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In my peripheral vision, I see his hands move to his hips. He breathes deep and replies on an exhale, “You’re seriously fucking up my mojo right now.”

And I can’t help it.
 

I burst into laughter.

This is the strangest sexual encounter I’ve ever had. In my life. Still chuckling, I look up at Twitch.

He doesn’t look amused.

Rolling my eyes, I mimic his position and sit back on my heels. “Oh, come
on
. You don’t think this is even a little funny? I’m in bed with a stranger who won’t let me participate in sex…” Flipping the end of the belt with the tips of my fingers, I add, “I have a belt around my neck, and the guy I’m fucking tells me I’m making him lose his
mojo
! But no, not any guy. A guy who stalks me on a daily basis! A guy who saved me from being raped! This whole situation…it’s fucking ridiculous!” I exclaim on a chuckle.

When Twitch’s face doesn’t show any signs of him finding my story amusing, my chuckles die a slow death. I sit back on my heels and watch him through weary eyes.

Then something miraculous happens.

His lip curves up in what is the most gorgeous, gleaming smile I’ve ever seen. And it’s contagious. Smiling back at him, he scratches his chin and admits confusedly, “This was not what I had planned for tonight.”

Suddenly nervous, I admit back, “Me either.”

When his face turns hard and calculating, I risk my pride. Which is a surprisingly hard thing to do.
 

Flipping back over, I lie on my stomach with my ass in the air and my hands at the small of my back. “Tonight, my body is yours to do with as you please. Show me how to submit. I want to submit to you.”

It takes ten slow seconds before I feel the bed move, but my still heart beats again. Not wasting time with foreplay this time around, his arm returns to hold me up under my stomach; he places the tip of his cock at my slick entrance and pushes all the way in.

I’m full of steel heat. And it’s
bliss
.

The arm around me wraps me tight and he begins to thrust into me. I’m so careful this time around not to make a sound or do something stupid, like come before I’m told. I need what he’s offering, as fucked up as it is. I need to reclaim the sexuality I was so close to losing tonight.

He pumps into me, stroking me deeply, and I moan low in my throat. Closing my eyes, I feel his chest press down to my back. He rocks into me, and the connection – the closeness – feels almost intimate. His hand cups my chin and he squeezes lightly, turning my face as far to the side as it will go. My core begins to pulse and my eyes shoot open. He watches me through smiling eyes and a hard face. My eyes plead with him. I need to come. Now!

Looking deep into my eyes, he asks, “You gonna come on my cock, Lexi?”

I nod my head rapidly. Tingles line my spine, and white spots blur my vision. Just as my eyes close in bliss, Twitch whispers, “Come for me.”

Gripping his cock tight, I pulse around him and moan, “Yes. God, yes.”

His thrusts pick up and become harder, almost violent. Lifting himself off my back, he grips my hips tightly and pulls me back into his thrusts. In a sex coma, all I can do is moan and sigh as he does what he does. It’s feels amazing. He suddenly grates out, “You on the pill?”

My eyes snap open. My sex coma gone.
 

Shit on a stick! We aren’t using protection! What the hell is
wrong
with me?

I blame Twitch for my lack of thinkage. He has me all wound up, and now I have the dumb.

A slap to my ass brings me back to reality. “Yes. I’m on the pill.”

Not a second after I respond to him, his fingers tighten around my hips, and he thrusts so hard, so deeply into me, that it feels like I’m bouncing on a trampoline. His grip tightens on me. He impales himself into me one last time and holds my hips tightly in place.
 

And I feel it.

His orgasm.

He groans deeply, then stills as his cock jerks, and with every throb of his release, a feeling of comfort washes over me. And what a feeling! Wet warmth coats me from the inside. It’s amazing. I’ve never had sex bare.

My brain interrupts me with,
“You do realize you just had crazy-assed sex with a homeless, crazy-assed stalker-dude, right? You also let this guy come inside you and you’ve known him about a minute and a half.”
My brain’s eyes widen and it nods.
“You, my dear, are a stupid ho.”

Twitch still hasn’t removed himself from inside of me. His thumb absently strokes my hip, and the only sounds that can be heard in my room is a duet of heavy breathing. I smile to myself.

Meh.

I’ll worry about the
BS
tomorrow.

What the fuck was all that?

My head itches around the empty space where my brain should be.

Get out of there, man.

This was not how things were meant to go tonight. She was meant to be scared, and weak, and fragile. Not all…
fucking hell
.

She was meant to be everything I needed. She was meant to be something I could work with.

Who says she isn’t?

I’m getting used to ignoring my mind’s voice when it talks stupid smack like that.

She says the magic words –
I give in
– and my cock gets happy. I can’t wait to break her in and start what I’ve waited years for. But
no
. She doesn’t give in so easily…and even when she thinks she’s giving in, she’s only giving up a small part of herself. Not what I need her to give for this to work.

And it’s not e-
fucking
-nough for me.
 

I need her. I want her. I
will
own her.
 

The need to punish her is getting worse.

So why didn’t you?

Searching for my tee, I find it by the front door with the rest of my clothes and slip it over my head. Like I said, tonight did not go as planned. And I need to get away from her. From her sweet smell and soft mouth. I need to think.

Walking back to her room, I sit on the edge of her bed and go about putting my shoes on. Without turning to her, I walk back down the hall, grab my jacket from the sofa and walk out the front door. Giving her a false indication of what tonight meant to me.
 

Nothing.

I know I’m an asshole. I’m not even sorry.

As I close the door behind me, I force my eyes down, making sure not to look down the hall and into those big blue eyes.

No. Tonight definitely did not go as planned.

I hear the latch click over as Twitch walks out of my apartment. I’m not really sure what I expected…but
that
was not it. I think I expected at least a goodnight.

My brow furrows. My brain works overtime.

With that exit, I’m left feeling like a hooker who paid her hero back through sexual favors.
 

And I suddenly feel dirty.
 

Standing on shaky legs, our combined juices run down my legs as I make it the bathroom just in time to throw up.

I woke this morning in a foul mood. This was expected. I went to bed in a foul mood, so it makes sense to wake up in one too.

After Twitch left and I made my mad dash to the bathroom to lose the contents of my stomach, I showered for the second time that night to wash the dirty feeling off of me. And while I was showering, I wondered what in the hell I was thinking allowing a man I don’t know – a potentially dangerous man – to have his way with me.

My mind blanked. I had no answer.

It was a stupid thing to do. Something I’ll never do again. I vow to never do anything like that again.
 

Because I am better than that.