Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) (15 page)

Jim
nor
Wade
had ever kissed her like that.

Raining in his heart, that's what
Cade
had said. Yes, rain, that was the word to describe the feelings pouring over her too
, like a soft steady rain
, washing away the unseen tears.
.

She glanced out the church window and saw the sun shining on the lawn.

She shook herself. Normally, she never let emotion cloud her thinking. But this was no normal day. This is the day she buried her father. She had said her goodbyes, and right now that rain in her heart transferred to her eyes as she cried openly.
When a hand reached to comfort from behind,
Julie
jerked herself about to see Cade's compassionate glance.

Letty squeezed her hand.

Kellie
looked lost sitting next to her, her glance sliding from one aunt to another.

Julie
blew her nose and glanced at Letty with a nod.

The hand on her shoulder gave her more comfort than she would like to admit. As though that touch said it would
be
all right.

Cade was a complicated man.
His kiss spoke of coming home, where she belonged
, of drying up all the rain
. But was it all too late?

Was she so shallow she could throw
Jim
away and grab
Cade
?

Maybe it was too late for a lot of things.
A
s the preacher
's voice
echoed through the huge church and she stared at the closed casket of her father, she knew for once she wasn't running away. Come what may she'd face it. Not for the money but for her own sanity.

Guilt played behind every thought, pain filtered through to her heart and a sadness she didn't quite grasp held her prisoner
as the preacher's words hit her hard
.
"You've all come home, the way he wanted
.
"
Kellie
squeezed her hand and
Julie
glanced at her daughter
.
"What are you crying for
,
honey?"

"'Cause I didn't know him, mama
,
"
Kellie
whispered
.
"
He was my grandpa, and I never knew him.
And I wish I had."

The hurt that statement inflicted made
Julie
squirm. How could she ever right all the wrongs of her life?

She'd known others that messed their lives up, but she never once realized what a mess she had created.

Tears welled in
Julie
's eyes, guilt riddled her.
That was her fault.
She didn't know
Cade
either, but there was still time for that, and despite the troubles that might come from it, she knew
Cade
deserved his chance with
Kellie
.
Somehow
,
she had to find a way to broach the subject with
Kellie
and soon
.

Still, her life had changed in one day, s
o d
rastically.

How could one be awakened to so much truth in so little time?

And worst
of
all, how could one deal with it?

But the instinct to protect her child no matter what sprang forward. In her wildest dreams she never thought
Cade
would find out, but he was right, there was just too much of Cade Weston in
Kellie
to deny.
She should have recognized it a long time ago.

In truth,
Ke
llie
longed to be here
, and if
Julie
could face it, she'd admit it.
Kellie
belonged here, she knew that by the quick transformation her daughter had made.
Kellie
had a father that loved her. He knew her one day and he loved his daughter
, for that reason alone
Julie
had begun to look at Cade much differently
. For that even
Julie
marveled at how sensit
ive and caring a man Cade was, a
nd a small part of her loved Cade for that.

She'd misjudged him and she realized that way too late.

Tears ran down
Julie
's cheeks now as the preacher prayed and the choir began to sing. This was her last goodbye to her father, and something inside
Julie
curled up and cried. She missed him.
She wasn't alone
;
all her sisters had tears
,
silent tears running down their cheeks.

She glanced at her sisters and realized they were all very upset and emotional too. She grabbed
her sister's
hand
,
wh
ile Letty grimaced with
a pained expression on her face
, as though holding in the tears was more painful than letting them out
. Letty looked at her, and then the tears ran down her cheeks
for she knew their suffering
and regrets were
mutual
.

Julie
held on to her hand through the rest of the service and Letty didn't seem to mind
, they both drew strength from
it
.

Later that afternoon
,
as people filed in and out of the old ranch house,
Julie
and Letty congregated away from the others. "I should have come home more often
,
" Letty was saying.

Julie
nodded
.
"You too, huh? I know exactly how you feel.
Guilty as charged.
"

"He knows we loved him
,
Julie
…" Letty bit her lip and glanced at
Julie
.
"I just know he did."

