I laughed. “You need to just take control and say screw it, because this is just getting ridiculous,” I said lowering my breath.
She laughed, “You’re probably right. I’m just afraid to take the first step.”
“Well, when you finally do, make sure you turn your phone off! Any text or call that comes in, he’ll think is a guy,” I joked.
She giggled at that, “Yeah, good thinking!”
We turned back to watch the guys. Z looked over at me; he pulled his shirt up to wipe his brow and winked at me. He mouthed
hot and sweaty
to me. I giggled and bit my lip. Matt hit him over the head so he’d pay attention. I giggled again.
“So, you two seem to be going pretty well, huh?” Melanie and I hadn’t really had a chance to talk since I’ve been at Z’s every night and working.
I beamed “Yeah, we seem to be doing really well.” I bit my lip smiling just thinking about the past week.
Melanie nudged me. “Good, I’m glad for you, really. You deserve it. And you can’t find a nicer guy than Z.” She chuckled, “Well, besides Flynn.” Then she turned serious. “Have you thought about what might happen if HE ever comes back into the picture?”
“What do you mean? I don’t think HE’s even looking for me.” I hoped. HE felt like some ugly green monster that kept rearing its head that I kept trying not to think about.
“But you’re done with him, right?” She asked with her eyebrows raised, almost coaxing me to say yes.
“Yeah, of course I am. I mean after what HE did, not to mention keeping you from me. I can’t ever go back to that.” I had no intention of going back with HIM. What I have with Z was something I never had with anyone. Even if HE had loved me, it was never anything close to what I have with Z. I know I was falling in love with Z.
“Okay…Good, I was just checking. I mean it was two years you were with him. That’s a long time. So, what really happened that last night that actually made you leave?”
“I...I can’t tell you here.” We’re in the middle of a neighborhood block party.
“Alright…but soon, you’ll tell me soon, right?” She pleaded. I just nodded, hoping to get her to stop asking. I wasn’t sure if it was more out of curiosity than anything else. After what I had told her so far, she would never look at me the same. She would only have pity in her eyes and I don’t want anyone’s pity after a life of having nothing but that. Z started giving me that look the night we hustled pool at his dive bar. I was hoping he wasn’t going to give me that look again.
The guys scored a touchdown and Flynn and Z’s moms came and sat on each side of us. Both mothers were very young looking for their age and seemed to stay in great shape. Both Z’s parents were good looking and I could tell where Matt and Z got their great looks. Z’s mom, Mrs. Williams or Sarah, as she insisted I call her, nudged me playfully. “Having fun, Izzy?”
I smiled, nodding my head. “Yes, actually a lot. This is a great neighborhood.”
“Yes, it really is.” She agreed as we watched the boys play.
I heard Flynn’s mom, Tania, start talking to Melanie asking her what’s going on with her and her son. I practically snorted. Melanie answered, “I have no idea what your son is thinking!”
Sarah leaned over to me and said, “Stubborn boys, aren’t they? Just like their fathers!”
Tania leaned over and snickered. “Flynn more so!” Then turning back to Melanie and said “Let me guess, he’s jealous all the time, isn’t he?”
I giggled at that. To say the least! Sarah looked at me lowering her voice, “That bad, huh?” I nodded, rolling my eyes.
Melanie whined, “I just don’t know what to do anymore!”
I laughed, “You know exactly what to do!” She turned and glared at me. I still giggled.
Sarah huffed, “I’m sure I agree with you right now, Izzy!”
Tania started laughing. “These boys sometimes need a good kick in the ass!” Tania and Melanie turned to each other and started discussing the issue.
Sarah turned to me and quietly said, “How are you really doing? Z told me a little bit about your childhood. Seems like you had your share of rough times so early, huh?”
I shrugged and pulled my chin up, not looking at her for fear she had that look of pity. “Yeah, I guess I have. But it’s okay, really. Things turn out for the better.” I had to believe that or all the shit I’ve been through would come crashing down and I’d really have nothing to hold on to. I refused to believe the last lesson HE gave me.
“I like your attitude, Izzy. Sometimes life hands you a shit deal, but you’re the only one who can turn it around.” She sighed deeply. I smiled at Z looking over and winking at me.
