Promise Me (7 page)

Reddick smiled. “I had a feeling there would be a few of you that would find that news exciting. Keep in mind, though, that we will have three exams throughout the semester that you will have to come in person to take. If you’re not here, you’ll get a zero. All other days of the semester, you can choose to learn the material however you see fit. But for those of you who decide to come to class each day, plan to have some real fun.”

“More fun than if we watch the lecture online?” the brunette with Micah’s roommate asked.

“Why yes. What could be better than getting the 3-D experience of Dr. Hall’s lectures?”

The class laughed. At least this guy was entertaining, even if he wasn’t the professor.

I looked down as the guy next to me tossed a stack of syllabi onto my small desk. I took one and passed it to the girl on my other side, looking down at it in excitement. I was such a nerd. I’d always loved school way too much. Maybe it was because it had been an escape for me, a place where I could be a kid and just learn without the responsibilities I’d faced at home, but it had always been something I’d found joy in.

Reddick continued to talk for a few more minutes, and then he introduced Professor Hall. As soon as the professor stepped to the front of the room, I sat up straighter and got ready to take notes. I didn’t want to miss anything that might be relevant on the exams Reddick had mentioned. Three of them meant that each one would be worth roughly twenty-five percent of our grade, with the other twenty-five percent coming from a series of essays we’d complete throughout the semester. That was a lot of weight per test, and if I didn’t do well on one of them, I’d be screwed. I’d have to make sure that didn’t happen.

As class ended, everyone around me got to their feet and proceeded to file out. I was planning to scoot out of the room before Micah and his crew got their things together, but unfortunately I got held up by a guy in my row who had to tie his shoe.

As I waited to exit the row, I heard, “Hey neighbor.”

I knew it was Micah, but I ignored him, pretending like I didn’t know he was talking to me.

“Ka-ate,” he said then, dragging my name out like it was two syllables. “Kate, Kate, Kate. Hey Kate. Hi Kate!”

I sighed, gritted my teeth and turned to him, acting like I was surprised to see him. “Micah, hi. How are you?”

“So good. You?” he asked as he reached where I was standing and let me step out in front of him in the aisle. Such a gentleman.

“I’m doing alright,” I told him. “Thanks for asking.”

“I had no idea you were in this class. How crazy is that?”

“It’s pretty crazy,” I said, trying to bite back my sarcasm as I made the slow climb to the top of the auditorium.

“So crazy,” he agreed. “Hey Jack!”

“Yeah, man?” I heard his roommate say.

“This is our neighbor – the one Cullen likes. I’m kind of into her roommate,” Micah blurted out, and I was sure if Cullen knew he’d said that, he probably wouldn’t be too happy.

I heard Jack clap Micah on the shoulder. “And I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that you just told her. Hi Kate. I’m Jack, and I’m nowhere near as blunt as my roommate.”

I smiled to myself, doubting seriously that what he’d just said was the truth. But at least he seemed friendly.

I looked over my shoulder at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Jack said to me. “Welcome to the complex.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, wishing the people in front of us would move a little faster.

“She already knew Cullen was into her,” Micah defended.

I shook my head in annoyance. He just didn’t know when to stop talking.

“I’m not so sure she did know, Micah,” Jack teased him. “Did you know, Kate?”

“Um, I don’t really – I don’t know.”

“See, she did know,” Micah told him as we reached the door and filed out. “If she didn’t, though, Cullen’s going to be pissed at me. Please don’t tell him.”

“No promises, man,” I heard Jack say nonchalantly as Micah groaned.

“Damn, man. He’s totally going to kick my ass – again.”

“Then you might want to think before you speak from now on,” I heard Jack tell him and smiled to myself. It was exactly what I’d been thinking.

I turned to Micah once we’d stepped away from the door, fighting the urge to bolt without saying a word to him. I might not have cared much for him, but I didn’t want to cause a fight between friends. And he kind of reminded me of an eager puppy. He had good intentions, and he didn’t always know that what he was doing was wrong. I guess I had a soft spot for that.

