Radioactive (29 page)

“Not a step further!”

I raise my voice and am surprised at how full and strong it sounds. “I am A518, Legion commander. I was attacked by rebels and have come immediately to warn the others. I command you to let me pass.”

The fighter thinks for a fraction of a second, then lowers his weapon and allows me passage to the elevator.

A
s soon as I leave the elevator, A233 crashes into me. She looks winded and looks at me confused.

“What are you doing here?”

Hastily, other Legion commanders and fighters run all around. There is sheer chaos.

“I was attacked by a rebel. He cut off my finger...” I say, lifting my hand as evidence. Paul’s shirt is wrapped around my hand, which is now soaked with blood.

“...And thus got inside the Legion,” she finishes the sentence for me.

“Have you seen him?” I ask, though the answer is obvious. Gustav must be the reason for the prevailing chaos.

“He has barricaded himself in the control room and just shut down the electric wall system. A350 is with him.”

Without another word, I run off at once. I find A350 hammering her fists against the closed control room door.

“Open up at once!”

Gustav, meanwhile, is sitting calmly in front of the control board and does not even seem to notice her cry. Startled, A350 turns to me, as she recognizes me, she breathes a relieved breath.

“Good. You’re back.”

No accusation, no allegations, and no reprimands. I did not expect this.

When she looks at my bandaged hand, a horrified look spreads across her face. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Gustav used my little finger as a key.”

In disgust, she turns her gaze back to Gustav behind the glass door and continues hammering furiously against the door. “You fucking bastard, open the door immediately!”

I’m sure he would rather bite her fingers off than obey her commands.

“Gustav," I now call loud and determinedly against A350’s clamor. Amazingly, he turns around, whereupon, A350 is silently surprised.

He smiles toward me apologetically. “I’m sorry about your finger. It was nothing personal. I hope it does not hurt too much.”

I should have expected he would apologize. I realize that despite the pain, I feel no anger toward him. “My finger does not matter now. You have to reboot the electric wall. There have been sightings of beings beyond the electric wall. Humans who were mutated by the nuclear radiation, they are very dangerous.”

For a moment, Gustav reacts as though he is honestly shocked, but in a flash his old anger reappears. “It is too late. I have already decided.”

“You can stop it!”

He shakes his head apologetically. “No. There is no way to stop the process. I reprogrammed the system in the event something was to happen to me.”

He expected that the other Legion commanders would somehow gain access to the control room, kill him, and restart the electric wall. He was ready to die for this.

A350 touches my arm impatiently. “We have to flee immediately or we will be left behind.”

I look at her. Fear in my eyes.

To Gustav she asks, “How much time do we have left?”

“An hour and fifteen minutes,” he replies.

“Open the door and come with us,” I ask him. I cannot be angry with him, not in the face of his approaching death.

But Gustav presses his hands a little bit harder on the control board. His knuckles turn white. “No, it started with me and it should end with me.” His depressed facial expression gives way to a wistful smile. “I am looking forward to seeing Marie again.”

A250 slowly loses her patience and wraps her hand around my wrist and starts pulling me away with her. “Come now or not only will we be left behind we will surely die with him.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“As soon as the power is switched off to the electric wall, the Legion will destroy itself. It is a self-destruct mechanism. That is why we could never simply shut it off, even if there weren’t mutants out there.”

Incredulous, I look at her, unable to speak.

“There are only a limited number of aircraft. We need to be in the region of the Central Legion before the electric wall shuts down.”

“What about the residents of the safety zone?”

“There is not enough room to take them all. There is only enough for the Legion commanders and a select few.”

“But someone has to warn them,” I cry out in disbelief. This is once again so typical of the Legion. The people of the safety zone don’t matter; they are just a means to an end. “They will all die otherwise.”

“They will die without the protection of the electric wall.”

“They would at least have a chance to survive.”

“It will not be you who warns them.”

“Do you think someone else would do it?” I cry out shrilly. She should know me by now. “Either you help me or you go without me.”