“He likes you a lot, you know. He doesn’t stop talking about you during our phone calls. Even when he was with that ex of his, he mentioned you.” Wow, it’s nice to know that he did have the same feelings I did even when we first met. “He’s had his share of troubles as a teen too. Those were some tough times.”
I looked at her curiously. “Why? What happened?” None of the gang had ever mentioned anything to me.
“Oh, he had more than his share of heartaches in high school. Then he started getting in trouble with the cops. He started in with the wrong crowd for a bit – stealing cars. He hooked up with some pretty scary boys. Took his Dad and Matt to really straighten his ass out!” I was shocked. I knew Z wasn’t an angel, but didn’t think he did stuff like that. “Matt was already in college, but came home all the time to kick his butt. The third time he was arrested, Matt decided to come home for a semester. He followed him around and when any of those idiots came near Z, Matt told them that Z wasn’t going to do stuff for them anymore.” She smiled and sighed again. “They’ve always been very close.” We watched the boys play for a little bit longer then she smiled. “I hope things work out between you two. You seem like a very sweet girl who could make him happy.”
I smiled. “I hope so.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I didn’t know where things might go for us, but I could always be hopeful it would turn out for the better.
She breathed in deeply, “Well, I suppose I should start cleaning up.” She said standing. Tania stood up too.
“What can I do?” I asked as I stood up.
“No, you girls just sit here watching the boys. They’re getting all hot and sweaty! I used to love watching Z’s dad run around getting that way!” She laughed and winked at me. I giggled. I don’t think Z would have wanted to hear his mom say that! Melanie and I sat there watching while the game finished up.
“So, are you going to make a move when you get home with Flynn?” I asked Melanie watching the guys score the final touchdown. All the guys were high fiving and talking shit to the other team about how they beat their asses. It was funny to watch them.
She took a deep breath, “Yeah, I guess that’s what I need to do. What’s the worst that happens? I get thrown out into the street and have no place to live?” I laughed knowing that’s not what would happen; although it might be uncomfortable around the townhouse for a while, if things didn’t turn out for the better.
Z and Flynn came running up. I got a big sweaty hug and kiss on the lips from Z. “Hot and sweaty baby! What do you think,” he asked laughing and breathless from the game. I giggled and smiled at him.
“I love it! Too bad we’re not alone!” I teased.
He leaned in and whispered, “We could go up to my old bedroom. I’m sure I could clear off all the boxes off my bed!” He winked at me.
I started to consider it, but there’s no way I could face anyone if they saw us going up to the house knowing what we would probably be doing. “Let’s help clean up so we can get back to your place faster!” I teased and wiggled my eyebrows.
“Awww…come on. You considered it for a bit, though, didn’t you?”
I reached up to kiss him, “Absolutely! I’m loving you all hot and sweaty!” I whispered, giggling again. He pulled me into a huge hug and swung me around kissing me. He put me down and rushed to help clean up.
We helped clean quickly, said our goodbyes to everyone and
hurried
home.
Chapter 21
Z
After the block party, the weeks flew by. My family loved Izzy, as did Flynn’s parents and really the whole neighborhood, my mom told me. Izzy and I were having the best time. We started taking mini trips on the days the club was closed.
I finally found out she had an IUD, so we could scrap the condoms. Thank God, because that was pissing me off when we didn’t have one lying around – although she made up for those times with her sweet mouth. God she’s amazing and not just for that.
We’ve got this great connection and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was definitely different than all my other girlfriends I’ve ever had. We talked all the time about her past, not with her ex, she didn’t seem to want to go there just yet. But that’s okay, I’ve got time and all the patience in the world for her. I was really starting to fall hard for Izzy. To say I wanted to tell her I loved her every day was an understatement, but I didn’t want to scare her away by saying it too soon. Not to mention I’ve never said it to a girl, so I really wanted it to be special when I finally did say it.
Yep, everything was great until one night at the club – Fucking Whore came in. I was in the office on a busy Saturday night and she walked right in through the door and closed it. I looked up from the computer thinking it was Izzy, since every once in a while she would sneak in and we’d have an amazing quickie or a great make out session. No, it wasn’t Izzy, it was the Fucking Whore. But fuck she looked amazing. Just like when I first met her. She was just a knockout and she was dressed really nice.
