Racetrack Romance BOX SET (Books 1-3) (83 page)

And then everything switched to slow motion. The bay’s head jerked up. He swerved to the left, bumping Buddy’s shoulder and somersaulted. Buddy stumbled and went down, and Emma Rae disappeared beneath thundering hooves.

Jessica stopped breathing. There seemed to be no sound, just a hushed crowd and faces of wide-eyed riders standing in their stirrups, mouths open as they desperately tried to avoid the knot of fallen bodies. She saw Mark’s back as he ran to Emma Rae and a downed horse, but the thrashing horse wore blinkers, and she had no idea what had happened to Buddy.

And then she saw him trotting back, looking at the crowd as though searching for her, and she leaped over the rail and ran to him. He put his nose against her chest, and it seemed like everything would be okay. But then she saw how he held his front leg and knew nothing would ever be the same again.

Dino appeared, unsaddled Buddy and gestured for a horse ambulance. But a man attached a red ribbon to Buddy’s bridle and when she tried to follow Buddy into the ambulance, Dino grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

Her wooden legs didn’t work, and she stared blankly at the fallen jockeys circled by somber attendants. Emma Rae lay on a stretcher but signaled a brave thumbs up to the crowd. Dino grabbed Jessica’s arm and propelled her toward the barn while a sobbing Maria stumbled after them.

“Where’s Buddy going?” Jessica asked but her voice was so weak it squeaked.

“He was claimed, Jessica. That’s what the ribbon meant. Radcliff bought him.”

“Claimed even though he was hurt?”

“Ownership changed once he left the gate.”

“But—” She turned around. Two horse ambulances sped in one direction and another human ambulance in another, and she couldn’t see Mark.

“You can’t do anything for him now,” Dino said gently. “Mark will stay and do what he can, and there will be an inquiry and let’s just hope Emma Rae is all right.”

“Yes, of course,” Jessica said. “Poor Emma Rae. God.” She tasted salt on her lips and realized she was crying.

They walked back to the office. Dino put his arm around her but didn’t make a single joke, and she guessed he felt just as bad.

“Mark has rum for occasions like this.” He pulled out a bottle and passed it to Jessica. She took a gulp and then Maria did and Dino took about five. And soon her eyes burned, and she didn’t know if it was the rum or her tears.

Carlos came by with a pizza, and Dino found another bottle of rum. Jessica decided she worked with the nicest people in the world, and after a while both she and Maria sat on Dino’s lap. She didn’t know when Mark came but Dino picked her up and placed her in Mark’s arms, and the men talked for a minute, and she decided she was having a really good time.

“Radcliff’s a bastard,” Dino was saying. “Surgery is an option, but he won’t spend a dollar on a cheap horse like that.”

She felt Mark look at her, and he passed her a glass of water and told her to drink.

“Jesus, Dino. Three bottles,” Mark said, but he didn’t sound mad.

“How’s Emma Rae?” Jessica asked but no one seemed to hear, so she grabbed Mark’s arm and tugged, and then he listened.

“Not too bad,” he said. “Broken wrist, broken collarbone, broken ribs. She rolled under the rail.”

Dino started talking again, and Maria interrupted to announce she was no longer afraid of Mark, and Carlos rolled his eyes and said he’d walk her home. Jessica tried to get up too, but the floor tilted. So she sat back on Mark’s lap and wondered how she was ever going to make it to the bathroom.

After a while, she lurched up and tried again. Dino grinned and said he had to go too, but Mark said he’d take her.

Then they were all sitting around Kato’s grave. Mark had his own bottle of rum, and he wouldn’t share, but she didn’t care. She leaned against his chest, listening to it rumble while he and Dino spoke about horses and breakdowns and Barbaro.

“What’s wrong with Buddy?” she asked, and both men turned silent.

“Broken leg,” Mark finally said. “Condylar fracture.” And he let her take a sip of rum.

She kept sipping as Dino talked about euthanasia and how Buddy wouldn’t feel a thing, and later in her haze she heard Mark tell Dino they weren’t going to Breeders’ Cup after all, but that didn’t make sense because Breeders’ Cup was at Belmont that year and they were already there. Mark kept wiping her cheeks and murmuring about possible deals, and she fell asleep.

