Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (33 page)

“Hey, Kris, do they make blue drinks?” I call to the ladies hovering in the doorway.

“Yeah, why?” she asks amused.  She takes my question as the invitation it was meant, and sits next to me.

“I’d like to try one someday. It just sounds good. Gather around, I have some news.” I pat the cushions in front of me.

I throatily laugh at the varying expressions gazing upon me. I’m feeling tipsy from the Jack and a bit high fr
om how the night’s played out.

“Well, I had a great walk. Can you believe that I walked
past the Master’s den of iniquity for three nights? He was right on my path. He had the balls to call me from the street outside of his playpen. I would bet my fortune than none of you would guess who he is.”

“You met
the Master?” Ade asks in awe.

“Damn straight, I did.” I take another sip and look out over the tranquil pool. I’m not sure how much I should tell them. I feel a sense of obligation to my new Master.

“Well, who the fuck is he?” Ade asks impatiently.

“I’ll tell you and only you. It goes nowhere else. If I hear someone say his name, I’ll know you told. I’ll never trust you again, Ade.” I hold her gaze and press my will on her. S
he nods her head in agreement.

“Why can’t
we know?” Kris asks insulted.

“This evening I agreed to be trained. I took an oath that he will become my Master. It’s a lifetime commitment. I will not betray him within an hour. It doesn’t matter who asks, I won’t tell. Ade is only getting the information since it directly affects her and I started this journey to save her ass.
It’s information that may help her in the future and it’s about loyalty.”

I turn to Ade and breathe his name into her ear. She jolts when the name sinks in to her brain. She sits for a few moments in shock and t
hen roars a laugh to the sky.

“It makes so much sense now. How didn’t I figure it out sooner? Whoa… You have to tell me if he ever has sex with you. Promise me you’ll tell.”

“Why would that matter if he did? It won’t happen anyway, so don’t worry. He doesn’t see me that way- no one does.” I turn from the intensity of her gaze. It was screaming
I do!
I need to reiterate, no one I want, sees me that way.

“So there’s this guy who lives in the house. I don’t know who he is and that’s how I got this beauty of a bruise.” I point to the fingertip bruises lining my jaw. 

“Cortez shows up with the other trainee. He was locked in the bathroom. We weren’t allowed to see each other for some reason. They called him the PB.” Kristal’s soft laughter brings me up short.

“What?” I ask of her laughter.

“Oh, it’s nothing- go on.” I glare at her for telling me I have permission to tell my story.
“Wait a fucking minute! He’s the one you’re playing with. Who the hell is he? Tell me!” I grab her arm and shake her. I’m pissed because Cortez wouldn’t tell me and now she won’t.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me who the Master is. You really need to know who he’s training. You may kill me for playing with him, but you’ll castrate your new Master, that’s for sure.” Her eyes glint playfully. 

“You tell me first.”  I quickly add.

“Nice try, Regina. I’m not that fucking stupid. No dice.” Kris doesn’t fall into my trap and I swear under my breath.

“Well, on that note. I have a date with number twelve and the inspirational words of James Atwater.”

“Inspirational,” Kris scoffs under her breath.

“G’night ladies,” I sing and wave on my way by.

I weave my way to my room. I nurse the bottle while I wait for the shower to heat up. After I’ve scrubbed and buffed I take another hearty pull of the whiskey.

I stand before the full-length mirror naked. I assess my body: long, strong arms and legs that could never be called delicate. My belly is flat, but when I poke it with a fingertip it dimples. My hips and ass round out from my waist disproportionately. My breasts are heavy globes lying on my chest.

I’m not the ideal. Ade and Fate are willowy- one tall to the other’s
short- both model-worthy.  Kris is small, curvy, and intoxicating. She’s who you’d chase if you wanted a kick with your sex. I’m not what a man would want. No man wants a woman who is bigger, stronger, taller, smarter, and earns more money than they do. It’s isn’t good for their delicate egos.

