Radioactive (26 page)

Both take their starting positions.

“Three, two, one... Fight!”

The battle is on and no shot is fired, so this will definitely last longer than Asha’s battle. Instead, they look at each other. They circle each other like lions and tigers do before they go at each other. The distance between them is much too large to guarantee a hit.

Both have raised their right wrists and their lasers aimed at each other. Finn fires. His lips are pressed together. Zoe evades it, but while evading, Finn fires again, forcing Zoe further back. Finn fires one shot after another, giving Zoe no choice but to flee as though she were an antelope against a lion. It is clear that Finn has the upper hand. While Zoe is not necessarily the fastest runner, Finn is also not the best shot. However, he’s not nearly as bad as it seems. None of his shots are dangerous. Whenever Zoe slows down, it seems as though Finn is at his most inaccurate. His shots hit near her feet or the wall beside her head. In addition, his other shots are in the chest area, so all Zoe has to do is duck to avoid them. It’s almost as though he is giving her a chance. Neither shows the same kind of ambition that was present in Asha. Slowly Zoe reaches her point of exhaustion. She breathes harder and harder and he steps are slower. Finn, who has done little more than to shoot at his sister, lowers his laser arm. While he was full of energy in our training, it seems as though he is completely indifferent as to whether he wins or loses now. Zoe gasps for air and falls to the ground. She does not even have the power to stretch her arms defensively in front of her. She must have bit her tongue during her fall because a narrow trail of blood trickles from her lips down to her chin. She has a hard time breathing, tears well in her eyes. Finn raises his laser toward her. He could have shot her long ago if he had wanted.

His weapon dances up and down. He hesitates for far too long. Everyone notices. This is the proof I have been waiting for. There is no longer any doubt. Finn remembers. The only question is, how much?

He raises his head and looks to the stands. His eyes pass over the faces of the Legion commanders. His gaze lingers on me. I smile at him to let him know that I will support him no matter what he does next. I do not expect him to choose a victory scenario.

His laser fires and echoes through the arena. It has become quiet.

“D577 has won the fight,” the computer announces monotonously. There is no applause.

After the last fight of the day is complete, not only the fighters, but the spectators as well, are exhausted. The ceiling lights dim slightly, but the weak light reminds me of the lush red of the setting sun, though it lacks warmth. A233 takes the microphone to announce the winners of the D- Class and their pairings.

“A successful first day is behind us with many twists, exciting battles, and glorious victories in the next round of mating fights five residents from the fourth and fifth generation have emerged as victors of the D-Class.  These residents have achieved a high rank, for the first time in the mating battles; they have the chance to undergo reclassification.”

The residents of the safety zone start applauding. Even if their body language does not express joy, I can recognize it, and above all, curiosity in their faces. A233 recites individually the five winners of the fourth generation and then they line up in a row in the empty arena. Then they announce the pairings. They act neither happy nor sad about the choice of their partner. Although they will have a child together, it won’t be together. There is no physical act of love. Just reproduction in vitro.

The fourth generation D-Class residents leave the arena.

“The winners of the fifth generation are D514, D539, D540, D560, and D577.”

The fifth generation winners stand in the arena. For the first time in her life, Asha raises her head highly. A smile is on her thin lips. Finn looks to the ground. He seems to feel guilty over Zoe’s defeat. He raises his eyes in my direction and I know he is his old self again. Sometimes a brief moment of looking someone in the eye can reveal more than words ever could. It is a silent confession.

Next, are the fifth generation D-Class pairings. Zoe is devastated. Her legs seem hardly able to bear her weight. She is trembling, but otherwise frozen in place, waiting for her name to be called.

“For the first time in the short history of the Legion, the pairings will be officially announced so that the partners may be allowed to talk to each other and get to know each other better. A re-pairing in five years is not ruled out.”

With every word A233 says, Zoe’s shoulders seem to sag increasingly downward. Her chest is heaving as though she can hardly get air. I see how she controls her breaths to prevent tears from welling up.

