Raising Kane (27 page)

Lorelei James

“Your phone’s been ringing a lot tonight.”

“You’re right. This’ll fix it.” Brandt reached over and shut the phone off.

Jessie McKay paced in the kitchen in her tiny rented trailer. “Come on, pick up,” she muttered as she switched the position of her cell phone to her other ear. Voice mail clicked on for the fifth time and she snapped the phone shut.

“Dammit, Brandt. Where are you?” She’d had a lousy day and needed someone to vent to. Brandt never minded listening to her complain, but he’d been pretty scarce since the night he’d invited her home with him. She’d chalked up his uncharacteristic moon-eyed behavior to the fact he’d been drinking before he showed up. The poor man was probably embarrassed for making a pass at her.

She took the pot pie out of the microwave and dropped it on the lace placemat on the table. One placemat. On days like today, when it seemed like everything in the world had gone wrong, seeing that lone placemat, when there used to be two, could bring on a fit of tears like nobody’s business.

Don’t be a crybaby, Jessie.

How many times had she heard that? From her father? From Luke?

Too many to count. But really, who’d know if she sobbed at her dinette table like a lost little girl? She felt like one most days. It wasn’t as if she had friends to confide in since moving to Moorcroft. She’d started to make friends with the women she worked with at Sky Blue, but that wasn’t a good way to cement a friendship, by whining about how sucky her life was.

Jessie didn’t have family to count on either, unless she counted Brandt, but he was Luke’s kin, not hers, and then she was back to wondering why he’d started ignoring her calls.

Maybe because you call him all the time.

So?
Her surly side countered.
He’s my friend. Friends call each other.

Yeah? How many times has your “friend” called you?

Jessie frowned. Brandt had called her…hadn’t he? Curious, she flipped open her phone and checked received calls. Two calls from her boss at Sky Blue. Twenty-seven from Brandt in the last month.

See? He calls me.

All the calls were in response to you calling him first. How many times have
you
called him?

She scrolled down to the Dialed option. One hundred fifty-two outgoing calls. In the last two months… Holy crap. Only ten of those calls had been to someone other than Brandt McKay.

She’d called him one hundred and forty-two times in the last two months.

Hot mortification rolled through her like acid. My God. Why had she called Brandt that many times?

Because you’re lonely. Because you know that Brandt is missing Luke too.

So why was it Luke didn’t come up in their conversations very often?

158

www.samhainpublishing.com

Raising Kane

He does. It’s one-sided on your part. You insist on extolling Luke’s virtues, you talk about how much
you miss him and Brandt just lets you ramble.

A little dismayed by that thought, she recalled the last few times she’d seen Brandt.

He’d helped her unload hay.

He’d helped her deal with the dead battery in her truck.

He’d helped her fix the broken door on the barn.

He’d helped her unload more hay.

He’d shown up when she’d had plumbing issues.

Except he’d refused to do anything. And yeah, maybe she’d been a little upset about it at the time, his reluctance to fix the problem for her lickety split. But when she’d thought it through the next day, she understood Brandt wasn’t a miracle worker with everything.

That was the first time that’d happened since Luke died; Brandt McKay encountered a problem that he couldn’t fix for her.

Or maybe it was one he
wouldn’t
fix?

Jessie grabbed a beer from the fridge and started to pace again. Angry at Luke for dying. Angry with herself for doing exactly what she’d sworn she wouldn’t the day Casper McKay had kicked her off their land: rely on a man. And worst of all, the man she’d come to rely on was another McKay.

Would she never learn? She slumped against the wall and swallowed a big gulp of beer. The aftertaste made her shiver with disgust and she looked at the bottle. Why the hell was she still drinking Coors? She didn’t even like Coors—it’d been Luke’s favorite beer, not hers.

Poor, pathetic doormat Jessie. She hadn’t even mustered the guts during her marriage to buy the kind of beer she liked. She’d gone along with whatever Luke wanted because…

Why? She thought he’d love her more if she never rocked the boat? She was afraid he’d leave her, like her father had left her mother? Her “Yes, dear” attitude hadn’t mattered one whit. Luke had left her anyway—maybe not bodily, but the last six months of their marriage had been sheer hell because he’d never been around. Too busy shacking up with some bimbo. Probably she’d stocked Luke’s favorite beer, too, in hopes of keeping him around.