“Sara mentioned that Cullen might be interested in me,” I told him. “I guess I sort of already knew. I won’t tell him you said anything to me.”

Micah grinned at me, his demeanor completely changing. “Sweet. Thanks,” he said, clapping me on the shoulder. “I knew you were a cool girl.” He turned back to Jack. “See, I told you she was a cool girl. She’s not going to say anything to Cullen, so you won’t either, right?”

Jack wasn’t paying attention to him. He was looking down at his girlfriend who was showing him something on her phone.

“Jack?” Micah prompted impatiently when he didn’t look up.

“What’s that?” Jack asked, looking at Micah and then at me. “What did I miss?”

It was the first time I’d looked at him head-on, and I realized that I’d been wrong before. He wasn’t just hot, he was gorgeous. Not only was he tall – probably 6’2” if I had to guess – but his skin was a warm golden tan, his cheekbones and jaw were angular in a way that I’d only ever seen on models in magazines, and he had these intense hazel eyes that completely focused on the person he was talking to – in this case, me – and it was kind of hard to look away from him.

I watched him take his hat off of his head as he looked between Micah and me once more. He ran his hand through hair that any girl would kill to have. It was dark brown but streaked with natural highlights, as if he’d spent the summer outdoors, and there was the subtlest wave to it that gave it body. I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked. I imagined it was, but I didn’t dare try to figure it out for myself.

“I was just saying what a cool girl Kate is,” Micah told his roommate.

“That’s great,” Jack said casually as his girlfriend threaded her fingers with his. “I’ve heard a lot about you and your roommate.”

And then he smiled, and oh my, what a beautiful smile it was. Maybe I’d been wrong to judge him so quickly.

“And she’s not going to tell Cullen that I told her he liked her,” Micah interjected, “because she already sort of knew. So you won’t either, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” Jack said, seeming just the slightest bit irritated with his friend.

I had a feeling it wasn’t the first time Micah’s mouth had gotten him in trouble.

“Jack, we have to go,” his girlfriend said then, and he turned his intense gaze on her. “My next class is on the other side of campus.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said jovially. And then he turned to me. “It was nice meeting you, Kate. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Nice meeting you too,” I told him and felt my cheeks get hot when I heard how hoarse my voice sounded.

What was wrong with me?

As he and his girlfriend left, I fought the urge to watch them walk away, because a shameless part of me sort of wanted to check out Jack’s ass. I had a feeling it was exactly how I was picturing it, and I knew it was going to be a sight to behold. But as soon as that became a conscious thought, embarrassment washed over me, and I forced myself to think of as many non-sexual things as I could.

Seriously, what was wrong with me? I didn’t usually walk around with the desire to check out guy’s asses, but in the span of five minutes, I’d essentially become a complete voyeur.

“I should get going too,” Micah said then and stretched his arms over his head, revealing a strip of his tanned stomach. “I feel a nap coming on.”

As soon as I realized that seeing his abs did nothing for me, I sent a little thank you up to whoever was listening. It was a relief to know that I wasn’t completely losing my mind.

“Are you done with classes for the day?” I asked Micah as I felt myself return to normal.

“Nah, but my next class isn’t until later this afternoon. As a rule, I don’t schedule classes before noon, but Jack made me come to this one since it was the first day. I’ll watch it online from here on out.”

I nodded. “Sounds like a good plan.”

“Maybe we could watch it together,” he suggested, his expression brightening. “That would make it less boring. Jack won’t watch it with me. He’s planning to come to every friggin’ class in person, the schmuck. I told him it’s insane of the school to expect us to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and think we’ll actually retain the information they’re pushing on us, but he didn’t agree with me.”

That actually surprised me to hear. After what I’d seen before class started, I’d have assumed Jack would have also been more inclined to sleep in than to get up early to learn. Maybe I’d judged him too quickly.

“Sorry, Micah,” I told him, “but I’m actually going to come to every friggin’ class in person too. I guess I’m a schmuck as well.”