A233 begins to read the pairs. No one seems to pay attention to who they are paired with. No one exchanges any more than a curt nod. Nobody smiles, no one cries.

“D541 and D523,” A233 announces in a monotone voice that hardly differs from the computer.

Scared, Zoe raises her head and stares up to the podium; as if she could hardly believe her name was announced. A fountain of tears stream from her eyes as she looks at me. It hurts me to see her suffer and not be able to do anything about it. I know she wants my help, but I have no idea what I can do.

When I do nothing, she looks to the other D-Class residents standing with her. One of them comes forward and takes his place at her side. He must be D541. He looks just like everyone else. Not too big and not too small. A bald head, large light blue eyes, a straight nose, well-proportioned lips, and a slim body with light muscles on the upper arms. The perfect man. I can see from the stands nothing that makes him special. But I’m sure there must be something behind the façade.

As Zoe turns to him, her legs tremble. A small gasp penetrates from her throat. Tears stream down her cheeks. She does not look at D541. She presses her lips firmly together so as not to sob. She stares at me, as if to say this was my fault.

Even though I am afraid of the visit, I see it as my duty to attend to Zoe before her fertilization is carried out. The sickbay is more animated than I have ever seen before. Through the corridors, doctors race around in their green suits, followed by D-Class residents in brown and fighters in blue. Gradually the first seeds are being collected and will be implanted into the women.

Zoe is in a large room with other D-Class women who will also be fertilized. When she sees me come through the door, she jumps in relief off her bed and walks toward me in her brown gown. She is barefoot.

“Finally! Here you are, I was afraid that you wouldn’t come. What is your plan?” She says excitedly. The truth is, there is no plan, but I cannot tell her that. I gently put my hand on her bare arm and walk her back to her bed.

“Sit down, please,” I urge her, but Zoe shakes her head uncomprehendingly. “Why? We have no time. The procedure is to take place tomorrow morning. Are you going to hide me somewhere?”

“Please sit down,” I repeat again, this time more sharply than intended. I see the blazing panic in her eyes, but she is powerless to resist and obeys, falling back on the bed, but without letting me out of her sight.

“What are you going to do?” She asks again, her voice trembling. She’s scared and I cannot blame her.

I sighed and sat down beside her. “I want to be honest with you. I do not know what I can do about this,” I confess to her.

Incredulous, Zoe just shakes her head. “You must be able to do something...”

“I cannot just kidnap you and smuggle you out of here. All areas are on high alert right now. The fighters are on high alert. On one hand it’s because it’s the mating season, and secondly, there is the threat of rebel attacks. It has never been harder to escape than it is right now.”

“But it’s not impossible, right?”

I hear hope dying a slow death in her voice. It breaks my heart to answer her.

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Her fingers cling firmly to the white fabric of the duvet while her lips begin to tremble again. Her tears glisten in her eyes, but before they can clear a path down her cheek, she pinches her eyes together, shaking her head furiously.

“You are a Legion commander and you are telling me there’s nothing you can do? I do not believe you!”

It is again one of those moments when I hate to have been appointed as a Legion commander. I thought it would be so easy to be one of many.

“If it were you, you would find a way,” Zoe claims, incensed. She hates me because I’m not waiting on my own fertilization. But what if I were sitting here today? Would I try to escape? After all, it’s just an artificial insemination. I would have no physical contact with the D-Class resident. He would only be a sperm donor. Nothing more.

“What are you most afraid of?” I ask Zoe, without mentioning her allegations. I know she does not mean it.

Taken by surprise, she begins to calm down.

“I’m not afraid. I just do not want to be pregnant by some stranger. I do not want to be pregnant and know I will never see the child. I want children, but not by just anyone.”

So it’s not even about the fertilization, it’s about being never being a real mother and bearing a child that will be as much a stranger to you as the person who donated the sperm. I most likely cannot prevent my own fertilization, but at least I can enact some influence in the arena over who the sperm donor is. But I am not mentioning this to Zoe.

