Rebel Angel: A Sainted Sinners Novel (10 page)

“You have me,” Ezra said. “I’m here specifically to protect you.”

“For now, sure.”

Ezra looked a little surprised at that, which Aurora found gratifying.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean, Le Medcin isn’t some perfect neutral,” she explained. “He wants something from me. Otherwise, why bother with any of it.”

Ezra was silent, so she pressed on.

“I’m guessing that he told you what he wanted,” she said, keeping her tone light and conversational though her words were anything but. “I’m guessing he told you which side I need to pick.”

Ezra sipped his drink, still without comment. Aurora set hers down, looking straight at Ezra.

“Did he tell you what will happen if I don’t choose what he wants?” she asked.

A muscle in Ezra’s jaw ticced, which was all the answer Aurora needed.

“He did, then. You see, I was right. Angels, demons, gods… they can’t help themselves. The life of one Null means nothing in the grand scheme of their stupid war. Yeah, it’d be better if they managed to get me to pick their side. But if it looks like I’ll go the other way, they won’t hesitate to kill me.”

“No one’s going to kill you,” Ezra growled, looking at her with his green eyes ablaze. “On my honor, I will never let that happen.”

“Not even if you’re commanded to do it, as part of your duty to Le Medcin?” she asked.

“Not even then,” he said, his promise ringing deep and true.

Aurora turned away, picking up her drink again. Against her better judgment, she believed Ezra. At least, she believed that he would never willing hurt her, but…

There were greater forces in the world than one Fallen angel. He might have defected from Hell, but he couldn’t go against Heaven if something was commanded of him.

She tipped back her glass, finishing the contents. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Ezra, not tonight. Tonight was about purging the last of her mourning blues, nothing more.

“I have an idea,” she said.

Ezra gave her a long look. “What’s that?”

“Why don’t we take the rest of the pitcher out to the Faerie pond?”

His expression was half relief, half skepticism.

“That’s it, you’re just changing topics?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you want to keep drinking?” he asked.

Aurora shot him an exasperated look. “Yes. With you or without you, I promise.”

Ezra’s lips twitched, but he didn’t argue. “All right. Lead the way.”

She carried the glasses, leaving Ezra to ferry the pitcher. At the last second, she grabbed a silky throw blanket from the living room, then headed for the Faerie pond.

As soon as she stepped outside, she sighed. The night was warm, nearly sultry as they neared the small swimming hole. Their walk was quiet, aside from a few times when Aurora misstepped or stumbled a little on the sandy path.

All right, maybe I’m a little more tipsy than I realized
, she thought.

Once Aurora stepped into the Faerie clearing, she saw that a small shaft of moonlight poured down, illuminating the spot where she and Ezra had sat before.

Not one to argue with something so lovely, Aurora skirted the pond and sat down the glasses. She spread out the blanket and settled across from Ezra, who glanced around the forest.

“Quiet out here,” he commented.

As he spoke, soft lights began to flit and twinkle.

“I guess the Faeries were waiting for us,” she said, unable to repress a smile.

“One of the perks of having an enchanted forest in your backyard,” he said, pouring them another round of margaritas.

She nodded, then leaned back and stared up at a little patch of starry sky visible through the treetops.

“Why don’t you live here full time?” she asked. She straightened to look at Ezra, a little fission of heat going through her body when she caught him staring at her with a hooded gaze.

“I never thought about it,” he said with a shrug. “I travel a lot for Mere Marie, so it seems easy to just stay at the manor house with her.”

“Sounds fancy,” Aurora said, smirking a little.

“It’s not shabby, that’s for certain. Meals are prepared by a chef, someone presses my laundry,” he said. “Maybe I’ll talk to her about moving in here, eventually.”

“You’d need a roommate,” Aurora said. “It would get lonely.”

Amusement lifted Ezra’s lips. “Are you volunteering?”

Aurora’s cheeks flushed.

“No… I was just… making conversation.”

“Mmhm,” he said, leaning back and sipping his drink.

