Rebecca's Rose (26 page)

The only good thing about her day so far—no, the only gloriously wonderful thing about her day so far—was that after fifty-eight long days, she got to see Levi. How could she bear to be out of his sight ever again?

The long two months of Levi’s exile had been what Rebecca imagined hell to be like.

Hell is knowing what might have been.

“Remember the wedge. Keep your knees apart. That’ll slow you down. Then widen it out when you need to stop.”

Levi had already made her watch the ski movie at the lodge, where she mostly stared at Levi instead of the screen. He wouldn’t even think of letting her on a chairlift until he spent a half hour on the flatland teaching her what to do on the slopes. She was ready to go. Terrified, but ready.

“Don’t go too fast,” he warned. “I’ll be right beside you.” He practically glowed with excitement. “Breathe, kid. This is what you’ve waited for. Enjoy it.”

She looked into his eyes to see if he was teasing. Nope. He brimmed with enthusiasm. Was he no longer worried she’d get hurt? Or was he ready to move on with his own life?

The despair that had been her constant companion these two months reemerged. She did not want to move on with her life. She wanted things to be exactly as they had been—with Levi, not Marvin, coming to the farm every Wednesday and her Friday nights filled with marvelous and horrifying adventures. She could bear anything if Levi was with her.

Instead, this was quite possibly the last day she would ever see him, and he acted happy about it.

Holding her breath, she pushed herself over the crest of the hill and slid slowly toward the bottom. She squealed weakly in panic as she gained speed, but her intense focus left no energy for a hearty scream. As promised, Levi stayed glued to her side, as closely as possible without getting their skis tangled. She teetered three times on the way down but didn’t fall. Snow from other people’s skis whipped her face, but her own efforts didn’t kick up much ice. So be it. Skiing like a snail was still skiing.

Dodging several small children, she let her momentum take her all the way to the fence at the bottom of the hill. She took a deep breath as she swiped snow from her goggles. Although she wouldn’t break any speed records, at least she’d made it down without crashing.

Levi growled and wrapped her in a bear hug. “You did it! What did you think?”

“It was fun,” she said.

He laughed as if she had told the funniest joke in the world. “That’s what I like to hear. Pure, unadulterated lying. So, can we go now?”

“We just got here.”

“We came, we skied. Good enough for me.”

She tried to make her voice sound carefree. “Trying to get rid of me?”

“I’d rather spend every hour of this day staring at you instead of fearing for your life. When we get out of here, the weight of the whole mountain will lift from my shoulders.”

“It’s been a very heavy weight, hasn’t it? Dragging me around the state, babysitting my every move.” she said.

“I’ve loved every minute of it. Except the times you almost died.”

She couldn’t match his high spirits. His behavior didn’t make sense unless he was very happy to be rid of her.

He led her to a group of benches near a small shack that housed a refreshment stand. “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

“Jah,” she said, maneuvering her skis so she could sit. “A nice break before we go back out.”

He rolled his eyes, released his skis, and stabbed his poles into the snow. “I’ll be right back.” He looked back at her as he walked away and flashed her a smile that melted the snow ten feet in every direction.

“The Amish girl skis too?”

Rebecca turned to see Tara in a sleek black snowsuit with an electric blue beanie. She studied Rebecca with that devil-may-care look Rebecca had seen more times than she cared to remember. “First time skiing?” she said.

“Yes,” Rebecca said.

“I figured,” Tara said. “Levi’s never done the bunny hill in his life.”

“It was fun,” Rebecca said. “Do you ski the bunny hill too?”

Tara laughed at Rebecca’s ignorance. “I’m an instructor. I live at the lodge all winter and teach little kids how to ski. You did pretty well, but you need to loosen up. Stay as stiff as a board and you’ll wipe out every time.”

“Levi told me. It is easier said than done.”

“The skiing was probably Levi’s idea, huh? He loves to ski. We came up all the time last winter. I’m kinda surprised you’re still dating. Nothing personal, but Amish girls aren’t really his type.”

“As you have said before.”

“I guess maybe a guilty conscience keeps him around,” Tara said.

Against her better judgment, Rebecca took the bait. “What do you mean?”

“He hasn’t told you, has he? Isn’t that just like a guy? Get what they can and lie to you while doing it.”

“He has told me about the things he used to do.”

“You don’t know the worst, Becky. Believe me, if you did, you’d have been long gone by now,” Tara said. “Levi is not the good guy you think he is. He’s been in lots of trouble. Lots.”

