Promise (29 page)

‘Yes.’

The nurse nodded. ‘So her immunisations are up to date?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Do you know how much she weighs?’

‘No.’

‘Okay, we’ll check that in a moment.’ She looked up from her notes. ‘You said she’s had a headache?’

‘Yes.’

The nurse put her hand on Charlie’s forearm. ‘Do you have a headache now, sweetie?’

Charlie gave a tiny nod.

‘Is it a little headache or a bad headache?’

‘Little,’ she whispered.

The nurse used a small light to look down Charlie’s throat and in her ears, then lifted her shirt to look at her belly and back.

‘When did she last do a wee?’

‘Some time before nine this morning.’

Anna glanced at the door. Where was Pat? Was there some problem at the front desk? She looked around for CCTV cameras.

‘And how much has she drunk in the past few hours?’

‘Some sips of water. But she’s been vomiting. What do you think it might be?’

Charlie whispered, ‘Mummy, Mummy.’

‘Hey, sweetie.’ Anna stroked her hair. Charlie’s head felt so small under her hand.

‘Well . . . nothing that’s leaping out at us at this point.’

The nurse raised the side of the bed. ‘I’ll put this up so you can kind of lean against it. The doctor will be here in a few minutes. She’s caught up on the ward. But let’s start by looking after your girl’s dehydration and get some fluid into her. I’m going to get a Gastrolyte iceblock for her. Do you like iceblocks, Possum?’

Charlie nodded.

She returned with an orange iceblock and a paper towel.

‘Here you go. Let’s see if she can keep this down. And if she does vomit again, we’ll give her something for that. I’d also like to give her some Nurofen for the head and to bring the fever down.’ She turned to walk away.

‘What about meningococcal?’

The nurse turned back. ‘The doctor will be here soon. She’ll have all possibilities in mind, don’t worry. Chances are that it’s just a virus. But she’ll exclude meningococcal. Okay?’

As the nurse disappeared into a storeroom, Charlie sucked on the iceblock. Clatter came from the bed on the other side of the curtain and Anna heard someone talking to the old man. She tried to tune out of their conversation about kidney stones, and brought the plastic bag closer to Charlie in case she vomited.

‘How’s that taste?’

Charlie nodded. Anna put her hand on the girl’s burning forehead. The nurse’s calm manner was settling Anna’s fear that Charlie would die. Now she felt sick with fear that someone would figure out who they were.

Pat appeared in the doorway and walked over to them. He was still in a sarong and t-shirt. He pulled the hard plastic chair close to the bed. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Okay. The iceblock is to rehydrate her. How did you go?’

He spoke quietly. ‘It’s all fine. I just had to fill in a form, that’s all.’ He squeezed her forearm, his hand so cool compared to Charlie’s. ‘Don’t worry.’

She whispered, ‘What name did you give? You didn’t say you were her father, did you?’

‘No. No. You’re Annie and Chay Patterson. And I gave a made-up local address and phone.’

‘Won’t they look it up?’

‘I don’t think so. The woman seemed very relaxed. Remember, this is a small country hospital.’ He smiled as the nurse approached the bed.

She carried a plastic syringe and bottle of medication in her hand. ‘Hi. Are you Dad?’

‘A friend.’ He smiled even more broadly.

•

A blonde woman in jeans appeared near the desk and spoke to the nurse. Every now and then the two of them glanced over at Charlie’s bed. The doctor – she must be the doctor, she had a stethoscope draped around her neck – bent to the desk and typed something into the computer. Anna’s chest tightened.

Pat said, in a low voice, ‘Just keep breathing. It’s okay.’

The doctor walked purposefully towards Charlie’s bed. Anna was not sure she could do this. The panic was like a band around her chest now.

‘Hi, I’m Clare, the doctor on duty this evening.’

She had a blonde bob and freckles and looked about Anna’s age.

‘So, this is Possum? Is that her real name?’

‘It’s Chay,’ said Anna.

She bent and looked into Charlie’s face. ‘Hi, Chay. I’m Clare, the doctor. Have you got a headache right now?’

Charlie nodded.

‘Okay. We’ve given you something that should help the headache go away. And I hear you’re feeling quite hot, eh?

Charlie nodded.

‘How long has she had the fever?’ The doctor glanced between Anna and Pat.

‘For almost ten hours,’ said Anna.