They were quiet for a minute, then Ezra spoke again.

“Where did you think you would be right now, a year ago?” he asked, echoing their earlier conversation.

Aurora took a sip of her drink, thinking.

“Running.”

“Ah. So not that far from the truth.”

Aurora raised her brows. “If I was running right now, I’d be so far gone that no one could find me.”

“I’m like… the fourth person in New Orleans to know who and where you are. Clearly you aren’t that good at hiding.”

Aurora scoffed. “I tried something new this time, staying in one place a little longer. It didn’t pan out.”

“How often do you usually move?”

“Every few months. New city, new apartment. I usually pick a human roommate, just so I don’t go completely nuts locked up by myself. Not that I socialize with them, just… to have someone nearby.”

“You didn’t know about Vesper’s powers when you chose her as a roommate, then?”

Aurora snorted. “
She
didn’t know about them either, I’ll have you know.”

“So I heard. She and Kirael have quite the story.”

“Yeah, it would make a really good romantic thriller movie,” Aurora said. “Lots of twists and turns.”

“Well, it worked out in the end. Before they got together, I wasn’t sure…” he said, hesitating.

“Sure of what?” she asked.

He looked as though he was trying to choose his words, taking a few moments before answering. Aurora eyed him as he gazed off into the distance, taking him in. He wore a tight-fitting navy t-shirt and dark jeans. He was barefoot, leaning back in a way that showed off his bulging biceps.

At the sleeve and collar of his shirt, she could see dark lines of ink poking out. She almost asked about them, then realized that Ezra was answering her question from before.

“I wasn’t sure that Fallen, or former Fallen, could take mates. It’s not done in Heaven or in Hell, as far as I know.”

“Ah. I guess that’s a good thing to know. I mean, for
you
to know,” Aurora said. “I don’t need to know about that, is what I mean.”

“Right,” he said.

“Right,” she echoed.

They both looked away, sipping their drinks.

What is wrong with me right now?
she wondered.
I’m acting like I have some huge embarrassing crush on him, which I don’t.

And then,
I don’t, right?

She toed off her shoes and moved closer to the water, putting her feet in. Ezra rolled up his jeans and did the same, sitting only a few inches away. He was so close that she had to work not to touch him, so close that she could feel the warmth radiating off his big body.

She looked up at him, blinking. “You are so big.”

Her face went hot when she heard her own words. “Crap, I think I might be a little…”

“Drunk?” he asked, looking amused.

“Tipsy,” she corrected. “Still, I’m right. You’re all… tall, and stuff.”

“Well said,” he teased. “You got something against tall people?”

“No, it’s just…” she said, then stopped. She had to break the eye contact, so she looked at the pond instead, kicking her feet.

“It’s just what?” he asked.

He leaned a little closer, brushing a lock of hair back from her cheek. She shivered, though he hadn’t touched her.

“It’s nice to see you tongue tied, for once,” he said, his voice soft.

Aurora glanced up at him, catching his eye for a moment and then letting her gaze drop to his lips. She licked her own lips, her chest rising and falling.

“I…” she started, but Ezra moved in before she had to decide what to say.

His big hand cradled her cheek, pulled her in. His lips brushed over hers, sending a bolt of white heat through her veins. His first kiss was soft, tentative.

His second kiss was harder, drawing her in. The tip of his tongue teased her lips and she opened for him, slowly, her hand creeping up to his neck.

The second his tongue stroked hers, something dark and hot combusted within her. She arched her back, moaning into the kiss, her fingers delving into Ezra’s dark hair.

A low growl rumbled from his chest as he took control, lifting her chin and bending her back, his hand skating along her ribs, exploring her hip. His hand slid around to the small of her back, pulling her against the dense wall of his body.

She shivered at the way he held her, his fingers trailing up and down her spine in lazy circles as he ravished her with his lips, tongue, and teeth. He nipped her lower lip, then broke the kiss to explore the line of her jaw, to press hot kisses and gentle bites at the most tender spot on her neck.

