Rage and Redemption (Rebel Angels) (15 page)

“You have been to
Jerusalem
?”

“Nay. I encountered King Louis’ entourage as I traveled and he agreed to use his influence to assist me in my quest. He contacted someone within the Order of St. John and they sent word to the Krak des Chevaliers, and here we are.”

Naomi felt control over her life slipping away. With nobility came responsibilities and obligations. She was free to do as she pleased, free to pursue her work and…she didn’t want to reshape her life according to this stranger’s expectations.

“Surely I was not the only child orphaned in
Jerusalem
that year,” she objected. “What proof do you have that my mother was Esther of Le Puy?”

“Beyond your physical appearance?” he asked with a patient smile. “There is one way to be sure.” He turned to Brother Gabriel. “When Esther was seven she was scalded while helping my mother make soap. She had a scar on her hip and thigh. Did the woman you tend have such a mark upon her person?”

“Aye,” Brother Gabriel said. “She had a rather large scar on her right hip and thigh. It was faded, but it could well have been the scar left behind by a burn.”

Leon
simply nodded.

Naomi knew that Brother Gabriel would never lie to her.
Leon
had no reason to establish a relationship if none existed, but still she held herself back.

“You’re overwhelmed,” Leon said softly. “That was not my intention. I’ll leave you now. Think over what I have said and we will speak again on the morrow.”

“What do you want from me?” she asked as he reached the door.

“I want nothing from you, Naomi. I want only to restore to you what is rightfully yours.”

He bowed and took his leave.

Time stood still. So many thoughts and emotions inundated her mind that she could absorb none of them.

“Are you all right?”

She glanced up, drawn from her shocked stupor by Brother Gabriel’s voice. He stood in front of her, his hands folded together, his expression compassionate and concerned.

“I do not know,” she answered honestly.

“He has no reason to concoct such a tale,” Brother Aaron said, echoing her thoughts. “You are clearly this man’s niece.”

Pressing a hand over her pounding heart, Naomi cleared her throat. “Will he expect me to return with him to
France
? Or was it
England
?”

Brother Aaron shrugged. “It sounds as if you have ties to both. Why does this dishearten you? Anyone else I know would be thrilled.”

Naomi didn’t miss the snap of annoyance in the castellan’s tone. “I am…”

“Overwhelmed as
Leon
said,” Brother Gabriel repeated.

“Have I no choice but to do this man’s bidding?” Worry awakened her numbed senses. “What if I do not wish to leave? I have a life here. I have friends and a purpose. Do I still have a place within the Order of St. John?”

“Are you ready to join the Order of St. John?” Brother Aaron challenged. “You have avoided the commitment for too long already. If you choose to remain, Naomi, we will expect you to take your vows.”

She felt her jaw go slack and snapped it shut.

Men! Why must she be controlled by these men?

Slowly pushing to her feet, she glanced at Brother Gabriel. Turmoil churned within his gaze but he held his peace.

“I understand,” Naomi said stiffly, and left the room.”

“Naomi, I can pass through the door,” Brother Gabriel said. “Bolting it against me serves no purpose.”

Naomi glared at the locked portal and turned back to the scroll she had just secured to the surface of her drawing table. “If it were your intention to intrude upon my privacy, you would have done so by now.”

“You have hidden away since you left us this morning. You need food and you need to speak with someone about your feelings.”

“I have no appetite and my feelings are obviously irrelevant. I will see you on the morrow.”

She heard nothing more for a long moment. Had he finally abandoned his post? Good. The more she thought about Brother Aaron’s ultimatum, the angrier she became.

Turning back to the scroll, she puffed out a frustrated breath. Anything she drew in her present state of mind was bound to be macabre. She interlaced her fingers, put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands.

“If you do not wish to speak to me, I cannot force you. But you need to eat.”

She pivoted on the stool and found Brother Gabriel standing a step back from her table. He proffered a shallow woven bowl.

“Can you walk through walls or is it only wooden doors that prove no barrier?”

“I am able to go where I am needed,” he said.

“You are not needed here.”

“I may not be welcomed but I am needed.”

She took the basket, more because he looked uncomfortable than from any real interest in the food. “What can you do? What can I do? I must make a choice. It is as simple as that.”

“You do not find the choice simple or you would not be upset. Let us move to the supply table. You could spill something on the scroll.”

She laughed at the parental suggestion but followed him across the room. He’d cleared a small space for her basket by the time she reached the table. He quickly brought two stools and in moments they sat facing each other.

Naomi blew a loose lock of hair out of her eyes and looked dispassionately at the contents of the basket. A roasted chicken leg, two thick slices of brown bread and a chunk of yellow cheese.