I stood up and tried my best not to look her over, but couldn’t help it. I cleared my throat and tried to gruffly ask, “What are you doing here? Why’d you close the door?”
She smiled sexy and walked up to me putting her hand on my chest. “You ignore all my calls and texts, I thought I needed to come in and just talk to you.” She purred as she rubbed her hand on my chest. Fuck, she needed to get her hand off me, I kept thinking. I didn’t want Izzy to walk in and see her in here. Things were awesome between us and this Fucking Whore cheated on me. I didn’t forget that as she continued to rub her hand on my chest.
“I ignore your texts and calls because you cheated on me. Now you need to get out. It’s over between us and I really don’t want to see you again.” I tried to sound convincing, which was tough because her lips were so close to mine and fuck if she didn’t smell fantastic.
“Come on, it was so good in the beginning between us, don’t you remember? Remember the nights in my hot tub?” She purred. Fuck, I sure did. But I couldn’t let her think I remembered those.
“I remember you being bent over my couch by some asshole! You need to leave. Like now. We’re done and over with. There’s no chance we’re ever getting back together, regardless if I was with Izzy or not.”
She pouted. “Oh come on, for old time’s sake...” she reached up and pressed her lips to mine. I forgot how great she kissed and I may have let her lips linger a bit longer than I should have, but nothing compared to how sweet Izzy tastes.
I started to pull back and that’s when my door opened up and Izzy walked in saying, “Hey, I was thinking….” She froze and saw Fucking Whore with her lips on me. I’ll never forget that sad, disappointed look in her eyes.
I pushed Fucking Whore away and explained, “It’s not what you think.” Izzy looked away quickly and left the room hastily. “Fuck!” I could have punched Fucking Whore…especially if she just fucked up everything with Izzy. I ran after Izzy with Fucking Whore behind me, laughing as she walked out of my office.
I looked over and Izzy was right back behind the bar and started to talk to a guy taking his order. She looked flustered, but not terribly upset. I walked over to her as she was prepping the drink. “Izzy, it’s not what you think.” I tried to explain.
She looked at me with vacant eyes but calmly said, “No, it’s fine. Really. I understand,” and turned back around to prep the drinks.
What the fuck is she thinking in her head? “No, I don’t think you understand. She kissed me and I was pushing her away,” I insisted, lowering my voice.
She swallowed hard and nodded her head, “Okay, I got it,” smiling sweetly. She was ‘okay’ with that? I wasn’t getting it nor buying it. What girl wouldn’t be jealous as fuck walking in on her boyfriend and his ex – kissing. She looked up at me and whispered, “You’ve got lipstick on your lips.” I wiped it off with the back of my hand and looked over the bar area and saw Fucking Whore and her friends were all in a circle laughing while looking over at Izzy and me. Maybe Izzy didn’t want Fucking Whore to have the satisfaction of seeing her upset? I wasn’t sure, but that had to be it.
I stood there watching Izzy make drinks, serve and take the money for their drinks. Then I grabbed her by her arm and brought her back to my office. I closed the door and locked it. I didn’t want to be interrupted because I wanted to make sure she understood. I couldn’t lose Izzy for something stupid like this. I was falling madly in love with her.
Izzy leaned against my desk and was looking off into space. I tilted her head up to mine to make her look me in the eyes. “Izzy, I promise you that wasn’t what it looked like.”
She looked at me and smiled, “I know. I believe you. You said she kissed you and you told me you pushed her away. It’s okay. Really.”
Why wasn’t she jealous? “So….we’re all good?” I asked timidly. I wasn’t sure what to think at this point. If it was the other way around I’d be punching walls.
“Yes, we’re all good. Promise.” She was looking me in the eye, smiling, but she still had that vacant look in her eyes. She looked at the door, “I better get back out there. We’ve been slammed all night.”
I looked around the room then back to her eyes, “But we’re good, right? You’re not mad or anything, right? You understand she kissed me and I was pushing her off me, right?” I felt like she wasn’t really listening to me.
“Yes, promise. It’s all good.” She reached up to kiss me as I bent down to meet her lips with mine and wanted to kiss her deeply, but her kiss just felt …empty. Like she was just kissing to appease me.