Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (72 page)

Jamie:
I love you, too. I knew you’d be magnificent at thirty. I’m glad I could see it!

-Until we meet again…

Jamie:
Until then, Mistress.

I roll over onto my back and cry. It’s the cathartic kind- no sadness- pure relief. My suspicious were founded and I don’t have to grieve or fear
anymore. I can finally let go.

“Re
gina?” Marcus says in concern.

“I just need a moment inside my head and then I want to hear your tragedy.” I smile at the man that I chose over the one I just said goodbye to. He gave me Marc; I could never be angry at him because of that.

It was Roman today in the kitchen that solidified something I’ve known all along. It’s never felt real. I’ve never had closure. Roman said that when he was in the hospital, Marcus sent his submissive and they became fast friends. Marcus’ submissive was Grant. He didn’t die until years later. Marcus would’ve always had a contingency plan if we didn’t escape Misery Castle. Marc’s pain was for not getting to Grant quick enough. I don’t know what happened or why, but Grant finally found the solace he craved while allowing us to live in freedom. I’ve always known and couldn’t accept the fact that he chose to leave me instead of fight by my side.

Grant was named after his mother’s father- Grant James Atwater. I should have known that that would be his pen name; the name he would identify with. He never wanted to be a Whittenhower; it was a drain on his soul. He wasn’t strong enough to shoulder its burden.

He tried to tell me every book and my grief, that he’d left me because he’d rather be someone else than be with me and our children, blinded me.

Books one through sixteen said:
Mistress
. Book seventeen said:
My Mistress was crowned Queen of Misery Castle. May she maneuver the Old King into a position of Check, and crown my son, King of his Kingdom. Checkmate, Bastard.

“Okay,” I smile at Marcus
with tears drying on my face.

“Regina?” He says in fear.

“No, it’s story-time.” I pat his chest over his heart and it feels right- this is right where I was meant to be.

Chapter Nine

Once upon a time, nearly thirty years ago…
A pair of angelic twins lived in a huge castle known as ShadowHaven. These ethereal beings with their halos of white-blonde hair and eyes the color of mourning doves, were the polar-opposite of one another, as most identical twins often are. It was a delicate balance of the light and the darkness living within.

Upon entering the mythical place, Hillbrook,
that eons ago was a huge Catholic cathedral, there was a shift in the balance. A pair of siblings known as Raymond and Celeste Hunter would unknowingly impact the lives of so many.

The happily ever after for the twin of light, brought forth darkness to fall over the school known as Hillbrook and the ShadowHaven Castle. Pearl was a divine being and she met her soul mate in a young man named Richard Hastings. The couple escaped to a far-off land known as the West Coast and created their own precious soul- Divina. To this day, they live a happily ever after. Pearl splits her time between her soul mate and her twin soul, leaving the precious Divina to reside at ShadowHaven.

Diane was thrust into the dark when her light fled across the country. She lost her wings when she fell for the fair, raven-haired Celeste that possessed eyes of the dove. Darkness flowed over the land in its quest to obtain the one she couldn’t reach. For the raven-haired beauty loved another, the exotic Julian Abernathy. The exotic and the dove-eyed creatures combined their essence, and through the power of magic, a precious child was brought forth- the highly imaginative and cunning God with the eyes of the dove and the coloring of the exotic’s gold, and he was named Cortez. The raven-haired God will one day find his soul mate, but first tragedy must strike. 

While her twin soul and her soul mate found their futures with lesser-men that the darkness desired to smother, she had to spread her gloom. The darkness was filled with the monster known as green-eyed. If she couldn’t have her Celestial beauty, she would take its mirror image. Raymond was fair of skin, dove-eyed, and raven-haired, but he possessed a manly attribute that disgusted her. For two years she courted disaster by covering Raymond with false adoration. She devised a plan that only the dark could manifest…

Celeste accepted the proposal of happily ever after from her Julian and that green-eyed monster bloomed within the darkness. She allured Raymond with her own proposal. No mortal man could ever deny an ethereal being. Laid upon a cloud, she bided her time until the mortal man fused as one with the angel. Mid-coupling she began to cry foul. The mortal man was so taken that he didn’t hear her pleas. Once coupling starts it is most difficult to halt. The Angel’s mock-cries were to lure the Celestial being, but she had found solace within the embrace of the exotic and never heard the song. That evening two souls were conceived, one through love and one through deceit.