“Did you bring wine?” she asked.

“Cider.” He nodded toward an earthen pitcher she hadn’t noticed before.

She poured the murky beverage into a cup and waited for his lecture to begin.

“I have no speech prepared. I just know you’re in pain.”

Raising her gaze to his, she asked, “Can you read my thoughts? Can Gideon?”

“I am able to sense basic impressions of your emotional state. Gideon’s abilities are more complicated.”

Her brow arched at his evasion. “Is avoiding direct answers any different than telling outright lies?”

He chuckled. “Apparently. I am able to be evasive but lies cannot pass my lips.”

“Can Gideon read my mind?”

“If he wants to he can hear your thoughts. As I understand it, he must make some sort of mental connection before the thoughts begin to flow. The thoughts of each person around him do not enter his mind. He must intentionally seek them out.”

“I see.” She took a quick sip of the cider. The spicy taste rolled across her tongue, cool and surprisingly welcome.

“Is questioning me about Gideon your way of avoiding what is really troubling you?”

She laughed and took a deeper drink. “Gideon troubles me, make no mistake about that.”

His forehead furrowed and the shards of gold within his eyes grew brighter. “What has he done?”

“Nothing. That’s the problem. I showed him my private scroll and I know he was moved by the drawings. He seemed more conflicted than ever and now he’s avoiding me.”

Gabriel grinned. He all but bounced with his pleasure. “This is wonderful. Do you not see? You stirred his goodness. You touched that place in him that has been hidden for so long. I knew you could do it. I knew you were the—”

“He will retaliate. I sense it. He will come after me as he never has before.”

For a long moment Gabriel just stared at her, searched her features and her gaze. “What do you feel for my brother? What emotions does he stir within you?”

Naomi picked up one of the bread slices and ripped it in half. “All of them.” She expelled a sharp little laugh. “I feel compassion and tenderness, sympathy and pity. Yet he makes me angry and frustrated. I want to understand him yet the thought of fully understanding him is more frightening than anything I have ever imagined.”

“You desire him.”

It was not a question. “He knows I’m attracted to him in the carnal way. I have stopped trying to hide the fact that he fascinates me. That confused him. He expected me to continue to resist.”

Gabriel took the mangled bread and gently squeezed her hands. “You move him in ways no other could. But you’re right. The more successfully you challenge him, the more apt he is to retaliate. Be careful.”

“Brother Gabriel.”

“Aye.”

Could she speak the words? Could she admit her deepest fear? “I… I…” Even with her gaze averted she couldn’t confess the dark cravings Gideon had unleashed within her. “I’ll be careful.”

He kissed her brow. “Shall we speak of
Leon
now?”

“Nay. I meant what I said about that. It is a choice I alone must make. You really cannot help me decide.”

“If you change your mind, call out to me and I will come.”

She expected him to vanish into thin air, but he walked to the door and unlocked it. Disappointed by his conventionality, she quickly slid the bolt back into place after he had departed.

“What did you really want to say to him?” Gideon asked from somewhere behind her.

Naomi closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the door. Why would they not leave her alone?

“‘I will be careful’ is not what you meant to say. ‘I no longer wish to participate in this game’? ‘I want you and your brother to leave me alone’? ‘I’—”

“You’re not as perceptive as you think,” she said, and turned to face him.

Gideon sat on the stool she’d just vacated, one foot propped on the cross rung of the other stool. The evening breeze stirred strands of his loose hair, drawing her attention to his intriguing features and flashing golden eyes.

One dark brow arched at her statement. “Then what were you going to say?”

“How long were you lurking in the shadows, listening to our conversation?”

“Not as long as I should have been if the last few comments are any indication. The more you challenge me, the more likely I am to retaliate? That makes your actions sound just as calculated as mine. Are you trying to challenge me, little girl?”

His gaze swept over her, a silent provocation. Naomi’s skin tingled as if he stroked her with more than the heat of his eyes. Tension gathered low in her abdomen and her breasts ached.

She couldn’t deny his charge. The change in her attitude had been intentional. “I challenge you to look beyond the darkness, to see yourself as I see you.”

He crossed the chamber in three angry strides. Her back bumped against the door. She’d never seen him like this, so obviously tormented.

Bracing his hands against the door, he leaned in until the heat of his body saturated her clothing. He still didn’t touch her.

“And how do you see me?” His gaze focused on her mouth.

“With my heart,” she whispered.

He growled and his arms closed around her. Naomi cried out as the room swirled and the floorboards disintegrated. She wrapped her arms around his back, desperately clinging to him. They fell through space, passing through walls and a dense section of earth before emerging in complete darkness.