Ravaged Land - A Post-Apocalyptic Novel (22 page)

“I knew something was wrong when I went to bed.” Dean’s quiet voice broke through the darkness and over Owen’s heavy breathing. At least Owen was getting rest since I thought this would be the hardest on him. We’d all lost someone, but Owen lost his best friend. Maybe he hadn’t asked more questions because he wanted to sleep, and just wasn’t ready to process what had happened. And maybe he already knew enough that the details didn’t matter. “That’s what I came to tell you guys.”

I froze.

“Came to tell us?” Ryan questioned, “No one came—”

“That was the ‘something’ I thought I saw,” I said to Ryan hoping that would jog his memory and I wouldn’t have to spell it out.

Dean sighed.

“What were you going to tell us?” I asked feeling the heat from my embarrassment on my face and neck. It was too dark no one knew it was there but me.

“That Seth was acting weird. He’d had an episode with me, much like you described earlier, but it was worse. After a while he crouched down on the floor, like a beast and growled at me. I closed his door almost all the way, I wanted to be able to see him if I looked in and I wanted to be able to hear him if he needed me. I sat there holding my bow until he went back to sleep. I wasn’t about to leave Sienna alone up there with him awake.” Dean sighed again and continued, “Even when he was sleeping I didn’t want to leave her alone for more than a minute, and actually even a minute was too long. But I couldn’t stay awake all night again.

“By starting that fire, I think in his crazed mind, he thought he was protecting us from him,” Dean said. “Seth started that fire to protect us from whatever was inside him, I think he thought he was doing the right thing. I really, really, really tried to save him Ryan… I did,” he said as he sniffed, seemingly to disguise the fact that he voice had started cracking.

“He did, and I did too, he just wasn’t himself. Dean, you couldn’t have done anything other than what you did,” I said trying to sound comforting even though I was still plenty embarrassed by what Dean had seen. If we hadn’t left the door open by mistake, Dean would have knocked and told us about Seth, maybe it would have saved him or maybe it wouldn’t have mattered.

“Yeah well, maybe if I would have told someone instead of just going back to bed, Seth would still be with us,” he complained. I wasn’t sure if he was taking a jab at me and Ryan, or if he was angry with himself for being tired. Either way I let it slide off me. After all, he had every right in the world to be upset. We all did.

Dean and Seth had been longtime friends too, maybe not like Owen, but I could tell it was hurting him — I wanted to hug him. This was hard on all of us, we had all grown to know and love Seth. He was kind and gentle, never wanted to hurt a fly. If it hadn’t been for his overheating issue he still wouldn’t have went on runs, he’d never use a gun he’d try to find another way and by then in some cases it may have been too late. He wasn’t foolish, he was just sweet and tried to see the good in people, even if it wasn’t there.

That was all that was said on the topic of Seth. Everyone either sat in silence or drifted off into fitful bouts of sleep, which is what I had done. I tossed from side to side waking up every time I saw Seth grin at me in the darkness behind my eyelids before he’d shut himself in the closet all over again.

When the sun came up just enough over the horizon to give us some light, we ate our breakfast. I forced myself to eat something even though it was the last thing I wanted to do with how much my stomach felt like it was tied into knots. I knew I needed the fuel. I would have to be alert and aware now that we were no longer sitting safely in the nice house we had turned into a home. I couldn’t afford to let myself get weak and add to what I felt was already a long list of my shortcomings.

My throat was sore from all the screaming and the smoke. We were all still coughing every now and then trying to get the putrid stuff out of our lungs. I didn’t even bother volunteering to help when Ryan, Owen and Dean went to scope out the area.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep while waiting for them to come back in, because when I woke up, I heard mumbling outside. Sienna was stretched out and sleeping on the couch and I could see all three boys standing in a circle talking. I watched them through the slit between the closed curtains covering the thin window. I realized quickly what was going on. Owen kept his head down most of the time and then he brushed away a tear. They were telling him what happened to Seth. Both Ryan and Dean stayed with him a bit patting his back, but they turned to come inside to give him a moment to himself. He had probably asked for some time alone I guessed. I ducked back down and pretended to still be sleeping.

When Owen came in ten minutes later I acted as if the door had woke me. “We should get going,” Ryan said and Dean gently shook Sienna to wake her up.

Before we left we checked the garage at the main house for a car, it would have to be suitable for the now five of us. They had one in the garage but it was a small car. Too small for us and our packs, we were going to need to find a truck, an SUV or a van. Everyone and their uncles had SUVs, would it really be that hard to find one? We moved house to house staying out of the city, but it was getting harder and harder with the heat and with the houses all being miles apart from one another. So it wasn’t long until we decided to risk it and go into town, staying in residential areas until we could find something that would work.

It had taken us a good three hours to find an SUV, it was black and one of the newer models. The SUV had half a tank of gas which would be enough for a while since we had no idea where we were going. It was parked in a garage of a nice home that hadn’t seen much damage. The SUV was in nearly perfect condition and we found the keys hanging on a key rack in the kitchen, it was probably the first thing that went right for us in months. We were lucky. It started right away even though it had been sitting for so long. We headed east, merging onto I94 and just drove. There were still cars strewn about the roads, but most had been blown off into the ditch from when the storms had passed. And others had probably been pushed off to the side to make way for those who were still alive and traveling. Ryan took the first exit that had a sign barely hanging on the post that indicated gas stations.

As we pulled off the exit ramp we stopped at the first gas station we saw which was pretty obviously abandoned. Ryan pulled up to a pump and everyone started to get out of the car, “Whoa! Wait guys, I’m just getting gas,” he said.

“I want to look for water,” I said.

“We have to check for supplies,” Owen said.