Darkness blanketed the soul of the mortal man as his thoughts were twisted and thrust back at him as a weapon until he didn’t know if he’d been invited to fuse with the angel or if he’d
trespassed. Broken, he fled and lived a life that wasn’t his destined path. A destructive path that would not only harm him, but ultimately, his child and his sister’s child.

The raven-haired beauty announced with great celebration that she was ripe with child. The monster known as green-eyed completely eclipsed the darkness. She knew that her soul mate was headed to her happily ever after, taking hers with her. Deceit flowed easily from the tongue, she said she, too, was carrying a child, but it was conceived through trespass. The Celestial being rained tears for her companion. One final deceit and she ensnared the raven-haired beauty for a lifetime- she named the trespasser Julian Abernathy.

With that falsehood the exotic went back to his land in the south never knowing that he’d created a God.

The darkness flowed as light as she proposed that Celeste join her in life to raise the sons, thought to be brothers, which were budding within their wombs.

The deceit was disguised as a great day of celebration when the dark, pretending to be light, birthed a God several months early. He was known as Ezra the fair. Ezra was haloed with white, fair of skin, and eyes of the mourning dove. Celeste looked upon the divine miracle with eyes gone clear. No magic known to the earth or sky could create an ethereal being from the union of a mortal exotic and an angel.

The raven-haired beauty erupted against the faux-light until the darkness poured midnight fury. Gloom flowed from her throat in a torrent. She’d lost her happily ever after when Julian Abernathy trespassed after she had laid with Raymond the mortal. The mortal was weak and fled in her time of need. With no way of knowing the origins of her growing child, all she could do was
wait.

The darkness yet again transformed into faux-light. She and Celeste raised the males together, but never to the darkness’ vision.

The faux-light began to plot more deceit.

The Catholic cathedral of Hillbrook welcomed two children of Jerusalem: Bronzed skin Gods, whose eyes glowed amber fire, and hair spiraled of black silk. The welcoming arms of the alumni captured the youngest known as Marcus. Such as the ways of the era, he was betrothed to the faux-light by his ailing Matriarch. At the tender age of sixteen he was brought to ShadowHaven to begin his courtship of the faux-light, where he fell in love with the fair, the golden, and the divine. The faux-light shined bright as a promise of a happily ever after hung from the sky. Marcus the bronze was welcomed into a large family of blazing souls. Another wee-one known as Aaron, blessed the ShadowHaven Castle.
The faux-light was still on her quest for the raven-haired. In private she admonished Ezra the fair and doted on Cortez the gold.

The darkness shattered its light-shell when Celeste, the raven-haired beauty took ill. Darkness blanketed the ShadowHaven Castle, never to lift.

The darkness spewed chaos in private and shined angelic light in public. It twisted the souls of Marcus the bronze and Ezra the fair. Her love of Celeste cushioned Cortez the gold in a protective orb.

The twisting of their souls pushed Marcus and Ezra to commit unspeakable trespasses. After his final act, Marcus fled to the land known as Sin City. A demon in disguise captured him in her web and he was released the year thereafter, leaving behind a tiny Spyder.

Marcus returned a changed soul on a mission to protect the fair, the gold, the divine, and the wee-one.

An evil descended on ShadowHaven, an evil wrought through deceit. The fair was seized by Raymond the mortal, who turned Hunter seeking prey. With his fate stolen, he was left to walk the earth lost and in misery. He wanted a companion created in his image. Upon learning that he had two such creatures, one from his loins and one from his sister, he returned for another.

