Psych Ward Zombies (14 page)

Dave felt Janet’s soft lips cover his. Her hand reached around and caressed the back of his head. He was lying on a bed of white linen, dressed in a stark white robe. Janet’s hair ruffled softly in the gentle breeze, cascading onto her smooth bare shoulders. Everything seemed to glow with an inner radiance. Dave lay on his back, enjoying the feeling of Paradise. He was no longer in a hurry, for he now had the opportunity to savor every single moment of eternity.

“Heaven,” he thought. “I made it.”

He felt Janet pushing against his chest in a rhythmic manner.

“That’s strange.” His own voice echoed in his head slightly. “But I think I like it.”

He reached out with his hand and placed it around Janet, drawing her in for a slow, passionate kiss. A sensation of warmth flowed from his mouth and all around him. He looked into Janet’s lovely eyes. Their gaze locked. Dave’s eyes projected beams of affection and adoration. Janet’s eyes conveyed a feeling of—

Disgust?

Janet pushed Dave away and desperately wiped at her mouth with her hand. The glowing radiance faded into a soft red hue. The brilliant whiteness was replaced by bland colors and haze of smoky air.

Dave coughed, aware of having something in his mouth. His throat burned, and he tasted stomach acid. He felt like he had just vomited.

“My God, you puked in my mouth,” Janet gagged. She had been kneeling beside Dave on the ground, both of them drenched with dirty water.

Dave rolled onto his side and looked around. He saw the demolished Eldemere and the old hospital that was still burning. He remembered being inside the burning building, and running through the darkness. Then he recalled falling into some kind of water
.

“What? What are you
...?” He started to ask what had happened, but then the realization sunk into his brain like a meat cleaver.

“Yes, dummy. I just saved you from drowning,” Janet said, still spitting chunks of Dave’s lunch from her mouth. “I was doing CPR, and you puked in my mouth!” She stood up and limped away.

He really didn’t know what to say. “Sorry” did not seem to cut it, and Hallmark did not make a card for this sort of occasion.

“Hey, people throw up doing CPR all the time.
It wasn’t on purpose,” he argued. Janet ignored him, so Dave decided to change the subject.

“How did we get out here?” he asked.

Janet turned back to Dave, though she kept her distance. “We were running down the tunnel and we fell into some sort of water cistern, I think. You were under the water for a long time, but I pulled you out.”

“I don’t remember any of this,” Dave broke in.

“No, you were unconscious. Anyway, the rats were still running by us, so I swam over to where they were going. They were all running out through a drainage culvert.” Janet pointed to a concrete conduit, roughly 24 inches wide, extending from the ground. She continued, “It was a tight squeeze, but I could see light at the end. I dragged you all the way out here and started doing CPR. I think you may have been dead for a minute, Doc.”

“Holy crap! Thanks for saving me,” Dave said, genuinely grateful to be alive.

“No sweat,” Janet replied, sitting next to Dave. “You helped me get away from the zombies, so you definitely saved me too.” The realization that Dave had saved her life helped quell her anger about the vomit incident. She was willing to forgive, although she would probably never be able to forget.

Dave noticed that employees from the day shift were starting to arrive in the parking lot. Some wandered around the area, unable to comprehend the scene. Others were trying unsuccessfully to get a signal on their cell phones to call for help. A man dressed in a maintenance uniform ran up to Dave and Janet. His name tag said “Bob”.

“Are you guys okay? What the hell happened here?” he asked.

Dave looked to his accomplice and then turned back to Bob. “I have no idea. The building just blew up.” That part was true. Dave did not know why the hospital had exploded.

“Are there any other survivors?”

The words “I hope not” slipped from Dave’s mouth before he could stop them. Bob gave him a puzzled look.

“I mean, I hope no one else was hurt,” Dave corrected. “It sure looks bad though. Let me know if you find anyone else.”

Bob took a long look around. It struck him as odd that Dave and Janet were soaked, yet there was no visible water around. “Uh, have you guys been swimming?”

Janet looked at their wet clothes and made up a weak lie. “We were afraid of catching fire, so we crawled into that culvert over there.”

The maintenance man glanced at the pipe and grimaced. “Y’all might want to get cleaned up. That leads to the septic tank for the old building.”

Dave would have vomited if he had not already done so just a few minutes earlier. The sour taste in his mouth and throat seemed to make more sense now. Janet shut her eyes and practiced some meditative breathing.

Bob looked down at the shoes Dave was wearing, the ones that had been scavenged from Mert’s corpse earlier in the evening. He started to say something but stopped himself. The man simply gave the couple another wary glance, turned, and wandered off in search of other casualties. Meanwhile, Dave’s face wrinkled into a worried expression.

