PullMyHair (11 page)

“Maybe.”

“Doesn’t Karina volunteer at Girls Unlimited on Saturday
mornings?” He wouldn’t let it go.

“Yes, she does. She constantly asks me to come down with
her. To volunteer. I just never felt comfortable doing that. I’m not sure I’m
ready yet,” she admitted with a nervous laugh.

“You’ll never get completely beyond this until you do,
Liza,” was all that he said.

They lay together quietly for a bit longer until she spoke
up. “And what about you Greg?”

“What about me?” he asked innocently.

“Don’t make me hurt you! You know what I’m talking about.”

“I will do any and everything possible to make this marriage
a success. If that means less hours at work, that’s what I’ll do. If that means
more time spent eating you out…damn it, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to
do! I’m there, I’m willing and able,” he promised, making her laugh.

Although he laughed and made light of it, he was committed
to his wife. He would always put her happiness first from now on. He just needed
for her to come to complete resolution about her past. Once she did that, they
were home free.

“I’m serious, Greg,” she said on a soft laugh.

“I am too. I’m also serious about us making a baby. I think
it’s time, don’t you?”

For once the thought didn’t scare the crap out of her. It
actually held a certain appeal to her. “Maybe,” she said and smiled in the
dark.

“But not until you’re ready. I don’t want to do it halfway.
When you’re completely ready, with no reservations, we’ll do it. I just don’t
want you to close up on me again. Never be afraid to talk to me. Is that fair?”
he asked.

Liza was surprised at what he said. She knew how badly he
wanted a child. Of late, that had been the dominant theme in the conversation
for them. No matter how hard she tried to avoid the subject.

“That’s more than fair,” she said and placed both hands over
his thick arms, as they lay in front of her, crossed over her breasts.

“Good. Then, I’m fine with the wait. As long as you don’t
shut down on me,” he said around a yawn as he pulled her tighter against his
body.

Within moments she felt the even rise and fall of his chest,
signaling he’d fallen into sleep. Before she too fell into a deep sleep, she
thought about everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours.

Not only had her mother called her husband and told him
things Liza had never disclosed, but she’d also begged for money. Despite
Greg’s understanding, Liza would be lying to herself if she said the sting of
embarrassment wasn’t still there when she thought about it. Her earlier
meltdown had helped to release
some
of the embarrassment, but as she
closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep, she didn’t even try to hold back
the tears of shame.

“Karina needs a ride to Girls Unlimited today. Cooper is
having a stereo installed in her new car and it would be easier for her if she
could catch a ride down there and he then could pick her up. Otherwise, she’ll
miss volunteering today,” Liza said to Greg as he stepped out of the shower and
toweled himself dry. “She needs to be there by ten o’clock this morning.
They’re having an open forum for the girls, some type of summit they’re
preparing for. I’m not sure of the details, but Kari doesn’t want to miss it.”

He walked over to her as she was applying her makeup and
bent his head to the crook of her neck and placed a warm kiss there. “Why don’t
you take her? It’ll be fun,” he said as he moved away to walk to his drawer and
remove his underclothes. “By the time you come back, I’ll be done with my work
for the morning and we can drive to the lake and be there by late afternoon,”
he said as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled socks onto his feet.

Since their talk on Wednesday, a new vibrancy had entered
their relationship. Greg admitted to her that he was far from being perfect. He
wasn’t guiltless in the way their marriage had spiraled into a state of no
communication, hidden truths and, according to Liza, bland sex. That part
fucked with his mind a bit, but it was the truth. He’d been so caught up in
trying to give her what she wanted materialistically, he’d neglected the other
parts of the relationship that were needed to make their marriage good.

He’d allowed her to keep a part of herself away from him.
He’d not even bothered to dig deep and wonder why she’d skated the issue of her
parents. He hadn’t even really known that her parents had never been married.
Something as important as that, Liza felt she needed to lie to him about. She
thought he’d see her as less than, somehow, if she told him the truth.

He sighed.

They still had things to work through. But the last week had
been a breakthrough for them.

He didn’t want to press her and demand that she tell him
everything all at once. He’d negotiated many times in his law practice and knew
how easy it was to have someone totally shut down and cease all communication.
Damned if he wanted that to happen. He was ready for the next step in their
marriage; children. They couldn’t go there without being on the same page.

Liza needed to fully open up, not just to him, but more
importantly she had to stop lying to herself. She had to quit being embarrassed
of a past she had no control over.

“Are you saying take her…and stay?” she asked as she paused
in the middle of applying her mascara to stare at him.

“Sure, why not? Sounds like a great way to spend the
morning, Li,” Greg was carefully nonchalant in his response. He didn’t want her
to suspect what he’d done.

