Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (116 page)

“She admitted it in her own special way of crazy,” I murmur and stare down at my friend.
My heart bleeds when I look at her. I don’t care what she’s done; no one deserves to live like this. It would be easier if she’d died- easier for her, and for all of us. I pray that she gets better so that we all can heal.

A large, garish scar dents her forehead from the impact of a lamp. Smaller scars pepper her face from Katya’s fists. She died- she died over and over. The result is weakened lungs and poor motor function. Her graceful arms and legs move with great difficulty, and when she can move the dizziness and lack of oxygen makes it nearly impossible.

“Are you getting stronger?” I plead inside my mind that she tells me she is.

“I deserve it, you know. I wasn’t myself. You have no idea the things I went through the days leading up to the wedding. I’m not blaming anyone else. I didn’t even do the interviews, and I don’t know who did. I refuse to speak to Diane in fear that it was her. I don’t want to be anyone’s pawn. I wasn’t even sending the notes to Katya. I didn’t hate her, but I was pushed towards her. She was the obstacle in my way. My mind was twisted and tainted until all I knew
was that Katya ruined my life. I can’t believe I attacked her like that. I remember sitting at my desk, and the next moment I awoke from a coma. I went from organizing an art purchase to being a resident of WinterCrest, and an attempted murderer of a woman and her unborn children. I haven’t even told this to Diane in fear that she somehow directed me to hurt Katya.”

“It wasn’t Diane,” I say with strong confidence.
“No way! Not with the chance that it could’ve been Celeste’s grandchild in Katya’s belly. You don’t remember any of it?”

“No. I went weeks in paranoid chaos. I was franticly trying to figure out who would do this to me. I was getting notes of my own. I was sick of the panic and the heartache of watching life roll by me. I decided to work to take my mind off of the wedding. The next thing I knew I was broken and everyone hated me. I’ve seen the news broadcasts and it sickens me. I’m not a nice person, but I’m not a monster either. I’m practical in a way that most people aren’t, and I’ve done truly despicable things that no one knows. I find myself seeking absolution as I sit in WinterCrest for lunacy and crimes I didn’t commit. My hand has worked evil, and I call us even now.”

“Ade,” I breathe and run my fingers through her hair in the way she loves. “What are we going to do? Do you want Whitt to get you out as soon as he takes over?”

“Regina, I want to thank you. Out of all the visitors I’ve had over the years, only you and Diane get it. Everyone comes here and tries to judge me. They pity me or blame me. They make me feel bad when they tell me that they miss me, and I can’t do a damned thing about it. I would if I could. But you and Diane, you tell me what I need to hear, you don’t judge me, or punish me. You simply say, ‘what are we going to do to change this.’ It’s what I need, and that’s why I only talk to you both.”

She takes a shaky breath and draws her water bottle to her mouth. Her skin is so translucent that I can almost see every vein and tendon move beneath its surface. I close my eyes against the threat of tears.

“I’m glad you don’t tell me to take sides. Watching the three of you- the three most important people in my life work together and get along just because they love me, it has helped immensely. Kris screams at me for picking the wrong side. Ezra cursed me for hurting his wife. If I hear Cortez call me a cunt one more time I’ll snap. I freeze and give no response because they aren’t ready for the truth. It’s all about perspective. Each side sees themselves as righteous. Just because we’re not on the same side doesn’t make us enemies. I don’t bother. Thank you, R
egina, thank you,” she pleads.

Adelaide’s tears unleash the ones I’ve been holding back. I join her as I clasp her frail hands in my own. I kneel by her chair, and we just cry- cry for all we’ve lost and all we’ve yet to lose.

“Mrs. Whittenhower, Miss Whittenhower,” a young voice calls from the edge of the hall. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but visiting hours are coming to a close.”

“Thank you. I’ll just be one
more minute,” I reply as I rise.

The young nurse gives me a sympathetic look. She doesn’t leave us alone, but she stands far enough away that we have perceived privacy.