Anna watched the doctor concentrating as she gently palpated Charlie’s belly. Anna thought that the doctor was the kind of person she used to be – reasonable and law-abiding. By taking Charlie, Anna had placed herself outside the world of these people. She was not one of them anymore. And she was afraid of what these women might detect with their cleverness and intuition.

The doctor looked at Charlie’s ears and throat, and felt around her jawline. She stood silently watching the girl for a few moments. Finally, she asked, ‘How’s that iceblock, Chay? You’ve nearly finished it.’

Charlie whispered, ‘My name’s not Chay.’

Anna’s skin crawled. ‘Well . . .’ she said.

‘What’s your name, then?’ Clare kept her eyes fixed on Charlie, her face impassive.

Anna’s head spun. This was it.

‘She likes to be called Possum,’ said Pat.

‘Okay.’

The doctor didn’t seem convinced. Anna looked down at the blanket and made herself examine the weave of the cotton. Under and over, under and over. From the corner of her eye, she saw a man carry a crying toddler into the room. One of the child’s feet was wrapped in a blue towel.

Clare adjusted the stethoscope around her neck. ‘The fever is a sign she has an infection, either viral or bacterial. There’s no focal point for infection that I can find. Not ears, not throat, not chest, nothing abdominal I can detect. It could be a urinary tract infection. So we’ll do a test for that when she next does a wee. If she doesn’t improve in the next hour, I’ll want to think about sending her up to Tweed Hospital.’

‘Alright.’ Anna swallowed. Tweed Hospital. Even more chance of being caught.

The doctor tipped her head to one side to meet Charlie’s eyes. ‘Do you think you could have a drink now?’

Charlie nodded.

‘Okay. We’ll get you one.’

The doctor crossed to the desk in her silent running shoes and spoke to the nurse. They glanced over to Charlie’s bed with serious faces. When the doctor picked up a phone, Anna wanted to get off the bed and run, with Charlie in her arms. There was an emergency exit just ten feet away; she could be up and out the door in a few seconds.

Pat put his hand on her arm. ‘Do you want a drink, Anna?’

‘Yes, please.’

The doctor was talking on the phone now.

‘What’s she doing on the phone, do you think? Should we just go?’

‘I think that would look very suspicious.’

‘They could be looking up things on the computer.’ And finding those photos of Charlie and Anna. ‘They seem to think she’s okay. We should just go.’

‘If we’re jumpy they’ll get suspicious. Just take some deep breaths and I’ll get you some water.’ He stood and disappeared out the door.

Anna heard the doctor talking to the man with the toddler, who was whimpering now. She took a couple of deep breaths and focused on Charlie’s fingers holding the iceblock. Such small fingers, and dirty little fingernails.

The nurse brought a cup with a straw and Anna held it for Charlie. She said, ‘Here’s a sheet of paper so your friend can note what she drinks and also any wees. We just want to keep track.’

She put the sheet of paper and a pen on Pat’s chair. She seemed perfectly calm and friendly, not like someone who’d just identified a child and her abductor.

Anna cleared her throat. ‘So this urine test, when will that happen?’

‘Well, we’ll need to wait for some fluid to go through her.’ She glanced at the notes and her watch. ‘We’ll see if she feels ready to try in about forty-five minutes. Okay?’

Anna wasn’t sure she could manage forty-five minutes more of this.

‘Okay.’ Anna took a deep breath and smoothed Charlie’s hair back from her eyes.

Charlie had a drink then pushed the cup away. She curled up on her side, her body resting between Anna’s legs, and closed her eyes. Soon her breathing was deep and regular.

Pat returned with two bottles of water and a chocolate bar. ‘I know one of the nurses. The one looking after the little boy two beds up.’

‘Is the boy okay?’

‘There’s a lot of blood.’

Anna drank some water. ‘We have to wait another forty-five minutes until they can do the urine test.’

‘We’ll be fine. Just stay calm and act normal.’

He tore open the chocolate wrapper and passed it to her. It was so sweet and creamy, it seemed like something from another lifetime.

‘Thank you so much for bringing us down, especially when Sabine didn’t want you to . . .’

He nodded and took the chocolate bar back. ‘That’s fine. I’ll go out and give her a call soon. Just to let her know what’s happening.’

