Quinn (21 page)

“I know. You would never have chanced taking that bath in the lake if it wasn’t important to you.”

Her gaze flew to his face. Dammit, she had
known
he was there.

He nodded. “But I had only a glimpse before you took flight like a frightened swan. Your instincts are too damn good.” He lifted the cup to her lips again. “Who is Hu Chang?”

“I told you, my friend.”

“A very skilled friend. Was he also your lover?”

“No.”

He gave another sip of coffee. “A father figure?”

“No. Hu Chang is old enough to be my grandfather. Not that it would make any difference. Age is nothing.”

He held the cup steady as he gave her the last of the coffee. “That’s right, I remember that when I was reading the dossier on you that you married your CIA partner and he was sixty-two to your seventeen. Not exactly a marriage of equals.”

“No, he was a better agent than I was.”

“At first.”

She was silent, then said grudgingly, “At first.”

“You didn’t want to admit that, but you were too honest to lie.” He smiled. “But that wasn’t the playing field I was talking about.”

How had they come to be talking about her private life when it had started with Hu Chang? “You had a dossier on me?”

“You were asking questions about me. You were pushing Eve in a direction I didn’t want her to go.” His smile faded. “Or maybe I did and wouldn’t admit it. She had been out of my life for so long that I didn’t think I had the right to have her know I was still alive. But you changed all that, you told her, and there was all hell to pay.”

Yes, all hell, she thought. Black’s death, Joe’s wounding, Eve’s agony. “I thought she had a right to know.” She added grimly, “Since you were my first choice for Bonnie’s killer. But you managed to convince Eve that I was wrong. You must be very persuasive.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He met her gaze. “Can’t you tell? I can persuade the birds not to sing. I can persuade a wonderful little girl to step into my lair so that I can kill her.” He carefully put her down and sat back on his heels. “You’re blaming yourself for setting all this in motion.”

“Don’t you?”

“I don’t blame anyone but myself. I don’t have the right,” he said wearily. “I thought I did once, but that’s all gone.”

There was something about his words that were reaching her, touching her, she realized incredibly. Dear God, what was happening? “You’re right, you’re the only one to blame.” Move away from the terrible intimacy that was obscuring the facts and the way she should be regarding him.

“I’m glad we agree.” He moved back to his former position beside the fire. “Are you feeling any better now?”

“Yes.” Almost normal, almost ready to act. “Are you going to kill me?”

“I don’t think so.” His lips curved bitterly. “But we can’t be sure, can we? I’m not stable.”

“Then are you going to let me go?”

He shook his head. “I’m in something of a quandary. If I let you go, you’ll just go back on the hunt. I couldn’t be more sure of that. The next time one of us might die. Probably you, since you’re more honorable than I am, and you made a promise to Eve. That would upset me.” He tilted his head. “Unless you’d promise me not to try to hunt me down?”

She was silent.

“I didn’t think so.” He looked down at the fire. “So I don’t see any solution but keeping you here with me. It probably won’t be for too long. I imagine Eve and Joe will come looking for you if you don’t communicate with them.”

“No!”

“You’re thinking I’m setting you up as bait?” He shook his head. “Maybe I am, but not as you think. I’m the prize, not you. Joe Quinn has the same training and instincts I have. Eve may want to keep me alive to pump me, but Quinn won’t be able to resist giving me the coup de grace if I set it up right.”

“You want him to kill you,” she whispered.

“I can’t seem to do it myself. I don’t think she’ll let me. I don’t know why. I thought you would do it.” He looked back at her. “That would have been the most divine way to go. The journey was probably the most exciting one I’ve ever taken, and the destination would have been right. But you failed me, Catherine.”

He was telling the truth, and those simple words were shaking her to the core. It was too much. She shook her head. “Screw you. I won’t be used by you. You want to commit suicide? Get a couple of hara-kiri swords and go to it.”

