Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (35 page)

“I don’t understand what you meant about sexual.” My voice crack
s and it’s painful. I swallow a few more mouthfuls of the sparkling water for relief.

“I want you as my equal, my friend, my ally. I need you as a lover. My wife will not touch me and doesn’t allow me to touch her. You know how that is. But she also doesn’t allow me to take a lover. She’s a scary bitch beyond what Daniel was ever capable of and we both know he was capable
of anything. She can’t know.”

“You’ll be cheating on her. You’re right; I do know how
these marriage-business mergers work. Both parties must agree to the terms.” My voice pitches with anger. I was already one man’s mistress. I’ll never do it again.

“I’m a dominant, sexual man. I’ll tell you a secret that I’ve never spoken aloud. We will be equal in our knowledge of one another.
I’m trusting you with this information that could ruin me.” He pauses and looks me in the eyes, judging if he should continue.

“I’ve been with my wife once, by force. I was sixteen when she courted me- eighteen when we married. I was a virgin. I waited for our wedding night and she wouldn’t have me. Her promises were all lies. One night, a year later, I took her against her will in retaliation. I couldn’t stand what I did. I left my home- I left my boys,” his voice cracks from strong emotions.

I gasp when I see tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I needed guidance. I have urges that erupted out of me after I raped her. I found the welcome embrace of a Master. She taught me to control my terrible urges. I, too, have a child that doesn’t know me.
Spyder, and she isn’t much older than your Niel. I fear what Diane would do to her. The pair must never meet face-to-face. It would be world war III. I abandoned my child to save the boys I’d left behind. I’m no saint and I’ve paid for my sins over and over. Ezra and Cort were taken from me shortly after I returned. It was my payment for my crimes. I pay daily when I look into their haunted eyes. I will do anything to erase their pain.”

He puts his head in his hands and sobs. The deep, mournful sounds leave me aching. I rub the back of his neck to sooth him. I should see him as a bad man after what ha
s happened to me, but I don’t.

“My wife actually believed I would never want to have sex, that I would be fine without that. I’m not a monk or a priest. I have stronger needs than most men and she pushed someone to me and I
was disgusted. I’ve been repenting. It’s been almost seven years since I’ve had sex. I think it would be mutually beneficial if we are lovers.”

“How romantic
of you,” I say sarcastically.

“It’s not about romance, Regina. It’s about need and release. It’s about having a haven where you don’t have to act a part in your own life. My public life isn’t me. I’m only myself when I’m here in this house or with those who are closest to me. The training will be brutal and leave us feeling satisfied and replete. The sex will be breathtaking. Our partnership will be life changing. You’re a billionaire now and you’ve managed not to have it corrupt your ideals. But you understand how difficult it is to find someone you can trust, depend, and rely on. It’s nearly impossible because everyone is corruptible to a certain extent. You could leave here and go to the police. I could be arrested for rape. You could tell my wife about my child. I’m laying my faith on you
.”

I stare at the handsome man. He’s so earnest- an open book to be studied. I understand how someone could place all their faith in him. I can see how Ade became a zealot to her Master. I can see me falling into that trap. It could burn me horrifically if he’s a liar. I know to my core that he really wants this partnership. I completely understand all that he said. I’m alone even when I’m surrounded by people who love me. Marcus is offering me a lifeline. I want to fiercely grab onto it with both hands. Isn’t this what the disillusioned believe when they look to their leader?

“I trust you to a certain extent. Just as you won’t divulge who Ade’s Master is, I won’t give you one-hundred-percent of my trust- you have to earn the rest.” I fear that I will insult him, but I am wrong. He looks pleased that I didn’t immediately believe every word he said.

“Secret handshake?”
I offer my hand to him and smirk.

He arches his neck and a throaty laugh emerges from him lips. The sound strikes my core like a hit of ecstasy. I close my eyes and shudder as the sound reverberates down my spine like a tuning fork.