All the while, Marcus the bronze was going insane keeping track of Cortez the gold. The child was uncontrollable from the loss of his soul mate, Ezra the fair. The bronze locked the children in a room and sought secrets from the darkness’ locked chamber, where he found a scroll detailing this fable.

His uncontained fury eclipsed the darkness. He went to Cortez the gold and renamed him Cortez the cunning. He knew the Hunter would return for his quarry. He laid in wait and sent the cunning into hell with the wee-one in tow.

Three day passed and the children returned from their pilgrimage changed men- changed in the ways Sin City changed the bronze.

From that night forth, Marcus the bronze has fought the darkness. We now engage in a war as the darkness siphons power from the demon.

Chapter Ten

“Morning,” is whispered against my lips. Large arms cradle me to a warm chest. His heartbeat thumps against
my cheek in a healthy rhythm.

“How’s it feel waking up for the first time
with your lover?” I tease him.

“It’s something that I may come to crave. We can’t get used to it, yet. My long game has this happening every day for the rest of my life.” He sounds s
ad and happy at the same time.

“I know,” I murmur.

“Of course you understand,” he says confidently.

“
No, I mean, I know.” I stress the words and he stills.

“What is it that you know, Regin
a?” His voice quivers in fear.

“I think I’ve always known. It was in the back of my mind for a while. But Roman said two things yesterda
y unwittingly and it clicked.”

“He told you?” He sounds furious- a deep, dark
cadence filled with emotion.

“No, I already knew for months. But Jamie told me using the inscription in #17. Don’t be angry with Roman. He didn’t know that I caught on. I asked of how he met you and he said your submissive came to him at the hospital. Grant was your submissive at that time. Then I said he must think I’m a whore after fucking all the game players. He stressed that it had only been four men. I wanted to argue with him and it clicked into place. I know you are Marcus, Cortez is Cort, Ezra may be two personalities, but it’s of one body. That left one man with two names- Grant and Jamie.”

“Are you okay? Are you angry with me?” He fires rapidly out of fear.

“I’ll be okay… eventually. I’ve known subconsciously the entire time. The books were his way of reaching out to me. The vision cleared after I met Jamie. It was always you making love to me with a man who looked like Grant, but was Jamie, that stood in the shadows. When you stopped seeing me, it solidified. Jamie finally told me with the book. I’m not angry at you. I understand why you would do it for him. You would do anything for him. I’d like to know what happened. I understand him better than you think. He hated his life. He wanted to write and be left alone. It hurts that he loved himself more than me or his children. But in a way he was gifting me with a life I never would’ve reached for if I’d him to comfort me. He and I weren’t meant to be each other’s one and only. It wasn’t written in the stars,” I say sadly, but with certainty. 

“I don’t want to go into great detail of that night. It makes me physically ill when I think of it. Usually I have to seek him out and sit with him until the moment passes. Know that I’d always planned on getting all of you out. The boys came home that afternoon and I was detained by the FBI for what I’d done with Cortez. I will explain that later as well. Grant called me and I couldn’t get away. By the time I arrived it was too late. Regina, Grant died in my arms- he was dead,” his voice hitches on a sob and it takes him a few moments to continue.

I hold my breath to keep my own sobs at bay. I’ve never allowed myself to imagine what it was like for Grant when he died. The moments up to his death, the fear he must have felt. How alone and frightened- the pain. I never allowed myself to sink into that misery because I’d never have dragged myself out of it. I loved Grant with all of my heart and I still do, and nothing will ever change it. I see his sad, blue eyes, his self-deprecating smile, and hear his calming voice, and I remember his playfulness. I’ve never allowed myself to imagine his death, but I do now as Marcus relives it. To see my Grant transformed into the Jamie he is today hurts more than anything I could ever imagine. There is no pain that is equal. Not even the pain of knowing that Grant willfully stayed away from me. I can’t blame him because of the joy I feel over the fact that he lives and he’s living the life he’s always wanted.

