Radioactive (6 page)

“The experiment indeed failed, but the outcasts were quiet, so we could live in peace for years side by side. That is, until a year ago when the first attacks came.”

“What changed? Why would they attack suddenly?”

“The children from that time grew up. They know nothing of the Legion and see us only as the enemy. For everything that goes wrong in their lives, they blame us. And the older ones who do remember their time in the Legion do not want anything to do with us. They want to be independent.”

If I did not know better, I would think she was talking about Finn. Each statement just now fits him perfectly.

“But people cannot live in the safety zone forever,” I say quickly, just the prospect of mankind forever having to live here is cruel.

“But people cannot be treated like animals; this is an error the Legion has already made once.”

“But they could slowly and carefully be introduced to a life on Earth. In small steps.”

A350 smiles at me. It is the same smile she uses when talking about the Legion. She seems to be proud of me. “I feel the same way. Talk at the next meeting about your proposal for the food allocation department and I will support you.”

She puts both of her hands on my shoulders and looks reassuringly into my eyes. Although they are the same light blue as everyone else’s in the Legion, I think I recognize something about them. I cannot say what it is, but I feel something very close about her. Her support means a lot to me because maybe I can finally change something for the better for the people of the safety zone. That’s what I always wanted. Perhaps no blood must be shed to transform the world for the better. Maybe words can change the world more than fists.

A
s I lie awake at night in the soft, but too big bed, the light of a thousand stars illuminates my room. I cannot manage to sleep. Too many thoughts race through my head. On one hand, I want to fully devote myself to the Legion, especially to the people in the safety zone, but on the other hand it feels like betrayal. What would Finn say about this? I can almost see the look of disappointment and hurt in his eyes. He would probably say something like, ‘
I always knew you were one of them, I never should have doubted it.
’

Perhaps it’s even. Ever since I was born I belonged to the Legion and now the more I learn about it, the more I understand their motivations, though that does not mean I agree with it. There are so many things that I want to change, but I cannot do it without starting a war. Even though the Legion has made some bad decisions in the past, they always did it with the intention of avoiding another war, I agree with that. Finn always said that one should take risks in order to gain anything, but in my opinion there is nothing that would be worth it to endanger the lives of innocent people. Finn would not understand it, but perhaps his sister would. Zoe has lived in the safety zone. She knows the people. Would she really risk all their lives so that only she could live in freedom? Does she and Clyde not care? Every one of us living in the safety zone has a unique personality waiting to be allowed to shine.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I am now a Legion commander, which means that I can do whatever I want to. If I want to pay a visit to the safety zone, I only need to step in the elevator. I can even see Zoe whenever I want.

Excited, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. The door of my room opens easily. It’s an incredibly liberating feeling to be able to go wherever and whenever I want. There are no barricades, no locks, and no prohibitions. If I wanted to, I could probably go outside into the fresh air. All paths are open to a Legion commander. Nevertheless, my heart beats wildly in my chest as I reach the glass elevator. Nervously I put my thumb on the scanner and wait. It takes a moment, then a red light appears and the computer announces, “Access denied.”

That cannot be! I am a Legion commander. Perhaps my thumb was too wet from the sweat of my palms. Shakily I wipe my hands on my thighs and put my thumb on the scanner again. Again, the red light appears followed by the words, “Access denied.”

This is just unreal! Why is it not working? Am I not registered in the system? But I can open my room door.

Startled, I turn around. Next to me is a Legion commander of my generation. I did not even hear him coming.

“I just...” I falter and feel really stupid “I just was going to the atrium, but the door will not open.” I finish the sentence because I cannot tell him the truth. Even A350 would not approve of a visit to see Zoe in the sickbay. They may even ban me from ever going there.

“It’s no wonder you don’t have any authorization,” the boy replied with a triumphant smile on his lips and a head held high.

“I’m not authorized?” I repeat, confused. I thought I was a full member.

“You have to prove yourself as being trustworthy,” he says with a shrug before adding, “I got my full rights after a week.”

He says it in a tone that makes it clear to me that he does not expect it will go just as fast with me.  It is difficult for me to judge him. Although he is not as cold as the senior Legion commander, there is something that makes me uneasy about him.

He seems to remember that I’m new because he suddenly waves off, laughing. “Excuse me, I have not introduced myself. I’m A566. Previously I was the only fifth generation Legion commander. But since you’re here, I’m probably the only male fifth generation Legion commander.

Although he seems to smile at his words, he acts as though my mere presence is evil.

“I am pleased to meet you. I am A518,” I reply in courtesy.

“I know,” he replies with this indefinable smile on his lips. “I am pleased that you now belong to us.”

Although he smiles, he words do not seem honest, almost rote, mechanical even. I cannot say whether it is because he is uncertain how to manage his feelings in general or whether he is consciously lying to me.

“Have you decided on how you will vote at the meeting?”

He frowns, “Why do you want to know that?”

“It seems as if my presence divided most of the commanders, I would like to know where you stand.”

He raises his hand apologetically. “You did well, your idea sounds interesting. You can rest assured that I will vote for you. If you stand with me, you will have a true friend by your side.”

I highly doubt that he will ever know what friendship means. How could he? But more strangely, it’s that he used this word that should be foreign to him.

“Thank you,” I reply cautiously.

“If you want, I can take you down to the atrium,” he offers, but I shake my head quickly. I would not feel good about being in his debt.

“No thanks, it’s not really important.”

Especially since my real destination was the sickbay. But I would never admit it to him; maybe he’d use it against me.

“No problem, it was just a suggestion,” he replied, shrugging. A gesture he often used. For other people, a shrug shows ignorance or even uncertainty. For him, it’s neither of those things.

“Thank you for offering, I appreciate it, but now I will go back to my room,” I say goodbye.

