Pulse of Heroes (50 page)

“Yes. All of them,” he answered, not showing
an ounce of emotion. Michelle wanted to know how come there weren’t
any photographs with people in them, and Haden told her plainly
that people didn’t really interest him.

“When you see an image of a person it’s like
a lie because it’s not really them… but when I look at that tree or
that rock they have no secrets, and everyone in this world has
secrets.”

“Hmm, ok that’s a little strange,” she said
after a while.

“What’s so strange about that?” he asked,
sounding a little uncomfortable. “I’m sure you have your own
secrets like everybody else.” Michelle thought about her secret and
her heart hurt. But she pushed the feeling away by focusing on the
fact that she was in the company of a gorgeous and talented guy, so
things couldn’t be all that bad.

“And are you the only one without secrets?”
she asked with a sly smile.

“I’m an open book. Ask me anything.” Haden
smiled back. Michelle thought for a while and asked him why he was
so mean to Marika. He told her that he wasn’t being mean, just
honest.

“Just because I might have had her once
doesn’t mean I want her again.” Michelle’s face was instantly on
fire and she turned away from him. That was a little too honest
even for her. Well that sealed it; she would never think of him as
potential for anything.

As Haden backed the Audi out of its parking
space he asked Michelle how come she didn’t have a boyfriend with
her, a question that made her shrink inside her skin a little. She
answered with a question, “How do you know that?” Haden told her
that Vilna had told him while they were back at the house. “Why
would she tell you something so personal like that out of the
blue?” Michelle asked, feeling a little miffed.

“Because I asked her,” Haden replied without
an ounce of modesty. If he was trying to make her feel
uncomfortable again, or if he was paying her a compliment, Michelle
just couldn’t tell. “Don’t worry. I promised Veli that I wouldn’t
touch you,” he said, taking both his hands off the steering wheel
and raising them in innocence. Michelle immediately grabbed the
wheel herself. “Not unless you want me to,” he laughed as she
nervously maneuvered the car.

“Please don’t,” Michelle’s voice begged him.
Haden shook his head and put his hands back on the wheel.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He
was still grinning.

“You didn’t. I just almost, well, me and my
girlfriends kind of crashed really bad. I don’t like playing around
like this,” Michelle said, thinking about how far away she was from
home.

“Wonderful! And I let you drive my car?”
Haden asked contemptuously, shaking his head. “You still didn’t
answer my question,” he said when Michelle didn’t answer him.

Haden pulled the Audi into a small street and
made a quick U-turn before parking outside the restaurant. The
little street was totally deserted and the only movement outside
was the warm steam rising and hissing from beneath the car’s
engine. Michelle thanked him for the ride and started to open the
door. “So what’s your answer? Do you want me to touch you or not?”
he asked. Michelle looked at him angrily, but it was hard for her
because she was a sucker. Why did he have to be so good looking?
While staring intently into her eyes, Haden placed his hand on
Michelle’s thigh. She immediately jumped in her seat but there was
nowhere for her to go in the small sports car, and the door was
still locked. What a pig! Didn’t he just get done telling her that
he did it with Marika, and on top of that wasn’t he with some other
girl mere hours ago? Who does this arrogant bastard think he is?
But, Michelle could feel herself falling into Haden’s honest and
bewitching lustful eyes, and the warmth of his large hand on her
cold thigh felt reassuring.

Michelle was utterly confused by the
tremendous overload of contradictory emotions she was feeling all
at once. She had not found herself in a situation like this one
before; she didn’t even think it was possible. What would Vilna
think? And what about Marika? Was Michelle turning into a slut if
deep inside she wished that she didn’t know anything about Haden’s
other escapades so she could just give in to his charms? Did all
this mean that she didn’t love Elliot anymore?

“I know what’s going on in your head,” he
said as Michelle watched his hand travel a little further up her
inner thigh. Even Elliot hadn’t touched her like that. “It’s ok if
you want me to,” he breathed into her neck. Michelle began shaking,
then in a quick move pushed Haden’s hand away. “That’s all right,”
he said, shaking his head. Michelle curled up into the corner of
her seat and looked outside the window. She was doomed. No! Not
those damn tears! Why do they have to come out of nowhere? She took
a deep breath and the tears dissipated from whence they came.

“I still love him,” she told Haden with
forced conviction.