I watched Micah’s cheeks get red. “Oh, I didn’t mean
you
when I said that. I just like to rib on Jack, because he studies all the damn time. It’s just a thing I do.”

“But I bet he won’t have to take Macroeconomics twice,” I teased him, making him grin.

“Touché, Kate. Touché.”

I hitched my backpack higher on my shoulder as I told him, “I should get going. I’ve got class in the next building over. Good seeing you.”

“Always good seeing you, neighbor,” he said jovially.

“Bye Micah,” I said as I turned away from him.

Chapter Four

Jack

“Hey, there’s Sara,” Cullen said excitedly, stretching onto his toes to see across the game room of our frat house that was filled with too many girls to count and the majority of our brothers.

“Who?”

I had no idea who he was talking about.

“Our neighbor,” he reminded me, as if that made things clearer.

We had a lot of neighbors in our apartment complex, and my roommates knew most of them. I didn’t have the time they did to hang out at the pool on the weekends or check out the endless parties that happened each night, and I was horrible with remembering names and faces. Most of the time when someone said hi to me when I was getting the mail or walking to my apartment I just waved back, assuming I’d probably met them at some point.

I watched Cullen wave to a group of girls and beckon them to join us on the other side of the room. Of the four girls, the brunette looked vaguely familiar to me, so I figured she was Sara. She smiled brightly at Cullen and indicated to her friends that they should follow her, and they started to make their way through the sea of people.

“I told her and Kate about the party when I saw them earlier,” Cullen told me. “I wasn’t sure if they’d actually come. Kate seemed kind of non-committal. I wonder if she’s here too. Do you see her?”

Cullen craned his neck, looking for the girl he hadn’t stopped talking about since the first night he’d mentioned her to me. I realized then that Sara was Kate’s roommate, and they were the girls who’d moved in across the hall from us a month earlier. I really should have remembered that, considering my roommates were slightly obsessed with the two of them and talked about them non-stop.

“I’m actually not sure I remember what Kate looks like enough to pick her out of a crowd,” I told Cullen honestly as I took a swig of my beer.

Loud music pumped overhead, and I listened to the laughter and conversation rising above it and stretching out from all corners of the room. It was a good party. It was just too bad I wouldn’t be able to stay. Two weeks into classes, and I already had a shitload of work to do. Maybe taking five core classes wasn’t as smart as I’d originally thought.

No, I’d be fine. I just had to find my groove – and I had to stop letting my roommates talk me into going out when I had more important things to do.

But Cullen had begged, and then Micah had started to annoy me, and I knew from experience that he wouldn’t stop until I agreed to go to the party. So I’d driven my own truck, I’d told them I’d have one drink, and I was planning to leave as soon as I finished my beer.

Alyssa wasn’t even there. She was at some country music concert with a few of her friends. She’d wanted me to go with them, but I’d politely declined. Eight years of living in Texas, and even though I’d adopted a lot of the culture, I’d never been able to get into country music. Lucky for me, Austin was a town known for all types of music, so I wasn’t forced to listen to it if I didn’t want to.

Lys was a big fan though, and after I saw what she was wearing, I almost regretted not going to the show. She’d done it up right with a short sundress, cowboy boots that showed off her killer legs, and some sort of headband thing that intrigued me, since it looked sexy on her. I told her to come over after the show, and she’d said she would. So if I didn’t get my ass home to study, I’d be screwed when she knocked on my door and wanted to play. I knew I’d never be able to resist her looking the way she did.

“What do you mean you don’t remember what Kate looks like?” Cullen asked, looking over at me in confusion, as if it was the most horrendous thing I could have said.

“I only met her that one time,” I reminded him.

“We saw her and Sara last Wednesday when we were bringing home Thai food,” he reminded me, obviously putting a lot more stock in passing someone on the sidewalk outside our apartment than I did.

I’d barely been paying attention to the two girls he’d said hi to as we’d walked by them. I’d been more focused on getting home so I could get the pad Thai I could smell through the bag into my stomach.

“I guess I didn’t realize who they were,” I told him honestly.

