Rebel Angel: A Sainted Sinners Novel (29 page)

Or from staring at Vesper, longing for her touch...

K
irael stood on a hill
, looking down as the first fiery rays of morning began to illuminate the battle field. His sword was heavy in his hand, but it was no comfort to him.

Belial walked up beside him, adjusting his leather armor. He smelled of liquor, mixed with the faint musk of the whore he’d lain with the night before. Tall, dark, and classically handsome, Belial never denied himself the pleasures of the human world.

Kirael could barely stand to look at him, the Fallen he’d fought beside since time immemorial.

Far across the dusty expanse, human fighters straggled into sight, their white turbans bright against the rubble-strewn ground. åAll around them, the bombed-out remnants of the city lay like fallen soldiers.

“You look like shit,” Belial said, holding out his hand to summon his sword.

Kirael glanced at him, but didn’t respond. Though they’d done this countless times, descending on an impending battle and wreaking havoc to ensure their outcome, this time felt…

Different.

“This is wrong,” Kirael said at length. “These men will be defenseless against us.”

“I can see their guns from here,” Belial grunted.

“You know what I mean,” Kirael said. “We’ll slaughter them. It will be a bloodbath.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

Kirael scowled. “We are not needed here.”

“And yet, Lucifer commanded us to settle this fight. What more do you need?”

“Angels battling humans,” Kirael spat. “It is unjust.”

Belial turned to him, his expression hard. “What is your problem?”

Kirael was quiet for a beat.

“Do you never tire of it?”

“Of battle? Never.”

“Of bringing death,” Kirael corrected him. “Do you never wish for more? In the beginning, before the Fall, we all swore to bring a new world order.”

“And we have. We’ve influenced every major event in the history of humanity,” Belial said.

“We were going to bring back the Garden,” Kirael continued, ignoring him. “We were going to raise humans up, end their suffering. Now, we only kill.”

“It is our designation, it’s what we were designed to do,” Belial said, shaking his head. “For there to be life, there must be death.”

“Our cause was lost, from the moment of the Fall. Now all we represent is trickery and deceit. Pain, mourning, death. We are only here to inflame the passions of these people, so that they will strike at their foes without thinking. This is beneath us, Belial.”

Belial lifted his sword, considering it for a moment.

“You are close to treason, my friend,” Belial said.

Kirael’s heart dropped. “I only want what Lucifer promised, in the beginning—”

Belial whirled on him. “Enough! We have everything that Lucifer sees fit to give us. Money, women, every luxury. It is a good life, if you will only accept it.”

“Belial…”

“Not another word,” the Fallen snapped. “Or I will cut your tongue from your mouth, shear your wings from your shoulders. I will take your head, if I can.”

Kirael and Belial stared at one another for several long moments, breathing hard. After a moment, Belial stepped back.

“You need a break. After today, take some time to reflect. Even the most loyal heart tires after so much time, Kirael. I know you, friend. I know you do not intend treason.”

Kirael dropped his gaze. He wasn’t sure what he meant, not anymore.

Belial clapped him on the shoulder. “Prepare yourself for the fight. After this, we can discuss your thoughts in more depth.”

Kirael let Belial’s words soothe him, though part of him knew that discussion would not be enough.

“Hail Lucifer!” Belial said, raising his sword toward the battle field.

Enemy soldiers rushed toward them now, guns at the ready. Adrenaline filled Kirael’s veins, and he too raised his sword.

As one, he and Belial cried out and rushed down into the thick of the battle, swords swinging. He raised his sword, ready to take his first life of the fresh dawn.

Before him, his first opponent rushed in, a boy of no more than seventeen. Gritting his teeth, Kirael plunged his sword down, straight through the soldier’s chest.

As Kirael pulled his sword free, he watched the light in the boy’s eyes flicker and fade. Suddenly, the boy’s face shifted, his body shrinking.

The unknown boy morphed, and suddenly Vesper’s body dropped to Kirael’s feet. She gasped, blood pouring from her mouth. Her hands flew to the wound at the center of her chest, trying in vain to keep her life’s blood from draining away…

“No!” Kirael shouted. “No!”

