Rare and Precious Things (21 page)

“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say to him. Lance had lost his leg, and despite our painful history, I still felt sympathy about what had happened. It was as if my brain just couldn’t turn the “empathetic” part off completely. It was still plugged in, grinding away, churning up emotions and memories from long ago.
Lance Oakley just followed me into my elevator and told me how he’s been waiting for me to come out.
My appointment had lasted an hour and a half with all the waiting in the lobby, and then more waiting in the examination room. Why would he hang around for an hour and a half? I gave a mental
fuck it
and asked, “So why did you wait for me, Lance?”

“I told you before, at the hospital, but you didn’t come back.” He looked down at the floor and then back up at me. “I know it’s way too much for me to ask, but, Brynne, I really need t
o talk to you. The question is, will you talk to me?”

“I heard what you whispered to me in your hospital bed, but I don’t know if I can.” And I truly didn’t know. Part of me was curious as to why he wanted to tell me he was sorry for what he’d done. Honestly
, I was completely thrown for a loop by the whole thing. Lance coming to apologize was never on the menu of possibilities in my mind. Never ever. So when he appeared before me, as he was in the elevator, looking very sincere, I was really struggling with seeing him again. I instinctively put my hand over my belly.

The elevator door dinged and opened. I stepped out and he followed me
into the lobby, his limped gait very pronounced from his injury, making me feel awkward and completely confused about what to do.

“I understand.” He nodded sadly. “I—I know you’re pregnant…and I don’t want to upset you or anything, but—
” He stopped talking and lifted a hand in defeat.

“But what, Lance?”
I wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily. He approached me, so I figured he should explain.

“You don’t owe me anything, Brynne. I don’t want to hurt you or disrupt your life, but it really bothers me that you don’t know the truth about me—about what happened that night.”

“Umm…well, I know what happened to me, Lance. I saw it on video.” I looked away, unable to face him when I said the last word.

“I know,” he said softly. “I am so sorry for hurting you, and I’d like the chance to explain myself.” He blew out a deep breath. “I do know a little about what you’ve been through. Your mother told me some of it when I tried to contact you, but your dad wouldn’t let me see you at all, and then you went away to New Mexico. I accepted that you probably couldn’t see me, so I stayed away from you on purpose. I was in Iraq
, anyway,” he said bitterly. After a moment of silence he continued, “I—I heard about your dad’s passing. I remember how close you were to him. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

My goddamn tears will be the death of me
. I swiped at my eyes and tried to pull it together so I could make it out of this building and not look like I’d been crying if Ethan showed up. Or Len.

In fact, Len
was walking right toward me now, with the look on his face that meant my meeting with Lance was at an end.

Lance saw him too.

“I—I’m sorry, I have to go now. Lance, good luck,” I said lamely. I had nothing else to give him. I felt empty and confused. I wanted Ethan.

“All right.”
He looked at me stoically, and nodded one time. Then he pressed a card into my hand. “Please think about it,” he whispered, before turning and walking away, his uneven step a tangible sign of just how much Lance Oakley had changed in the last seven years.

I
told Len to drop me in Knightsbridge so I could do my shopping. There was no way I could go home at that point. I needed to clear my head and process my feelings. One thing was certain—I didn’t want to share with Ethan about my meeting with Lance. It would only upset him and make him territorial, and that wouldn’t do him, or me, any good. I should call Dr. Roswell though and get an earlier appointment. I needed impartial advice, and Ethan would be anything but impartial. I still didn’t know where he was or why he’d missed my check-up today, I thought glumly, feeling sorry for myself.

I went through the motions of selecting gifts for people, determinedly focusing on one simple task so I complete it. A silk robe for my mother in traitorous yellow seemed appropriate. It was really quite beautiful and she would probably love it. If I had them ship direct
ly from the store, it might even make its way to her in time for Christmas. I didn’t know how I felt about my mom right now, especially after Lance’s confession that he’d spoken to her about me years ago. I wondered how that conversation had gone. Did she know something I didn’t know? The niggling of doubt scratched at me like a persistent itch. His card was in my purse. His number was there. I could call him and ask, and he would probably tell me.