“Hey, Janet,” he said hesitantly. “Did you notice if all the kids went inside the old hospital?”

She pondered the question for a moment before replying. “I’m not sure. Once they started chasing me, I lost track of who went where.” She paused again, looking at the ground. “But I think they were all in there.”

They sat silently on the grass, watching as the old building was consumed by the flames. Occasionally, a section of the building would collapse into the blaze and they would stare at the area, half expecting some undead third grader to emerge from the fiery rubble. Janet wept for the children and for her friends who had died during the night.

Suddenly, her sobbing subsided and a small giggle emerged.
Turning to Dave, she said, “Well Doc, I guess now you’ll get your wish. Feel free piss on the hospital’s ashes.”

“Y’know, I think I just might do that,’ Dave replied
, grinning.

Within a half hour, sirens could be heard in the distance. Although no one at the scene was able to communicate with the nearest town, eventually fire and police departments became aware of the immense plume of smoke. The firefighters arrived with a half dozen trucks, but made no attempt to extinguish the old hospital building. It had been slated for demolition, was assumed to be abandoned, and was not worth risking the firefighters’ lives. In addition, the county would save millions of dollars in demolition costs by just letting it burn
.

Since Dave and Janet were the only living witnesses to what happened, they were interviewed extensively by the police. Initially their plan was to be honest and to tell the police everything they knew. However, then they realized they had no real proof of what had happened and would certainly be considered suspects in numerous deaths if they started blaming “zombies”. Dave’s only evidence was a squished doughnut that presumably contained poison. Even if the doughnut could be analyzed and the toxin identified, he would appear guilty merely by possessing it.

Janet was interviewed first. She claimed to have been taking a walk outside on her break when the building blew up. She denied hearing or seeing anything unusual before the blast. Everything had been normal - just another quiet night at the hospital. When the blast occurred, she was knocked over a curb and hurt her ankle.

When Dave was interviewed, he just pointed to the wounds on his head and mumbled the word “concussion”. He said he had no memory of the night’s events. The police did not feel comfortable interrogating a man with a head injury, so they quickly sent him over to an ambulance to be checked out by the paramedics. With all the smoke and falling ash, no one paid much attention to the pair’s muddy, smelly clothes. Everything was covered in dirt and soot anyway.

The old hospital building burned so intensely that no evidence or bodies were ever recovered from its ashes. Dozens of burned and mangled bodies were recovered from the explosion site of the new hospital building. However, the extensive damage to the bodies made it impossible to tell that anyone had ever been turned into a zombie.

The county blamed Eldemere’s construction contractor for negligence in installing the natural gas line. Everything was mired in lawsuits for years, and eventually it was settled out of court. The details of the settlement were kept private, but hundreds of millions of dollars were paid out to the victims’ families. Janet and Dave could have cashed in by claiming damages for emotional distress. Janet, however, was already filthy rich and Dave just wanted to put the whole ordeal behind him
.

The Land Cruiser pulled up in front of an old warehouse and parked by the entrance. Dave’s keys had been lost in the explosion a month earlier, but he had kept a spare set at home. The broken windows in the truck had now been replaced, but the body still bore dents and scuffs from the flying debris. There were a few bullet holes as well. The insurance company would probably want to total the truck, so Dave decided to just live with the dents.

He exited the vehicle and walked to the door of the warehouse. A large key ring held the various keys to the building, and Dave soon had the door open. He stepped inside, fumbling in the darkness to find a light switch. The lights flicked on, as a sharp clang from the switch echoed through the mostly empty building. A small office was located in one of the front corners of the building. It was currently the only walled space, leaving the rest of the warehouse completely open.

Dave used his key ring to enter the office and hung his jacket on the back of the door. Inside the office sat a desk, a swiveling office chair, and a large table. A small safe was bolted to the floor. The furniture was old and shabby, looking like it had been snatched from the curbside on trash collection day. The office was very spartan, but Dave did not mind. The space was intended for work, not lounging, and today he was here to get things done.

The morning sun was just emerging over the horizon, but Dave had risen early and driven to the warehouse in the darkness. He looked forward to coming here in the mornings, and in the past week he had been here late into the evenings too. He remembered the stress and angst he had at the hospital. That was all gone now. He had a purpose. He was happy.

He had signed the lease on the building about 10 days prior. The following week had been spent cleaning the place up and getting things fixed. The dust had now settled and Dave had a chance to make plans. He walked over to the table, where a large sheet of white paper was laid out. The paper was covered in diagrams and writing, looking almost like a blueprint. At the top were written the words “Zombie Hospital”.