He blinked, and the battle field was gone. He stood in his own bedroom, naked and covered in sweat, shaking.

“No,” he whispered, even though he knew it was only a dream.

He’d killed that boy, sure enough, and a hundred others on that day. And he regretted it to his core, as he now regretted every such act he’d committed in Lucifer’s name.

“Vesper…” he said aloud, the sound of her name bitter on his lips.

This, this was the reason I can’t… don’t deserve…

He couldn’t even finish the thought. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he dropped his head into his hands.

I am playing a dangerous game. This flirtation with Vesper… she needs a man whose hands are not wet with the blood of so many innocents…

And yet, as he forced himself to lie back down in his bed, he knew he would go to her. That he needed to see her, couldn’t stay away. Even just to make sure she was safe. Even if he took nothing for himself…

That could be enough, couldn’t it?

It will have to be enough.

V
esper woke in the night
, sitting up in bed. She glanced around Kirael's guest bedroom, her brain still fuzzy with sleep.

There, the sound came again. A low keening, sorrowful.

Kirael, she thought.

Rising, she threw back the blankets and padded out of her room. The wood floor was cold against her bare feet as she went to Kirael's bedroom door. It was open a crack, and she heard another groan.

Biting her lip and moving as quietly as possible, she nudged his door open wider.

"No!" he shouted suddenly, making her jump.

Vesper pushed the door wide. Moonlight splashed across his bed, illuminating Kirael as he slept. He was naked except for a slip of sheet around his hips, sprawled on his stomach.

He made another low sound, the muscles in his back rippling and tensing.

"Forgive me..." he whispered, his fists clenching. The broken plea tugged at Vesper's heart strings; she should wake him, free him from his nightmare.

Softly as she could, she moved close and put a hand on Kirael's shoulder.

"Kirael," she whispered. "Kirael, wake up."

He shifted onto his back, but didn't open his eyes.

"Kirael," she said, a little louder.

His eyes snapped open, unfocused. He sat up, grabbing her arm and yanking her down onto his lap. His breathing went harsh, and then he blinked at her.

"Vesper," he said, her name sounding melodic from his lips.

Vesper's breath caught in her chest as they stared at each other. Kirael's gaze dropped to her lips and her heartbeat sped to a gallop. When he leaned in to brush his lips over hers, she accepted him without a moment's thought.

The mere touch of their lips was like putting a match to flame. Suddenly, she couldn't get close enough to him. Suddenly, her panties and t-shirt were stifling; she wanted to feel Kirael's skin against her own, wanted to feel his heart beat in time with hers.

"Ah, Vesper..." he murmured, laying back on the bed.

He took her with him, laying her out atop his body. Letting Vesper feel every inch of his muscular body, feel his heavy erection pressed against her belly. No matter what he said, there was no doubt that he wanted her.

And Vesper was starving for him, burning alive with the need for his hands on her skin, his lips and tongue driving her wild. She was a person who tried not to need anyone, not to become dependent.

But at this moment, right here and now, she'd never needed anyone like she needed Kirael.

He tugged her shirt up over her head, baring her too-warm skin to the moonlight. His hands gripped her hips, skated up her ribs, shaped her breasts. He surged upward, his lips leaving her mouth to explore her neck, her collarbone, her already-aching nipple.

The wet heat of his mouth was almost more than she could handle. Vesper cried out when his teeth scraped her sensitive flesh, her hips grinding against his in response.

"Kirael, yes," she moaned. "I need you..."

He froze for a moment, a low growl rattling in his chest. Then Kirael spread his big hands around her waist and flipped her onto her back, covering her with his big body. The sheet slipped away, leaving him naked, showing her exactly what Kirael offered.

His sheer perfection took her breath away.

Vesper was desperate to touch him, running a hand from his back down to his taut backside. Pure muscle, not an ounce wasted. Kirael took her lips once more, gently thrusting against her through her panties.

They kissed, breathing hard. Vesper explored the rigid vee of muscles at his hip, then shifted to put a little space between them. Just enough to trail her fingers down until she circled her fingers around his cock.