We’d only spoken one time since our blowout conversation. I wondered how disappointed she was that my former boyfriend’s father was now the Vice President, and could realistically be the President one day.
Must be a bitter pill for her. If I’d sucked up what Lance did to me all those years ago, I guess she’d hoped we might reconcile in time. I believed it was the reason she resented Ethan so much. She knew her plans were blown and there wouldn’t be any fancy White House parties for her to attend. I’d been snatched away by a Brit who didn’t give a
maiden queen’s first fuck
—direct from his mouth—if Lance Oakley’s father was emperor of the motherfucking world, let alone a US political figure. Ethan had impregnated me, and married me; even my mother could see that her fantasy was nothing but dust in the wind. Those two were like gasoline and matches ready to combust when they were forced together anyway. So sad for me. She would be my child’s grandmother and couldn’t stand the sight of my husband.

My phone chirped. Finally, I thought as I dug it out of my purse.
Unknown number?
Baby I’m so sorry missed ur appt. Long story. w/o my mobile atm. This is Sarah Hasting’s mobile I’m using. Where r u now? xoE

Sarah Hasting’s?
I knew exactly who she was. And thought it very strange that Ethan was with her when he should have been with me. I remembered how upsetting her presence had been for him at the wedding, thus my concern about her trying to dig her claws into him to soothe her grief. I respected the military loyalty, but it wasn’t fair for Ethan to suffer more because of her loss. If she was guilting him into talking about her husband I would have to set the woman straight. I felt myself bristle as I replied to his text, but remembered that it wasn’t Ethan’s phone that would receive my message, so I kept it neutral. But I made sure to add Sarah’s number into my contacts, before I answered him.
It’s fine. I’m at Harrod’s xmas shopping. Len is here w/ me. –B

He answered me right away.
On my way to find you now. Meet at Sea Grill? E

Well, if you say so, Mr. Blackstone, I thought, as I replied with an
abrupt:
ok
.
I tried to temper my irritation but something just felt off to me, and once again, my insecurities rushed to the surface to fill me with doubt.

I paid for my pu
rchases and handed the loot over to Len who would get it all home for me. Then I arranged for gift wrap and delivery of my mother and Frank’s gifts with the concierge, and headed down to the Sea Grill to wait for Ethan.

I sipped my cranberry tea in the restaurant and ruminated about my weird day. Remembering the card Lance had pressed upon
me; I pulled it out and studied it. Cell phone and email on the front, along with his name and US Army contact info. I turned it over and saw a handwritten message I hadn’t noticed before.
Please
let me make it right, Brynne.

I looked up and saw Ethan had arrived and was making his way over to my table, a large bouquet of
lavender flowers in his hand. Shoving Lance’s card away quickly, I wondered just how guilty my husband was feeling, deciding he needed to bring flowers as a peace offering.

I should appreciate his gesture, I scolded myself.

Except I didn’t.

“SO what happened to you?” she asked, her eyes giving nothing away as to the nature of her true feelings. The flowers were accepted and sniffed appreciatively, but we were in public and Brynne was reserved. Maybe she really felt like bashing the whole lot over my head.
You fucked up.
All I could do was hope she’d forgive me for my massive cock-up.

“I left the flat this morning sans my mobile. Sorry ’bout that.”

“That is not like you, Ethan.” She didn’t look up from her menu when she spoke.
Yeah…you’re in the shithouse.

“No, it isn’t. I’m afraid I was distracted when I left.”

“And why was that?” She turned her menu over, studying it as if it were a rare book in the British Library Collection.

I desperately wished I’d had a chance for a smoke before racing over here. “Well, I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure I would be accepted
”—she set down her menu and finally looked up at me—“but I had my first consultation with a Dr. Wilson at the Combat Stress Centre this morning.” Brown eyes stared at me from across the table. “Right, well…the centre is all the way out in Surrey, and I was leaving the offices to come meet you for Dr. B’s appointment, and ran into Sarah. She uses the CSC as well. I was hideously late by that point, and had no way to reach you, so I borrowed Sarah’s mobile—”

“—
You found someone?” she interrupted, her face now full of the spark and fire I loved to see. I felt instantly better.

I nodded
. “I did, baby. I’m giving Dr. Wilson a crack at me.”

She reached her hand across the table. “I’m so glad.
So glad
to hear you telling me this, Ethan. It’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” she said, pulling my hand up to her cheek.

I sensed something more than my tardiness was worrying my girl. “Why? Did everything go all right at Dr. B’s? Anything I need to know, Brynne?”

She pursed her lips and slowly rocked her head from side to side. “Nothing to report from Dr. B. Twenty-nine-week-old, acorn-squash baby, growing steady. All systems still a go.” She gave me a slow wink.