Last night when Karina called and Liza had been in the
shower, he’d used the opportunity to talk privately with her. He had asked if
she had plans to volunteer on Saturday as she normally did. Karina told him
that she wanted to, but might have to miss because her husband insisted on
installing her stereo in her car and his own vehicle was being serviced Saturday
morning as well. That had given Greg the opportunity he needed to suggest to
Karina that she ask Liza to take her to Girls Unlimited.

But, he hadn’t fooled Karina. She’d asked him point blank
what he was up to and he’d confessed that he had ulterior motives and thought
the experience would help his wife.

He hadn’t had to say anything more. Karina fell in line with
his suggestions and eagerly agreed to ask her friend to drive her to the
recreation center.

Now the trick was convincing Liza to not only drive Karina
there, but to stay.

“Ummm. I don’t know, Greg. I’m not sure if that’s something
I really want to do,” she said and turned back around to face her mirror. He
saw the way she titled her head to the side just slightly and pooched her lips
out, the way she did when she was thinking about something.

Usually it made him randy as hell to see her stick her
pretty full lips out like that. But this time, he was concentrating more on
hoping she’d take the bait he and Karina had set up.

His baby needed to come to terms with a few things. She
wasn’t going to do it by refusing to confront some key issues from her past.
Maybe she’d see that she’d built them up into something bigger than they were.

Maybe they were still big and just as ugly as they were when
she was a child. But she’d never know unless she confronted them.

“It’s up to you, babe. But if nothing else, you’ll be able
to give Kari a ride down there and Coop can pick her up,” he smiled and kissed
her as he pulled his jacket on his shoulders.

“Yes, I can do that, I suppose.”

Greg smiled inside when she looked at him carefully. His
wife wasn’t anybody’s fool. He carefully kept his face cheerfully blank as he
ushered her out of their bedroom and down the staircase.

* * * * *

“Greg, may I speak with you for a minute?”

“Sure, Renita. Come on in,” Greg glanced over at his
assistant as she stood in the doorway.

He noticed right away how she was rubbing her hands down the
smooth knee-length, slim fitting dark skirt. When she noticed his eyes on her
hands she immediately stopped the nervous smoothing and walked inside his
office.

“I’ve been doing some thinking and I believe that it’s time
for me to make some changes,” she started out.

“Please, Renita, have a seat.” Greg could tell this was
something serious. He motioned for her to take a seat in one of the leather
chairs that faced his desk. She smiled and gracefully sat in the chair, before
folding her hands in her lap.

She looked like a nervous schoolgirl sitting there in the
oversized chair, clenching and releasing her hands. “Renita, is everything
okay?”

“Oh…yes. Everything’s fine, Greg.”

She seemed at a loss for words, which was unusual for
Renita. She was reserved and had a tendency to be selective with her words. She
never spoke more than was necessary to get her point across. However, she
seemed more to be more hesitant than reticent this morning. He didn’t say
anything, just waited for her to speak.

“I think that, for a long time, I had false hopes,” she
began and although her voice was hesitant, there was a clear determination in
both it and the directness of her gaze.

“False hopes about what?”

“To be honest…that there could be something between us,” she
stated boldly. “Something beyond our professional relationship.”

“Did I ever give you the impression of that, Renita?” Greg
was suddenly apprehensive. Maybe his disclosure earlier regarding his
relationship with Liza had been out of line. Maybe he’d crossed some invisible
barrier that he shouldn’t have with her.

“No. It wasn’t you, Greg. It was all me.” The laugh that she
uttered was totally without humor. When she suddenly stood from the chair and
walked away from the desk toward one of his large bay windows, Greg felt a
slight apprehension in his gut.

“What’s going on, Renita? You can tell me. Please do, I’m a
bit in the dark about this.”

“I’ve been in love with you since the first time I
interviewed with you and I’ve decided to quit. I don’t think it’s a good idea
for me to work here anymore,” she admitted bluntly turning around to face him,
her light amber-colored eyes sparking with a look akin to relief.

Renita felt crazy and nervous, yet at the same time, she
felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders just by uttering the
words to him. Out loud. With no care for the consequences.

She knew that Greg loved Liza. She had no doubt in her mind,
despite the rocky time they’d been suffering lately. When he’d first started
working later and longer hours, Renita had secretly cheered, hoping against
hope, although she knew it was wrong, that one of those late night sessions
working side by side, would turn into something more than working on legal
briefs.

She wanted to work on briefs all right, but not those of the
legal variety…she wanted what was inside
his
briefs.

She’d never been overt in her desire to let him know that
she was interested. But she did want him. He was everything she wanted in a
man. Fine, sexy as hell, educated, had plenty of money and was…stable.