Her sound of surprise was involuntary. Long, thick, and hot as fire, the feel of him in her hand made heat pool low in her body. Images flashed in her mind, images of Vesper on her knees, trying to take all of him in her mouth. Images of Kirael taking her hard from behind, of the look on his face when he sank deep inside her for the first time.

"Yes," she moaned.

Kirael captured her hands, pulling them up over her head, and kissed her deeply. He pulled her panties off in a single smooth motion, raising her anticipation another notch.

He cupped her breast, slid his hand down to tease her hip, then trailed his touch down to her knee. He parted her thighs and she opened for him, feeling herself blush even as her breath caught.

The brush of a single fingertip against her wetness made her moan. His thumb found her clit, rubbing in slow circles, and Vesper thought she might die right then and there.

“You’re so wet for me already,” Kirael said, leaning down to kiss the hollow of her throat, the slope of her neck.

She shivered, reaching for him, pulling him closer. “Please, Kirael. Don’t make me wait.”

“Mmmm,” he murmured, giving her another deep kiss on the lips. “Come here.”

He rolled onto his back again, pulling her atop him so that she straddled him boldly. She gasped as her heat met the length of his cock, making her ache for him, ache to be stretched and filled completely.

“Take what you want, Vesper,” Kirael growled, looking up at her with passion-darkened eyes.

Vesper bit her lip, grasping his cock and rising to settle against him. Throwing her head back, she moaned as she slid down onto him, taking him slow, inch by inch.

“You’re so big,” she said, working her hips to take his whole length.

Kirael gripped her hips and thrust up into her in one rough movement, making them both cry out.

“So good,” Vesper moaned, setting a slow rhythm, rocking up and down.

He pulled her down for a kiss, cupped one of her breasts, and ran his hands all over her body.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much.”

Vesper moved faster, her heart thrumming. Kirael moved with her, keeping things quick and light.

“I want more,” Vesper groaned. “Harder and deeper.”

She gasped as Kirael flipped her onto her back, pressing one of her knees up to her chest while keeping the other leg flat against the bed. He began to fill her in quick, hard thrusts, making her entire body tense and tighten.

“Yes, yes,” she whispered, raking her nails over his shoulders, his back. Rocking up to meet his every movement.

Kirael put a hand under her lower back, lifting her the barest inch, but it was just enough to drive Vesper wild. He stroked in and out, hitting the same wonderful spot deep inside her, making her feel as though wildfire spread through her veins.

“Oh, oh, I’m going to…” she started, then shattered with a loud cry.

Pulsing and clenching tightly, Vesper clung to Kirael.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he told her, moving his hands to her hips again, lifting her, his fingers digging into her flesh. “Vesper,
yes
.”

He tensed and came with a low groan, filling her in long, rough strokes.

Floating on the heady high, Vesper pulled him down beside her and kissed him, pressing her forehead against his sweat-dampened chest. She let out a pent-up breath and felt her eyes drift closed.

Kirael wrapped an arm around her, cradling her against his chest as he moved to lay on his side. Pulling the blankets up around them, he kissed her forehead.

Silence reigned, but it was comfortable. Vesper let it lull her, soothe her, and soon she drifted off…

Wondering what Kirael was thinking.

Wondering if she’d betrayed Mercy, taking this hour’s pleasure while her sister was held captive in Hell.

Wondering whether she’d regret tonight in the bright light of the morning.

More likely, whether Kirael would regret it…

W
aking
with Vesper in his arms was an experience Kirael would never forget. Her soft, warm body cradled in his arms, her soft vanilla scent invading his senses. It moved him, though he didn’t have the words to describe the way he felt, holding her like this.

She stirred slightly when he did, and his body immediately reacted. He was hard in an instant, and embarrassed of how easily Vesper managed to rob him of his hard-fought self-control. Even in sleep, she called to him on the deepest of levels, making him
want
.

Not just her body, either, though it was more incredible with every glance he got.