“Don’t you have a class with Kate?”

“I do, but it’s a big class. I don’t ever talk to her. And like I said, I can’t exactly remember what she looks like.”

Cullen looked horror-struck. “Dude, she’s like the hottest fucking girl I’ve seen in the two years I’ve been here.”

“I do remember her being cute,” I agreed, recalling the one time I’d spoken to Kate.

She was blond, pretty, and she had a smart tongue. I remembered liking that about her. But I also had a girlfriend, so it wasn’t like I’d been checking her out. Hell, if Micah hadn’t stopped her after class, she wouldn’t have even been on my radar.

“She’s more than cute,” Cullen admonished. “She’s beautiful, and she’s sweet and smart, and dude, those legs! Have you seen her legs?”

“You know, I actually haven’t. But you know whose legs I adore?”

“Whose?”

“My girlfriend’s,” I said, taking a swig of my beer.

“Yeah, Alyssa does have great legs. I’ll give you that.”

She sure did. She also had a great ass, a great rack, and she kissed like a fiend.

“But Kate, man,” Cullen continued. “Mmm, I don’t know. There’s just something about her that I find so fucking sexy.”

“Is it the fact that she’s not into you?” I joked, but at the same time I was sort of serious.

I’d been there when Micah had blown Cullen’s cover, and even if it apparently hadn’t been that much of a secret to begin with, Kate hadn’t batted an eyelash when she’d learned how Cullen felt about her. It sucked, because Cullen was a cool guy, but I had a feeling that no matter what he did, Kate wasn’t going to be interested in him.

“She’s just playing hard to get,” Cullen told me, most likely trying to smooth over his bruised ego. “She’ll come around.”

I didn’t get a chance to tell him that she probably wouldn’t, since a few seconds later, Sara and her friends appeared in front of us. Once she was standing in front of me, I realized I did know her. I’d seen her a couple of times over the past few weeks when I’d been coming and going to my apartment. But I definitely didn’t recognize the two blondes and the redhead who were with her.

“Hey Cullen. Hi Jack,” Sara said cheerfully when she reached us.

I guess she knew who
I
was.

“Hey Sara,” Cullen said, giving her a side hug. “I’m glad you made it.”

She leaned into him and grinned. “We wouldn’t have missed the best party on campus.”

“Damn right,” Cullen agreed. “So who are your friends?”

Sara smiled as she said, “Cullen, Jack, meet Piper, Mia and Ella. Ladies, these are two of the hottest guys in Sigma Delt.”

“I’ll say,” one of the blondes said as she looked me up and down, making me feel a little like a piece of meat. “Jack, was it?”

“That’s me,” I told her placidly as I tipped my beer back and almost drained it.

I could feel the pull toward the door. I wasn’t interested in flirting with other girls – especially not girls who were in the same sorority as my girlfriend. And I realized that all four of them were when I saw the AKPi letters around their necks.

I knew they’d gotten them the day before. Alyssa was the New Member Educator for her sorority, and she’d had to be at the house for some ceremony where they handed out necklaces with AKΠ charms on them. It was apparently a big deal for a pledge to get her letters, and Lys had told me all about it when we’d been on the phone earlier in the week. Then she’d paused, and I hadn’t really understood why – that is until she asked me if I’d ever thought of giving her
my
letters.

As soon as she said that I felt all the blood in my head drain south, and I’d had to sit down on my bed and take deep breaths to keep from passing out. In the past year, a few of my frat brothers had given their girlfriends a charm with the Sigma Delt letters on them as a way to signify commitment. But it wasn’t just about committing to be exclusive. It was a
big
step – one that usually preceded the big question and a diamond ring. And don’t get me wrong, I loved Lys, but no way in hell was I even ready for a conversation about marriage, let alone a step in that direction.

I was looking at three more years of undergrad, then med school, and then residency. I wasn’t going to be ready to settle down for a long time, and even if Lys was the girl for me, which I honestly wasn’t sure she was, she’d never wait that long to have a family. I knew it was something she wanted sooner rather than later. She’d wait until after she graduated, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t want to wait long. She was also a year older than me in school, so if we were still dating in two years when she graduated, there was no doubt in my mind that the marriage pressure would start – if it hadn’t already.