She reaches for my hand desperately. “So there is nothing you can do for me?”

Sadly, I shake my head.

She lets go of my hand, lies down on the bed, and turns her back to me. “Then I would like to be alone now.”

Her rejection hurts, but I’m glad she is not freaked out, screaming, or throwing things because then they would be strapped to the bed. The night would be all the more terrible for her.

Wordlessly, I leave the room and walk through the corridors of the sickbay, but not aimlessly. I am seeking the laboratory where the sperm donations are kept. I saw it when I was searching for Z318’s cell, so I know I will find it again. The lab is easy to recognize as it is blocked by a glass door. However, I need only put my thumb on the scanner to access the lab. This is one of the moments I love being a Legion commander. Normally, the labs are empty at this time of day, but during mating season there will be B-Class medical personnel working through the night. Samples must not only be taken, but sorted and labeled accordingly. Of course they are agitated when they see me walk in their lab. I recognize the senior doctor from the conferences in the Legion commander sphere. He bows respectfully to me.

“Legion commander A518, I greet you.”

“I greet you also, B210.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to look at your work. This is the first mating season that I will witness as an active participant and as a Legion commander. I hope I am not disturbing your work.”

B210 nods sympathetically. “A Legion commander never interferes. We appreciate your interest. Please look around quietly. I need to leave; there is something I must attend to.”

He nods to me before hastily leaving the lab. The working B-Class residents are less pleased with my visit. To them I’m a nuisance, partly because I’m in the way, partly because they feel controlled by me. I am sure that each of them will get their job done and to the complete satisfaction of the Legion, but I can imagine how nervous I would be if I had been in the food allocation section and a Legion commander came to inspect our work.

I do not plan on disturbing them long. On the contrary, I’m interested in where they store the samples. The storage area is hardly ignorable. It is at the end of the room and is closed off by a glass door. White fog emanates from the edges.

When I open the door, there is a soft hiss and cold air greets me. All of the test tubes containing sperm are sorted by classifications and designations. The first test tube carries the designation A489 and the last one is D599. It does not take long to find the test tube marked D541. I pull it out of its slot. Surreptitiously I glance over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching me, but all seem to be perfectly engrossed in their work. None of them would ever assume that a Legion commander could do anything wrong.

Determined, I now search for the C-Class. C515, perfect!

Cautiously, I remove both labels. I place the C515 sticker on D541’s test tube and D541’s sticker on C515’s. I pup the new D541 glass back in its spot.

“Can I help you?” Someone says behind me and I almost drop the test tube. A young B-Class resident of my generation stands behind me. I check his gaze to see if there is any distrust in his eyes, but he acts polite and courteous.

“I am looking at the test tubes. It is unbelievable that a new person will emerge from these.”

“It’s not just people, but better people. We examine each sample to test for diseases or deformities. Already we can influence the size of every human being,” he says proudly. I act interested while I put the test tube designated C515 back where it goes.

“Why go through the trouble of changing the genes or other features?”

“If we did not change certain features, it would no longer be possible to identify the outcasts. Only good people have the right to wear the look of the Legion.”

He sees it as an honor to not be distinguishable from others. Even now I miss the warm brown of my eyes; my true eye color is not this artificial light blue. It’s like a mask the people hide behind.

“Thanks for your help,” I reply friendly and leave the laboratory. My work is done. That’s all I can do for Zoe. I cannot spare her against unwanted pregnancy, but at least it will now not be the child of just anyone but her and Clyde. I have a feeling that those two have a special relationship with each other. They throw brief looks to each other and the gentle sound of their voices when they talk to each other. It seems as though they depend on each other. Perhaps I am mistaken, I do not have much experience when it comes to feelings, and maybe that’s what makes me realize truths easier. Now we have nine months in order to find a way to allow Zoe to keep her child.