No, there was something about Vesper, something he couldn’t define. The singular quality that drew him in, the comfort he felt with her, enough to let himself get this close.

Too close
, he thought, closing his eyes for a moment.
This is wrong, and I know it. How can I possibly hope for redemption if I can’t even do right by the woman I…

He paused.
Care for
, he finished, careful even in his own thoughts.

Kirael gave himself another minute. One final minute to hold Vesper, to imagine, to get all the
what if
s out of his system.

And then, careful not to disturb her, he disentangled himself. Rising from the bed, he grabbed some clothes and went out in the hallway to dress. He didn’t slow down or look back, the lure of what he left behind was too strong.

Patrol
, he thought.
And plan for tonight. Pray for the miracle you’re going to need to get Vesper and her sister out of Hell alive. That’s all you can do right now.

Lacing up his boots, he pushed himself out into the early morning light, feeling raw and…

Lonely. For the first time since his early days in Hell, he felt completely and utterly alone.

He pushed himself hard the whole day, taking it upon himself to clean out a nest of Vampyres who’d been luring innocent humans into their grasp, leaving their drained and lifeless bodies on the streets.

Then he tracked a Drisegel demon from the French Quarter into the Gray Market, finding its nest and three zombified missing children sleeping in its lair, waiting for Heaven only knew what kind of grim fate.

As the sun began to set, he went to Mere Marie’s to check in with Ezra and Lucan. Pulling out his phone, he was surprised to find a text from Vesper.

See you at Madam White’s,
was all it said.

He blew out a breath, pacing the foyer in Mere Marie’s mansion.

“Can I give you some advice?” Mere Marie asked, appearing from seemingly nowhere.

Kirael gave her a look. “If you must.”

“You’re struggling because of the girl, right?”

He hesitated, then shrugged. “Somewhat. I am trying not to drag her into all of this.”

“You’re not an angel anymore,” she said. “You do know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” he said, frowning.

“Are you sure? Because I think you’re following some of the Old Testament rules, and you don’t have to. Angels may not have soul mates, but nearly every Kith creature does. Including whatever the heck Vesper is.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, taken aback. “She’s human.”

“She’s more than that, for sure. Don’t know what, though. Not demon, not Vampyre. Maybe got some shifter blood or something. I’ve seen her move, there’s no way she’s just human.”

Kirael crossed his arms. “That’s not really the point.”

Mere Marie put her hands on her hips. “No, it isn’t. My point is that you are moping over a girl, presumably because you think you can’t live a normal life. My point is that you aren’t a damned angel anymore, and there’s more to it than regrets and penitence. There’s freedom, too, if you’d just open yourself to it.”

Kirael stared her down for several long seconds, mulling over her words.

“Don’t ruin your chance to be happy, if that’s what Vesper might be for you. That’s all I’m saying,” Mere Marie told him, wagging a finger. “Now if you’re ready, we have some serious ass-kicking to do.”

“Right,” Kirael sighed. “I’m going to meet you all at Madam White’s in an hour, right?”

“Correct,” Mere Marie said. “Wait…”

She reached in the pocket of her robe and produced a handful of sweet-smelling sachets.

“Gris-gris?” Kirael asked.

She shrugged. “Call it for good luck, huh? Might come in handy.”

“Well… thanks,” Kirael said, accepting the packets and shoving them into the pocket of his jeans.

He parted ways with the others, heading to the Gray Market solo, his thoughts chaotic. What Mere Marie said, the part about freedom, kept ringing in his head.

He thought about Vesper, about how he’d tried to keep himself apart from her… all in the name of
being fair
to her.

But what did Vesper want? What did she deserve?

Heaven, Hell… he’d been caught up in his personal melodrama for so many millennia. It hadn’t much occurred to him to look beyond his own needs, beyond his own struggles. In truth, he hadn’t even made much of an attempt to discover Vesper’s life story, to find out what she fought against day to day.

He was drawn to her, to her strength and resilience, but… he wanted more. It was a complete surprise to him, but he wanted to peel back all of Vesper’s layers, understand her, be someone she could lean on.