I understand Marcus better right now. I’ve never felt closer to him than I do right this second.

“I revived him the best I could and he died two more times before I got him to safety. It was months before he was human again. When he finally emerged he was no longer Grant, but Jamie. He loved you and he still does. But he knew you weren’t meant for him. He was meant for his art. He didn’t abandon you or the children. He’s been here all along, seeking the shadows and watching from afar. He does plan on reemerging, but he wishes to remain Jamie. You and Whitt unknowingly started that for us. You can’t tell anyone. Promise me,” he begs. 
“You know, Cort knows, and Roman. Does anyone else?”

“No. When Whitt sits at the head of the Whittenhowers, Jamie will join you all. It’s too dangerous right now.”

“He and I will have a talk face-to-face.” I dread the talk, and at the same time, I can’t wait for it to happen.

I worry that what I’m about to ask will offend him but it’s better than worrying about our futures and our happiness.

“So I was thinking of the fable you told me last night. Do they know they’re cousins? It’s obvious to me. I’d often wondered how they could be nearly identical with the exception of one being light and one being dark. Ironically, it’s the light one that’s off kilter and the dark that’s almost normal.”

“They are first cousins and I see no reason to tell them. Even if they married it would be allowed by law. It’s not incest. Plus, no child could ever be born between them so it’s a moot point anyway. Ezra hates that Ray’s blood courses through his veins. I fear he would hate Cort if he knew it was in his as well. Maybe if he becomes stable, I will tell him.”

“Regina?” Marc’s eyes glow. That color will forever remind me of him. It’s a brown that takes on a bronze hue, but it’s laced with gold-like amber. It’s a color of its own making. The sight of his eyes will forever offer me comfort and safety.

I was so lost in his gaze that I’d forgotten he was speaking to me. I shake my head and laugh. I guess this is what it really means to be in love. I love Grant for a myriad of reasons. I love Whitt for an entirely different set of reasons. But Marcus- he is mine.

“Why didn’t you run to him when you found out?” His smooth voice wobbles. He’s afraid of my answer.

“I already did that. Mind you, I wasn’t positive, but my subconscious knew. The night I shared his bed with you both; I ran to him like a crazy woman, in
a frenzy. Last night we said goodbye to our old life. We didn’t need to say anything else because it was a silent understanding. When we meet next it will be as two completely reinvented people. We both know that I was meant to stand next to someone else.”

“Who?”
I can see the words written on his face. He thinks I mean Whitt. His lips are drawn tightly and his brow is lowered.

“I guess I met this guy when I was fourteen and he’s pretty much stalked me ever since,” I joke trying to get a smile out of him. He’s gazing at me intently- waiting.
“I will do everything in my power to right all of these wrongs. I have two children that need me. I also feel strongly for Cortez because he’s one of my best friends. The ladies in my life need me as their keeper. I’m blessed to have the real Roman back. Jamie and I will find our way somehow. Whitt is my rock because he anchors me to the here and now. I feel a sense of responsibility for every member at Restraint. Even after what Ezra did to me, I think I love him for it. He made me see that he needs me, too. I will pray, work, think, and even kill to protect us all. But when everyone is safe and sound in their castles, you and I will be together. I love you, Marcus and it’s the forever kind. I’ve never felt like this. It hurts as much as feels incredible,” I confess my emotions on a soul-level. 

He stares at me for a heartbeat and yanks me to his chest. He rolls until I’m nestled on top of him. The kiss is a volcanic eruption in magnitude. I don’t even attempt to kiss back. I ride the wave.

His hands grip my ass beneath my shorts. The flex of his fingers as they grip and release in a massage that has me moaning. The motion rocks us together. His growing erection digs into my tummy and I relish the sensation.

