Reaver (28 page)

your needs. But every once in a while they’ll drop you in the place you least want to be.”

“Like your father’s realm?”

“Exactly.” She smiled with exaggerated perkiness. “But the good news is that he’s not there right

now. See? I can see the bright side of things.”

“You’re a real ray of sunshine.”

“That was uncalled for.” She tugged on his hand. “You ready?”

No, but they didn’t have a choice. They stepped through the gate and into what appeared to be a

black box.

“Now what?” he asked as the gate snapped shut. And remained shut.

Harvester didn’t answer. Didn’t have to. The expression on her face said it all.

They were trapped.

Twenty-One

Oh, this was not cool.

Harvester cursed as she paced around the black room, which, like almost everything else in Sheoul,

was lit by an unseen light source. Not that it did much good. The inky walls, floor, and endless ceiling

seemed to absorb the light, leaving them able to see in only about a ten-foot radius no matter where

they moved.

“Fuck,” she snapped.

“Why hasn’t the gate dropped us anywhere?”

She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. Couldn’t anything go right for them? Just once?

“These Boregates are glitchy. Sometimes they do this. Just hold you in these stupid boxes.”

Reaver looked up as if searching for a way out. She wished him luck. “For how long?”

“Until someone else tries to use the gate and un-glitches it.” Frustrated, she kicked at the wall. “I

suggested that someone grab Bill Gates and get him to install a new operating system, but apparently,

he’s not a demon.” At Reaver’s eye roll, she nodded. “Right? I was surprised, too.”

Reaver leaned against a wall as if they didn’t have a care in the world. How could he relax in a place

like this? The claustrophobic crush was going to end her.

“Aside from the fact that we’re trapped for the moment, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I don’t know, maybe because your über-evil father was within seconds of grabbing us?”

“Spare me the false concern,” she said tightly. “I’m fine.”

Yep, the way her hands were shaking and her voice was frayed with anxiety hinted to all kinds of

fine
.

“Whatever.” Reaver threw up his hands. “I was just trying to be nice. You know, things normal

people do.”

“Are you kidding me? We aren’t normal people. And nice? That’s how you want to play this? You

drop a big bomb on me,
Yenrieth
, and you want to be all
nice
?”

During her time with Satan’s torturers, Harvester had been drawn and quartered not once but twice.

It had been a huge spectacle, the premeal entertainment for two of his dinner parties.

But as agonizing as the experiences had been, they hadn’t even come close to what she’d felt when

Reaver confessed his identity.

She still couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that five thousand years after Yenrieth disappeared, he

was standing in front of her. How was she supposed to process this?
Could
she process this?

Hell, she might be in total denial if not for the fact that her intense hatred and baffling attraction to

Reaver finally made sense. So did the memory of sex with Yenrieth, where Reaver’s face had filled in

the blank holes. Reaver had been in the memory because he’d actually
been there
. Now she knew why

kissing him felt so familiar. And why, the first time she’d met Reaver, she’d sensed him before he’d

fully materialized. That had never happened with anyone else before.

“Fine,” he said. “You’re right. We’re not normal. We’re the most fucked-up, star-crossed lovers in

history. So let’s not play nice.” His penetrating stare seemed to look right through her. “Maybe you

can tell me why you ran away that day when I kissed you.”

“The day you fucked Lilith, you mean?” And wasn’t that a prick to the heart. That single decision,

to flee from a kiss, had led to all of this, but she wasn’t ready to take the entire blame. She rubbed her

sternum as if that would ease the pain that still lingered all these centuries later. “I ran away because I

was afraid. I had no experience, and you… you were a whore.” His jaw hardened into a stubborn line,

and she dared him to deny it. “You still are, aren’t you? Your exploits with demons are well known.”

Reaver’s expression turned cold. “How do you know about the demons I’ve been with? And, by the

way, that was in the past, when I was an Unfallen.”

She let out a dubious snort. “Are you really asking me to believe you’ve been a model of angelic

purity since you got your wings back?”

“I’ve never been a model of angelic purity,” he said roughly, and she wondered if the note of

bitterness in his voice was real or imagined.

“No shit.” She sauntered up to him and stabbed her finger into his breastbone. “So now that you

have some memories back, maybe you can tell me where you went after you seduced me, took my

virginity, and then told me I disgusted you.”

Inhaling a ragged breath, he closed his eyes. “What I did to you… I’m sorry—”

She jabbed him in the chest so hard he winced. “I don’t give a hellrat’s ass about your apology,” she

snapped. “Where did you go?”

He opened his eyes, and while she was gratified to see a shadow of hurt in them, she also felt a little

bad about putting it there. Emphasis on
little
.

“I don’t know. My new memories are limited to me and you.”

“How convenient.” She spun around, paced to the far wall, and then came back at him. “What else

do you remember?”

“I remember going to you after I found out I was a father. You were the first person I told. I

confided in you.” The hurt in his eyes morphed to blue-fired anger. “But you already knew. You’d

known for fucking
years
.”

Guilt ripped into her with such force that her knees nearly buckled. But she couldn’t let her pangs of

conscience derail her need for answers.

“So you remember that, but do you remember any of the shit you did to me? Do you remember how

I did everything you ever asked of me, including giving you my blood so you could bond us?”