And that desire was the very opposite of what he’d worked toward for so long. The distant mirage of forgiveness, the idea that if he did enough good deeds, he’d earn his way back into Heaven…

He wanted the impossible.

But was he ready to give it all up, try for something new and meaningful here on Earth? Live in the present, rather than the past?

He simply wasn’t sure.

By the time he managed to pull himself out of his thoughts, he was halfway through the Gray Market, only a few blocks from Madam White’s. The place was distasteful to him, a Kith brothel where anything and everything could be bought for the right price.

Decadent, sinful. Certainly not a place where Kirael would normally be caught dead, but… of course, this would be the place Stella chose. Stella reveled in being as bad as she could be, in dragging tempted souls down into the dirt, corrupting them so completely that there could be no going back.

He parked and set off on foot. Kirael pulled up short when he turned the corner in front of Madam White’s. Stella and Vesper stood on the wraparound front porch. Each stood with her hands on her hips, giving the other a skeptical look. Stella in her spike heels and outlandishly scandalous dress, a two-piece number in fire engine red, showcasing all kinds of skin. An oversized white leather purse hung on her shoulder, no doubt an expensive designer brand.

Vesper wore black jeans and a sheer white t-shirt, with her hair bound up in a complex-looking braid. She was incredibly beautiful, despite her black boots and her disdainful sneer. Her simplicity was part of what made her so unique and sexy.

“Ladies…” he said as he climbed the stairs.

They both turned to him, looking as though he was the reason they’d been forced to interact. He almost cringed under the force of their glares. Then Stella’s face lit up, and Kirael turned to see Lucan bounding up the stairs.

“There you are,” Stella said, all of her attention on Lucan. “I don’t like when you make me wait, Lucan.”

Lucan shot her a frown, but Kirael didn’t miss the fact that Lucan’s eyes traveled up and down Stella’s body more than once. Kirael knew that Stella and Lucan were once an item, passionately in love in fact, but at some point they’d fallen out. These days, Lucan seemed unable to tolerate the sight of her.

“Did you bring everything?” Kirael asked Vesper.

She pointed at her messenger bag, which lay on the porch near her feet. “Got it.”

“Let’s get going, then,” Mere Marie said. “The portal straight to Hell isn’t going to open itself.”

Stella rolled her eyes. “To be on the safe side, we’re going to go through a series bolt-holes first. I’ve linked them to this…”

She dug a white velvet pouch from her purse, carefully opening it and showing them a delicate glass orb.

“We just touch that, and it will take us… where?” Vesper asked.

Stella huffed. “To the portal I set up for you, obviously. Lucan and I will stay here. The rest of you will go to the portal, do what you need to do. I hope you’ve arranged for something to pierce the threshold of the portal.”

“Taken care of,” Vesper said.

“Whatever. There’s another orb on the other end for when you’re ready to leave. Hands in, everyone!” Stella said, holding the ball out to them.

Kirael glanced at Vesper, who looked nervous. He held out his hand, ignoring Stella’s derisive snort, and Vesper laced her fingers with his.

“On three? One, two, three…” he counted off. They both touched it at the same time.

Kirael felt the world lurch around him. Everything swirled and twisted, then it went completely dark. A few scenes flashed before his eyes, spots where Stella had linked the bolt-holes: a park with a rusting swing set, a smoky night club, a flash of what might have been dense green jungle foliage. In theory, the linked portals would confuse anyone who tried to follow them, possibly even mask their presence before they penetrated the portal into Hell.

Another dozen scenes flashed, too quick for Kirael to take in, and then he felt a gut-wrenching sensation as he landed on his feet in a dark, dusty, cramped space.

“Jesus,” Vesper said, waving away some of the dust they’d stirred up. “Is this a tomb?”

They were indeed surrounded by big slabs of stone, almost certainly ancient graves. Atop the closest was another orb, glowing softly on a bed of white velvet.

“At least she gave us a little light,” Kirael said with a shrug.

Ezra and Mere Marie popped into existence a second later, coughing and sputtering.