Funny enough, I know she wouldn’t do that.

“So I figured, come, we must go.”

I turn to Gustav; he has such a peaceful expression on his face. I know that I cannot change his mind.

“Goodbye,” I whisper softly against the glass door and walk away. He remains as the captain of his sinking ship.

When we reach the elevator, we see through the glass that outside the Legion commander sphere there is a battle raging between the rebels and the Legion’s fighters. The elevator opens and Asha and Iris stumble out. I’ve never been happier about seeing them and knowing they’re safe.

“We were able to use the elevator easily,” Asha appears to be quite stunned. She knows Gustav must be responsible. So he left a means of escape for the safety zone inhabitants.

We ride together to the inner safety zone. The atrium is completely different from what is going on outside. It is at peace. No one knows about the turmoil raging above their heads.

“What happened after Asha and I fled during the mating fights?” I ask.

“They were cancelled.”

“Let’s split up. Asha and Iris will evacuate sickbay and A350 and I will take care of the rest of the safety zone. We’ll meet on the surface.”

I nod in agreement with the other three and while Asha and Iris pass through the doors of the sickbay, I run with A350 toward the brown corridor, where the D-Class residents live. I hope to be able to find Finn.

As if A350 could read my mind, she holds me again, forcing me to stand still. “You’re going to him, right?” She accuses me.

“Yes, he needs to be warned, just like everyone else,” I reply. There is no reason to call him by name. We both know who we are talking about.

“I want to talk to him,” A350 surprisingly responds. Immediately panic looms over me.

“Why?”

“Because I have to tell him something that concerns me a little.”

This statement immediately awakens my suspicions. “What do you have to tell him that I cannot hear?”

A350 looks at me urgently. “Do you trust me?”

There is only one answer to her question. I nod.

As the door to Finn’s room opens, he jumps from his bed when he sees me; we rush toward each other and fall into each other’s arms. As if guided by their selves, our lips merge in a desperate kiss. “I’ve been worried about you,” he breathes against me and runs his hand over my bald head.

A350 coughs. Startled, we all leave. I had actually forgotten she was there. When I’m with Finn, the world seems to stand still and there is only him and me.

“I would like to talk to you. Alone,” A350 says in a tone that does not allow refutation. I look to Finn. He walks with her. They begin talking so softly that I cannot understand a word, no matter how hard I try. Finn looks resistant, but then seems to relent, and in the end it seems he agrees with her. The two come back to me. I do not like that they are discussing things without me and I cannot imagine for the life of me what went on in that conversation.

“Say goodbye to the safety zone. It is your home and you will never see it again. Care for the others,” A350 tells me. I am grateful to her. She leaves to rescue more residents.

Finn reaches for my hand and we start running. In addition to the atrium, there is a nice place in the safety zone I would like to show Finn before we leave. We turn into the green corridor of the B-Class residents. At the end of the hall is a large set of frosted glass double doors. Behind the doors is an underground greenhouse. Here the researchers breed plants. As long as one does not look up at the ceiling, you get the feeling that you are outside instead of underground. From Finn’s face, I can tell that he likes the sight. Before us lies a huge field, carrots are growing.

Hand in hand we walk through the green leaves of plants that gently caress our legs.

“How long has it been since your memory came back?” I know that it has, I just want to know what was real and what was an act.

“Probably longer than you think,” Finn replied with a smirk on his lips. But this is important, it is important to me to know.

“How long?”

“Since the night you cried,” he confesses with an apologetic look. Shocked, I stare at him. I did not expect that. That night he was indeed different, but despite everything he was still very dismissive. And when we worked out in the arena I really believed that he enjoyed the Legion and could not leave. He understood me and I felt close to him. Was everything he said in that moment a lie? A lie invented to deceive me and the others?”

“But you were so understanding. Did you not mean what you said about the Legion?”

Offended, he pushes out his lower lip. “Nice to hear that you previously thought of me as an unfeeling brute.”