He finished the chocolate then flattened the wrapper on the bed. His hands looked battered and rough against the white cotton blanket. Pat’s hands – the particular shape of them – were more familiar to her than her mother’s. Which was not the way it should be.

‘You know,’ said Pat, ‘I was thinking of you the day you turned up. Which was why I didn’t feel all that surprised when you drove in. And when I saw her,’ he nodded at Charlie, ‘it was . . . it was as if she was the . . . I don’t know . . .’ He shook his head. ‘As if she was the ghost of that child we never had.’ He shrugged with what looked like embarrassment. ‘It was . . . very strange.’

She smiled. ‘That’s very supernatural of you, Pat.’ But goosebumps fizzed up her arms. Was Charlie somehow the ghost of that child for her too? ‘She’s much younger than our child would have been, though.’

Our child.
A prickling sensation ran under the skin of her whole body, and she looked down and blinked.

‘Yeah, that child would have been seventeen,’ said Pat. He folded the chocolate wrapper neatly in half. ‘Did you ever regret it? The abortion?’

She looked at Charlie’s hands, curled in sleep, one of them resting on Anna’s breast. ‘I’ve wondered what would have happened if we’d actually had a frank conversation about it rather than just fumbling our way into a termination. Yes, I’ve had moments of regret. Moments of wishing we’d been braver.’

‘What honest conversation did we need to have?’

‘Any honest conversation, really. Don’t you think we found it impossible to talk about anything difficult? I felt like I was tiptoeing around . . . and . . .’

How could she describe the ways she contorted herself, trying to be whatever it was she thought he wanted? Except she could never figure out what it was that he wanted and he never told her. Which made everything she did an agony.

Pat said, ‘We’re both loners, that’s all.’

‘I’m not anymore.’

She didn’t want to be a loner. And she certainly didn’t feel like a loner sitting here with Charlie asleep on her. The girl had been lying on her for so long now, Anna felt like they’d melded, that she’d taken on the girl’s temperature, her weight and her smell. She couldn’t imagine peeling her away.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Pat. ‘I think we did the best we could at the time. It was all we knew to do. Both of us.’

His phone beeped in his pocket. He pulled it out. ‘It’s Sabine. I’ll go out and call her.’

Charlie sighed and burrowed into Anna. Anna ran her fingers over the girl’s forehead. She felt much cooler.

Anna wanted a child. She knew that now. But she didn’t want just any child, she didn’t want some abstract child, she didn’t even want that unknown child that she and Pat might have had.

She wanted Charlie. And she had the feeling that she was the family that Charlie was meant to have. And she knew full well that the cops and the courts would not agree.

Pat was away for what felt like a long time and came back in as a different nurse approached the bed.

‘Hi guys. I’ll just check your girl’s temperature again.’ She put the clip on Charlie’s finger and slipped the thermometer into her ear. It beeped and Charlie stirred.

‘That’s more like it,’ said the nurse, whose badge read
Mel
. ‘How are you feeling, little one?’

Charlie looked around. ‘Can I have another iceblock?’

‘Sure. Do you think you might be able to do a wee first?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said in a small voice.

‘Well, let’s give it a go and if it doesn’t work, we’ll try again a bit later. We only need a dribble. I’ll give you a moment to wake up. The toilet’s just down the hall. Probably best if you carry her, Mum, and I’ll come with you.

•

After the trip to the toilet, Charlie was much perkier. Back on the bed, she looked around and asked again for an ice block. Her face was calm, as if it had been washed clean.

The new nurse brought them a warm cotton blanket and an iceblock. Charlie pulled the blanket up to her chest. Anna looked at the clock on the wall. It was 8.30. They’d been there for an hour and a half.

‘Pat.’

He looked up from the magazine he was reading.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that Beatie knew we were there.’

He nodded. ‘I would have preferred to hear it from you, not her.’

‘I know.’

He folded the magazine in half and ran his fingers up the crease. ‘I couldn’t ask you to leave, in the end. I thought about it.’

‘Thank you.’

The doctor approached. ‘So, the urine dip came back normal. Nothing to worry about there.’

She read something on her clipboard then looked at Charlie in a way that sent a jolt of panic through Anna.

I knew it. We should have left before. I should have taken the chance when we had it.

The doctor said, ‘I’d say it’s a virus and she’ll just get better from now on. We’ve had a handful of kids in lately with something similar.’ She wrote something down and took another long look at Charlie.