Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) (16 page)

"Well, no…
I've never thought of it that way until now,
but most men like to think they'll have their new wife to themselves for a while before they deal with kids. And she'll soon be a teenager."

Julie
shook her head, and folded her arms over her chest. "I'm certainly glad this happened,
Jim
. I never realized. I guess I was blinded by your passion. You don't want
Kellie
in this marriage bargain
,
do you?
Well
, do you?"

"I knew you'd take it that way…
Good grief
,
why are you pinning this all on me
?
I'm not the one changing all their plans. And besides,
she's not exactly in love with me either, or hadn't you noticed?
"

Julie
's eyes narrowed.

"
A lot can happen in a year,
Julie
. What about your job here?"
Jim
asked.
"How can you throw that away, as hard as you worked for it?
Don't tell me that doesn't mean something to you. As much as we've discussed it.
"

"
Jim
, I realize it all seems a bit much, but one year could make a huge difference in how we live for
the next thirty or forty years. This will make me one of the richest women in Texas one day
,
"
Julie
insisted.
"That's a lot to give up."

"I'm not interested in how rich you will be.
You leave the company, you leave me
,
"
Jim
insisted.
"
Julie
,
look at yourself. Money was never the object. Now it suddenly is."

"
Money isn't the object no
w. But I am returning home
Jim
and
I guess our engagement should be called off for the time being
,
"
Julie
insisted, twisting the huge diamond on her finger for a moment.
"
It's funny, you think it's all about the money, and you couldn't be more wrong. But…
I never realized how much our relationship hung on our jobs.
Maybe this will give us both some thinking time.
"

"It's not that, exactly. But we've discussed our careers and ambitions. I thought we saw things the same way, but apparently not. Maybe
you are right, maybe
we should call the engagement off for now.
"
Jim
agreed too readily.

Julie
's eyes widened as she stared at him
.
"You mean that
,
don't you
?
"

Jim
nodded and turned away.

Julie
slipped the ring off and pushed
it
into his hand until it made an impression.

"You're going to regret this
,
Julie
,
"
Jim
insisted
,
still not looking at her.

"Will I?"
A
nd she marched out of his office and down
the hall
.
"Yesterday I would have said you were right, but today I'm not so sure.
Goodbye
,
Jim
,
"
s
he called over her shoulder.

***

"You mean it, you and
Jim
broke up?"
Kellie
hollered when her mother told her.

"Yes, we did, honey."
Julie
suddenly sympathized with her daughter. "I guess that makes you happy, doesn't it?"

Kellie
bent her head,
and fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt.
"Not really, mama. Just because I didn't like him
doesn't mean you didn't.
I don't want to see you sad."

Julie
grabbed
Kellie
and pulled her to hug
.
"You are the sweetest for that. Especially since
I know you didn't like him
."

"I'm not even sure why I didn't like him
,
"
Kellie
cried and hugged her mother close
r. "
I guess because he made me feel in the way a lot.
But I don't want you to be sad
."

"I'm not
sad
, my eyes have been opened is all. Sometimes it takes something like this to open your eyes. Remember that, when you have a boyfriend."

"I will…I promise."
Kellie
squeezed her.

"Are you excited about moving?" her mother asked
as she moved about Kellie's room checking to see if s
he had packed most of her stuff
yet
.

"I can't wait to be around all those horses, every day
."
Kellie
smiled. "A
re you excited
too, Mom
?"

Julie
moved about the room, glancing at how fast
Kellie
was packing. "In some ways I am. There's a lot of things to be taken care of
:
my job, the apartment, things like that, but it will all work out, I
’
m sure of it."

She wanted to talk to
Kellie
about her father, but how could she begin?
Was it the right time? Dare she wait?
"Well, we've got to get back there tonight, so we'd better hurry and pack. I'll come back on a weekend and take care of the rent and moving arrangements."

"I packed lots of clothes
."
Kellie
smiled.

"Honey, there are a lot of things I want to talk to you about, but right now, we've got a lot to do, and I
’
m already exhausted. We'll have plenty of time to talk there, so let's get busy and get out of here
,
"
Julie
prodded.