He was everything her parents would love in a man for her.
One they despaired she’d ever be able to “catch”. Especially her mother. Elena
Dexter-Nash openly scorned and despaired of her youngest daughter ever finding
a man who’d overlook her daughter’
indiscretion
of the past.

But, despite everything, she’d never been able to go for it
and pursue Greg.

For one reason she didn’t picture herself as the happy
hooker busting up marriages. It just wasn’t her thing. For another, she had
fought long and hard to change her image. To be the upstanding woman that her
parents wanted…needed for her to be.

She wasn’t that reckless girl anymore. The one who everyone
thought was selfish and only thought of herself. Drinking and partying and to
hell with the rest. The chick who had no future, no goals, no plans. Headed to
nowhere-land on the express train, as her mother so bluntly put it. The one
who’d gotten pregnant at sixteen years old…

“Don’t worry, Greg. I’m not going to seduce you…”

“Try and seduce me, you mean…”

She glanced at him from beneath lowered lids and smiled, but
let it go. “
Try
and seduce you,” she modified the statement. “I think,
however, it would be in my best interest to give you two weeks notice. I’ve
given it quite a bit of thought. I think the time has come.”

“Renita, you’re a wonderful assistant as well as an amazing
paralegal. I would be lying if I said I want you to go,” he said and the
sincerity in his voice made her heart lurch. If only…

“What about your parents? I know that your parents have
conditions in order to help you financially so that you can finish law school,
and this job was one of them. What will you do?” he interrupted her thoughts.

Greg knew some of her history. He knew what was on paper;
that she’d gotten into some legal trouble as both a teenager and young adult,
and that she had served time in a juvenile detention hall.

He knew that she’d eventually gone to college and that her
parents had placed conditions on helping her financially. This job was one of
the conditions.

What he didn’t know was that she had to maintain the job in
order to
prove
her worthiness to them. To prove she was responsible
enough and they’d continue to pay for school and would pay back the student
loans she’d taken out to pay for undergraduate school.

They’d paid once for school and she’d screwed up, as her
parents liked to remind her. The second time around, she had to pay for it, or
not go. They’d taken “pity” on her and said they’d pay her loans back, as well
as the night courses for her law degree as long as she kept her act together.

As long as she didn’t embarrass them again.

Renita had gritted her teeth together and accepted their
handout.

“I’ll deal with that…and them, when the time comes.
Sometimes you do what you have to in order to maintain your sanity,” she said
slowly.

There was silence as they both thought about her words. Greg
spoke into the silence. “What will you do? Do you have another job lined up?”

She laughed. “Actually, I do. The Holt brothers have offered
me a position in their agency,” she said.

“Oh really? Is that why Gaynor Holt was hanging around when
we drew up his contract? To steal you away from me?” Although Greg said it
laughingly, Renita heard the underlying masculine irritation.

Men were all alike. They may not want your ass, but they
damn sure acted strange when another one did.

“You can’t steal something that doesn’t belong to another.”

“When do you start with him?” He didn’t comment on her
choice of words.

“That all depends on you. I want to be fair and give you
enough time to find my replacement and I’ll train him or her. Gaynor knows
this. I told him I wouldn’t leave you high and dry.”

“Thanks, Renita.” Greg stood from his chair and walked over
and stood tall and lean in front of her. She felt a bit nervous with the way he
just stared at her and even more nervous when he took both of her hands in one
of his big strong hands.

“I love you too, Renita, you’re a good woman. I hope Gaynor
knows what he’s getting in you. There aren’t too many like you,” he said and
with a half-smile leaned down to hug her.

She knew the love he spoke of was not of the romantic
variety, but she treasured it just the same.

“Yeah…I sure do. Know exactly what I’m getting with Ms.
Nash,” the scratchy deep voice interrupted her just as she was going to reply
back to Greg.

She broke away from him and almost tripped over her high
heels in her haste to step out of Greg’s loose embrace. She felt her face burn
and a queasy feeling settle in the pit of her stomach when she heard the voice
and turned around to see the casual way Gaynor Holt leaned just inside the
doorway.

“Good, because Renita is worth her weight in gold. Remember
that, Holt.”

“Don’t worry
Colburn
,” Gaynor said with studied
casualness and a very discernible bite in his voice. “She’ll be in good hands.
I’ll take good care of her,” he said as he walked over to them and casually, as
though he had every right in the world, removed Renita from the loose confines
of Greg’s arms.

Renita glanced from Gaynor to Greg and didn’t understand the
smile that played around the corners of Greg’s mouth with the exchange between
her current employer and her future one.

Neither did she understand…or
want
to understand why
just the sight of Gaynor, dressed in his standard uniform of t-shirt, worn
jeans and scruffy yellow hiking boots had her clenching her legs together to
stem the embarrassing wetness that had suddenly eased into her panties.