“Someday this will be over. I don’t care if we have to cram thirty people into one house. I won’t care if they fight, and I won’t care if they even like each other. But they will love and respect one another, and you and I will look after the lot of them. I love you so fucking much,
Regina,” he hisses fervently. 

“Whoa…
Holy shit!” A smoky voice says in awe. Our heads whip in her direction and she looks amazed.

Kristal’s jaw is hanging wide-open catching flies. Her hazel eyes bug-out of her face. She’s flushed from what she just walked in on. We aren’t having sex. We’re merely cuddling. She has seen worse and reveled in it. It’s the words that were spoken, that she undoubtedly heard, that affected her strongly.

“Kristal, now is your chance to prove that you’re worthy. You will not speak of this. Fail me and I will harm you. Honor this and I will honor you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” she shakes her head emphatically.

Last night she and I had a breakthrough. I told her if she behaved for the next month. I’d give her Whitt as her permanent lover and she could only have sex with those he preapproved. Her punishment ends the day after his twentieth birthday- perfect.

“Welcome to my world, Marc- a world without privacy. A world where a closed door means
enter, and sometimes you’re doing something humiliating when it opens,” I murmur. 

“Oh, you mean like reading books titled with only a numeral?” She smirks. “Ella’s awake and I couldn’t figure out why she kept asking for our Master… and now I know why,
” she bugs-out her eyes again.

“Ah, the monster’s awake.” He picks me up off of him and stands.

“Should I be upset that the thought of Ella draws you from my bed?” I ask teasingly.
“They’re only this age once. Around the age of fourteen they become aliens, especially the girls. Divina skulked.” He chuckles.

Kris and I cock our heads to the side as he pulls his pajama pants down. We sigh in unison when beneath is boxers. He pulls his trousers on and grabs for his dress shirt. Kris gives me a curious look when he folds his pajama pants and places them in my dresser drawer.

“Ella and I’ll make breakfast. It won’t take long.” I stare in stunned silence as he walks by Kristal. He gives her a pat on the shoulder in passing.

“Hey, where’s that female Grant at? I have more stories. Do you want to hear how Niel gave Whitt a black eye?”

The squeal that emanates from the living room says it all.

“He’ll be her new best friend. As long as he can tell stories, she’ll be glued to him.” I try for annoyed, but it feels so normal and good.

“I heard quite a bit there, you know that, right?” She looks me over and I know she heard me say Ezra hurt me. She doesn’t know how and for that I am thankful.

“Just give your word and mean it, Kristal. The sense of pride you’ll feel is so much stronger than the small high from spreading a secret. Trust me.”

“I do. You’ve proven it over and over and I finally understand it. Plus, I wouldn’t want to lose out on having Whitt. He wouldn’t have sex with me. I thought he didn’t find me attractive. I mean, I know he likes boys, but I’m smoking hot.” She runs her hands down her hips and I laugh harder than I have in days.

I won’t tell her that it’s because her dream stud is a virgin. She wouldn’t believe it. I won’t tell her that he’s been waiting for me. She wouldn’t believe that either.

“Well, we better make sure they don’t burn the house down. I know she can cook, but can Marcus? He’s had a chef his whole life.”

“Lucky bastard,” she mumbles.

I wish it were true.

Chapter Eleven

The text said:
My office 9 sharp. Similar dress as last night. I need your computer expertise. –Master Ez

It’s
thirty seconds to nine. I stand outside of his door watching the second hand on the timer tick down. I wouldn’t want to be early or late.

I knock. My heart beats louder than the sound of my fist on the metal security door. I can hear it over the pound of the bass flowing down the hall.

I knock again- louder this time. Three ladies giggle as they leave the women’s room across the wide hall. My body shivers.

A hand on my shoulder makes me jump and meep a girly sound. Aaron reaches over and unlocks the door. He doesn’t look at me or speak. He turns the knob and strolls back down the hall to stand sentry at the front door.