"Okay mom, I'm with you.
"

Chapter
Nine

"
Kellie
,
I've got something very important to talk to you about.
Unfortunately, I'm not at all sure how to begin
,
"
Julie
was saying as she adjusted her sunglasses in the rearview mirror
, and chewed on her bottom lip
.
Her insides were shaking, she wasn't sure she should do this right now, but better from her than Cade.

"Okay shoot, I'm listening
.
"
Kel
lie
pulled the plug
on her
ipod.
Kellie
glanced at her
.
"My friend Marty says the best way to say something is to spit it out…"

"
Spit it out, huh?
Well, it's very complicated what
I want to talk to you
about
,
to
be honest with you
,
"
Julie
began.
"We've never talked about this much and I-I guess it's time.
You're old enou
gh now and we can't put it off much longer
.
Although I think you are still too young to understand.
And I'm not at all sure I can explain it so you do understand.
Bu
t I feel
I
have to say something now, before it's too late. I
knew this time would come
, and I still don't know exactly how to say what I must.
I've rehearsed it over and over in my mind, but it never comes out the way I want it to.
"

"Gee, you're so serious
,
Mom
…"
Kellie
glanced at the serious face of her mother.

"
Kellie
,
I've wronged you in many ways by not taking you home to meet your grandfather, and not talking to you about your father all along. Now
…
it's time. In fact, it may be too late. But…
I want to tell you about your father…"

That got her attention,
Julie
noticed as she sat up straight and stared at her mother.
The fact that they had rarely talked about the subject was enough to warrant her attention, but
Julie
wasn't sure she knew how to tell her. What if
Kellie
hated her? What if she lost her?

"You do?"
Kellie
's eyes got big and round.

"I do…"
Julie
let out a little sigh. "
The reason it has taken me so long to talk about him, is that I wanted you to be old enough to understand, at least some of it.
The whole thing is kind of complicated.
"

"And you think I'm old enough now?"
Kellie
smiled.

"
No, I don't, but it won't wait any longer.
And…
it's something we must talk about.
You've been more than patient with me about it.
It's something I should have started doing a long time ago.
"

"I've sorta got my own ideas about him now. I've decided he
must not have liked kids
and ran off."

"Oh
,
darling…that's not it
,
"
Julie
cried.
"
I really didn't want you to think that. It wasn't that way at all. He loves you."

"How do you know, have you seen him or something?"

"Yes, and he's seen you."

"He has?"

"
We should have talked about all of this sooner, I can see that now. You've got the
wro
ng impression of your father. It wasn't his fault, not at all."

"I don't understand
;
he's never been in our life, Mama.
Isn't that his fault?
"

"
That is easy to answer…
Because he didn't know, darling, not until the other night at the ranch."

Kellie
sat quiet
for
a moment
,
absorbing her words like a sponge.

"He works at grandpa's ranch?"
Kellie
's eyes got big.

"Yes, you remember the man who let you watch the birthing of the calf?"

"He's my father?"
Kellie
's eyes were huge.
"Cade Weston is my father?"

"Yes, he's your father."

The words hung in the air like a kite about to fall.

"Cade
Weston
…he's my…father?"
Kellie
's eyes rounded on her.
A frown climbed
Kellie
's face.

"Yes darling, he's your father."
Julie
let the words out of her mouth in a long gasping sigh.

"B-but…why didn't he say something…?"
Kellie
demanded.
"He's a nice man. Why didn't he tell me?"

"He couldn't, he didn't know until I told him.
At least not for sure
,
"
Julie
explained.
Just from her expression
Julie
could tell her daughter didn't understand any of this.

"He didn't know?"
Kellie
exclaimed.
"All this time he didn't know?
He saw me and he still didn't know?
"

"No darling,
he's as innocent as you have been about it. B
ut I want to tell you, he took one look at you and knew you were kin to him."
Julie
g
lanced at her stunned daughter. "But…you see
,
he thought you were his niece."

"
Oh
wow
,
now I really
don't understand…"
Kellie
admitted but shot her mother a baffling glance.

"It's all my fault,
Kellie
. And I hope someday you can forgive me for it. But it all began a long time ago.
When I thought I was in love with
Wade
Weston
…
your father's twin brother.
"