She’d been too long without this, without a man who knew how to touch her, how to make her feel pleasure. Already she ached for more, her breasts tight and hot, her panties dampening a little more with every touch of his lips to her too-hot skin.

He pulled down one of the straps of her dress, ever-so-slowly, teasing. He kissed her shoulder, her collarbone. Cupped the fullness of her breast, trailed his lips over the top until she was biting her lip, trying not to gasp, trying not to beg him for more.

She wanted nothing more than to rip off her clothes, shred his, and pull him down to the ground. She wanted to straddle him, take him slow inch by inch, torture them both until he lost patience, wrested control from her.

Her fingers found the hem of his shirt, her hand slid underneath to explore the hot, hard wall of his stomach. He was the sexiest man she’d ever laid eyes on, without a shadow of a doubt, and the fact that she was actually touching him only made the flames burn higher, hotter.

He groaned, then slowed his touch. Raising his head, he looked at her with a tortured expression.

“Aurora…” he said, something dark in his eyes.

Thinking he was asking for permission, she leaned closer, brushing her lips over his. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gently setting her back.

“We shouldn’t,” he said, his breath still unsteady. “You’re drunk, and… I’m supposed to be protecting you…”

Aurora went rigid, pushing his hand away.

“Right,” she ground out, feeling ashamed. He didn’t want her. “Of course.”

She clambered to her feet, picking up her glass and her shoes.

“Wait, don’t—” he tried, but she shut him down.

“Bring the blanket in when you come inside, will you?” she asked, already on her way out of the clearing.

“Aurora… Aurora, don’t go…” he said, making one last attempt.

Too late. Hot, shameful tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she fled, a frustrated growl threatening to escape from her throat.

Feeling like a childish fool, she rushed back to the house. She locked herself in her room, completely aware that she was throwing a silly tantrum like a wayward teenaged girl.

Tossing her shoes aside, she stripped off her dress and pulled on her pajamas.

I got out of bed a day too early, she thought. If I’d just stayed here one more day, maybe…

Maybe what? She replayed the whole evening in her mind.

Ezra had moved close to her. He’d made the first move, pressing his lips to hers. He instigated the whole thing, there was no doubt about that.

So why did she feel so rejected?

Blowing out a breath, she pulled a pillow over her face.

Just accept it for what it was
, she told herself.
A kiss is enough.

The residual race of hormones and the tight ache low in her body disagreed. She turned over with a sigh, struggling to push the whole thing from her mind.

It’s better this way
, she thought. She had things to accomplish, too much to be distracted like with romance. And with a Fallen angel, no less…

Have I learned nothing?
she wondered, not for the first time.
Mother’s obsession with Armeros began almost exactly the same way, didn’t it?

And now Aurora was running for her life, trying to avenge her mother’s death.

You know how that story ends, she thought.

When Ezra knocked on her door sometime later, she didn’t ignore him. Instead, she sat up and called through the door.

“I’m sleeping!” she said. “We can talk later.”

He said something, but his voice was too muffled by the door for her to quite make it out. An apology, perhaps.

After a minute, all was silent, and she knew he’d left her alone.

That’s what I wanted
, she told herself.
Alone is better, safer.

If only it didn’t make her feel quite so sad…

E
zra spent
the next day in the lounge, restlessly turning the pages of a novel. He read and reread the same passages again and again, yet could not make heads or tails of it. Perhaps it was his fault for picking up a complex novel while he was so distracted.

The sun rose and set twice, and yet not a sound from Aurora’s room.

He’d really, truly screwed things up the night before. She’d been so open for him, the taste of her skin and lips better than he could’ve imagined.

And yet, he’d rebuffed her. Let thoughts of his duty to protect her rise, let the idea of his honor weigh heavy on his shoulders.

He desired her, there was no question of that. She was beautiful and intelligent, and as fiery as her own flaming red tresses. The second she accepted his kiss, sighing softly against his lips, he realized how desperate he was for more.