“Ah, yes. That so-called boyfriend, oh wait,
ex-boyfriend of yours. I don’t see him here. Does he call you? You
think he’s pining over you somewhere too? You have no idea how we
men operate, do you? Here, why don’t you call and ask him,” Haden
flipped open his cell phone. But Michelle wouldn’t take it. Her
tears returned to their regular launching pad. “Wait, don’t tell
me. You don’t know how to reach him?” Michelle felt the tears
rolling down her cheeks. “Listen,” Haden said more gently, “You’re
pretty, you’re in Europe, and you’re going to let life pass you by
on account of somebody who left you? He’s a fool, believe me.”
Michelle wiped her face as Haden continued. “Your business. I’m not
going to tell you how to live your life. But we both know you
hesitated when I touched you, and to hesitate means that you had to
think about it. I’ve been with many women Michelle. And I don’t
care if you stare out that window all night. You can’t look at me
because you’re scared that I’ll read the truth in your eyes. Well
guess what? I don’t need to read anything. I know.”

Michelle couldn’t believe Haden’s
self-righteous rant, acting as if he knew everything about her. He
reached into his pocket and pulled out the green paisley shirt that
Michelle had worn earlier that evening. He buried his face in it,
inhaling deeply, then dropped it into Michelle’s lap. “Veli said to
give this to you.” Michelle was speechless. Haden’s cell phone rang
and the unexpected sound startled both of them. He checked the
caller ID, then smiled to himself and flipped the phone open.
Michelle heard a woman’s voice on the other side of the
conversation and Haden was saying something to her that made her
laugh. She had a melodious laugh and Michelle imagined her,
beautiful and tall, probably very sophisticated. Was she waiting in
bed for him? It was quarter till three in the morning. Was that
where he was headed after dropping little girl Michelle back off
with her mommy and daddy? Michelle’s anger was building up inside
of her and she didn’t even know why, really. Maybe it was because
just a few minutes ago she’d had a chance with this gorgeous
Hungarian and she blew it? Or maybe it was driving her crazy that
Haden had no problem talking to some other woman in front of her
after he had just tried to get fresh with her? What a pervert! She
couldn’t take hearing him and that woman cooing over one another so
she stepped out of the car to wait for her ride.

It was cold outside and she remembered her
dad telling her that she’d need a sweater. A moment passed, then
Michelle heard the car window roll down behind her. “I’m sorry. I
had to take that call,” Haden said without a drop of honesty in his
voice. What’s worse was that he wasn’t even trying to hide it. He
told Michelle that she was being silly standing out there in the
cold. They had another ten minutes before her parents were going to
fetch her. Michelle pretended that she didn’t hear him so he got
out of the car and walked over to where she was standing. Michelle
refused to look at him; she was humiliated. Not just because of the
phone call, but also because of everything he had said earlier.
Could he really sense that she was attracted to him, or was he
fishing for information so he could then use her words against her?
Michelle had never dealt with a person like him before.

Haden opened the car door and again asked
Michelle to get back inside. It was one thing if it was daytime,
but seeing how late it was, the last thing he wanted to do was
confront a bunch of drunk hooligans. “Because that’s what you’re
going to get, standing out there in your tiny skirt and shiny top,”
he told her.

Cold and scared, Michelle reluctantly climbed
back into the car. Back in his own seat, Haden stretched out his
palm, asking her to give him her hand. Michelle kept looking
straight ahead; she had no intention of touching him. The thought
made her skin crawl. “Michelle, give me your hand,” he asked again,
his voice taking on a lower and warmer tone. Michelle knew that he
was playing with her and asked him why he was doing it.

“You must be so proud of yourself, a grown
man messing with someone like me,” Michelle blurted out.

“Michelle, just give me your hand,” he asked
her again, touching the back of her hand with his. “I just want us
to be friends,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done
what I did. I know you’re young. You’re just a baby, even Veli said
so. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just playing. Honest.”
Michelle watched herself put her hand in his and she watched as his
fingers wrapped around hers. Why did it feel so good to have her
hand enveloped in his? Warm and safe. “I promised Veli I wouldn’t
do anything to hurt or disrespect you.” Michelle thought about that
for a moment. It was great that he had promised those things to
Vilna, but suddenly she jerked her hand away from his and asked
that if Vilna didn’t object he could just do with her as he
pleased? That was just great! Haden looked at Michelle, shaking his
head again. “Yes, if that’s what I wanted. But in reality, I
haven’t decided if you’re worth it yet.”