“No, fuck me,” he says gutturally. “We seal this partnership by exchanging body fluids. Fuck me, Regina. I’ll even let you be on top. Take the offer or leave it, but it will be the only time you’ll fuck me. After tonight, I’ll always fuck you,” he growls

He looks like a wild animal: brown eyes blazing, mouth opened as his breath saws in and out on a pant, his body leaning forward, coiled with tension before he att
acks. He is an alpha.

Sex with Grant had been about me. If given the opportunity he would’ve rather just made love. Sex with this man will be about him. It will be intense and by the looks of the bulge tenting his pants- painful. I’ve been numb for years; pain sounds amazing right now. It means I’m still alive. Marcus is almost frothing at the mouth. I hold his gaze. We’re dominants and half of our nature is animalistic- driven by instinct. Driven by the need to hunt, capture, kill, and eat. And ultimately, we’re driven by the need to mate.

Before I can think, let alone blink; I pin him to the sofa with my aching crotch grinding into his bulge. I growl as the glorious sensation of his body rubbing against mine. I’m sorry Adelaide; your thigh couldn’t do this to me.

The kiss is full of seven years of bottled up yearning and suppressed passions. He gnaws at my bottom lip in a deliciously painful way that has me close to release.

I feel eyes blaze into my back and it brings me into my head. My head is the place to avoid in sexual matters. If I can think, it’s game over.

“I can’t do this,” I gasp out. I push away from his chest, but his arms create a steel-cage around me. I know that the person who was here last night is in the room with us again- watching.

“What’s wrong?” He’s sober and assessing.

“I can’t do this again, Marc. I can’t be with someone because of the position they’re placed under,” my voic
e quivers with aching misery. 

“I don’t understand,” a line forms between his eyes and I know he really
doesn’t get it.

“I know I’m not the most attractive person on the planet. I get that. But I deserve more respect than you fucking me because it’s safe and because you can trust me. I’ve only been with one man. Just once in my life I’d love to have a guy want me just because he desires me. I’m not an acquisition or an ally, I’m a person, dammit, and I have feelings.”

I try to push off of him again and he makes me fight for it. I struggle in his hold. I can still feel the other person in the room and I know they’re very close to me. I can feel their breath fluttering the broken hairs on the top of my head.

I panic. I want to yell at him, but my voice is too raw. I want to hit him and scratch him, but he captures my wrists in one of his hands.

“Calm yourself, Regina,” he commands evenly and I still my fight.

“You’re waking the sleeping beast and once he comes out to play, all bets are off. No one has come so close to being taken by force, since that night, and Cort test me daily. Calm, don’t move, and relax,” he begs.

Marc’s panting is equaled to my rapid breathing. I ease air in and out between my lips in a slow rhythm. He joins my practice until we’re both calm.

“Word of advice, don’t ever stop me once we get going. I don’t understand the word no once yes has been spoken- verbally or otherwise. This is a short reprieve while I figure out what just happened with you. We wil
l fuck tonight,” he threatens.

“Explain w
hy you panicked,” he commands.

“
You don’t want me,” I whimper.

“Why do you say such a ridiculous thing?” He fur
rows his eyebrows in confusion.

“You’re a dominant male. You’d want a submissive, not a freakishly large fema
le.” I close my eyes in shame.

“I already have a submissive. I don’t need another one. You’re intelligent, so use words to explain yourself better.” His calm demeanor is at odds with the energy thrumming through his body.

“I went to Restraint. I know how everyone looked at me- men and women. I saw how they looked at Fate. They wanted her badly. I’m not Fate,” I croak out. 

“And what does this have to do with you and me? You were never self-conscious. What changed?” He shifts under me proving that
he’s still extremely aroused.

“How do you know if I was or wasn’t? You can’t know that. I’m getting older. I’m not some tiny plaything. I’ve had two kids, so thin
gs aren’t as they used to be.”