More of her satin-soft skin under his fingertips, more of the way she’d cocked her head to show him just where she wanted him to kiss her neck. More of her quietly excited gasps, more of the passion burning in those big sapphire eyes.

That was the part that he kept getting stuck on, sitting in the living room the next day. The part where she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. For just a moment, she put aside her concerns about their differences, and simply gave herself up to him.

Submission. Trust. Desire. She’d displayed it all, ready to give him a meaningful part of herself.

And he’d thrown it all away, for what? After all, there was no rule that said he couldn’t protect her and give her pleasure, was there?

Something dark knotted inside him, resisting. He was honor-bound, and not just to Le Medcin and Mere Marie.

No, the trouble was that he liked her. Admired her, felt a kind of affection for her. And because of that, he felt restricted by his own oath of protection and service. Her life was more important than what he wanted, more important even than what she might have wanted, in the moment.

Now, surely, she’d lost all interest. Ezra wasn’t sure if that thought brought relief, or fresh self-torment.

Closing the hardback book with a snap, he stood. A trip out of the safe house wouldn’t hurt anything, and might improve his mood. Besides, he was almost out of coffee. That was completely unacceptable.

He started to head for Aurora’s bedroom, thinking to knock and ask her for any requests. He slowed, then sighed. It might be cowardly, but he didn’t want to knock on her door and get another
maybe later
.

Instead, he found a pad of paper and a pen and wrote her a quick note, indicating that he would be back shortly. Feeling nothing short of ridiculous, he put on his boots and grabbed his wallet, then headed out.

The first breath of air outside the safe house was refreshing. Being cooped up with Aurora was intense on several levels. After almost two weeks, maybe it really was starting to get to him.

He went first to the grocery store, then headed to French Truck coffee to pick up from fresh coffee beans and cold brew. When he stepped inside the little shop, there were a few people in line ahead of him.

He waited patiently, shifting the paper bag of groceries from one arm to the other, letting the scent of freshly-roasted coffee waft over him. When he got up to the front, he impulsively ordered a shot in the dark to drink on the way home.

Black coffee with an extra shot of espresso, just what you need before going back to the safe house, he thought. He shrugged, then carried everything out to the tiny patio in front of the shop.

Being outside was pleasant, his coffee was delicious, and it was nice to just… sit.

He set his groceries aside, sipped his coffee, and leaned back. After a moment, he let his eyes close and let out a big, pent-up breath.

“You look like a cat sunning itself,” came a deep voice.

Ezra peeled his eyes open. He rose to his feet like a shot. Before him stood a tall, muscular man with white-blond hair. He wore the heavy white robes of an upper-echelon angel, completely conspicuous down on the mortal plane.

“Armeros,” he said, instantly suspicious. “What are you doing down here? Shouldn’t you be up
there
, bossing around the lesser angels?”

“Isn’t it obvious, old friend?” Armeros crossed his arms, staring Ezra down with gleaming silver eyes.

“We were never friends,” Ezra said flatly.

Armeros’s lips thinned. “Just a turn of phrase, Ezra. I came to talk to you.”

“The last time I saw you, you were hunting me,” Ezra growled. “Excuse my skepticism.”

“I wasn’t hunting you, I was hunting all the Fallen,” he said, his tone amused. “Don’t be so sensitive.”

“You have three seconds to tell me what you want, or I will draw my sword.”

Armeros’s gaze narrowed. He didn’t respond to the threat, which was unlike Armeros; usually the angel was always quick on the draw. Ezra’s suspicions grew, making Armero’s next words hardly surprising.

“I came to offer you… a deal, of sorts.” Armeros plucked at his robes, brushing away invisible dirt.

“I don’t want it,” Ezra said, picking up his grocery bag. To Hell with the coffee, he’d make more once he was far, far away from Armeros.

“Now, now,” Armeros said mildly. “You haven’t heard what I’m offering yet.”

“I don’t care. You were a slippery bastard when I worked with you in Heaven, I doubt you’ve changed since.”