"Did he?
He
'd
never even seen
Kellie
…
How could he forgive me that?
"

"Well
,
granted that had to have been hard for him
. He certainly wouldn't have left us all h
is money if he thought ill of us
.
He'd have left us out
,
I certainly expected him to.
" Letty reasoned.
"And as for
Kellie
…I'm sure you had your reasons."

"You know, yesterday, when I heard them say I was his real daughter too, I was shocked.
I can't imagine why he never told me. Especially
when I left and didn't come back.
Then again when I heard his stipulation. But now I feel I owed him that much, you know?"

Letty nodded
.
"I know…"

Julie
glanced away
.
"It's good being home, Letty. I know I
’
m going to have some problems about it, but it's good to be home…"
Julie
sighed heavily.
"I only wish I'd come home sooner."

"Don't worry…I'll help you as much as I can
,
" Letty promised.

"Thanks, I don't deserve that, but thanks."

"Hey
…
" Letty winked. "What are sisters for?"

Julie
stared into her eyes
.
"I got a feelin' we're going to be up a lot of nights in the next year."

Letty grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

Wendy
came over and glanced at the two of them
.
"What have you two got your heads together about?"

Julie
thought about that a minute and replied, "Looks like we are gonna be a family again."

Wendy
smiled and grabbed them both for a hug.
"Dad would have liked that.
I can't think of anything he'd have liked more.
And I guess he's finally getting his wish for us to all be together again.
"

***

"You've got to be kidding me,
you're
moving back h
ome?
Possibly losing the most fantastic
job, not to mention a fiancé
e
that is very concerned?"
Jim
frowned, his understanding not showing. He ran his finger around the back of his collar as though vetting steam.
One of the secretary's passed and gave him the eye.
Julie
noticed. She also noticed how
Jim
winked at her too. Had he always flirted with the others in the
office and why was she just now noticing this
?
And why, oh why did it
not
bother her?

"It's not like I have a choice,
Jim
."

"Of course you do.
You always have and you've always resisted that choice before.
You are self-
sufficient and so am I
.
We don't need this.
Yeah, I guess it would be a temptation and all…but…
"
Jim
insisted.
"
I've always respected you because you never flaunted being kin to one of the richest men in Texas.
But that's not the worst of it
,
I'm not sure I could handle being married to one of the richest women in Texas.
Next thing you know we'd be signing pre-nupt
i
als.
"

"Well, I
’
m sorry,
but he was my father, and
I'm entitled to what I get from him. I'm his real daughter. Otherwise I might agree with you. Besides, too much money is at stake
,
"
Julie
insisted.
"And my daughter's entire future might rest on it.
I certainly wouldn't deprive her of it.
"

"Are you serious about all of this?"
Jim
asked.
"Just because he proved you his daughter doesn't mean everything has to change.
You're allowing it to.
"

"Proving I was his daughter gave me roots I never had. It was monumental
, a
t least to me.
You wouldn't understand that coming from a model family like yours.
"

"That's what's wrong
with that? I think
you are still in shock
,
"
Jim
insisted.
"You haven't had time to think this through.
You're reacting with emotions, not good sense.
One of the things I most respected about you was your good sense and your independence, not needing anyone.
"

"All of this is my future, my daughter's future. I have to return or forfeit the money that is mine. And it's not like it's a few dollars,
Jim
. It could mean our entire future."

"
I make plenty of money to support us,
Julie
, and you know it.
What about our future
?"
Jim
asked
,
whirling around to face her.
"I make a very good annual income here
;
I'd be a fool to leave it."

"
I'm not asking you to leave it. But I have no choice.
It's only a year."
Julie
tried to persuade him to see reason.

"Only a year.
They don't put jobs like yours on hold,
Julie
.
Do you have any idea how much you ask of me as it is?"

"Ask of you?
What exactly do I ask of you?"
Julie
whirled to face him.

"
You are a woman with a half
-
grown daughter
, for God's sake
. Most men wouldn
’
t deal with that. Now you ask me to wait a year. What more can I do to prove how much I love you?
"

"Are you trying to say that marrying me, with
Kellie
along
,
is too much baggage?"
Julie
's brow shot upward in a condescending way.