I will not argue with him and try to explain. “I do not mean that, I just meant that you’ve always hated the Legion so much and at that moment you seemed different.”

I’m afraid of his reply and I try to suppress a tremor in my hands. He turns to me sympathetically and looks up to me with a smile in his eyes. “I’m glad I was here. It was the right decision. Otherwise I would never have been able to see you as you really are.”

“And what am I?” He found out that we do not match? Is that what he wants to tell me?

“You are brave, strong, loving, kind, and beautiful.”

I blush, embarrassed by his words. I have never been called beautiful. Florence with her long blond hair is, but not me with my bald head and pale skin.

He forces me to look him in the eye.

“Your beauty comes from within. It is like a shining star that is hidden behind clouds in the sky. Radiant and pure.”

In his eyes I can see the love that he feels for me. He truly feels what he is saying. I can feel it. We kiss again.

Although there is chaos all around us, I have found my inner peace with Finn in the carrot field. There is nothing more that stands between us. We know everything about each other. Although we do not always agree, I appreciate him for his strength and forgive him his weaknesses.

I have so longed for him and feared the truth. His kiss is always passionate. For too long now we have been forbidden to touch. We have a lot of catching up to do. Will we ever have the time?

I’d prefer it if he never released me and I became one with him. I want to be closer to him than ever before.

But suddenly Finn removes himself from our embrace. For the first time his face is flushed. “This is not the right time or the right place,” he blurts out. As I understand what he’s talking about, I also blush. Strangely, I had not thought of it, but I am filled with the idea of sleeping with him, I am no longer afraid. It seems like the right order of things.

“And what if there will never be a right time?” I ask him defiantly, pointing at the field around us. “This place is Just as good or bad as any other, I do not care where I am as long as we’re together.”

“Are you sure you really want that?”

“I could not be surer.”

For the first time in my life I really feel like me. My heart and my head agree. I know what I want.

Slowly we lie down on the green field of carrots. Mutually we strip our suits from our skin. Finn touched parts of my body that I have never even considered. He kisses me and caresses me. Goose bumps form on my whole body. I feel like I am in a trance and do not waste a thought to all the problems and worries in the world. They are forgotten in this moment. This is our moment. Maybe it’s stolen time, but it’s our time.

I never thought that I could feel so free and even beautiful while naked with another person. I always felt ugly, but I just need to look in Finn’s eyes to know that isn’t true. He loves me with all of his soul and every fiber of his body. Like lightning, a picture emerges in my thoughts.

Dead bodies stacked like a pyramid, all killed with a headshot. I freeze instantly. A350 said at the time this was the work of rebels. I was sure that Finn must have killed the other abductees, but I never could ask him. That’s the only thing that discourages Finn in my heart. It’s the only thing that stands as a wall between us.

“Finn, I need to ask you something. It’s important to me,” I interrupt him.

“Then ask...” he replies calmly. He has no idea what I want to ask him.

“Did you kill the other hostages that were kidnapped along with me?”

Finn solidifies and already I see that my worst fears have come true. I know that he would not lie to me.

“I wanted to, and I would have done it, but Gustav would have never allowed it. We let them run.”

I feel endless relief and silently thank Gustav.

“I love you Finn,” I blurt out and press my lips to his.

"I love you too, Cleo, who goes with the sun."

Now there is nothing to stop us. Nothing stands between us. Although Florence once told me that it would be beautiful, I never imagined sex like that. I linked it with pain and humiliation. But it is anything but that. It’s as if two souls merge and our hearts beat in the same cycle. To sleep with Finn is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I want to completely sink into him, become one with him. To sleep with him is to make an invisible bond with each other.

I do not know how much time has passed when Finn takes my hand and pulls me from the ground. We kiss and smile at each other. We share a sweet secret together. Together we leave the greenhouse and rush through the safety zone and back to the elevators. It seems as though there is nobody here but us. Silence reigns. Not even the quiet hum of the machines can be heard. A350 must have kept her word and brought everyone to safety.