Psion (18 page)

And they were a whole people who joined.
Because once, at its height, a whole civilization had been able to join.
The thing that for even two human psions was a wonder had been the soul of every Hydran, had been their strength, their world, their One. . . . And when I touched the truth in their mind, I felt fear in a way I’d never known, of things I would never understand. Because it was something that had almost destroyed me; and yet some part of me wanted it. . . . My mind broke away, but I forced it back again.

(Now the time had come at last; their waiting, their exile, were coming to an end. The key to the place of evil and its destruction had been sent to them, as they had known he would be.) Me, they meant me. (Now he would be taken to the holy place, to touch the spirit of the One, who would give them a sign.) And inside the matrix of the thought I saw flame. . . .

I fell back into the real world, and the others were still watching me.

“What is it-?”

“They’re gonna burn me!”

Mikah laughed. “That’s a switch!”

“Shut up, we don’t have time-
“ Joraleman
turned on him, his voice sharp. “Tell me what you found out,” he said, looking back at me.

I told him all that I understood of what I’d seen.

“And there’s a place filled with fire, I saw it, blue fire; it’s a holy place. They think I’m sent by their ancestors, they want me to go there and give them a sign. The hell I will. I’m not gonna be burned alive!”

“What’s going to happen to you if you won’t? What’s going to happen to us?”

I looked down. “I didn’t stop to find out. But it ain’t
no
happy ending, I guess. Humans are ‘desecrators.’”

Joraleman sighed. “Damn. . . . You said the flames were ‘blue’? You saw them? Give me some details.”

“They were coming right out of the walls, out of the floor. . . . Wait. I saw crystals, like telhassium crystals, everywhere-hundreds of them.”

“Like the lamp over there?” He pointed. I remembered thinking that it looked peculiar. Now I finally saw why. The lamp was a bowl shielding a piece of crystal, and it was the crystal that burned.

He went over and brought it down; he moved slowly, like moving was getting to be an effort. “That’s a telhassium crystal they’re ‘burning.’ Their ‘sacred stone’ . . . wouldn’t you know they’re religious fanatics. Putting a concentration of the crystals together causes a spontaneous deterioration. That’s why you put them in shielded containers when you dig them out. If that’s what makes this holy place shine, then maybe you’ve got a chance. What do you think? Is this it?”

“Yeah, it looks the same. But what difference does it make? It’s still fire.”

He held out the lamp. “Put your hand into it.”

“What do you think I am?” I jerked back.

He passed his own hand through the shimmering light. “Ever heard of ‘cold fire’? Most of its radiation isn’t released as heat. It won’t burn you. Here.” He held it out again.

I held my breath, pulled off a mitten, and stuck out my hand. I jerked it back again; but I hadn’t felt it beginning to burn, so I reached out one more time. After about half a minute my fingers started to go numb. I pulled my hand out of the fire and shook it hard.

Joraleman said, “What’s wrong?”

“My hand, it feels like
it’s
dead.” I put my mitten back on to warm my hand.

“How long have you been at the mines?” He was thinking, (Too long; my skin was blue, he didn’t know if I could take that much poison . . .)

“What do you mean, ‘poison’?” I said. “What’s going to happen to me?”

He looked at me, startled. “Oh. All right, then; since you already know. . . .” He looked away. “Telhassium ore is radioactive. The level of radiation is extremely low; but it builds up in the human body, like any cumulative poison, like mercury or arsenic. Exposure to dust poisons you slowly. But contact with this ‘cold fire’ poisons you
fast,
the radiation level is much higher. So what happens to you depends on how long you have to make the exposure. If you can cut it short, you should be all right. If you take too long it could kill you.” Joraleman wiped his face; he was sweating now in spite of the cold. I turned away from him, from the pressure of his tension and his pain, from the blue crystal shimmering in his hands.

“Hey.” Mikah caught at Joraleman’s jacket.

Joraleman winced and dropped the lamp. The crystal imploded, throwing blue embers across the floor. He put a hand over his ribs. “What is it?”

“What good is all this doing for us? You’ve been figuring out how the freak’s gonna save his neck, but he didn’t say anything about how it’s going to help us.
How about it?”

Joraleman looked at me. “He’s got a point.”

“Yeah.”
I turned back to them, feeling the windowless walls closing in on me. I pulled my mittens off and started to rub my fingers. They’d been frostbitten a couple of times back in Oldcity, and they ached when they got cold. “Well, they think I’m gonna work miracles. If they’re right, I’ll work one for all of us.” I pushed the corners of my mouth up.

Joraleman was getting one of the white pills out of the first-aid kit, and suddenly he reached in and pulled out something else. He caught my hand and slapped the thing down on it.

It stung. “Ow. . . . What was it?”

“A stimulant.
If anything will help
you, that
should.”

I hadn’t even said I could save him. “Thanks.”

“What about us, freak?” Mikah grabbed my wrist and one of my mittens dropped.

But I only looked away, feeling something-

The Hydrans were back.

“Never mind,” Joraleman said, staring at them. “Do what you can.”

I nodded. I turned again toward the door, and the two aliens were waiting for me. They put their hands on my arms. My mind started to flow into the sea of image, and I dropped the other mitten. My hands were cold. I felt a smile start to form on my mouth.

I heard Mikah say, “He wants to go with them,” but I didn’t, I didn’t. . . . I did.

All I could see was flame, blue into blue, burning. But I saw the Hydrans too, dozens of them. . . . Or maybe I only felt them, drifting, whispering against my mind; like dust against a wall, or sand, or snow, or wind. Or flame. . . .