Either way, I wasn’t ready to consciously think about a lifelong commitment. And I wasn’t going to treat the decision lightly when I did decide to consciously think about it. After the shit I’d witnessed with my parents when I was younger, it was going to take a lot for me to get married in the first place, and even then it would have to be to the right girl, at the right time in my life. No way was I going to settle like my mom had.

Even if what had happened to her was an extreme case, I hated that she’d married my father. And even though her not marrying him would have meant that I never would have been born, I’d have taken it over what had happened to her. She didn’t deserve any of it, and I hoped my old man rotted in jail for what he did to her. I’d never be able to forgive him, and as far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist. In my mind, both of my parents had died the day he’d decided to take her life in a fit of rage.

In all honesty, I
wished
my father was dead. He’d made my life a living hell when he was in it. Back then I lived in a constant state of terror, because I’d been too little to do anything about my circumstances. And even after years of therapy, the fear he’d instilled in me was still there. I knew he could pop into my head at any time, and I’d be right back in that dingy trailer, covering my ears with my hands, scared shitless about what he was going to do next.

I could still see his face red with rage, his features twisted with anger, spit flying out of his mouth as he loomed over me, calling me every name in the book, making me feel worthless, and lashing out at me for reasons I couldn’t explain. I could smell the stale alcohol on his breath. I could hear the coldness in his voice, and I could feel the power radiating off of him as I cowered against the corner of my room where my bed met the wall, hoping and praying he’d leave me alone. And all the while, I’d wished I had the courage to do the one thing I knew would ensure he’d never hurt my mother or me again.

I’d wanted to kill him. I’d never wanted anything more in my life, and I’d thought about taking his life and ending his reign of terror too many times to count. But I never worked up the courage to actually do it.

Once when I was eleven, I’d stood over his passed out body with my baseball bat in my hand. I’d contemplated bashing his head in. I’d even thought of what it would sound like and feel like, and if there would be a lot of blood. I wondered if it would hurt him.

A part of me wanted him to feel it, just so he would know what it had been like each time he’d struck my mom or me. I wanted him to feel the sting I’d felt when his hand had collided with my cheek or when he’d yanked my arm so hard it nearly pulled it out of the socket. I wanted him to know how degrading it felt when he called me stupid, belittled me, or made me feel like I was worthless. I wanted him to be afraid, just like I had been for so many years. I wanted him to have to think about wearing long sleeves to hide the handprint marks on his upper arms or to sit alone on his bed in tears like I had, because I’d literally felt helpless and scared out of my mind for so long that I couldn’t remember a time I hadn’t been afraid.

I wanted him to know that he wasn’t invisible, that even if my mom refused to stand up to him and make him stop hurting us, I cared enough about her to defend her when she wouldn’t defend herself. I wanted him to know that I hated him enough to end his life. But before I could do any of that my mom had walked into the room.

She must have known what I was thinking because she pulled the bat from my hands and told me to go to my room. She told me to never do that again, and then she’d thrown my bat in the trash. I’d fished it out the next day, and I’d hid it under my bed just in case the sonofabitch ever came after me again. I told myself if he did, it was game over. I’d be ready for him.

Of course I wasn’t as brave as I liked to think, and instead of waiting for him to find me and lash out at me, I’d started escaping his wrath whenever I could. But the temptation to give him a taste of his own medicine was always there. I’d often thought about what it would feel like to stand over him as he took his last breath, and most of the time, it brought me joy, because I knew it was the only way we’d ever be free.

In the end, that day never came. He took things too far, and the cops hauled him off to jail before I even knew what had happened. I never saw him again, and I never cared to. He was dead to me. I had a new family, a new life, and I even had a new name. I rarely even looked back – except when I thought of my mother. But the asshole who’d named me after himself rarely earned a conscious thought. He wasn’t worth even a second of my time.