Provider's Son (28 page)

“She did not have the right to pay tribute to his life or death,” Layton said. “She could not mourn or say her final goodbyes to her child, as every mother should.

“Many years later, her daughter was working in northern Ontario and she happened to mention the story to a local. He said, ‘I know where your brother is buried.' They went to the graveyard and he pointed to a spot, beside a headstone, and said, ‘Your brother is buried here.'”

Her little boy had died and they did not even put up a marker for him. It was too much. Levi imagined Sinead being taken away to a school as a little girl and her never coming back, with no explanation from anyone. He welled up, but swallowed it back down. Once again, God had abandoned the innocent. But of course Levi didn't believe in God.

The man wearing the headdress had been the next to speak after Layton, and he was greeted with warm applause and hoots from the balcony. On the screen it said Phil Fontaine. And it was not until he spoke, his voice occasionally breaking with emotion, that Levi began to see the headdress differently. He didn't know its exact significance, but he did know that it was a powerful reminder that the system had not won, that their culture was wounded, but still alive.

“Our peoples, our history, and our present being are an essence of Canada,” he said. “The attempts to erase our identities hurt us deeply, but it also hurt all Canadians and impoverished the character of this nation.”

After it was over Levi waited for Jon and Bill. Some people had gone, but there were still hundreds left. Now it appeared that many First Nations groups were having their own ceremonies and televised reactions to the apology. A reporter recognized Levi and approached him, his camera operator in tow.

“As a person who has worked with an Aboriginal in an artistic sense, and perhaps understands some of the problems facing their culture, how do you feel about Prime Minister Harpers apology?”

“I dont think it matters what I thinks. He whudnt apologizing to me.”

“Did you think it was sincere?”

Levi nodded to a middle-aged native that was walking away, one who he had seen sobbing. “Ask her,” he said, and walked off camera. As he did his cell phone rang.

“Where are you?” were a girl's first words.

“I just listened to Stephen Harpers apology. Where are you?”

“Whose apology?”

“Stephen Harper.”

“What did he do to you?”

“Nothing. It was for you.”

“Me? How does he know me?”

“Hes the prime minister of Canada. Dont ring any bells?”

“Oh, right. That guy. Yeah, he was apologizing to me. Right.”

“You dont understand. He —“

“All I understand is that Im going to have a little boy in my life real soon and I need a thousand dollars and a ride to Provider. Youre going to bring me.”

“Fuck the thousand dollars. Just go to Provider. You dont owe that asshole anything. He just got you brainwashed. Hes a lowlife.”

“Damian is not a lowlife. He took me in and took care of me.”

Levi didn't see the point of arguing any further.

“How soon do you want to leave?”

“Any day after I give him the money.”

“Just go to the hospital.”

“If I go to the hospital theyll take the baby away from me. And I dont trust Damian. Im having the child in Provider. At the nursing station. Are you going to help me?”

“Im not even in Fort Mac now. Im in Ottawa. I just told you I came here to see The Apology.”

“I know your heart.”

“How do you know my heart?”

“I know you want to help me. I know youre a good man.”

“Im sorry.”

“You said that before.”

“How would I even find you?”

“Ill call you.”

“When do you think youll have the baby?”

“Hes due any time now.”

“Ill...Ill see what I can do.”

As he got off the phone Jon and Bill were heading towards him.

“What did you think of it all?” Levi said to Jon.

“I dont know,” Jon said, for the first time since Levi had known him.

“We always want to believe this time will be different,” Bill said. “Even smart-asses like Jon.”

Provider

In Bill's SUV they circled the strip mall parking lot which contained The Pied Piper. It was as busy as ever, with patrons stumbling out into the chilly night air, their minds numb and their wallets empty. Levi asked a few people about Johanna, but no one knew anything. She had called Levi in a frenzy, and told him she would meet him there.

“This is pointless,” Bill said. “Shes not here.”