Rebecca wouldn’t give Tara the satisfaction of thinking she was the least bit curious. Levi’s face was an open book. He couldn’t hide anything from her.

“Like a week after his dad packed up and moved to Chicago, Levi raided the liquor his dad had left behind, and he and three friends got stinking drunk,” Tara said. “He hated his dad so bad.”

He still does.

“Levi has told me all about his drinking,” Rebecca said. “He hasn’t had a drink in almost five months.”

“That’s not the worst of it.”

Rebecca looked up. Levi trudged toward her empty-handed. She recognized the moment he caught sight of Tara. Quickening his pace, he closed the distance between them in record time.

“Tara,” he said. “You worked at a different resort last year.” He stood next to Rebecca and popped his boots into his skis.

“Didn’t expect to see me?”

Levi tried to ignore his old girlfriend. “Sorry about the hot chocolate, Rebecca. The machine broke.”

Rebecca stood up. “That’s okay. It’s better I don’t risk spilling it.”

Levi put his hand on Rebecca’s elbow. “Nice to see you, Tara. We’re going now.”

“I just got off,” Tara said. “If you want, Rebecca, I’ll take you on one of the steeper runs. Not real hard, but better than this Mickey Mouse hill.”

“No, that’s okay, Tara,” Levi said. “We were leaving.”

Tara glared at Levi. “You have this bad habit of answering for Rebecca when she should answer for herself. What do you say, Rebecca? I’m a good instructor. I can show you what to do.”

Rebecca should have declined Tara’s offer immediately. But Levi’s cheerful mood had left Rebecca completely out of sorts. Every smile, every gesture made her want to lash out at him. Didn’t he care that this was their last day together?

“I would like to do something a little faster,” she said.

“Okay,” Tara said. “We’ll do Backbone Ridge.”

“No way, Tara,” Levi protested. “It’s too hard for Rebecca.”

“Now you’re telling her what she can and can’t do? You’re such a jerk, Levi.”

Rebecca should have defended Levi and backed out of this stupid plan. Levi, always so careful, knew what she could handle.

Shouldn’t their last day together be filled with good memories?

Jah, there would be memories. Memories of Levi’s couldn’t-behappier face when he told her good-bye forever. Memories of her burying her head in the pillow, trying to shut out the sound of his voice in her head.

Gliding on their skis, they followed Tara to the chairlift.

“You need about two more weeks of skiing before you try this,” Levi said.

“I don’t have two weeks.”

“I promised your fater I would keep you safe, kid. If you get hurt, he’s never going to trust me again.”

Rebecca pushed aside her irritation. “It doesn’t matter what Tara says. I want to do a steeper hill. The kids’ hill doesn’t really count as skiing to me.”

Levi looked away and let out a deep breath. “I knew you’d say that.”

“We can take it slow. Then we can get ourselves lost at the bottom so Tara can’t find us.”

He looked up the hill to the top of the run—probably calculating how far she was likely to fall. “Okay,” he said. “If you promise to do the snowplow thing the entire way down.”

“I promise that no matter what I do, you will be in a panic by the time we get to the bottom.”

“I guarantee that,” Levi said.

They let Tara go ahead of them. Rebecca held her breath as the chair sneaked up behind them and lifted them off the ground. She held the cross bar with an iron grip as they rose higher off the ground.

“We’re almost there,” Levi said. “Put the tips of your skis into the air when you meet the ground and slide off.”

Rebecca watched the people in front of them easily glide off the lift. How hard could it be? Her skis clonked the snow-covered ground below her, and she pushed off the chair with sufficient force. Unfortunately, her pole clamped itself around the back of the chair and she crashed spectacularly, face-first into the snow.

Levi hooked his arm under Rebecca’s armpit and lifted her out of the way of the oncoming chairs.

Tara, who waited for them at the side of the run, grabbed Rebecca’s other arm and pulled her along. The muscles in Levi’s arm tightened around her, and he growled under his breath.

They found a flat boulder to sit on while Rebecca regained what little pride she had left.

“Don’t worry,” Levi said, “people do that all the time.”

Tara smirked. “Not often.”

Levi snapped his head up and scowled at Tara, but it didn’t matter to Rebecca. Tara’s bitterness slid off her like skis over the snow.

Rebecca pulled her gloves tighter around her wrists and zipped her coat to her chin. She watched as skiers practically leaped off the edge of the trail and raced down the mountain at dizzying speeds. She was going to be sick.