“Hear me out now, or I will follow you until I find the Null. I know you have her stashed somewhere,” Armeros said.

Ezra stilled. “You’re bluffing.”

“I’m not. I scryed for her, saw her in the mirror. Quite a pretty thing. Too bad the mirror wouldn’t show me her location. Got her in a bolt-hole, I’m guessing?”

“None of your concern. Say your piece, and then get out of my way,” Ezra gritted out.

Armeros smirked. “It’s simple, really. I want you to encourage her to side with Heaven. Seduce her, make her fall in love with you. Or blackmail her, if you have to. I really don’t care.”

“Interesting proposition. Are we done here?” Ezra asked, growing more impatient by the moment.

“In return, your name would no longer be stricken from Heaven’s books.”

Ezra stilled. “You’re offering me a chance to return to Heaven?”

“Not as such. You betrayed us, we’d never take you back. But you’d be… neutral. It would be as if you simply left Heaven on good terms, rather than defecting with Lucifer.”

“Pass,” Ezra said.

“Really? You want your soul handed over to Lucifer?”

“I’m an angel, it doesn’t work like that.”

“It does for Fallen,” Armeros said, crossing his arms. “A little deal we worked out with Lucifer. Benefits both sides, you see.”

Ezra watched him for a moment, knew he was being truthful.

“It hardly benefits me,” he said.

“You’d have the chance to redeem yourself, eventually. Return to Heaven, if you work hard enough, long enough.”

As much as he wanted to dismiss Armeros, walk away and forget the whole thing, it was a hard offer to leave on the table. A return to Heaven… it was unthinkable, something that every Fallen angel secretly wanted, no matter how long he’d been gone from the place.

“What if I can’t do it?” he asked.

“Then… neutralize her,” Armeros said. “Not that I’d go around advertising this, but Heaven already holds a Null. We want her on our side, but if we can’t have that…”

Armeros shrugged.

“Kill her, you’re saying,” Ezra said, disbelieving.

“I’m saying, do what needs doing. That’s your whole thing, right? Dutiful soldier, willing to do anything to protect and serve?”

Ezra felt himself go hot all over. “I think you should go, Armeros.”

The angel laughed. “You always were a humorless prick. Think about the girl, Ezra. Wouldn’t it be better for her if she declared her intentions to side with Heaven, secured some kind of oath with us? Then she’d be done with all of it.”

“Unless any of Heaven’s legion enemies found her and slit her throat,” Ezra said.

“We could keep her somewhere safe, Ezra. You’re being needlessly stubborn.”

“Cage her, for her entire mortal life. And probably hold her soul after that, right?”

Ameros went still and serious as death. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Ezra said, realizing that he’d revealed too much. “Just… a supposition.”

“You’d better figure out just which side you’re on, Fallen. Metatron ordered me to come down here and try to find a peaceful solution, but I will happily kill you and the girl. I really, truly wouldn’t mind a single bit,” Armeros said.

“It’ll be a cold day in Hell that you get the jump on a Destroyer,” Ezra said.

They glared at each other for half a minute before Armeros’s features went blank, eerily calm.

“Think about my offer, Fallen. Let’s say… a week.”

“And then what?”

“Then, I come for you both. I have a mission to fulfill, just like you do.”

“You do know that if Le Medcin finds out about this, he’ll come down on you. Hard. He’s the referee, and he takes his job seriously.”

The corners of Armeros’s lips curled up cruelly.

“Are you going to blow the whistle on me then, Fallen?”

Ezra picked up his coffee and sipped it. Somehow, it had lost most of its appeal.

“Maybe,” he said.

“You know what he’d probably find much more interesting? I think there’s a very interesting tale to be told about you and the girl.”

Ezra scowled, then forced his expression to go blank. “What are you talking about?”

“Any other Fallen would jump at the chance I’m offering you now. I’m thinking there’s a reason you’re ignoring the bargain.”

“Sure, it’s called morality. You should look into it.”

