Psion (32 page)

And in the same instant, we felt the mind that gathered like smoke in the shared space of our own: Rubiy. The fragile bond shattered like its strands were made of glass, and suddenly we were two separate people staring at each other across the dark again. Our minds were clear; Rubiy’s contact had broken with the joining-spell. But we both knew that what really mattered was his reaching our minds at all. He knew what had happened.

“We did it-what he wanted you to do,” Jule whispered, looking down. “But you found my mind, not his.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.”

“But now he knows he can do it, too.”

“Not if I don’t let him. Not if you don’t go back. Stay here, Jule-you can make them believe the truth!”

“I can’t . . . I can’t leave Ardan there. If I don’t go back, Rubiy will kill him; he’ll know we’re betraying him.”

“But if you do . . .”

“I have to! I’ll find another way!” Her voice rose. “We’ve been making plans, Ardan thinks he’s found a way to get the-“

The bondie who’d been asleep a few beds away began to cough again. He sat up, wheezing, and looked over at us. “Hey, what the hell-“

Jule stiffened and turned like a wild thing, and then she was . . . gone.

My hand that had been holding hers closed over nothing. The other bondie was staring back across the empty room at me. I shut my eyes, with my fingers digging into the edge of the mattress, and tried to look like I was sleeping.

He said, “Hey?” a couple more times in the darkness, and then he lay down again. I heard him swear and gasp for breath. I touched his mind; it was knotted with misery and despair: (God, don’t let me go crazy, please, please, not crazy too. . . .) And because I’d caused it, I tried to use my mind to ease his fear, to help him forget, for a while. . . . I felt him drift down into sleep again.

I kept my eyes shut a while longer against the emptiness in my own mind-until I found Jule calling me, from far away, and heard her promise. . . .

With the new day, the medic on duty came into the ward again. I opened my eyes to watch him check out the other bondie. The bondie coughed and mumbled, halfway into delirium. The medic gave him a shot of something. I felt him thinking there wasn’t much point to it as he moved away again. I’d always heard it wasn’t easy to get into the infirmary-as long as you could move, you could work. And by the time you couldn’t, it was probably too late. This was a small room.

“How’s the back?” The medic was standing beside me now. He didn’t bother to look at my back, and I didn’t try to look at him.

“It hurts.” I hadn’t moved for hours, afraid even to breathe too deeply.

“That’s the point.” He left me food and water; on the floor where I couldn’t reach them. As he was walking away, I went into his mind and let him feel exactly how much I hurt. I heard him
yelp,
and the crash as he dropped something. I smiled, just a little.

The rest of that day was the longest day of my life. I tried to concentrate on Jule, on what had happened the night before and what Rubiy would want to do about it. But a red haze of pain filled up my mind until I couldn’t focus my thoughts enough even to worry much about it.

After what seemed like forever someone came into the ward again. I heard two voices this time, arguing; one of them was Joraleman’s.

“. . .
against
the rules!” the medic shouted.

“I don’t give a damn,” Joraleman said. He sounded like he was right beside the bed. I opened my eyes and saw his legs in rust-colored uniform pants. “I’ll do it myself.”

“You can’t treat a patient!” The medic came after him.

“Then you do it. Do your duty as a healer, for God’s sake. I’ll take the responsibility.” Joraleman’s voice was heavy with disgust. He pushed something at the medic, and sat down on the next bed, waiting.

The medic’s hands came at me with a blade, but before I could jerk back, he began to cut away the rags of my shirt with it. I lay still, biting my lip. He sprayed painkiller on my back, and then something else that covered the burns like a soft skin.

I took a deep breath, and another, without feeling the pain nail me to the cot. Then I moved one numb arm, slowly, stretching it out, and the other one.

“Give it a chance to set,” the medic said. “And don’t make a lot of sudden moves. Not that you’re going anywhere.” He gave the chain around my leg a tug. “That’s all I can do for him,” to Joraleman. He left the room.