“Shit.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I remember that. It was a few months before Lilith.

We’d just advanced in novice demon hunting training.”

“And you wanted us to be able to feel each other if we got into trouble.”

He hesitated, and the air inside the Boregate grew thick with tension. “There was more to it than

that.” He stepped closer, and the musky scent of his skin filled her nostrils. “I didn’t tell you the rest.”

A sinking sensation filled her chest cavity. “You lied?” God, she’d been such a fool. Such a stupid,

lovesick, spineless, idiot.

“Only because the truth would have sounded crazy.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “And what was the truth?”

“That we needed to do it.” He shoved his hand through his blond mane, leaving it messy and

begging for her touch. Even though she hated him right now. “It was just a feeling I had, something we

had to do, but I didn’t know why.”

“And now you do?”

“Maybe,” he breathed. “I think the bond is what’s helping me get my memories back.”

“Well, good for you. Glad I could help.”

He ignored her sarcasm. “I am, too.”

She drank in the sight of him as he stood there, his chest heaving as though they’d sparred with their

fists instead of with words. And now, she realized, in all the memories she had of Yenrieth, he was no

longer faceless. The angel who laughed with her, played tricks on her, and had brought her to the most

amazing orgasms was the male standing in front of her.

“So what now?”

He propped one boot casually behind him on the wall. Because yeah, this was all just so run-of-the-

mill. “Now we wait for this Boregate to take us somewhere.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“Do you really think now’s the time to discuss our future? We don’t know if we’re going to survive

the rest of the day let alone the next century.”

He was right, but his dismissal still stung. For thousands of years she’d wondered what she would

do if Yenrieth reappeared, the scenarios ranging from a cheesy joyful reunion in which they’d run at

each other and she’d leap into his arms to her killing him in a fit of rage.

Most of her imaginary reunions involved him falling to his knees and begging forgiveness while she

listened patiently until she’d had enough. Then they had wild, intense sex and he swore to never let her

go again.

What a joke. Of all the fantasies she’d come up with, none of them had involved them being on the

run from Satan and darkmen.

“Let me ask you something.” She squared her shoulders, wincing at the sudden, intense itching in

her back as her wings regenerated. A good sign, but annoying. “After you found out I knew about your

children, when you seduced me, did you
want
to have sex with me, even a little? Or was it all for

revenge?”

His gaze hit the floor, but not before she caught a glimpse of shame. “I don’t remember.”

“My ass,” she spat out. “You must have some idea. Some feeling.”

“The feeling I get from that day is anger. So if I had to guess, I’d say it was all for revenge.” His

eyes snapped up to hers, as brutally cold as his words, and her chest constricted around what was left

of her shriveled heart. “Was that what you wanted to hear? Or should I have lied?”

She’d have been fine with a lie, and how fucked up was that? Son of a bitch, he could throw her off

balance, and if there was anything Harvester hated more than being tortured, it was being unsure of

herself and her emotions.

“Fuck you, Reaver.” Irrational anger gripped her in sharp talons as she spun away from him,

needing as much distance as she could get in the damned shoebox they were trapped inside.

His exasperated voice followed her. “You asked.”

She braced her forehead against the opposite wall, letting the cool stone soothe her. But it didn’t do

much to alleviate the anguish building inside her.

Shuffling noises filled the room and she tensed as she felt him come closer. “In case we don’t make

it out of Sheoul, I need you to know I’m thankful for what you did for my sons and daughter. I can’t

thank you enough.” He swallowed audibly, an almost pained sound. “I owe you more than I can ever

repay.”

“That’s a dangerous thing to say to a fallen angel, you know.”

“Maybe. Depends on the fallen angel.”

She laughed bitterly. “If you’re counting on me to wipe the slate clean and tell you to go on your

merry way, you’re sadly mistaken. I’m not Verrine anymore. I’ve had to do things to survive that

would make your feathers molt.”

“You think I don’t get that?” He made a sound of frustration. “I’m not Yenrieth anymore, either.

But we’re both paying for things we did when we
were
those people. Maybe it’s time to stop.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep, rattling breath. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. He’d

hurt her so badly that she wasn’t ready to let go of the pain. And maybe it wasn’t as much that he’d

hurt her as it was that she was an evil bitch who was more about revenge than forgiveness.

No, she definitely wasn’t Verrine anymore.

“You want to stop paying for what we did as Verrine and Yenrieth? What about what we’ve done as

Harvester and Reaver?” Pushing away from the wall, she swung around to him. “I smashed you under

a mountain. I tricked you and tortured you. Can you really get past that?”

His eyes raked her from head to toe, as if he was trying to see the angel he’d once known. “I already

have. But what about you? You said everything you felt for me, as Reaver, makes sense. I know you

hate me, but what else?”

“What else?” Her first instinct was to tell him to fuck off. But they both needed a little honesty and

a lot of answers now. “Lust,” she said boldly. “I despised you, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to

screw your brains out every time I saw you.”

Heat flared in his eyes, and she smiled inwardly. “That’s why you made that deal with me in

Sheoul-gra.”

“Well, I couldn’t very well admit I wanted to fuck you, could I? You’d have laughed in my face.”

“Yes,” he admitted. “I would have.”