He shook his head. “She won’t let me,” he said again. “I don’t know why. Maybe she’s saving me for Joe and Eve. But it’s not like her.”

“You’re nuts,” Catherine said curtly. “Now I do believe you’re crazy. You’re saying that Bonnie has come back from the grave to keep you from killing yourself? Bullshit.”

“Is it? Ask Eve if it’s bullshit.” He held up his hand as she started to speak. “There’s no use continuing on this vein. I know it’s bizarre and beyond belief.” His lips curved in a faint smile. “Chalk it up to another hallucination.”

“I will.” She paused. “You intend to keep me here all trussed up like this?”

“Yes.”

“Then will you loosen these ropes? They’re cutting into my wrists.”

He studied her expression. Then he slowly nodded and got to his feet. “I don’t like the idea of your being uncomfortable. It bothers me.” He knelt beside her. “Hold up your wrists.”

She lifted them and held them out to him.

“They don’t—”

Now!

Her wrists came down whiplike on the bridge of his nose.

She rolled into his body, and her knee lifted and struck upward into his groin.

He grunted and bent double.

She rolled past him, jumped up, and took off for the trees.

She made it five yards before he tackled her and flipped her over.

She brought her tied wrists up and struck him in the side of his neck.

“No!” He was glaring down at her as he straddled her. His nose was bleeding, and he looked as fierce and barbaric as she felt. “Dammit, it’s not going to be that way. I told you that I won’t have you—” He stopped, staring down at her, the ferocity slowly faded from his expression. “Even bound and drugged, you managed to almost do it. Wonderful … Damn, you’re wonderful. That’s why it should have been you.” His one hand was holding her wrists and with the other he loosened her hair, which was tied back in a chignon. His fingers combed through it until it was tumbling around her face and shoulders. He added softly, “And beautiful. This was the way you were when I saw you in the lake. You were all golden silk and shining ebony. I only got a glimpse of you, but it made me so hard I couldn’t think of anything else for hours afterward.” He was stroking her hair, slowly, sensuously. “And every time I stopped to sleep, I remembered…”

He was hard now. She could feel him against her. Feel the heat he was emitting. His eyes were dark and glittering in his taut face. His lips were half-parted and full and sensual. She stared up at him in helpless fascination. Dammit, her anger was abandoning her. She was having trouble breathing. Her breasts felt full, taut …

It was impossible. This mustn’t happen. She had to get him away from her. She tore her gaze away from his own. “My hands are tied. Is that the way you like it? Are you going to rape me?”

He stiffened. “It was damn close.” He got off her. “But it wouldn’t be rape, would it? I’d see that it would just be another road of the journey we’re on. And you liked that journey as much as I did.”

He jerked her to her feet. “These ropes are loose enough. I’m going to tie you to that oak tree so that we can both get some sleep.” He was pulling her toward the oak. “Neither one of us has been getting much of that in the past weeks.”

“This doesn’t make sense. Kill me or let me go.”

“We’ve discussed that, and those aren’t options.” He shrugged. “And maybe I don’t want them to be options. You’ve cheated me of what I thought was my way out. I think you should keep me entertained until Quinn shows up as a replacement.” He shook his head. “And I don’t mean that in the sexual sense. I don’t believe you’ll let me—but that’s up to you. Maybe you’ll decide that you should use me to distract yourself. I’m at your disposal.”

She wouldn’t look at him. She was still feeling the heat that had touched and scorched her only minutes before. “Make up your mind. An hour ago you were ready to kill me.”

“Was I? But that game is over.” He was roping her to the tree. He took her jacket and put it beneath her head to cushion it against the trunk. “I’ll let you lie down full length next time I’m awake enough to watch you. Do you want me to fasten your hair back up?”

“No!” She didn’t want his hands on her. That loosening and threading had been unbearably sensual.

“Good. I like it down anyway.” He turned and stretched out before the fire. “But I can see how you’d want it out of your way when you were after me. But that’s all over now, isn’t it?”