They quit circling the parking lot and stopped to decide where to go next. It was then that they heard the piercing shriek of an infant. She emerged like a ghost from the darkness of the alleyway in front of them. In her arms she was carrying her bundled up leather jacket. Out of the top peeked a wet little head. Levi jumped out of the SUV and ran to her. Bill and Jon got out as well.

“Did you just have that baby?” Levi said.

She smiled and nodded her head with lost eyes, as if the dark alley still held some part of her. “I knew youd come,” she said. “Angels cant lie.”

“You should get that baby and yourself to a hospital,” Bill said. “There could be complications.”

“Im going to Provider,” she said. “Youre going to bring me there.”

“Provider is a four hour drive from here, and half of it on a gravel forestry road,” Bill said. “Half the time that road is washed out anyway. And we just spent four hours on a plane. No way.”

“I dont care. Im not going to no hospital. Theyll take him away from me and put him in the system. Bring me home.”

“We cant go to Provider,” Bill said. “They cant just take your child from you because of what you do. It doesnt work that way.

It's a four hour drive from here anyway.”

“If I stay here and I dont put this baby up for adoption Damian will kill me. My death will be on your hands.”

When they turned off the highway onto the gravel road leading to Provider Bill was no longer aboard. He had gotten out at a gas station and took a cab back to the Erbacor Energy Executive Flight Center in Fort McMurray. Jon, having lost his license, could not drive, so Levi was behind the wheel. The gravel road was spotted with potholes that slowed them down. In places the shoulder was washed away and Levi prayed that this was as bad as it would get. Jon said that Erbacor had only put the road there a few years ago, and it was just a coincidence that the residents of Provider could use it to get to the highway.

Johanna held the baby to her chest protectively, constantly staring down at the boy to see how he was doing. Levi wished he could have seen something besides the baby's head to make sure he was healthy, but he hoped she would know that better than Jon or him. No cars passed them, and the headlights were lost in the spruce that crowded in around the tiny road.

Keeping himself pushed against the door he slowly reached into his pocket and got his flask. Holding his wrist against the steering wheel, he began untwisting the cap. When he looked up all he could see was brown fur. The moose was so big that even though it was standing on the left side of the road Levi still had to swerve to keep its snout from crashing through the window. Even then he managed to clip its antlers, the impact sounding like a hammer punching into the top corner of the cab, just above the windshield.

“What the fuck was that?” Jon said.

“A moose.”

“You drop this?” Jon said, holding up the flask to Levi. Most of it had wasted over the floor, leaving a mouthful or two in the bottom. Yet, there was no judgment on Jon's face. Levi said nothing, and took the flask from Jon's hand. He stared at it, screwed the cap back on, then rolled down the window and threw it out. Then wished he hadn't.

“How do you feel?” Jon asked Johanna.

“God told me in a dream that Levi would help me and my boy.”

Jon said nothing.

“I remembers when Sinead was born,” Levi said. “I didnt really know what to think of her. Where did this little person come from? I remembers thinking. I mean I knew I helped to make her, and her mother just born her, but I still didnt know where she came from. I still dont.”

The rain gradually changed from a light drizzle to a steady downpour that rattled on top of the SUV like hundreds of drumming fingers. It washed over the windshield causing Levi to drive even slower, leaning in, his shoulder muscles aching with tension as he squinted against the patterns of water reflecting the headlights back into his eyes.

“Im bleeding,” Johanna said. “Im bleeding.”

Levi slowed to the shoulder of the road. “Is that normal?” he said, turning around.

“No. I dont know.”

Levi looked at Jon who had turned on the cab light overhead and was staring at Johanna's crotch. He searched Jon's face for a reaction because he could not see her well from where he was.

“We shouldnt have done this,” Jon said. “We should have listened to Dad. Wer not halfway there yet.”

“How much is she bleeding?” Levi said. He got out of his seat and stared down at Johanna. A dark circle had enveloped the front of her jeans.

“Take the baby,” she said, handing him to Levi. “Im dizzy.”