“I can’t fathom where this is coming from, Regin
a,” he mutters flabbergasted. 

“Fine- I’ve never had a boyfriend. My only sexual experience was by force, for both him and me. I loved him with every fiber of my being, but that doesn’t change how it started. I have no experience with this. I’ve mourned for seven years. I’ve never been on a date or went to the movies or even went to dinner with a guy. Now I’m sitting on the lap of another ridiculously rich, handsome male,
whose only option is me, but not because he wants me. It’s not flattering. Neither is being looked through like a windowpane. Dexter was all eyes for Fate, and Cort looked at me with distain at Restraint. He only touched me last night because I was an available wet hole he could enter. I’m not an idiot,” I hiss. 

“No, not an idiot, but you’re severely naive. Dexter wanted Fate because he’s a sadist. He likes tender flesh and innocence. Cort and I have similar tastes, as does my son. We like a fight. He’s partial to your Kristal because she’s an obstinate brat. I have a submissive that allows me to do anything I wish. If I said jump from the bridge and kill
yourself, they wouldn’t hesitate. I don’t want that in a lover. I told you that I like force. I’m not your typical dominant. I want to be the strongest and my thrill comes from making the strong weak. There’s no fun in breaking a submissive for me. It’s my job to take care of them. You don’t take care of a lover or partner because they’re your equal. I gather that you think I don’t find you enticing, which is ridiculous,” he scoffs and presses me firmly on his arousal.

We hold our gazes as we watch thoughts roll over the other’s face. He softly rubs my back and makes a humming sound in the back of his throat in contentment.

“I’m confused about your comment regarding Cortez- explain,” he demands.

“He made fun of my nickname. I know it doesn’t fit me, but that was rude.” I sound petulant and
I didn’t mean it to be.

“Now you’re just projecting your insecurities onto him. I believe he was joking because he knew who you
were, which means that the name Queen would have been humorous to him. My life and the Whittenhowers are tightly connected. Don’t you believe that he and my son would’ve had two Daniel shadows following them around? I was at Whittenhower Estates several times while you were sequestered in your rooms. I know you remember the one time. I saw it in your eyes when you were on the sidewalk. I also went to Hillbrook with you. I was a senior when you arrived. I’m surprised Dexter didn’t recognize you, but then again you were in fetish clothing, not a Hillbrook Prep uniform. My grandmother and Pricilla Whittenhower were the ones who provided your scholarship. I’ve known you since you were fourteen, Regina, you just didn’t see me.”

“There… there… just relax and let that information sink in for a bit.” He pulls me to his chest and hums softly under his breath again.

“I told you I needed an ally. What better one to have, than one you’ve fostered from a child? I tried my best to protect you, but Daniel Whittenhower I is a sneaky bastard. I was going to pay for your education to the university, but you went to Whittenhower Estates and out of my grasp.”

“My scholarship was revoked,” I gro
wl.

“Ah- that was ingenious. It wasn’t revoked.” I feel him look over my shoulder and the burning gaze returns. “I’m sure he forged something.
” He starts to rock me gently.

“Who’s with us, Marcus? I can feel the
m.” I wait for him to deny me.

“My submissive,” he says fondly. “He always
watches when I have visitors.”

“Why w
on’t you allow me to see him?”

“He doesn’t wish to be
seen,” he says matter of fact.

“Why
?” His evasion is annoying me.

“That’s his choice, don’t you think?” I want to say
it’s your choice since you’re his Master.

“What’s his name?”

“Jamie.” He looks over my shoulder and smiles at the man in question.

“May I speak with him?”

“I’m afraid that isn’t possible, Regina,” he says forlornly. “You may speak all you wish, he likes to listen.”

“He likes to listen and watch, but not sp
eak or be visible?” I grumble.

“Yes, exactly.”
He looks satisfied that I understand. He doesn’t know me, if he thinks I’ll drop it.