“How are you feeling?” Joraleman asked me.

“Better’n I was five minutes ago.” I tried to grin.

He smiled, but it was weak. “I can do this much for you, Cat.” His big hands twisted together in the space between his knees. “But that’s all I can do. I tried to get a hearing today, but . . .” His hands spread in a shrug.
“Nothing.”

I nodded, not even surprised. “What did they say?”

“That I’ve gone soft.” He laughed once, his eyes shut against seeing my back.

“What’re you doin’ out here, anyway, Joraleman?”

He opened his eyes.
“My job.
I’m just another bureaucrat, putting in my time until transfer. The hardship pay is excellent, if I finish my tour. And my time’s almost up.” He sighed. “It’s not like this everywhere.”

“Yeah, sure.”
I looked at my wrist, at the bond tag. “How much do I owe on my contract now?”

He read a number off my tag, and did something with the computer remote on his belt. “Still close to five thousand credits.”

“Five thousand . . . still?” I whispered.
“Jeezu.
I
never been
worth more’n fifty in my whole life.”

He didn’t say anything. The bondie in the other bed started to cough.

I pulled myself to the edge of the cot and reached down for the water and food. My hands were swollen and clumsy; he helped me feed myself. Then he got up again. “I’ve got to get back to work. But I’ll try again tomorrow. If I can get in to see Tanake, he might be more willing to listen. . . .”

“I hope you got that much time left.”

He looked back at me, startled into a frown. But he only shook his head and went out of the room.

The other bondie was coughing again. When he stopped, he tried to push himself up. He said, “When I was-
“ and
then he collapsed, unconscious, and I never found out what he was trying to say to me.

I lay then and waited until night came again in the civilized levels of the complex. Then I let my mind loose into the nameless sea, searching for Jule. And she answered me at last, like she’d promised me she would. Everything was still all right. I caught the bright ribbon of her thought and fused it to my own.

Her mind wove into mine and I felt the joining begin. But this time she wasn’t alone. The cord of someone else’s thought wrapped itself around the strands of hers, and as her mind joined with mine, the joining was tripled. Before I could shape the hundred questions crowded into my brain, or even stop what was happening, the bright warmth that had begun inside me turned white-hot. Reality wrenched itself apart inside my head, the space behind my eyes filled with starbursts. And then the contact tore again, the way it had the first time.

Only this time it wasn’t just Jule standing by me when my eyes cleared. Rubiy was with her, and I knew then that time had finally run out for us. Jule’s face was full of quiet desperation; Rubiy’s burned with triumph. It throbbed inside me like the blood in my veins, and all I could think about suddenly was Cortelyou’s heart stopping. . . .

Jule kneeled down beside me. Her mind touched me softly; she forced everything out of her own thoughts but her concern for me.

Rubiy’s mind came down out of the stars as he looked at us.
(Cat!)
In the darkness his grinning face looked like a death’s-head. He focused his triumph, force-feeding me the giddy electric shock of his exultation until I had to put up a wall to protect myself. I lost Jule’s contact in static. He showed me my share in it all, my power, his approval, his pride: (Didn’t I tell you, when the time came, you would find the need, and make the joining? Even if it hadn’t worked out exactly the way he’d planned.)

Find the need. Suddenly I remembered what had made me find the need, just the way he’d promised. Pain gnawed my blistered back as I pushed up onto an elbow. He’d known-he’d known what would happen to me. (Thanks for bein’ so sure.) I couldn’t hide the anger, didn’t even want to.

His mind flashed surprise and confusion, before it shut off like a switch. He didn’t know why I felt angry, why I resented it. (You suffered: You paid a small price for a great reward. We’ve all made sacrifices to reach this goal; only a fool would whine about them. Pain is nothing-learn to ignore it.) Like he’d learned to ignore pain, and every other shred of human feeling he’d been born with.