“That’s a good idea; you should be well rested tomorrow. After all, you still have a lot to learn.”

If Jep or Pep had said this, it would be with a naughty twinkle in their eyes, but A566 is serious.

I nod and turn around to leave, but he touches my on my elbow. His hand is warm. “If you change your mind, please let me know.”

Again, I nod without looking at him. While I rush back to my room I can feel his eyes on my back. His gaze pierces me directly between my shoulder blades. It is only when the doors close behind me that I realize I have been holding my breath. Relieved, I breathe out.

The conference takes place the next day in the large meeting room where our food is served. All twenty of the Legion commanders come, as well as a doctor in a green suit and a fighter in his blue uniform. Unfortunately it is not Clyde. I would like to see him again. It would be nice to see someone I could be honest with. What would I tell him? I would probably ask him about Zoe first. Basically it does not matter what we would talk about. It would feel good just to sit next to him. Although we hardly exchange words with each other, I feel connected to him more than anyone else. Even more than Finn. We share the same past. Clyde is the only one who can really understand me.

The conference is led by A489 and begins with a summary of the events of the last week. The highlight of this summary is my appointment as a Legion commander. The Legion commanders of the northern, eastern, and southern legions focus their congratulations on me. To me, this is a new situation. What surprised me was that our legion was known as the Central Legion. I only knew of other legions superficially from my time with the rebels. I will have to ask A350 about how many there are. As usual, she’s right next to me. When the conversation turns to our Legion, she winks at me. What else do I not know about the Legion?

The conference continues with reports from other safety zones. The rebels attacked the Northern Legion. They managed to paralyze the power supply for several hours. There was a massive panic with several deaths and injuries. The rebels have not yet been caught.

I remember Raymond who came from the Northern Legion. In the attack on the black market, his wife died. She was one of the unfortunate people who were close to the electric wall in the explosion. She lost her arm and her face was mangled by the blast. Raymond held her in his arms until she died. I knew he would avenge her death. It is rather amazing that he waited so long. At the same time, I find myself happy upon hearing that the rebels had not yet been caught. I have yet to fully choose a side.

The top fighter of our Legion gives a report. To the delight of all, there were no complications with us. The rebels have kept quiet and there have been no riots in the safety zone. Likewise, the senior Legion doctor reported that the inmates in the sickbay obey instructions and have not offered any resistance. Immediately I think of Zoe. Somewhat reluctantly, I raise my hand. A489 looks at me irritated. Obviously it is not usual to interrupt a speech, but he grants me permission to speak.

“Would it not be possible to reintegrate some of the people in the sickbay?”

“No,” he replies immediately without even thinking about my words. He does not give an explanation for this, so I am forced to continue, “And why not?”

“They had their chance,” He answers indifferently.

“Diseases are curable. Are they in the sickbay because they are sick?” I reply in the same know-it-all tone he uses.

He angrily pulls his eyebrows together. “The occupants of the sickbay do not suffer from physical diseases, but diseases of the mind, which have proved to be irreparable. Reintegration is therefore ruled out.”

Although I can clearly see that he expects me to keep my mouth shut, I continue. “You could monitor their work by the hour so you could observe their behavior towards their fellow human beings. The Legion has many able people locked up who could otherwise contribute to our society.”

I see how A489’s lips tremble with rage and his hands clench into fists. He has to concentrate hard, so as not to pound the table. Instead, he looks away from me and looks condescendingly at A350. When he speaks, his voice is sharp and cutting. “It seems to me that you have been unable to teach her the basic rules of the Legion.”

However, A350 is unimpressed by his verbal attack. “A518 is a Legion commander. She has a right to share her ideas with us. That is why she is one of us.”

“Your opinion is fundamentally wrong,” A489 hisses back menacingly over the table.

A350 leans casually in her chair and does not respond to this challenge. “Her opinion is new and can help us not to lose control. It is important to adapt to the changing times.”

“The Legion will never lose control.”

“We all hope.”

Although the conversation seems to have ended, they sit still for a moment. Neither wants to be the first to look away, to reveal their weakness. To end the stalemate, another woman speaks. She sits to the right of A350 and is one of the oldest Legion commanders. Her name is A233. The way she clears her throat shows that she is uncomfortable doing this.

“I suppose we can complete the reports in order and come to suggestions for improvement.”

Unsure she looks in my direction. “Would anyone like to start?”

I cannot help but smile in A489’s direction and raise my hand again. If this continues, he will soon stomp the ground in anger. A233 gives me the floor.

“Before, while we were eating, we spoke about the introduction of a common food and an abolition of the tablet supply we now have in the safety zone. I want to come back to this topic. I still believe that a gradual change for the people is essential. We cannot treat them like robots forever.”

I expect A489 to dissent and toss out a contradiction, but instead A566 wishes to speak. He is sitting next to A489. However, unlike A489, he remains calm and objective. “You speak as though we keep the people in the safety zone as prisoners. Have you ever felt caught?”

Everything in me wants to loudly yell, “Yes!” but I cannot. I know that no Legion commander would understand. I did not expect such a direct and personal question, but rather a rejection.

“No, the safety zone is our common home. The people know nothing else and are happy and safe,” I answer truthfully.

“Why would you then change anything about their situation? Are you happy here?”

“I was happy until I saw the world outside the safety zone,” I confess honestly. Maybe this sincerity will surprise the other commanders; I’ve never been good at lying.

“How did you feel?”

His questions are direct. When he is done speaking, there is not a sound in the room.

“I felt cheated.”

Some of the others shake their heads and whisper to each other excitedly. A350 puts a hand on my shoulder and looks at me alarmed. Her eyes plead at me to stay silent.

A566 grins triumphantly. “And yet you’re sitting at a table with us today. Do you see the treason?”