When she woke, Dino had Mark’s rum, and the two men were arguing about where they were going to sleep. When she woke again, she was still dressed but in her bed, and Mark had all the blankets. She got up, shivering. Stumbled down the aisle and into Buddy’s stall, but it was empty, and then she realized it wasn’t a nightmare.

She dropped to the straw and wept.

“What’s wrong?” The security guard touched her shoulder.

She stared into Terry’s concerned face but her throat was too raw to talk. Mark arrived and guided her back to her room.

“Was it because I rode him?” she asked brokenly. “Was it the stool?”

Mark didn’t answer, just gently stroked her hair and spoke in Spanish and she guessed he must be a little drunk too. He rose, took his clothes off, then hers, and she reminded him of his no-sex rule, but it was hard to talk and cry and kiss and besides, they weren’t her rules.

Chapter Thirty-One

Jessica stepped into the aisle and rubbed her aching head. Trudged out the back door so she didn’t have to pass Buddy’s empty stall and stood in the shower for a long, long time. She walked mechanically back toward the barn, feeling dull and dead and drained.

Strange that the shedrow looked the same. Everyone still followed the morning routine. She could see Mark leading a string to the track, Dino arguing with the hay man, and the nasty bay colt everyone avoided still bucked on the hot walker. Horses moved through the morning mist, and someone even laughed.

She circled back to Missy’s stall, concentrating on putting one heavy foot in front of the other. After all, she still had one horse to look after.

“Missy’s finished,” Maria called. “Mark had her out first set, and Dino cleaned her stall. Want to come over to the apartment for breakfast? Abdul has drawn some really good pictures.”

The thought of Abdul’s shrieks made Jessica wince. “Don’t you have a headache?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

“A bit,” Maria said. “But life goes on.”

It sure does, especially around here, Jessica thought bitterly, as she walked into her room. The pictures on her walls seemed silly now, like posters left after everyone in the dorm had packed up their dreams and moved on.

She ripped them down, crumpling them in her hands. Jammed them in the garbage bin. Dumped out Buddy’s bags of grass. Dragged Lefty’s bike outside and left it beside the dumpster. Well, she’d move on too. No sense to hang around and hope Mark would let her stay. The insides of her chest were already too shredded.

The last set returned, and five sweaty horses were led down the shedrow, happy, tired and anticipating their baths. The horse Emma Rae usually galloped had a different rider, another apprentice jockey fighting to break into Mark’s lineup. Maybe the rider was happy Emma Rae was smashed up and stuck in the hospital.

Jessica bit her lip and stared, transfixed by the horses, each one acting the same as they did yesterday. The impatient bay still pawed. The nervous gray still chewed at his bit, and the pretty chestnut still flattened her ears when Assets called to her. The grooms still patted their horses. The exercise riders still twirled their whips.

Even though Buddy was gone.

She couldn’t expect everyone to act differently. If Buddy were alive, he’d be eating hay too. He’d be dropping pieces of alfalfa over his stall guard and blowing his warm breath down the back of her neck. She was lucky to have known him, and she’d never ever forget him.

And she was going to walk into his empty stall and say thank you, and maybe find a piece of his tail to wrap in plastic and keep forever.

“Good morning, Jessica,” Dino said as he walked past.

“Good morning, Dino.” She paused. “Thanks for last night.”

“We’ve all gone through it, honey,” Dino said, his handsome face uncharacteristically solemn. “Believe me, it never gets any easier.”

She forced a nod.
But it can’t get any harder
. She saw Mark standing across from Buddy’s stall and smiled at him because, even if he didn’t want her, she couldn’t stop loving him. He smiled back, a deep gentle smile that made her heart lurch, and she didn’t feel quite so dead.

A bay horse with a star on his forehead stuck his head out of Buddy’s stall, and her heart froze. Cathy Wright walked up to Mark, kissed his cheek and said how much she liked TV Trooper.

Jessica’s legs turned clumsy, but she forced them to carry her past Mark and Cathy, past the new horse, Trooper, who’d settled so nicely into Buddy’s stall. She heard them talking about Aqueduct and how much fun Trooper would be, and how they might go to Florida.

She shivered in the doorway and struggled to breathe.

“Cold?”

She knew it was Mark but didn’t turn around. “Nothing matters to you, does it?” she whispered brokenly. And she wanted him to hug and comfort her but knew he wouldn’t because he was at the track and everyone would see.

