Raze & Reap (51 page)

Quietly, I moved beside him, and placed my hand on his arm. He tensed and whipped his angered face toward me. I stilled, and he seemed to remind himself I was no threat, his expression softening. “Would you like to go outside?” I asked nonchalantly.

He blinked, then blinked again. But he shook his head. His gaze drifted to the window. Taking his hand, I led him to the window. Releasing my hand, he edged forward and pressed his hands to the glass.

A warm feeling stirred in my stomach as he stared out of the large pane of glass. His eyes were flitting over everything in sight. Perhaps he was committing it to memory?

Did he think he would be captured again soon? That he would never see this sight again?

Zaal looked out for minutes, in a happy silence. I wanted to give him more. “Zaal. Come with me,” I prompted, and led him up to a bedroom. Luka and Kisa had been staying in this room. Luka still had some hooded sweatshirts hanging in the closet. Zaal stood in the center of the room. His eyes taking in the furniture; the bed, dresser, everything.

Choosing the biggest hooded sweatshirt I could find, I walked to Zaal and unzipped the front zipper. “Put this on,” I instructed.

Zaal looked at the sweatshirt and then at me.

I couldn't help but smile at the lost look on his face, over something as simple as a sweatshirt. A wisp of a laugh slipped from my mouth. Suddenly, I found rough fingers stroking my lips.

Zaal was staring at my lips in fascination. “What is this called in your language?” he asked.

I wrapped my hand over his fingers, and replied, “A smile.”

“A … smi … le…” He sounded out the word as he moved closer to my lips. The task of breathing became difficult as he stood a mere hairsbreadth away. His head leaned in closer, and for a moment, I thought he would kiss me. Instead he drew back and pressed his fingers to his own lips.

Finding my stolen voice, I asked, “Do you smile, Zaal?”

He paused, then shook his head. His expression changed from confused to enquiring. He asked, “Why do you smile?”

My heart beat at double speed. “When something makes you happy. When you
feel happy
.”

“Happy…,” he whispered. Then he took the hooded sweatshirt from my hands. “You were happy giving me this?” He looked down at the sweatshirt, clearly with interest.

Not wanting Zaal to think that I was laughing at his naivety, I took the sweatshirt, held it out for him to slip on, threaded it over his arms and, moving to his front, zipped it up. He still awaited my answer, so I replied, “I am happy that you're finally free.”

Zaal paused, then lifted his hand. He ran it through my hair. “Your hair is soft,” he observed.

Perplexed by the sudden change in conversation, I responded by running my hair over the ends of his long jet black hair, and said, “Now so is yours.”

He followed my fingers through his almost-dry hair. His eyes met mine, and he asked, “You took care of me?”

I swallowed as my throat felt too full with such attraction for this man. “Yes,” I whispered, “I took care of you.”

His head dipped again and his finger ran down my cheek. His finger continued south, over my breasts, my nipples aching under his touch. Then his finger tapped over my heart, before moving to tap over his. “Because … you are … for me.”

Time stopped as he said those words again. Though on this occasion, they weren't a question. To him, I could tell it was fact. In his eyes, I was his, I was for him.

“Let's go to the beach,” I announced, unable to earth the electricity crackling between us. His eyes widened, but before I gave him a chance to resist, I guided him out of the room and down the stairs.

As we turned the corner into the living room, Savin and Ilya were standing in the center. Zaal tensed. I turned around and, standing on my tiptoes, pressed my hand to his cheek. “They are here to protect you, not cage you.”

Zaal's eyes narrowed as they focused on my
byki,
but he wanted to trust me. I could see that Zaal was placing his trust in me.

Zaal, this time, took my hand. My heart bloomed as I cast him a smile. I heard his breathing hitch, so I smiled even wider.

I tried to lead us past Savin and Ilya, but Savin stepped forward. “Miss, a word, please?”

I stared at Savin, his dark gaze was stern. “What, Savin?”

His eyes flicked to Zaal then to me. “In private, please.”

“It can wait, Sav,” I replied, then he said, “does the
knayz
know you're doing this?”

I stiffened. Anger and a hint of guilt built in my stomach. “He's in Brooklyn, summoned by the Pakhan. He doesn't need the hassle. He has enough to deal with.”

