Thump tell Miri
everything.  Thump love Miri."

The
King was about to say something, but Miri interrupted.  "You can't!"
she said.  "You can't love me!  You're just a troll and I'm not a nice
person.  I'm mean.  Everyone says so.  And you know what?  I'm alright with
that, because then everyone listens to me.  That's how it should be.  Except
you aren't listening to me at all.  You're doing the exact opposite of
that."

Ridiculous,
she thought.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Thump yelled out his adoration. 
"Thump love Miri!"

"You
can't love me!"

'Nope,
Thump do."

"Stop
it!"

"Enough!"
the King said.  "I'm all for young love and happiness, but this is getting
kind of silly."

"
Getting
?" Miri said.  "It
wasn't before?"

"Nope,"
Thump said, shaking his head.

"Quiet,"
the King said.  "Both of you."

Thump
nodded, and Miri reluctantly followed suit.

"I
don't really know if I can let a troll marry my daughter," the King said. 
"I hope you understand, Thump.  You seem like a nice troll, but I'm not
sure about the marriage.  I do like that you've taken the effort to try and
speak with me about it, though.  Also, Miri doesn't seem to keen on it.  She's
a bit of a hassle sometimes.  It's part of her charm."

Miri
harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest.  "I am not."

Thump
and the King ignored her.

"I'm
willing to give you a chance, though.  If you can tell me exactly why you want
to marry my daughter, then I'll leave everything up to her.  That's all I can
do."

"That's
ridiculous," Miri said.  "He can't, anyways.  Do you hear how he's
talking?  There's absolutely no way he can explain why he wants to marry me. 
He doesn't even know.  This is just some awful joke by Allysin, which, I should
add, I really don't appreciate."