That’s my sexy girl.
“So, you’re saying Dr. B is still my best mate?” She laughed at me silently, loving to tease me about cutting me off. It was funny—and it wasn’t. We’d just have to be more creative when the time came to drop the sex. I could stand it if I had her close by me, to touch, and to smell. Intimacy was so much more than just gettin’ off. I’d learned this lesson well in the short time since I’d found my Brynne.

“Yes, he’s still your friend. But, I want to know
about your visit to the Combat Stress Centre.” She smiled at me, completely back to her bright happy self. “Tell me about Dr. Wilson. I want to know everything.”

How can I tell you everything, my beautiful darling? How? How can I
ever do that to you?

I wished I could tell her everything, but I
doubted I would ever be able to.

24th December

London

“SHE’S
beautiful, she’s smart, she’s sexy as hell, and she’s brilliant with the nosh.” I came up behind her and plastered myself against her body as she worked at the countertop from the kitchen. “Treats everywhere,” I said, snagging a sugar biscuit in the shape of a bird and popping it in my mouth. “Sweets, and…you.” I grabbed a handful of her arse and gave a squeeze as the buttery confection melted away in my mouth.

“Thief,” she said.

“You love me in spite of my thievery.” I nuzzled my nose at the back of her ear.

“I do, it’s true. The very first thing you thieved was my heart,” she said, turning to meet my lips for a sweet kiss, “and I don’t ever want it back.”

“Good thing, because it’s all mine,” I muttered before plundering between her lips with my tongue.

“And you say the nicest things to me.”

“But they’re all true,” I said, gathering her to face me, my hands loosely clasped low at her back. “You are beautiful.” Another deep kiss. “Wickedly smart.” I dragged my lips down her jaw and to her neck. “So sexy you make me burn.” I moved my mouth lower to cleavage that was growing by the day. “And a most accomplished kitchen-witch.” I ground my hips forward into hers, giving her a good feel of exactly how much I
appreciated
all of her talents.

“ONE
year ago today we passed each other in an aquarium shop, having no idea we would come to this place in our lives together.” I ran my fingers over Ethan’s arm as we lay sprawled on the sofa on our sides, watching the lights on the tree framed by the city lights of London. “Did you remember?”

“Oh,
yeah. I’ve remembered very well ever since the day we figured it out. Every time I look at Simba in his tank, I remember.” He rubbed my belly in a circle, his hands touching me anywhere he could comfortably reach in our position. “And especially with my birthday present, which is perfect by the way. I’m sure even Simba agrees.”

“I’
m glad you like her, baby. You’re a hard fellow to buy for. Dory is the perfect girlfriend for Simba though, and he definitely needed a good woman to keep him in line.”

He chuckled. “Just like me.”

“That’s right, but you still went way overboard for my birthday. You buy me a luxury car and I get you a new fish.”

“I love my
new fish,” he said indignantly, “a blue tang for my birthday was my greatest desire.”

I laughed at his silliness, loving that my serious guy could joke and tease with me so easily. Despite his life experiences, Ethan was blessed with a wonderful sense of humor that
I cherished in him. He could make me laugh as easily as he could make me burn hot. A uniquely talented man.

“So, really, today is
sort of an anniversary for us when you think about it,” I said.

“
One year.” He inhaled heavily at my neck. “I didn’t even get a good look at you, but I do remember your purple hat and scarf, and of course, how taken you were by the Christmas Eve snowstorm.”

Considering it was winter and we were naked on the living room sofa, I was surprised at
how warm I felt, with absolutely no uncomfortable chill in the room. Hot thumping sex and a radiating furnace plastered against my backside, in the form of my husband, worked wonders, apparently. “Well, the snow was magically beautiful, and you’ve got to understand—a Christmas snowfall for a Cali girl is probably a once in a lifetime occurrence.”

“You never know, now that you live here, it might snow again some Christmas.” His lips brushed the back of my neck.

“True.” I shivered under his lips making trails on my naked skin. “I also remember being jealous of the woman who got to smell you all the time, and it’s funny, but I didn’t look at you, either. If I had, I would’ve known you the night of Benny’s show.”

He kissed along the top of my shoulder.
“Ben’s show—best night of my life.”

“Not for me,” I said, snuggling more deeply against
him. “I’m pretty sure right now is the best night of my life.”

“Mmmm…you don’t mind we aren’t out at some party tonight being festive for the season?”

“Um, no, not at all. Besides, we’ll have a full day of it tomorrow at your dad’s house.”