“Jesus, Jessica. Trust me a little bit.” He left her and returned to Cathy, and her heart shriveled.

She circled to the back. There wasn’t much to pack: Abdul’s drawing, Kato’s dish, Buddy’s win picture. She threw away the old Mars Bar wrapper, tossed her bag over her shoulder and walked away.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“That’s right, young lady.” The doctor peered at Jessica over half-moon glasses and resumed writing. “No clinical signs of damage.”

“You mean my knee is fine?” She gripped the edge of the examining table, stunned by his pronouncement.

“It’s perfect. But you’ll always have a little scar and some needle marks.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand the needling, but maybe you were looked after in a…primitive hospital?”

She stumbled to her feet and walked dully into the street. The track was eight blocks to her right, her grandfather’s house a two-hour bus ride to the left. Neither was an option.

The concrete sidewalk stretched in front of her and she shuffled along in a trance, picturing her grandfather’s smug expression when he’d said she couldn’t ski any more, how he’d patted her hand and said it was for the best. Rage filled her.

Mark had been right.

She slumped against a wall bright with graffiti while people and traffic streamed past. The rush, the babble, the confusion were so foreign, her head pounded, and it seemed like her entire world had derailed.

A teenager talked on a corner payphone, gesturing with one hand and gripping the arm of a pig-tailed child in the other. When she hung up, the phone would be free. Jessica could confront her grandfather. If she had a quarter.

She patted her pockets and felt the bulge of an envelope. Oh God, Buddy’s money. Unneeded now. Of course, she should return it. She should walk back to the track, pass it to Mark, and clean Trooper’s stall. She’d only been gone five hours. He might not even know she’d left.

But he didn’t want her sleeping in the barn. He’d feel responsible and take her home even though all he really wanted to do was prepare for the Breeders’ Cup.

The teenager left the phone booth and jogged across the honking street, child in tow. Okay, so now the phone was free. She could call her grandfather and tell him he was a cruel, controlling snake.

She hesitated, staring at the phone and chewing on her lip until it throbbed. If her grandfather suspected Mark had pointed her to the truth, he might move Assets out of spite. Probably safer to wait six days before confronting him. At least give Mark his Breeders’ Cup.

An orange and white ambulance screamed past, curling through a line of clogged cars, and she wondered if it headed to Dick’s hospital. Maybe she’d visit him again. She had plenty of time now, and Dick was always happy to see her.

But not today. Today she needed a cheap place where she could hole up, a place where she didn’t have to talk, a place where her battered heart had a chance to heal.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“Guess I’ll rewrap him,” Mark said as he bent over Assets’ legs. “I like the bandage lower on his hind. Protects him when he kicks the wall.” He couldn’t look at Dino. Felt sick. Wanted to hide Assets, not gift-wrap him.

Dino scowled and tossed Mark another rolled bandage. “Don’t know why you worry.”

“I still want the colt to win on Saturday.”

“You’re more generous than me. Boone moving all three?”

“Yeah.” Mark thought he managed to keep his voice level, but his hands fumbled, and he dropped the wrap in the straw and had to start again.

“They’re here, boss,” Carlos said as his glum face appeared over the stall guard.

Mark glanced up and saw Trish and two other grooms he recognized from Radcliff’s barn. They shuffled in, slightly self-conscious, with lead ropes slung over their shoulders. He gave Assets a last pat and left his gloomy barn.

Radcliff sat on a golf cart in front of the shedrow, waiting for his new horses. Assets appeared first, prancing and tossing his head, excited about this change in his routine. His sleek muscles rippled beneath the sun.

Radcliff glanced at Mark. “Looks fit,” he said grudgingly.

“He is,” Mark said, just as grudgingly.

Next came the talented filly, Belle. She snorted as she stepped outside, as though surprised she’d been taken from her lunch, but trustingly followed her new groom down the road.

“Belle coliced two months ago. Doing well now though.” Mark cleared his throat as the last one, hip 665, walked out. Maria called him Rocky, and he strutted after his stablemates, as though aware people watched and fully anticipated their admiration.

“That’s the Hard Spun colt that I…Boone, bought at Keeneland,” Mark said. “He’s got a few hives. Allergic to alfalfa.”