There was a knock at the door of the warehouse. Dave peeked out the office window and saw a delivery van outside. He left the office and opened the front warehouse door. A delivery driver stood by the door, balancing a refrigerator-sized crate on a hand truck
.

“I’ve got a delivery for a Mr. Hexer,” he said, holding up a clipboard with his free hand
.

Dave responded, “That’s me.” He reached
up for the clipboard and signed for the crate.

The delivery driver took the clipboard back and stuck it beneath his arm. He tipped the hand truck back slightly in order to move it. “You want this out here, or in the building?”

“In the building, please,” Dave replied. “Just inside the door is fine.”

As the man rolled the crate into the warehouse, he asked, “This crate is pretty big, but it’s not heavy. Mind if I ask what’s inside?”

Dave smiled. “Sure. It’s a zombie.”

The delivery driver looked sideways at Dave, unsure if Dave were being funny or sarcastic. His job was hard enough without smart-aleck customers. Dave read the look and spoke up before the man could get too upset.

“No, seriously, it’s a zombie. I’m creating a haunted attraction – you know, what some people call a ‘haunted house’. This is a robotic zombie I’ll be using to scare people.”

Despite the explanation, the man seemed skeptical. “A robot, huh? Like R2-D2 or something?”

“Well, actually, it’s called an animatronic. Basically, it’s a life-like mannequin that moves around when you trigger it with a switch. Let me show you.”

The man placed the crate on the floor and pulled his hand truck from underneath. Dave grabbed a claw hammer from a desk drawer in the office and proceeded to pry the crate open. He removed the top of the crate and then pried the front panel off. A human-shaped metal framework was bolted to the inside of the crate. A few wires and hoses were coiled at the base.

The delivery driver was unimpressed. “I don’t know much about zombies, but that doesn’t look like much to me. It doesn’t even have a head.”

Dave held up his index finger and smiled. He trotted over to the office and grabbed a smaller cardboard box. From the box, he pulled a detailed replica of a human head. It was very realistic, but it appeared rotted and ghastly. Long black hair flowed down the back of the head
.

“I made it myself,” Dave said, proudly
holding the disembodied head aloft.

The man examined the fake zombie and seemed to puzzle over the head Dave had created. “Hmmm, that looks like somebody I know.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Wait, I know. Um, that Luther Crowley guy from the movies?”

Dave grinned innocently but did not say anything. The man continued, “Whatever happened to that guy anyway? You never hear about him anymore.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Dave replied. “I don’t really follow celebrities.”

He thanked the man for the delivery and walked him to the door. As the delivery truck drove away, Janet pulled up in a shiny new Porsche Boxster. The top was down and she had her music playing loud enough to hear a block away.

“Whoa,” Dave exclaimed. “You got a new car!”

Janet climbed out of the low-slung sports car. She remarked casually, “What? This old thing?”

Dave laughed and walked over to admire the car. Janet lifted a pair of crutches from behind the seat. She was still in a leg cast and required the crutches to get around
.

“The Miata was toast,” she said. “I figured life is short, so I upgraded to something a little nicer. I had to get the automatic transmission because of my ankle though.”

The two went inside the building and lingered in the office. Janet and Dave were now business partners in the haunted attraction industry. Each had chosen to leave their medical careers and try something different. Since Janet had always wanted to be an actress, she decided to achieve that dream by acting in a haunted house. Dave had known for a long time that he disliked psychiatry, and the events at Eldemere were a perfectly-timed catalyst to make a career change.

Their current conversation focused on ideas for the haunted attraction. Dave showed her the floor plans he had drawn up, and they discussed marketing strategy. The town had a number of haunted attractions already, so Dave and Janet would need some way to stand out from the competition. They discussed unique scare tactics, expensive props, and ways to attract customers
.

“I’ve been thinking,” Dave said. “I believe you and I share a unique experience that no other haunted
attraction owner has.”

“True,” Janet replied. “That’s why we’re doing the zombie theme. No one else knows more about zombies than we do.” She raised her hand and slapped Dave a high-five
.

Dave’s face, however, maintained a serious expression. He turned and walked over to the safe. He spun the dial several times and twisted the handle. The door swung open with a clunk. Inside the safe was a rubber glove wrapped around the crumbling remains of a doughnut.

Dave turned back to Janet and held up the doughnut.

“I think we can take it one step further,” he said. “We can have something completely unique and mind-blowing.”

Janet was stunned. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes, Janet. We can have real zombies.
”