Hah. That hadn’t worked for her either. Luke was dead to both of them.

A burst of anger surfaced and she threw that half-empty bottle across the room and it shattered against the wall.

Her dog whimpered and hid behind the easy chair.

You are the clingiest girl I ever met. Jesus, Jessie, can you just let me do some things on my own? We
ain’t joined at the hip. We don’t gotta do everything together just because we’re married.

Yeah, that mindset had worked out well for him, especially since he’d encouraged her to dump her

“lowlife” friends after their wedding, promising they’d make new friends. Couple friends.

www.samhainpublishing.com

159

Lorelei James

That’d never happened. Why? Because Luke never allowed it to happen. Luke had called all the shots from day one. And she’d been so freakin’ happy to have Luke McKay’s attention that she would’ve danced naked around the Sundance flagpole if he’d asked her.

More fury raced through her.

Let it go, Jessie. No man wants a wife who’s a shrew. No man wants a wife who nags, yells, cries and
whines all the damn time. No wonder I’m not here as much as you like. You’re drivin’ me away.

Funny, how whenever she’d stuck up for herself Luke considered her a shrew, but if he put his boot down and ended the discussion, he was just being the man of the house, not a controlling asshole.

Something inside her shifted and shattered.

“You fucking self-centered prick. You set this all up from the beginning, didn’t you? Having the perfect little doormat wife at home, cooking your meals, washing your clothes, making nice with your asshole father, doing your ranch chores, trying to get pregnant to birth your babies. While you were out fucking any woman that looked your way.”

Jessie slid to the floor and started to cry. Not tears of grief for a change. Granted, it wasn’t the first time she’d shed tears over Luke—not even the first time today, but goddammit, it’d be the last. As she cried, the rage built to the point she tipped her head to the ceiling and screamed, “I’m done with you, you cheating bastard! You hear me? Done. You and your whole rotten goddamn family can go straight to hell.”

She sobbed. Lexie slunk next to her and licked her hand. That made her cry harder. Bringing Lexie home as a surprise gift was the one nice thing Luke had ever done for her.

Eventually her cries quieted. Her eyes dried because she literally had no more tears. She’d cried herself out. Jessie dragged herself up from where she’d curled into a ball on the floor. She ate, showered and decided to wear her nicest jeans and her favorite shirt, rather than lounging around in ratty sweats. She styled her hair, put on makeup, feeling foolish because really? Who would see her tonight besides her dog?

Don’t make yourself look good for a man. Make yourself look good for yourself for a change. You can
change.

Whoa. That was a new voice inside her head offering advice. Good advice.

She’d just sat and turned on the TV when her cell phone rang on the kitchen counter.

Her first thought:
Finally! Brandt called me back.

Her second thought:
He can suck it. I’m done with him.

Jessie sighed and stood, promising herself she wouldn’t answer if it was Brandt. But it wasn’t. The caller ID read: Keely McKay.

She smiled. She adored Keely. The woman was fun, funny, smart, sweet, sassy and she didn’t take shit from any man, especially none with the last name McKay. Although Jessie knew Keely had been beyond busy in the last year, Keely always made a point to check in with her to see how she was holding up.

160

www.samhainpublishing.com

Raising Kane

“Hello?”

“Jessie! I was hopin’ you were around. What are you doin’ right now?”

Sitting around all dressed up with no place to go.
“Not much. What’s up?”

“Well, I’m in Moorcroft with a few members of my new dart league team. Guess what? We just kicked the crap outta the Moorcroft Deadly Tips dart team, and we are seriously in the mood to celebrate.

And I thought, Jessie lives close, I’ll see if she’s in the party mood.”

“Where are you?”

“Ziggy’s. Come on down. It’ll be fun.”

“You surrounded by hot cowboys?”

Keely laughed. “Absolutely. And I’ve even got a designated driver lined up so if we get shitfaced, we have a ride.”

Jessie froze. Sometimes Keely cajoled her McKay male cousins into helping her outwit her five older brothers, since they continued to treat Keely like a twelve-year-old girl. She also knew Brandt had gotten roped into being Keely’s cohort on several occasions. “Who’s lined up as your DD?”