Jon held her head and laid her across the backseat.

Levi suddenly realized that he was still holding an infant, her infant, and it scared him. He handed the baby to Jon.

“Here, take the baby. Ill keep driving, and you dial 911.”

“I dont know if that works here...”

“Take the baby!” Levi said. Jon reached over and awkwardly cradled the baby into his arms. Levi began driving again, not sure if he should speed up or slow down. He would not entertain the thought that Johanna might die in the back seat, and convinced himself that her problem was a minor complication involved in any child delivery. Death could not be stalking his perimeter once again, to take down another innocent, leaving him unscathed. He focused intensely on the road, pushing out all other thoughts that kept creeping in.

“My phone isnt working,” Jon said. “I didnt think it would on this road. Ive had trouble here before.”

Johanna got up on her elbows and looked down at herself. “Turn on the light.”

“No,” Jon said. “You dont need to see it. Youll be fine.”

“Turn on the light! I feel like Im soaking.”

Reluctantly, Jon reached up and switched on the cab light. Levi listened for reaction but there was only silence. Then, Johanna, “Oh God. Im going to die anyway.”

Her jeans were soaked in blood, along with the seat beneath her.

She laid back down and began to sob quietly.

“Give him to me,” she said.

Jon slowly lowered the baby onto her chest.

“What do you think is wrong?” Jon asked her.

“Im bleeding to death. It happened to my aunt.”

“No,” Levi said, “dont be so foolish. Well soon be there. Just hold on. Youll be best kind. Keep trying the phone, Jon.”

Jon did, but it wouldn't work. All Levi could do was drive.

“You cant let him get lost in the system,” she said. “Promise me youll make sure my son doesnt leave Provider. Promise me Levi. You too, Jon.”

“We dont need to promise you anything because youll be fine,” Jon said, and Levi agreed.

“Promise me anyway,” she said, and they both promised.

“Swear to God,” Johanna said.

“But...what if we dont believe in God?” Jon said.

“I swear to God,” Levi said.

“I swear to the Universe,” Jon said.

“Im going to call him David.”

“Nothing wrong with that name,” Levi said, his eyes filling.

“Its from the Bible. David and Goliath. I want my son to be brave like that.”

“I knew a David,” Levi said. “He faced down something even worse than Goliath.” He couldn't tell her that the David he knew had been defeated in the end.

“I want him to grow up in Provider. Provider is a good place. Good people with big souls.”

“He will,” Levi said.

She got Jon to lean in close, and whispered something in his ear.

Twenty minutes later Johanna's heart stopped beating. She simply stopped talking, slipped into a coma, and a few minutes later stopped breathing.

Jon handed the infant to Levi and began CPR. Levi was still driving and staring into the rain. He began rocking the infant in his arms, like he had with Sinead.

“We should be there by now!” Jon shouted as he pushed on Johanna's diaphragm. There was thick snap, like a stick being broken inside a blanket.

“Shit!” Jon said, his voice panicked. “I think I broke her rib.”

“Are you doing it right?”

“As far as I can remember. One, two, three...speed up! We should be there by now.”

Levi pushed the pedal to the floor and the SUV bounced over the hole-ridden road.

Levi began to pray:

You didnt answer my prayers with David, but Im asking you
again, please God dont let this young woman die. Her name is Johanna.
Please dont let her die.

“We should have listened to Dad,” Jon said, and breathed into Johanna's mouth.

Then the baby began to cry, and it quickly turned into angry shrieks. Levi was convinced the boy was sensing his mother's departure, the disconnection of the one person who would value him above all others. Levi was about to stop the vehicle and try to sooth the baby himself when streetlights appeared in the distance. In that same instant the baby stopped crying.

“Wer here.”

There was no hospital, but a one level, brick building that was the nursing station. With the baby still in his arms Levi pulled in as close to the doors as possible. He jumped out and ran inside while Jon continued CPR, keeping the blood circulating through Johanna's body and oxygen flowing to her brain.