I didn’t try to answer. I glanced at Jule, standing with her fists clenched and her mouth pressed tight. She was looking at the chain that held me on the cot.

(Then you begin to understand.) I felt his annoyance; I was spoiling the pure pleasure of his moment of victory. (You’ll understand everything, when we’re through. You’ll know then that I’m right.) He turned back to Jule. (But first we have to complete our business with the Federation. The maintenance systems control center is on this level of the complex. We should be able to reach it directly from here.) He began to move away. Jule started after him, moving like she was stepping onto a tightrope.

(Wait!) I threw it into his mind. He stopped. (I want to come with you. Don’t leave me here. I don’t want to be like this, helpless, when it happens.) I wore my best victim face, hoping he could see it. (They hate psions.)

He frowned. (You’ll be safe where you are. You’d only get in our way. I’ll come back for you-)

(I’m fine!) Somehow I sat up, holding my breath. I was glad I didn’t have to lie out loud. (Like you said, I can learn to ignore pain. I want to be there when-when you take this place over for good.) I reached out to him, letting my swollen hand tremble a little.

His frown faded.

I put one foot on the floor; the chain on the other leg rattled. I kept my eyes on him, pleading, waiting, praying. . . .

He reached over and put his hand on my leg, let it slide down to cover the metal cuff. I felt the power focus in his mind. . . . The cuff fell open, and I was free. I sat gaping at it for a minute before I finally got up off the cot. The thought hit me that my whole life would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if I’d only been born a teek instead of a ‘path. I laughed at the irony, without really meaning to.

Jule and Rubiy were both wearing miners’ uniforms, because the halls outside would be monitored. They were both armed. Jule’s hair was hidden under a security guard’s helmet; she was tall and
thin
enough to pass for a man. Rubiy took off his jacket and helped me into it. Even with the bandageskin the medic had put on my back, I thought the pain when it settled on my shoulders was going to be more than I could take. But I didn’t have any choice, and so I took it anyway. I sealed the jacket up the front, my hands and face wet with sweat. Jule watched my fingers, her eyes full of apology and relief. Neither of us alone could stop him, but together we still had half a chance.

I glanced at the other bondie as we left the ward. He didn’t even stir; his mind was down somewhere deeper than sleep. I wasn’t sure whether he was lucky or not.

Moving through the halls was no problem-because nobody here expected any problems, the security before you got this far was too good. We reached the systems center without anyone questioning us. When we got there, the entrance was sealed by an identity lock. Rubiy set his hand against the plate like he really expected it to open. He focused his psi against it, like he had with my cuff, and in a few seconds it hummed
open
. I glanced at Jule; a kind of dazed awe filled her mind. I wondered if Siebeling had ever even thought about using his Gift that way.

We went inside. The lights came up as we entered a room filled with more monitors and terminals and screens than I’d ever imagined seeing at one time. If living in Oldcity had been living like a parasite in the guts of some alien being, this was like being a virus inside a brain. No one was watching over it-it kept its own night watch, monitored its own systems, like a sleeping body. And Rubiy had come here to infect it. . . . And we’d come here to stop him. I was hardly even thinking about my back now.

Rubiy moved along the walls, forgetting us as he looked up and down the instrument banks. Jule touched her stungun, looked a question at me, not letting it form in her conscious mind. I glanced at the gun Rubiy was wearing, and back at hers. Jule and I had to make any move we tried at the same time. Our only chance to take him by surprise and survive would be if we could split his attention, hoping one of us could put him out before he could tear open our defenses and kill us. I raised a hand, (Wait), and let myself drift across the room. Rubiy was calling up information on a terminal. He finished as I stopped beside him, and looked up at me, pulling a headset off.

I managed a smile. “How’s it goin’?”

“Perfectly.”
He reached into his jacket, and pulled out something sealed in shiny packets.
“Now for the final step.”
I followed him, as he moved to another section of instruments and began to feel his way over a touchboard.