At that point Michelle was fuming. “So you’re
telling me that my wishes have no say in this matter at all?”
Michelle yelled out.

“Au contraire, mademoiselle. I would only be
acting upon what you are wishing for, but too prude to admit.”
Michelle couldn’t believe what she had just heard, and before she
could even think about it she was swinging her hand to slap him,
only he was too quick and grabbed her hand before it reached his
cheek. “Uh uh,” he said, shaking his head. “Violence is not the
only way to take out our physical frustrations, understand?” he
said, making no attempt to hide his anger. Michelle struggled to
pull her hand away but he wouldn’t let it free. Then in one
powerful jerk he pulled her straight out of her seat and held her
underneath him, drawing her face to his. His eyes sparkled and he
smiled with excitement. “Now, isn’t this better? You can blame it
all on me and keep that image you have of yourself intact.”
Michelle found herself in the same position that Marika had been in
only hours earlier, but unlike her, she tried to push him away.
Haden held on to her as if she weighed nothing and just stared at
her with pity. Michelle felt powerless, like a fish dangling off a
fishhook, and at the same time she was impressed by Haden’s stoic
manners because she thought he‘d get angrier the more she fought
him, but he didn‘t.

When Michelle was completely out of breath
she gave up struggling, and only then did Haden release her. She
looked at him, wide-eyed, trying to discern his motives, and yet
despite everything she still felt drawn to him. When he had held
her so close to his face she had felt his warm robust breath on her
skin; his smile didn’t seem cruel, just suggestive and oddly
knowing. Why was it that she wanted him to kiss her, and yet that
would symbolize her utter defeat? And why didn’t he kiss her if he
had the power to do as he pleased? What was wrong with her? No, she
would never give him the satisfaction of accepting his advances.
Michelle’s breath finally slowed down and she fought with all her
might the urge to cry out to him to just get it over with and kiss
her so she could spit in his face. He was right. She is so
pathetic. Haden never took his eyes off Michelle as the thoughts
rushed over her like an avalanche of confusion. Eventually he let
out a short laugh and gently took a hold of her chin, leaning his
lips to hers. Michelle closed her eyes in anticipation.

Suddenly a light appeared through the rear
window and reflected in Haden’s pupils. Those were headlights. “Ah…
party’s over. Daddy’s here,” Haden said as he let go of her.
Humiliated, Michelle jumped out of the car in less than a second
and began walking. Haden followed her with the car, telling her
that he didn’t need to force himself on her or anyone else for that
matter. People only did what they wanted to do. “You will come to
me, because you want to, and the faster you get it over with the
faster you’ll start feeling better.” The tires screeched and the
Audi disappeared into the blackness.

Michelle had never met a guy that was so
arrogant. But with all those women throwing themselves at him,
herself included, how else was he to view himself? It made sense.
Michelle thought about Elliot and how strikingly handsome he was,
and wondered how it was that he kept himself grounded. Maybe he was
just hiding it real well? After all, compared to Haden he had lived
for thousands of years, and who knows how many women had thrown
themselves at his feet? Elliot definitely had a spark of arrogance;
she had seen it before. Michelle came to the conclusion that the
only difference between the two was that Elliot was used to all the
attention and tried to appear more refined, while Haden was drunk
with his allure and made no attempt to hide it nor excuse it.

Vilna’s voice sounded very rough on the phone
and Michelle considered that she must have cried even more after
she left that night. She told Michelle that she would definitely be
too ill to drive to the festival the next morning, but that they’d
go on Sunday. She also said that seeing Adi looking so happy
without her made everything so much worse. “I love him and I want
him to be happy, but I wanted him with me,” she said, her voice
disappearing with the last syllable. Michelle knew exactly how she
felt, and confided that she felt the same towards Elliot. Vilna
then asked her if Haden had asked about Adi, and Michelle tensed
up. She almost asked Vilna if Haden had said anything about her,
but realized that that would be a mistake. Vilna warned Michelle
never to mention Adi around her brother, even asking if she herself
said anything about him while she was drunk. She hadn’t seen her
brother since the night before and she was concerned.