I pour a large amount of smoothing lotion into my palm and coat my hair. I’ll flat-iron it tomorrow before I meet with Marcus. He won’t catch me unawares again. I won’t walk around like a streetwalker wannabe, but I’ll try for respectable attractiveness. I’ve lived in jeans and t-shirts since I left Misery Castle. While I was a resident there, I wore what was purchased for me- blouses and slacks, and dresses. When I was a kid, I wore clothing I could afford, whether I liked them or not. While at Hillbrook, I wore a uniform. I have no clue what my style is. Shopping, for me, is awkward at best. 

I walk from the bathroom stark naked in preparation for James Atwater. I meep in shock and cover my mouth with my palm. Ade is seated at the foot of my bed, feasting on my flesh.

“I’m not going to get any reading done tonight, am I?” Disappointment eclipses my statement. 

I cover myself with a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top. I sit next to her and wait to be bitched out. She looks like she wants to cry and it breaks my heart.

“Did you like it?” Her fingers flutter on the marks Cort left behind on my neck and upper chest. I close my eyes again
st the pleasure that emanates.

“Did you think I’d act as a widow for the rest of my life? Seven years is long enough. I don’t think you girls understand how lonely I am- how starved for attention. Grant was my one and only. I lost him when I was twenty-three, but even though it felt as if my life ended that day, it didn’t. I will forever love him- ache for him. I need something more than a hug.” I turn and face her with tears clouding my vision.

“Yeah, I loved it. I felt alive for a few moments. Do I think I meant anything to him other than a warm hole? No. He’s witty, snarky, and a complete asshole, but when he smiles I cream my panties. He’s devastatingly sexy and he knows what he’s doing. I need that right now. Will I have sex with him? Doubtful, I was just convenient at the time; a way to stick it to our Master. I’m not delusional. He has sex with Kristal on a regular basis. He won’t be calling on me anytime soon. It just felt nice to be reckless, to act my age for five minutes.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs and
twines her fingers with mine.

“It’s okay. While my ladies were clubbing, dating, and getting engaged, I got to live vicariously. Did you know I’ve never been on a date? Or course you do,” I muse.

“But it’s more than that. I’d never sat at a restaurant with Grant, went shopping, or even took a walk. I was a dirty secret that was kept locked away in a gilded cage deep within Misery Castle’s walls. I wasn’t worthy enough to have him hold my hand in public and say, ‘this is my woman.’ I miss him, but I don’t miss how worthless I felt. How worthless I still feel. Every day is another step in proving my worth.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she cries.

“No crying; this isn’t about you, Ade. I’m going to pull a selfish for once. I want this and you’re not going to fuck it up by outing my Master. I need him. Do you understand me? I’m dying a little more every damned day.”

“Deal and I understand. He’s going to have sex with you, Regina. I know it.” Her eyes flicker back in forth in panic.

“Why are you so worried that he’s going to ravish me, anyway? He’s fabulous to look at, I’ll say that. His voice is liquid sex and his eyes hit like a shot of heroine.” I shiver in remembrance. “Don’t get me started on his ass. But he’s a dominant, as am I. I’m not his type. The lifestyle isn’t about sexual orientation. It’s about having your needs met and I fill none of his. He wants a ‘Yes, Master- anything you say, Master,’ submissive robot. I will never be that.”

“If you do, don’t tell me. I can’t know. Call it divided loyalties. It’s the same as it is for you not telling all of us who he is. Just don’t
tell me,” she says in a panic.

“W
hat’s going on with you, Ade?”

“It’s not about me, remember?” She laughs. “Do it. Do whatever feels natural. Don’t think of the consequences. You’re right; it’s your time to live. We’ll hold down the fort while you explore,” she says to ease my worry.

“I’m sure I’ll be the worst dominant in the history of BDSM. I don’t even know what to expect.”

We sit in silence for a while, both of us staring down at our clasped hands. I love Fate and Kristal, but the bond between me and Ade was forged through emotional
torture- nothing can top that.

Her fingertips brushing the stray tears from my face startle me out of my reverie. Her crystal-clear eyes are lingering on my lips and
they part under her attention.