“Oh, this is just beyond the pale,” Mere Marie declared as she looked around. “Wow, can’t miss the portal, huh?”

The wall to their left wasn’t the same dark, rough stone. Instead it was a wall of pure dense blackness. Strangely, it was as difficult to stare at as the sun itself.

“That’s what we’re going into?” Vesper asked. Kirael gave her hand a squeeze, then released her.

“We’ll be all right,” he said.

Vesper set her messenger bag on the nearest stone slab, producing the cross.

Kirael held out his hand and called the vials from his angelic stash, handing them over to Mere Marie. Then he called his sword, which was a cool, heavy comfort in his hand.

“Ah, one more thing,” he said, laying his sword at his feet.

He held out both hands and summoned Vesper’s twin blades, the gold gleaming dully in the dim light.

“Ah!” Vesper said, a grin lighting up her whole face when he handed them over. “I’ve missed these.”

“Hopefully you’ll use them more wisely this time,” he said, lips twitching.

“Depends,” Vesper said, looking gleeful. “Don’t get on my nerves, maybe I won’t stab you.”

“Alright, everyone,” Mere Marie said. “Let’s focus.”

Ezra hopped up onto the slab, looking a little bored. Mere Marie ushered Kirael and Vesper over to the portal.

“I’m going to throw both vials, one for each of you,” the Voodoo Queen told them. “Vesper, you pierce the Veil with the cross, and then y’all better boogie.”

“Okay,” they said in unison.

Mere Marie held up her hands, murmuring an incantation. The portal began to shift, little veins of silver cracking through it. When Mere Marie uncorked the vial and tossed the contents onto the portal, it went solid as a silver platter, reflective as a mirror.

“Now!” she said, and Vesper shoved the cross against it.

The ornamental cross sailed right through the portal, sucking at Vesper’s hand.

“Shit!” she cried.

She stumbled forward, flinging out to grab Kirael. Kirael caught her arm just in time to feel the puuuuuuuuulllllll…

Everything stretched, and Kirael felt himself yanked through the Veil. He and Vesper tumbled onto the ground, winding up in a spot that looked for all the world like a bustling block of downtown New York.

“I… what?” Vesper said, looking around wildly. “Did the spell go wrong?”

“No,” Kirael said, standing and helping her up. “We’re in Hell, all right.”

“But this is… like, normal?” Vesper said, staring at a hot dog vendor standing near them.

“Yeah. This place is Belial’s doing,” Kirael said. “It’s for people who spent their whole lives ranting about how they’re expecting a heavenly reward. Bad people who use the cover of religion as a way to condescend and hurt others.”

Vesper’s eyes widened. “Wow.”

“Yeah. There are endless levels, but this one is particularly insidious. Imagine you die, you expect to rise and see the Heavenly Host greeting you. Then you land here… it’s just three blocks long, then it starts over. Over and over and over,” he said, shaking his head. “Some souls, it just completely destroys them. It’s unbearable to watch.”

Vesper bit her lip, looking down. “I can’t believe we’re in Hell. Sometimes my life goes by so fast, and then I stop and think, what did I do to end up here? This is a particularly strong example.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Kirael said, taking her hand again. “Come on, we should keep moving at all times. Harder to hit a moving target.”

“How do we get out?” she asked.

“Easy enough, if you’re not assigned to be here,” he said. “Pick a doorway, any doorway…”

He led her to the nearest door, a busted-looking electronics shop. When they stepped through it, they found themselves in a dark stone tunnel.

“This seems more familiar,” Vesper said. “You know where we’re going, I assume?”

“Yep. Downward, if you’d believe it,” he said. “This is the uppermost part of Hell. We’re aiming for the middle, more or less.”

“That’s where Mercy is?” she asked. “And the thing you need to get?”

“That’s the place,” he said. He’d barely thought of the Book of Names in the last few days, focusing mostly on Vesper and her needs. Foolish, considering his hopes of returning to Heaven’s good graces.

They continued through the tunnels, Kirael leading the way, navigating mostly by picking tunnels that led downward. He was careful to avoid entering any other levels except where they had no choice.