“No, this is just an intermission.”

“I believe you’re wrong. I think we’ve entered a new phase.”

“And I think that you’re fooling yourself.”

“It’s possible.” He rested his cheek on his arm, his gaze focused on her. “But it feels different. You look fantastic with the firelight on you. I’m going to enjoy looking at you until I go to sleep.” He made a face. “Well, maybe not enjoy. I’m definitely experiencing some discomfort at the moment. But that goes with the territory. It’s worth it.”

She was silent. “Why are you saying these things?”

“Because we’ve reached the end of our game. No subterfuge. No tricks. I can be open with you.”

“Because you think Joe is going to kill you?”

“I hope he does. I hope I don’t fight back.” He added soberly, “But I might. You could take care of that if you chose. I’ll keep this dart toy of yours and give you your gun back. We could have one final game.”

“And let you use me? Screw you.”

“I thought that’s what you’d say.” He smiled. “So I’ll just lie here and accept the pleasure of the moment. Tomorrow I’ll take you down to the lake and let you take a bath.”

“I don’t think so.”

“We’ll work something out that will cheat me, but give you a sense of security.” He paused. “How close are we to getting Quinn out here?”

“I’m not sure. Eve said that he’s making an amazing recovery.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Bonnie is probably helping things along. I’m glad. It was my fault that Quinn was wounded. He was trying to keep me away from Black when the bastard knifed him.”

“Bonnie, again? You appear to be as obsessive about Bonnie as Eve.” She added deliberately, “I find that very strange when you told Eve that you believed Black when he claimed you killed her.”

He flinched. “It doesn’t seem strange to me. I love my daughter. I love her more than anything in this world or the next. But isn’t there some saying that you always kill the thing you love?” His lips tightened. “That would be particularly applicable if you’re mad.”

“And not remember it?”

“I used to have blackouts about the time that Bonnie was killed.” He tilted his head. “Are you questioning that I killed her? Eve didn’t. She believed Black, too.”

“I usually question everything. So far the only sign of insanity I’ve noticed in you is that you’re convinced a dead child is controlling your actions. That’s pretty weird. Particularly since you never met the kid.” She looked at him curiously, “Or did you?”

“I guess you could say I never formally met her. I saw her once when she got off the school bus, and Eve met her. She was very … happy. I knew I couldn’t show up in their lives and interfere between her and Eve.” He shook his head. “But I knew her, Catherine. I knew her, and I loved her. Eve believed me when I first told her that, but she may not anymore.”

“Can you blame her?”

“No, I’ve never blamed her for anything. I’m the one who left her when she was pregnant to fight her way in life with a child.”

“She said you didn’t know. She said that she didn’t want you to know.” She grimaced. “And you couldn’t help her when you were in that North Korean prison. So it’s idiotic to blame yourself for that.”

“You’re defending me again.”

“No, I’m not.” But she had been defending him, she realized with frustration. She kept falling into that trap. Why? It didn’t make sense when he had bound her to this damn tree, and she was feeling annoyingly helpless. No, not helpless. He had given her choices. None of them acceptable. “I just don’t like inaccuracies.”

“I can see that would bother you. You’re so sharp and clear-thinking that you always want to cut to the bone. I noticed that when I was tracking you.” He smiled. “I’m glad I had that time with you, Catherine. You were a constant pleasure.”

She went back to the question that he had only waltzed around. “So why are you fixated on those weird ideas about Bonnie?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I’m prepared to discuss that with you now, Catherine. I like the idea of you defending me even if you’re mistaken. I want to enjoy it for a while.”

She gazed at him in astonishment. “You’re enjoying this?”

“Not nearly as much as I’d like, but I’ve always believed in taking pleasure wherever I could. I learned that in that Korean prison.” He stretched like a cat before once more settling his head on his arm, gazing at her. “So yes, I’m enjoying this moment. I’m enjoying
you,
Catherine.”