What did she think she was doing here? It wasn’t like a roller coaster where she sat as a passive participant in complete terror but never really risked injury. Watching the other skiers fly down the hill, she considered the very real possibility of her death.

Rebecca closed her eyes and willed her heartbeat to slow to a gallop. She had never given up on any of their adventures before. She couldn’t quit at the last one. She just couldn’t. Besides, how many people actually ever died on a ski slope?

Levi pulled her to her feet. “Are you breathing? Breathe, Rebecca.” He put his skis parallel to hers and pulled her into his arms. “We are not doing this,” he said. “I’ve never seen you this bad. We did the bunny hill. That’s enough.”

Rebecca pulled away from him. “Nae, I’ve got to do it.”

“I can help her all the way down,” Tara said. “People pay big bucks for my instructions.”

Levi’s voice was mild even though his words were sharp. “I don’t trust you, Tara. Stay away.”

Rebecca tried to calm her breathing even as she felt beads of sweat slide down the back of her neck. “Tomorrow is the five-year anniversary of Dottie Mae’s accident. I have to finish it. For her.”

Even through their thick jackets, Rebecca could feel Levi’s arms tense. “What did you say?”

Tara clapped her hand over her mouth, and her eyes grew rounder than platters. “Oh, ho. It just gets worse and worse for you, doesn’t it?”

A wild, confused look jumped into Levi’s eyes. Even with his skis on, he staggered backward in the snow. “Don’t say another word, Tara.”

“December sixteenth,” Tara said. “I remember it well because it is my brother’s birthday.”

“Shut up, Tara!” Levi yelled. “Shut up.” He took Rebecca’s arm as if to move her away from Tara, but there was nowhere for them to go but down.

Tara somehow managed to slide between Levi and Rebecca. “Five years ago. That’s the night Levi and Derek and the other guys got drunk and plowed Derek’s car into an Amish buggy. Killed the little girl instantly. Her dad had to get like four surgeries on his leg.”

Wild-eyed, Levi backed away from Rebecca, sank to the boulder, and buried his face in his hands. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was her.”

A high-pitched ringing started in Rebecca’s ears as her surroundings blurred. This…the voices…she could barely make sense of anything. “Was Levi driving?”

“No, Derek was. Lucky they were all underage, or Derek would have seen some serious prison time. Levi got juvey overnight for giving Derek the alcohol.” Tara gave Rebecca’s shoulder a pat. “Was that girl a friend of yours?”

Rebecca stood motionless. On the inside, she experienced the perfect storm as a thousand shards of ice pierced her heart.

Dottie Mae. My best friend.

Lost when four drunken boys ignored a stop sign and crashed into her buggy, reducing it to kindling. Four boys who cared more about the trouble they’d be in than my best friend’s life. My friend who would never ride a roller coaster, never ski, and never kiss a boy.

She had spent five years hating those boys. They had killed Dottie Mae. They didn’t deserve to go on enjoying their lives while having robbed Dottie Mae of hers. Rebecca’s heart almost exploded out of her chest with anger and despair.

Nothing would atone for what Levi and his friends had done to Dottie Mae. He couldn’t begin to repay such a debt by a few weak attempts to show an Amish girl a good time.

“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.”

God will make him pay for what he did.

The stifling heat of the bright snow made her catch her breath. She was going to suffocate. The ringing in her ears became unbearable, and Tara said something Rebecca didn’t hear.

Levi stood up, and even on his skis, he seemed to stumble as he came toward her. “I didn’t know, Rebecca. I didn’t know.”

Rebecca recoiled at his touch. Her only thought was to get far away from that boy who’d killed Dottie Mae.

That boy she had trusted with her deepest secrets.

That boy she loved with every breath she took.

With her meager skill, Rebecca pushed with all her might to the edge of the drop. She heard both Tara and Levi yell as she plunged down the hill at a reckless speed. With no one ahead of her for several yards, she managed to stay upright, keeping both skis pointed downhill and concentrating every bit of energy on staying on her feet. But almost halfway down the hill, she encountered a tall lump of ice and flew wildly through the air. She hit the ground, and her feet flew out from under her, hurtling her into the trees on the side of the run. A sickening
crack
was followed by a nauseating pain traveling from her shoulder to her neck. Coming to a stop, she moaned and then managed to roll onto her back so she wouldn’t get a mouthful of snow.