And then I knew where I was, and why, and my mind was my own again. I stood inside the place that I’d seen in my mind, a shelter inside a greater cave of darkness. Its space was lined with blue crystals, piled with them, alive with their shivering light. I knew what it was I had to remember: that this wasn’t a place of ancestor spirits, that their god-self was superstitious garbage. That all I had to do was talk to nothing, make it good, and get it over with.

But maybe I’d been wrong. Because now the things I’d seen in the mind of the Hydrans came back to me, and somewhere in my own mind there was a . . . presence stirring. The thing that had hungered for the wholeness of their shared lives, that knew their loss for its own; that said they were right to welcome me, to have waited for me to come home. Because I was Hydran, this was my real heritage, and I should give thanks for my returning at last. . . . I went down on my knees and bowed my head, answering the stranger awake in my mind; and under my knees in the floor was the silver metal of a thing that had been placed there longer ago than anything I knew of. . . .

But as I kneeled there I felt the deadness creeping up my arms and legs, and I knew that if I stayed much longer I wouldn’t get up again. I pushed myself to my feet and took a step, and another. It felt like someone else was doing it. But I left the holy place, and my people were waiting for me. Only two of them were physically there with me, the man and the woman; the rest were watching me through their eyes. This time my mind didn’t lose its shape. (I did what you asked-) I thought, not knowing where to begin. My stomach knotted in a sudden cramp; I put my hands over it.

(A sign.
The cold fire. . . .) It formed in my mind with a kind of awful joy.

I thought they meant the pain, but then something caught my eyes. I looked down, and my hands were glowing blue. So was my face. I rubbed my hands on my pants; but then I remembered the dust from the mines and how it stained your skin. They’d been answered. I let my hands drop and wondered how long it would last.
Maybe too long.
(What happens now?), wondering what their answer would mean for me.

The answer came: (You are the promised. You are the
key,
you will begin to unlock the future.)

I licked my lips. My tongue felt thick inside my mouth. I thought, carefully, (What about the others?), picturing, (Joraleman and Mikah.)

(It was my wish that the outsiders be returned to their settlement?)

(Yes! Don’t hurt them. Let them go.) I was surprised that they actually cared about what I wanted.

(It would be as I asked.)

(And me?) Feeling a giddy rush of power, wondering how much I could ask of them. (I-)

They broke into my thought, (My guardians were waiting for me. I would be taken to them.)

I swallowed hard.
(My guardians?
Who? What-?)

But there was no answer. I let them lead me away from the shrine. There was a wide stair worn into the rock, as if they humbled themselves by coming to this place on foot. Behind us the blue glow leaped up the walls and was swallowed by the darkness. The stair spread out and down, to a ledge along the cavern wall, and the walls from there dropped away forever. There were things etched into the stone of the wall, strange symbols. I wondered what they said. The blue-silver glow behind and above us lit a path along the cliff face, along night’s edge. The thought of walking it made me feel sick. There was nothing below us but darkness, and a few sparks of blue light, far away, like stars. I was shivering with cold, and I wondered if even the Hydrans knew what was out there in the night. And then I felt myself sucked down again into the whirlpool of their mind. . . .

“. . . come on, kid, can you hear me? Try to concentrate.”

I was shaking; somebody was shaking me.
Joraleman.
Mikah.
“Damn, d-don’t shake me!” And I was sitting against the wall of the blue stone room. The shock of being
human,
and with humans again, left me numb.

“He’s glowing,” Mikah said.

I looked at my hands. “They think it’s a sign. . . . You’re free. They said they’ll take you back to town. It’s all right.”

“You mean that? We’re really free?”

I nodded.

The lines of fear and strain eased on Joraleman’s pale face. “Thank God.” He thought his prayers had been answered.

Let him think it if he wanted to. A wave of cramps hit me again, and I held my breath. “They’ll . . . be coming back for us.”

“How do you feel?” He was worried. He figured I was in bad shape; but I didn’t care. Right then nothing mattered, I felt too lousy.

“Hey, freak.” Mikah pulled at my arm; I turned my face away. “God, you look like hell.” Something about his voice sounded almost ashamed.

“I’m all right; I’m just tired. Don’t call me that.”

The Hydrans were back again; I didn’t have to look up to know it. I got up slowly and moved away from the others until I stood between them and the Hydrans.
(Is-it time?)

I thought the woman nodded; but she hadn’t moved. She was expecting me to come with them, promising me (the others would be returned to their settlement as I had asked.)

I glanced at Mikah and Joraleman. “They’ll take you back now.”

Joraleman said, “Wait a minute. Where are you going?”

I didn’t turn around.
“With them.”

“You can’t do that! . . . You need medical treatment.”

“I said I’m all right.”

“Are they getting you free from the mines? Let me go with you, please. I . . . . I can’t take it there much longer. I don’t want to die in that
hole
!” Mikah’s face was tense and blue; he was remembering what Joraleman had said about the ore.

“They’re not getting me free.” I shook my head. “They just said I’ve got to go with them. I got no choice. They said somebody wants me. I don’t know who, or-or what. Or even why.” I was afraid even to guess.

Mikah looked at my face and then he shut his eyes; his hands balled up into fists.

“If I knew I was going free, I’d let you come.” I raised my hands and made the truth-swearing oath.

“Sure.” He nodded. “What the hell, it was worth a try.” He glanced at Joraleman.

Joraleman didn’t look angry, like I’d thought he would. He said quietly, “What’s your name, bondie?”

“Cat.”

He put out his hand, and at first I didn’t understand. Then I wiped mine on my pants, but it was still glowing. He shook it anyway.

“Thanks. Good luck, Cat.”

I nodded. I could feel the Hydrans waiting restlessly, their mind pulling at me. I started toward them, just wanting to get it over with.

“Hey.”

I looked back one last time. Mikah made a funny motion. “Good luck. Cat.”