Savin nodded, his mouth tight. He knew that I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I continued without hesitation. “He wants this
situation
made right.” I glanced back to Zaal, who had moved closer to my back, a protective gesture. “I'm helping to make it right,” I concluded.

Zaal followed me to the back door, and his breath blew faster. I didn't look back. I just opened the door, the winter wind off the ocean lashing at my face.

Zaal's hand tightened in mine, but I stepped through taking him with me. The wind whistled loudly, but at least the sun shone bright. I stopped and Zaal stepped beside me. His eyes squinted at the sun. The look on his face as he scanned our private beach was like seeing someone coming home after the longest time. To me, it was the look of freedom.

“Do you want to walk farther?” I asked. Zaal looked at me, nerves played across his dark features, but he nodded.

I glanced down at his bare feet. I worried that he'd be cold, but he didn't seem to feel the winter chill. I didn't think anything, not even a damn hurricane, would register with him at this moment.

“I'll show you the ocean,” I offered. We walked past the swimming pool and onto our private wooden walkway. The air was filled with the sound of waves crashing onto the sand. Zaal kept pace behind me. His breathing was erratic, and his muscles were tense. He flinched at the bright light, but I had a feeling nothing was going to stop him from reaching the beach.

When we reached the end of the dock, I turned to Zaal and dropped my hand. A panicked look swept over his face. I ignored it and kept going.

I shouted, “Have you ever seen sand before?”

I pointed at the smooth beige sand. As I expected, Zaal shook his head. I smiled. It got his attention. “One of the best feelings in the world is to walk on sand.”

Zaal stared down at the sand, studying it closely. I rubbed my hand down his arm. “Go,” I said, “feel the sand. Meet the ocean.”

Zaal was understandably apprehensive. His face paled slightly, but as I nudged my chin encouragingly in the direction of the beach, he stepped out.

As soon as his large feet sank into the sand, a gasp escaped his mouth. His toes wiggled, and he bent down to scoop the sand up in his hands. He remained crouched, hands buried under the soft sand for a good while.

A tidal wave of emotion washed over me, stealing my every breath. My hand clutched my chest and my eyes stung.

I, Talia Tolstaia, the twenty-four-year-old daughter of a Bratva boss of New York, was getting emotional for a Kostava. A Kostava who had no idea who the hell he was.

Legs feeling weak, I dropped down to sit on the edge of the wooden dock, wrapping my arms around my waist.

Zaal had his head bowed, a statue on the sand. I tasted salt on my lips, from the spray of the sea.

Zaal lifted his head. His eyes were closed. The sun kissed his face. I too felt the sun on my skin as though I was attracting its rays. I felt as though I was feeling it for the first time with him—the warmth. I was feeling the wind wrap around my hair. I was right here in the moment.

I sighed and Zaal opened his eyes. Those pearls of green fell upon me. Zaal stood slowly, and bowed his head at me. I smiled through trembling lips and though no smile pulled on his lips, it was shining from his eyes.

Zaal turned. His huge body, sculpted from vast muscles, his long black hair wild and free, slowly made his way to the endless rush of the waves.

I wrapped my arms around bent legs and rested my cheek on my knee. Zaal was walking to the tide. When he met the sea foam, I watched it pass over his feet. From here, I couldn't hear him or see his face, but I could see his shoulders relax. Then he knelt down and pushed his hand into the salty ocean. It would be freezing at this time of year, but he didn't even flinch.

Like he did with the sand, he stayed awhile touching the water, as if in prayer. Over fifteen minutes passed by. The entire time I simply watched him in silence.

Suddenly, Zaal stood and deeply exhaled. When he turned to face me, his green eyes were bright; my heart ceased to function.

He was smiling. It was small, it was faint, but it was there.

And in that moment I knew—I was losing my heart to the object of my family's deepest hatred.

Zaal walked toward me. My thighs tensed. Everything about him was raw; his wild long hair, his dark stubble, his deep olive skin. He was everything I could have wished for.

“Did you like the beach, Zaal?” I asked, and raised my head.