“I rather
wish we’d spent Christmas at Stonewell instead of here,” he said softly, one hand sliding up my torso to fondle a breast, lifting the weight and circling the nipple. “But we couldn’t have done this…so, maybe not.”

I laughed at his logic. “Yeah, buckets of paint and power tools pose a problem for finding comfortable places to
maneuver a shag.” We’d actually considered spending the holidays in the country, but the major renovations underway at Stonewell helped us make the decision to stay in London instead. Here, things were mostly organized, with the exception of the conversion of a spare bedroom into a nursery.

“I imagine I would’ve found a way to ravish you amid all that
bulky equipment,” he said low at my ear, as he thrust against my ass with a hot length of maleness wanting more of what we’d done already.

Once was never enough for Ethan
, and I was perfectly fine with that. I hoped his need for me never went away. I don’t think I would thrive without it.

“I
want this,” he rasped, two of his fingers plying my back entrance with determined pressure, sending jolts of arousal firing to all of my erogenous zones.

“Yes…okay.” Two words
and I was finished with talking. The most conversation I could manage in my heightened state of stimulation. The anticipation of what he would do to my body sent me off into a sexual haze of need and desire, rendering me unable to vocalize much at all. I never worried about what he’d do to me during sex. No matter whatever it was, he would make it good. Ethan made sure.

“You take my breath away,” he purred from behind
, where he was working to prepare me to take him in. I knew he was staring, getting turned on by the sight of me on my knees and bowed forward. I felt the slick drops of lube he pumped from the bottle to help ease the way. He was thick and wide, and perfect, but I still appreciated the lubrication.

His hands gripped my ass cheeks and spread them.

I realized what was coming at me the instant before I felt it. His glorious tongue.

Ethan
used that on me first, the gentle teasing of my tight hole bringing me to a kind of helpless state where I trembled, hovering between this world and somewhere else.

He stopped with his tongue and moved into position
. “You do, baby. You take my breath away.” The head of his cock came against my flesh. “Every.” He pushed forward, penetrating with just the tip of his penis. “Fuckin’.” I felt the enormity of his flesh trying to merge with mine, the intensity of his need to sink into me, the craving I had for him to do it. “TIME,” he shouted on a heavy groan, as his cock slid into place, filling me all the way to the root, his balls slapping against my sex with a jolt.

“Oh!” I gasped at his harsh, but beautiful invasion, riding through the sexual heat and sensation of extreme fullness
that bordered upon pain but didn’t cross into it. Just steadying myself for the real intensity that would come—once he started to move in and out of me in long, purposeful slides. I started to shake, nearly out of my mind with sensations so intense I could hardly breathe.

“Okay
, my beauty?” he rasped at the back of my ear, his beard abrading my skin as he dug his chin into my shoulder to hold himself still, waiting for my answer. He sought my approval, of him, of his taking of me, of his physical domination over my body.

I would always give it to him.
I wanted it so badly.

“
Yeeees.” I rolled my head back, unable to say more than that one word. I needed to focus on holding myself together before I blew apart into millions of pieces. Our joining felt that overpowering.

“Oh, fuck, yeah.” He
filled one hand with my hair and started to move within me, long careful slides of hot male flesh piercing me with exquisite deliberation. “So good, baby…” He groaned into each thrust, filling me deeply, taking me along on an erotic, lust-filled trip of sensation. “You’re so beautiful…and sexy fucking amazing,” he chanted, working his cock with the skill I’d come to know and love. Possessing me completely, every part of me laid bare.

I heard something else
in his voice, too. A kind of desperation—a frantic desire to meld with me. A dark craving for his body to enfold mine so fully, there couldn’t be any delineation where he ended and I began. His cock, fingers, tongue, his breath, his cum—his everything, wanted in.

And so
, Ethan took me until he brought me to the highest peaks of my release, and held me when it broke into a billion shards of shimmering glory. He swallowed my cries with his mouth, and gave me more of him, his cock swelling to irrational hardness in preparation for the blast. He said things to me as he came, shuddering declarations of love and adoration…for me alone…as he filled me up with himself.

3rd
January

London

WATCHING
Brynne putting on her makeup, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I hoped she didn’t notice me watching because I didn’t want her feeling self-conscious. I knew she was a little worried, because her body had changed so much. But my girl was more beautiful to me now, than ever. Our little blueberry had grown right along with her, and was now a thirty-two week-old, tiny little person, who kicked, and wriggled, and rolled around for me all the time now.