The phone rattled as Keely spoke to someone else. “Hey, darlin’, what’s your name again? Robbie?

My new friend Robbie,” Keely cooed, “has a tryout early tomorrow morning for a team ropin’ event, and he’s not drinkin’ tonight, so he’ll be our DD as long as we dance with him until closing time.” Keely whispered, “He’s hot, Jess, like really freakin’ hot, and he loves to dance as much as you do. You should come and check him out.”

She hesitated.

“Please? I haven’t seen you in forever. I’m only in town this one night. When was the last time you went out and had fun?”

“It’s been a long damn time, Keely.”

“Then I say you’re past due to cut loose.”

Years past due. Jessie glanced at her reflection in the window glass above the sink. She didn’t look half-bad for a twenty-six-year-old widow. She wasn’t ready for any kind of intimate relationship, not even a one-night stand, but it’d do her good to make friends in the community. It’d do her good to start her life again.

If you don’t grab this opportunity, you’ll regret it.

Every journey started with one step. It was past time to stop living in the past.

“Okay, you convinced me. But you’re buying the first round.”

www.samhainpublishing.com

161

Two weeks later…

More snow.

Kane sipped his coffee and stared out the window to the sea of whiteness. He’d promised Colt he’d pick up a load of cake—supplemental cattle feed—before they all got busy with calving season. Best to wait to see if the road conditions improved before he loaded up the trailer.

On his way to the bedroom, he nearly tripped over Shep, stretched out in the middle of the floor. Shep slunk toward the door.

“Ready to go out?”

His tail thumped.

Kane petted his head. After the dog lumbered outside, Kane started his computer. Might as well get something accomplished besides pining for Ginger.

Man. He was so whipped over that woman. Seriously fucking whipped. It was a no-brainer they both enjoyed their explosive sexual chemistry, but they’d clicked out of bed too. Things had changed between them since they’d gotten snowed in. Sure, they’d kept up their lunch dates during the week, but two out of the four times they’d been together, they hadn’t even had sex. They’d had…lunch.

And the hell of it was, he hadn’t minded. He liked talking to her. Laughing with her. Making sandwiches with her. Ginger hadn’t invited him over for supper again, but she’d tagged along when he’d taken Hayden to the rodeo, although the twisty drive had made her sick. They exchanged text messages several times a day.

As much as Kane wanted to push their relationship to the next level—telling family they were a couple—in some ways, he liked romancing her in secret.

He focused on updating the cattle records. By the time he’d finished and glanced at the clock, he realized two hours had passed. Kade would be along soon.

Shit. He’d forgotten about Shep. Kane returned to the living room and opened the front door, seeing one set of tracks leading away from the house, but he couldn’t see beyond the carport. Feeling guilty, he donned his winter weather gear and trudged outside.

First place he checked was the barn. “Shep? Come on out. I know you’re probably pissed off and hungry.” He checked the stalls and the tack room. No sign of the dog in his usual spots. Kane checked them all twice.

Raising Kane

Although the sun wasn’t shining, the white reflection of the snow made everything blindingly bright.

After he retrieved his sunglasses from his truck, he followed the tracks leading away from the house. They were scattered pell-mell as if the dog had sniffed everything in sight. Around the tractor, to the gate leading to the pasture, to the stock tank. But no sign of him.

Kane hunkered deeper into his coat against the icy blast of wind. He would’ve worn his Carhartt coveralls if he’d thought he was going on a wild dog chase.

He called out, “Shep?”

No answering bark.

The tracks morphed into a straight line, rather than the random sniff and explore variety he’d been seeing. Snow eddied around him, cutting visibility. He hurried. He’d have to find the dog before the elements erased the tracks.

Kane stopped to catch his breath and looked back to see how far he’d gone. He was maybe a quarter mile from his trailer. He spun back around, taking in the dark outline of the lone cottonwood tree, an anomaly out here on the high plains. The big tree towered above the gnarled scrub oaks clustered in ravines. A creek popped up in the spring and trickled through the shallow gouge in the earth before summer heat returned it to a dry creek bed again. It’d always been one of Shep’s favorite places. He’d lounge in the shade while keeping an eye on the cattle drinking at the stock tank.