Armeros smirked. “I’m only doing what needs doing. Someone has to do Heaven’s dirty work. You should know that better than anyone.”

“Are we done here? This is getting repetitive.”

“I don’t care about the girl. I don’t care about about you. I care about the outcome,” Armeros said. “If I have to weave a story about your passionate affair to isolate her, I will. I don’t care what the costs are.”

“Wonderful. Again, I think you have a serious reckoning coming. Le Medcin is going to pound you into dust if he gets so much as a hint of the craziness you’re spouting.”

“And what will he do to you if he finds out that you’re sleeping with the last living Null?”

Ezra’s fists tighten, his jaw tensing.

“I am not.”

“Fine. In love with her, then.”

“Go straight to Hell, Armeros.”

“I don’t have to be dead on,” Armeros said. “I just have to get a tiny kernel of truth. From that, I can grow a forest of half-truths, and bury you in it.”

Ezra looked at Armeros for a long moment. The angel’s eyes were wide with a kind of manic glee; it would be useless to argue with him, maybe even dangerous. The last thing Ezra wanted was to provoke Armeros into attacking at random.

“Well… I can’t decide right now. I need time to… consider your offer.”

“A week. Spend it wisely, Ezra. I’ll be seeing you in seven days, Hell or high water.”

Ezra just stood his ground and stared Armeros down until the angel shrugged, turned, and walked away. After a few moments, Armeros released his wings and took flight, heedless of a pair of baffled teenagers pointing and exclaiming at the sight.

Ezra tossed his coffee, hoisting the bag of groceries. Head in the clouds, he headed back toward the safe house.

“I’ll be seeing you in seven days, Hell or high water,” the blond man declared to Ezra.

Aurora had to duck back behind the coffee shop to avoid being seen. When she stuck her head out again, the angel had actually spread his wings and taken flight, right there on the street.

Armeros. Ezra had said the angel’s name, nearly giving Aurora a heart attack. The same cruel angel who took her mother away, standing right there. Almost within striking distance.

And yet, she didn’t move. Frozen with fear, watching Armeros fly away.

Ezra stood there staring after the other angel for a few moments, then shook his head and left the patio.

Heart pounding, Aurora flattened herself against the side of the coffee shop. She could hear her mother’s voice, plain as day.

Eavesdroppers rarely hear good of themselves
, her mother liked to say.

But how often did they witness something as insane as Aurora had? She bit her lip and glanced around, nervous.

She shouldn’t have left the safe house in the first place. Not when there were so many agents of Heaven and Hell crawling all over the city, looking for to mount her head on a pike.

Still, when she walked into the kitchen just in time to hear the safe house’s front door slam… she couldn’t resist. Eschewing the note on the counter, she’d grabbed her flats and hightailed it out the door to follow Ezra.

Most of the trip was uneventful, but it was kind of fun to sneakily follow him around. She’d watched him from afar, even entering the coffee shop through a side door once he went onto the front patio.

She’d planned to grab a matcha latte and casually stroll out to reveal herself, but then the creepy angel arrived…

Tea forgotten, she’d snuck outside to listen in.

And oh, what she overheard…

She honestly wasn’t sure what the worst part was. That the angel casually ordered Ezra to make her fall in love with him? That the fallback plan was her cold-blooded murder?

Or the way Ezra didn’t argue or defend anything, just let the blond man talk and talk. It was all terrible, layer upon layer of horror.

The worst part was, she couldn’t do anything about it. Her choices were few: return to the safe house as if nothing had happened, or head for the hills and give up her chance to free her mother’s soul.

She couldn’t just sit out in the open and mull her choices over, either. The best place for her right now was at the safe house… with a man that she clearly couldn’t trust.

Her heart dropped again when she realized that she’d come to rely on Ezra, at least a little. Found him comforting, not to mention kind and attractive.

All of that is over now,
she thought.
I can still go through with my plan, still stay at the safe house. Hell, I can lust after Ezra all I want… but I can’t trust him.