I deftly pack up the cosmetics as Ade watches my every movement. A small smile plays on her lips.

“I’d like to see Whitt, if you could arrange it. I need to see him before I decide whether or not I want to go back to the real world. I’m safer rotting in here than I am out there if I don’t have a support system. Diane begs me to go, but I need to be sure.” She wrings her hands in worry.
“I’ll keep working on Dalton. He’ll push Whitt because he wants to meet you. He thinks you’re the direct line to the informant. Dalton unwittingly gave Olivia the information, but I know there has to be someone else too.”

“I don’t know who. I honestly have no idea. Thank you,” she rasps out and it makes me think of Jamie. Brother and sister are broken; they’re so much alike in all things.

I lean forward and kiss her lips, but unlike with Diane, she responds. It’s the type of kiss she’d give me when I needed affection, but was too deep into mourning to ask for it. I pull away with a sob.

“I’m sorry,” I cry and flee the asylum. No words of love or longing, because I won’t torture her with them. I miss her like I’d miss my right arm. I love her like I love myself… and I never have to utter the words because actions speak the loudest…
 

Chapter Forty-Nine

I fold my arms underneath my breasts and stifle the chuckle that is building. Ezra’s half-in and half-out of the stairwell that takes you to the upper-floors above Restraint.

I arch a brow as I watch him shudder uncontrollably. I have no doubt about what’s happening in that stairwell. I’d seen it firsthand as my husband got his jollies off inside Dalton’s sweet ass with all of us watching. I don’t know how he figured we wouldn’t know what he was doing, because it was beyond obvious. The mischievous glint in his eye said he knew- it screamed of a Master marking his territory. Who’d have thought that Whitt was an exhibitionist? I didn’t think he would be, but he’s banging Dalton out in the open again.

The poor kid is grunting like a wounded animal from the force of Whitt’s newfound possessive streak.

I sneak up behind Ezra and give him a hand. He freezes in shock and instantly thaws. It makes me feel good that he knows me just by the feel of my fingers wrapped around his arousal.
“Need a hand?” I breathe into his ear because I don’t want Whitt to know I’m spying on him.
Ezra turns his face to playfully lick my cheek, and then he immediately looks back to the action.

I press my lips to his ear and breathe, “Katya won’t mind?” so that the sound doesn’t carry.

He puts his hand on mine and shows me how badly he wants some help. I groan into his shirt just under the nape of his neck between his shoulder blades. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but I’ve missed Dr. Lunatic and his reindeer games. We’ve been so busy that my needs are never met. Making love to Marcus is love making. I miss the unexpected thrill of fucking under duress.

Ezra bites his tongue on a moan as his cock starts to throb under my touch. He moves his head to the side to give me access to the view he’s enjoying. I have to bite his neck to stop a mo
an from bubbling up my throat.

“Oh, Good Lord, I’m gonna cum from watching this,” I groan into his shirt and he starts to quiver in need.

Dalton’s on his hands and knees gripping the treads with his fingers and toes as Whitt plows into him from behind. This is the kind of sex I’d wanted Whitt to experience. It’s animalistic lust- pure fucking. Whitt moves with a swift gracefulness that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. It’s like coming upon a pair of tigers mating in the wild.

They couldn’t be more different: Whitt’s strong, pink-flushed body is the epitome of a male. Firm thighs contract with the force of his thrust, and it draws the eye to his powerful ass. His ass is one of the finest I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a bounty of asses. A fine sheen of sweat slicks his lickable flesh. Beneath him, gripping the treads for dear
life, is a fragile man. Dalton is emaciated in a way that is creepily beautiful. Midnight black hair hangs over his face, hiding his alien eyes and ruby-kissed lips. His pale skin is the landscape for a masterpiece of art on flesh. I have no doubt that Whitt dreams of marking Dalton’s skin- possessing him through his art. 