Zaal closed his eyes. His lip hooked up in a small smile. I gasped at the sight. When he opened his eyes, he dusted his fingertips over his mouth. “I feel …
happy
.”

I placed my hand over my chest and closed my eyes, too overcome by what he'd been through, when fingers ran through my hair.

I opened my eyes. Zaal was looking at me in concern. “Why do you look sad?” he asked in his clipped English. A part of me then questioned how he knew English. That thought vanished as soon as he moved closer still to me.

I shook my head. “I feel sadness at how you've been treated.”

His black eyebrows pulled down. I knew he still couldn't understand the gravity and the magnitude of what he'd been through. I knew he didn't remember what was done to his family. He was the embodiment of living in the moment, living for now. Of course, I adored that Zaal was embracing and savoring life for the very first time.

“Ignore me,” I said as I waved my hand.

“You are tired?” he asked.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I've barely slept these past couple of weeks.”

Stepping back onto the dock, Zaal reached down and lifted me up in his strong arms. I couldn't help but laugh as he did so. He placed me down in front of him and put his hand in mine. “We rest,” he said with finality.

I let him lead me back to the house, then I led him up the stairs. I walked him to a spare room. As we entered, I hung back at the door. “You can sleep here.” I pointed to the bed. “You have a bed, Zaal. No more sleeping on the floor.”

I turned to leave the door, when Zaal suddenly reached for my hand. I turned my head to face him. Raw fear was on his face. He pulled me to his chest. “Where do you go?” he asked, his accent thicker as panic laced his voice.

“My room,” I whispered. My pulse picked up speed at the desperate look of need in his eyes.

His hand dropped and his fingers laced through mine. “I come with you.”

I knew this had to be it. This was the moment I stopped myself from falling off the cliff. This was the moment I called Luka and told him that Zaal had got rid of whatever fucked up serum was in his body. That it was time to come and get him.

Or, I'd jump off the cliff, arms wide and free-falling. I'd follow what was leading my heart. Zaal, the Kostava who had seized control of my soul.

Stepping closer to Zaal, I ran my hand down his chest, my eyes following my fingers, and I chose to fall. “You go where I go.”

Without looking at his face, I turned and walked to my room. As I entered through the door, I released his hand and walked to the window. I drew the blinds. The sun was fading now, the bright winter's day drawing to its end. I paused as my hand hung on the blind's chain. I was exhausted. I felt exhausted, conflicted, confused, yet at the same time, every cell in my body was zinging to life. Lustful adrenaline surged in my blood, igniting every sense. The cause:
Zaal
.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned. Zaal was watching me. I knew that look. He wore that look when I'd bathed him, when I'd stroked his cock. Wore it as I'd washed his hair, then straddled his lap.

Reaching my bed, I pulled a nightgown from my dresser. My eyes flitted back and forth to Zaal, who remained standing, waiting patiently at the door. My body was so aware of his overwhelming presence, that my large bedroom suddenly felt full, stifling. But
right
.

Throwing my nightgown on the bed, I walked to Zaal and took his hand. I led him further into the room. He followed and I pointed to my right. “The bathroom's in there. You'll probably want to have a shower.” My face flushed red as I remembered riding him in the basement. My breasts ached and my nipples hardened at the memory. I wasn't sane around this man.

Zaal's eyes bored into mine. His lips rubbed together as he watched me. Suddenly his finger was brushing across the apples of my cheeks. “You are red.” His eyes narrowed, studiously taking in every detail. “Why?”

I shook my head, trying to dismiss his question, but he edged in closer. I almost moaned aloud when his hard torso caressed mine. My gaze fell to his olive skin, then the dark edges of his identity tattoo. I felt my panties grow damp. “Tell me,” he said roughly. His thigh brushed against mine and I could feel his hardness. I closed my eyes and fought with all I had to rein in my desire. “Talia…?” he pushed.

Shyly, and looking for something to do with my fidgeting fingers, I ran my fingertip over the zipper of his sweatshirt. “You may need to clean up before you sleep.”

I saw his head nod in my peripheral vision. Reluctantly dropping my hand from his chest, I walked to the bathroom. I'd assumed Zaal had followed, but when I turned to show him the shower, I was alone.