“Just one last kiss,” she whimpers. “I’ll never ask again. My Regina is moving on to hotter lips. Please,” she pleads.

I lean forward and capture her lips. It isn’t the same type of kiss as the one I shared with Cort, where you spontaneously burst into flame, but it feels really good. My skin is electrified from my earlier exploits that didn’t reach fruition.

“AH!” I shout when her lips suck the marks on my neck. My back arches off the bed and my eyes roll back.

“Ade, stop,” I moan. I don’t sound very convincing, especially when I lay passive as she nibbles my flesh.

“Just this once and we won’t have sex. I promise.” She rolls on top of me and wiggles a thigh between mine. “All our clothes will stay on. I won’t even touch you with my hands. W
e’ll just kiss,” she lures me.

I fall into the kiss she promised. I loosely hold her in my arms. It’s nice to feel wanted, especially by someone who know you inside and out; someone who knows all your inadequacies and still wants you despite all of them and maybe a little because of them. 

I kiss her and rub her back in soothing circles as I allow her to take her pleasure from me. Her sundress bunches under my hands until I feel the cool of her skin on my palms.

“I know you don’t like your body, that you think it’s too manly. Let me show you how much I love your body, especially your thigh.” Ade rotates her hips and rocks against my thigh moaning. Her heat warms me, and her gasps and moans please me. I’m happy to give her this last thing I’ve kept from her- the pleasure of my body.
“Ade, you’re taking advantage of a sleepy, horny, buzzed woman.” I tease her. “I had a stressful night,” I chuckle.

“Open your thighs and let me make you cum,” she rasps quickly into my ear. She isn’t
in the teasing frame of mind.

Her hand skims down to the back of my knee and lifts, opening me to her desire. Her thin thigh presses into my aroused, long-ignored flesh and I ignite. 

We transform into a writhing mass of arms, legs, lips, and hands. My fingers twist into my bedspread as she sucks my nipple through my threadbare tank-top. It stings from the strength of her pulls and I groan in ecstasy.

My pajama pants are paper-thin and fused to my swollen flesh. My slit is weeping through the fabric to her naked thigh. Her panties offer no protection. My thigh eagerly absorbs her heat and moisture.

I lie passive under the flex of her hips she perfected through experience, and just feel pleasure. This is not Ade’s first ride, that’s for sure.

The sudden pain of her of a bite on my breast unleashes a real orgasm, one that starts at your scalp and crashes to your toes and finally crests at the center of your core. One I haven’t felt in almost a decade. Years of empty releases, which were brought by my own hand, dissolve in an instant. I’ll never go back to that loneliness even if it means trusting a friend and finally admitting that I don’t have to be so damned strong all the time. I can rely on someone else for my needs once in a while.

“Fuck,” I gulp. “Adelai…”  Her name is cut off by the force of her mouth crushing mine. I continue to writhe and moan as she sucks the sounds of my release with her kiss.

“Thank you,” she whispers in the dark. “I won’t try for it again. It was enough knowing you loved me enough to let go for a few moments. I’ll cherish this memory always.”

I lie speechless in the wake of my climax. The reverent sound of her words scares me. I know instantly that she doesn’t see me as I see her and I don’t know how to come to terms with it.

“Whitt was right giving you the name Queen. He’s very pleased that you’re using it. You should have seen how bright his face glowed when I told him. He still loves you.” I can hear the happiness in he
r voice and it’s pure torture.

“I can’t talk about that kind of stuff right now, Ade. Not after what we just did. I can’t believe I just made love to you,” I say in wonder and remorse. I scrub my hands over my face and groan.
“You were meant to be our Queen. I don’t mean at Restraint. You were meant to be Queen of Misery Castle. It is supposed to be yours. We would have been proud to have you as head of the Whittenhowers. No one else is worthy.” She keeps speaking and I try to block her out. Is she trying to kill me?

“Please stop,” I whimper. “It’s too late now.
It’s seven years too late.”