“Um, fine, Owen will take you in but be fast and stay close to him,” Ryan said sounding bossy. Clearly he wasn’t happy with the whole idea, but Owen was right, this was where we’d be gathering most of our supplies from now that we were on the road. Sienna and Dean came too, leaving Ryan alone, which made me nervous, but of course he insisted he’d be fine.

Owen liked being put in charge and he was quite capable, the proof of that was that Ryan trusted him enough to take care of me. I thought of him as our muscle. I felt pretty safe being around Owen, he would do what needed to be done to protect us.

There had been no reason to worry, once we were inside it was clear there was no one else there. In fact, the mini mart had been cleaned out. I figured it had been mostly empty because it was so close to the highway. It was an easy stop. I looked out the window to see Ryan moving the car to another pump.

There were a few dusty cans of Pinto beans on the shelf which I stuffed into my pack. I found a package of saltines which I also took. The water, however, had been cleaned out.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Sienna said.

Owen led her to the ladies room. He peeked inside first to make sure it was safe and then he waited outside of the door for her. “Hey look at this,” he shouted. Dean and I both rushed over and saw a sign posted on the corkboard next to old washed out business cards.

The sign read:

Come HOME

Fairbanks Alaska

“Safety awaits”

For some reason it made me think of the note that I had found in what had remained of my house. Could that have been left there telling me to go to Alaska? Could I have been in Alaska this whole time with my mom? It seemed like a stretch. HOME? I had no home. My home was destroyed with everything else, what was this HOME?

“No directions.” I looked around the area to see if there was any other information.

“Nope,” Dean said running his fingers through his hair, “maybe it’s so obvious you can’t miss it.”

“Fairbanks,” I said not wanting to take the sign but wanting to remember where to go.

Sienna exited the bathroom and joined us. Noticing the sign, she touched it as if she wanted to make sure it was real, her eyes lit up but she said nothing. “Are you guys ready?” Owen said looking around. He didn’t like staying in one place too long. I didn’t blame him and it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave Ryan out there waiting in the wide open for too long.

“Let’s go,” Dean said throwing a lighter and an old candy bar in his pack.

We piled into the car and Ryan jumped back on the eastbound highway before we got a chance to say anything about the sign. I wasn’t even sure if the others were going to tell him. I grew impatient waiting for Owen, so I took care of it myself. After about 30 questions we didn’t have the answers to, he pulled the SUV over and slammed it into park. He wanted to know if we should go, and without knowing more about this HOME, we took a vote. Since no one had a better idea, we decided to go to Alaska. We weren’t sure what we’d do once we got there, but we were going to head in that direction for now, and we could always change our mind. Ryan turned the car around and we backtracked, but at least we had a destination in mind.

Ryan had the AC cranked. The car was more comfortable than being outside but it was still warm from the hot sun beating down on it and perhaps the heat had something to do with how inefficient the AC was. We hadn’t driven very far when he said we needed to find a car shop, something that would have window tint, his hope was that it would keep the car cooler. Mostly I think it must have bothered Ryan because his arms were on the steering wheel with the sun blasting down on them or on his face where his visor didn’t protect him. I didn’t like the heat but I was just thankful I wasn’t outside.

He picked a town and exited off the highway. We drove up and down the bumpy streets of what appeared to have been the main drag once upon a time. He finally found a place that might have the window tint. Owen and Ryan ran inside leaving us in the car, they’d be quick he promised. Dean wouldn’t be able to use his bow in the car should he need to do something, so Owen gave him a gun.

“It’s hot, but it’s not that hot inside the car,” Dean said, “I wonder why the heat is bothering Ryan so much. It never used to bother him that much. At least I never heard him complain about it, but I suppose you’d know if it had better than I would.”

I rolled my eyes and ignored him even though he was right. The heat did seem to be bothering him more than usual.

They came out of the shop with a ton of supplies and then discussed how they were going to approach the project. After a short time they came to tell us they were going to find somewhere more secluded to install the tint. To me everything felt secluded, but I understood they’d want to feel as safe as possible while they worked. We found a vacant home several miles off the highway. It would be easy to see anyone coming from a mile away. But no one came. It took them several hours to install the window tint, and once we were back on the road, Ryan was pleased with how much cooler the car was. For that reason alone it had been worth it.

We headed north at the first major highway that would take us to the Alaskan Highway. Other than that we were going to need some maps to figure out our way to the HOME. “Ryan? Can we get some maps?” I asked. I wanted to get started planning our route even though we hadn’t been on the road long since our last stop. It would give me something to do.

“Sure, let’s just get another hour or two of day driving under our belt. I’ll stop before it’s dark,” he said with a forced smile. He seemed a little off. He was still pale and not talking at all, which really wasn’t that unusual for Ryan but it was the far off look that went with it that made me notice it more. I offered him a drink of water and a cereal bar, thinking he was just hungry, but he refused both and just kept his focus on the road. I’d talk to him about it once we had a little privacy, and I didn’t have to try to talk to him around the back of his seat.

* * *

We’d been on the road for two hours when the sun started to go down and Ryan found a large gas station that hopefully still had maps for the taking. How many people that were still out there would need maps? At this point I was more concerned with how he was feeling, he was not himself. I was going to make sure we got a little alone time before we drove off. We all needed a little break from the road to be honest and maybe that’s all Ryan needed too. Maybe everything that had happened with Seth was just catching up with him, I still hadn’t properly mourned him, and maybe I never would.

After the boys made sure it was safe we went inside while Ryan topped off the tank with what was left in the reservoir. I grabbed a stack of maps to sort through and sat at one of the little tables on the restaurant side of the gas station. Sienna was looking through magazines that were months old. Dean and Owen were emptying the shelves and taking things from the storage in back that most people seemed to forget about when they came to gas stations.