Gorgeous and Beautiful
are murmured and moaned; along with a healthy dose of
fuck me harder,
in a combination of a French accent and deep husky, male tone.
I snicker against Ezra’s neck as his back vibrates from his silent laughter.

I don’t know what comes over me, but I do the strangest shit ever, and
it’s worse that it comes so naturally to me. I rock my pelvis against Ezra’s firm ass in time with the strokes on his rock-hard cock. He whimpers and pushes back against me. I pretend-fuck him like Whitt fucks Dalton for real.

We’re both transported to a different time and a different place, a few doors down from where we stand now, as I’d fucked him as a man fucks another man. I’ve always known that I’m a gay man trapped inside a woman’s body. Ezra’s punishment and what I’m doing now proves my thoughts. Nothing turns me on like two men together, and it deepens my need to fuck like I have a dick jutting from my pelvis and a pair of heavy weights hanging between my thighs.
I whimper because I want to do what they’re doing and I can’t. I’m missing a vital piece of anatomy.

Ezra control snaps and he makes unintelligible words of need as his hot semen scalds my hand.
He tremors and writhes as he tries to be quiet. The moment his orgasm subsides he pushes us out of the doorway.

Ezra’s lax, gasping body falls against the hallway wall where he continues to breathe heavily and drip cum from the slit in his cockhead. I’m overcome with the desire to drop to my knees and suck him clean.

I whimper and rub my thighs together.

“Regina,” he breathes. “Behave or I’ll fuck you on the floor right here,” he threatens in his Master Ez voice and all it does it make me hotter.

“I’ve been unbelievably horny lately- achy,” I piteously whine.

His gunmetal gray eyes bulge at the brazen way I’m behaving. It’s very un-Regina-esque.

“Why are we still standing here?” I whisper at him.

He peeks into the stairwell, and then looks back at me with a shit-eating grin. “Almost finished,
” he chuckles. “I’m on watch.”

“You’re watching alright… But if you mean
keep watch
, you officially suck at it,” I tease him.

He shrugs and smirks at me. “You don’t count. I haven’t had your hands on me in years. Jesus, I’ve missed you,” he flashes me a smile that I’ve never seen before. He really did miss me.

“Won’t Kat mind?” I shake my head and bug my eyes out at his crotch.

“No,” he blushes. “Whitt’s little scene got her going. She’
s in Dexter’s room right now.”

“W
hat?” I gulp.

“She’s fucking Dexter and Monica. She loves that little bastard for some reason.” He shrugs like it means nothing. “I’m sure it’s his monster cock that appeals to her, or maybe it’s their mutual sadistic streak that they take out on Tobias.”

“Okay… Strange…” I mumble. “But that doesn’t explain why it’s okay for me to touch you…” I trail off waiting
for him to fill in the blanks.

“We keep no secrets. If I think it, I speak it, and the same goes for her. It’s the only way I could stay sane while she’s out of my sight fucking someone else. She knows about us,” he stresses
the
us
- as in the past us.

“Everything?”
I prompt.

“Everything,” he elaborates and my jaw drops in shock.

“Yup… she didn’t speak to me for a month after I told her. I got her to listen after I said she was judging me for the past during our present.” He gives me his notoriously cunning smile and I know damned well he manipulated her into agreement.

“Lun
atic,” I hiss under my breath.

“Do you want to fuck?” He asks abruptly and stares me down.

“Yes…” I hiss between clenched teeth. “Yesssss…. I’ve missed the way I drench a floor when you fuck me.”
“Shut up before I fucking do just that,” he growls. “We have to keep watch.”

He bends around the doorframe and gives me a wink- Master Ez’s wink.

“Jesus,” he grunts as he grabs his crotch and watches from the side of the doorframe. I whimper because I can’t see anything without being seen.

“Hey, I have a proposition for you, bu
ddy,” I slur in a lusty voice.

“Buddy?”
His brow arches and he smirks. “What do you propose.”

“In there,” I huskily growl and point at the door next to us.