Rebel With A Cause (15 page)

He walked into the master bedroom
and found Kaitlyn holding one of his t-shirts.

“You ok?” he asked. He set the box down and went to stand behind her. She turned around and looked up at him.

“I miss you,” she said quietly.

Carter wasn’t expecting that. He ran his hands up her arms and pulled her into what he hoped was a comforting embrace. “I’m right here,” he said quietly. “I’m not leaving you.”

She pulled away. “That’s not what I meant.”

Carter sat down and pulled Kaitlyn down to, so she was sitting on his lap. “Then what did you mean?”

She buried her face
in the shirt she was holding. “I miss the way we used to be, when we first got together. You were nice.”

Carter had no reply. He knew when things had changed. He’d become bored, and he’d started pulling away.

“The first time,” Kaitlyn was saying
, “the first time you cheated, I thought it was just a slip up. I let it go. But then it happened again, and again and again.”

Carter looked away. He wanted to cry. He knew he was a screw up, but he didn’t realise how badly he’d hurt Kaitlyn. There was nothing he could say that would make it better.

“When I stopped coming to the races, and when I stopped returning your calls that was the first time you came around to see me” she continued. “
And that’s when I realised that if I wanted to keep you interested, I had to act as if
I
wasn’t interested.”

He started playing with her hair. Nothing he
said
could make it better, so
he said nothing at all.

“And I bet the only reason you’re moving into this house with me is because you feel guilty.”

That caught Carter’s attention. He stopped twirling Kaitlyn’s hair around his finger and pulled the t-shirt away. He gently but firmly grabbed her face between his hands and turned her to face him.

“Yes, I feel guilty,” he said. “But that is not why I wanted us to move into this house together.”

She tried to move away. When she couldn’t, she closed her eyes and pretended she was on the other side of the room.

“Then why?
” she whispered brokenly. “Tell me why
we’re moving in together.”

He pulled her close to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He planted a light kiss on her hair.

“I regret hurting you Katie. I’ve done it too many times, and if you ever forgive me, it would be a miracle. But believe it or not, I’ve grown up a
lot
since I met you. I no longer only think of myself.
You
are my number one priority.”

“I’m still waiting for the explanation.”

“I’m getting there.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Breaking up with you was the worst mistake I ever made.
Cheating on you was just as bad.”

“Still waiting.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head in frustration. “I’m not explaining this right. I don’t…I don’t know how to. But bear with me; I’m giving it a go.”

She didn’t interrupt and he took this as consent for him to go on.

“After we broke up, I still watched you. I made T-Man keep me up to date with what was going on with you.”

“It’s been two days. Stop the dramatics.”

He frowned. Had it really been only two days?

“I don’t care,” he said. “I love you, and letting you go was the dumbest thing. Anyway, when I saw you messing with De, I went nuts. He has a history of abuse, and I wish I’d done more to keep you from getting in that car.
I was too afraid of you hating me. Right now, I’d rather you hate me and be safe, than have you like you are now, and still hating me.”

She shrugged. “I don’t hate you. But even if you had stopped me getting in that car, I wouldn’t have stopped trying to get with De. I noticed how much it bugged you when I messed around with him before the race, so I knew he was the perfect way to get back at you.”

Carter tilted her face upwards and lovingly kissed her on the lips. “I get it,” he whispered, before kissing her again.

It was a sweet kiss, quite short,
but it was enough for them both. There was a mutual understanding in that kiss. They both knew that one
day,
they would be able to get past all this silly teenage nonsense.

But for now, things were too weird between them, and if they wanted to get back on track, they needed to develop a friendship first.

Knowing this, Kaitlyn moved away, and Carter grudgingly let her. She wiped away her silent tears and smiled up at him.

“You know, we haven’t been to the races lately. Is there one tonight? You know we need some money
to do this place up.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to the races. You’re either staying here, or going to stay with your parents.”

He noticed Kaitlyn’s face fall. “What?” he asked nervously.

“My parents broke up,” she whispered. “The same day we did.”

Carter gulped.
He felt even guiltier now. He should never have left her.
Ever.
He should have held on and never let go.

But it was too late for should haves. All either of them could do now was move forward, and forget the past.

“That sucks,”
he said finally.

She shrugged. “It’s not so bad. At first it was horrible, but mum says it’s not my fault, and she’s always been honest with me.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“Anyway, it’s all in the past
. I’m going to focus on right now, and right now, we have a house to fix up.”

He looked around. “Yeah, I guess, but we left my bed behind. Where are we going to sleep tonight?”

After a short, awkward pause, followed by
a session of hysterical laughter, they finally decided on them both sleeping on the airbed.
Carter swore he would keep his hands to himself.

Kaitlyn smiled at him.
“
Coolies.
It’s like a sleepover
then
,
but
now all we need is some DVD’s and popcorn.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

She grinned. “I vote we go up the road and rent some DVD’s.
How about it?”

He shook his head. “Not tonight. We can unpack, and then I’m going to the races. I’m gonna go win some money so we can completely remodel this place. You can start making some plans
.”

She frowned. “So you get to go out and I have to stay home? That’s so not fair.”

He looked at her sharply. “Katie, you know it’s best for you to stay away from that scene for now. De is gonna be pissed, and I don’t want him anywhere near you.”

She scowled. “I know. But I’m the hottest girl in the circuit, and if I’m not careful, some newbie,
wannabe
, chick is going to come in and steal my spot. That’s not cool.”

He sighed and pulled her in for a hug. “Katie, no one could ever replace you. And besides, you’re too cool for the racing scene anyway.”

She rolled her eyes.
“If you say so.”

“I do say so.” He let her go and stroked the hair off her face. “Hell, even I’m getting sick of it.”

“Then why do you go?”

He dipped his head and bit his lip. “I need the money. I have to remodel this house, get enough money for the betting at the races in case I lose-“

“Which you won’t,” Kaitlyn interjected.

He grinned. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. But like I was saying, I need money in case I
do
lose. I also need money to keep up with you shopping habits.”

She laughed. “I am
not
that bad. Besides, we’re not together, so you don’t need to
keep paying for my wardrobe. I can get a job. I’m not
totally
useless you know.”

Carter shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t mind. You’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted to be with, for real. It’s
my
screw ups that broke us up.”

She rolled her eyes. “This is too serious for a night like this. We’ve got the rest of the afternoon to unpack
, and that’s taxing enough as it is without your need for serious talking all the time. And since when did you start
being all serious anyway?”

He looked her in the eyes and grabbed her small hands in his. “Since the night before I dumped you.”

She pulled her hands away. Now was not the time. She was still hurting over that, and just because she came to him for help, didn’t mean she was ready for this talk. It simply meant that she had nowhere else to go.

“Katie,” he tried again, “I just want us to get back on track. I love you, and I realise now how dumb I was to ever let you go.”

She stepped back angrily and snapped at him. “God, Carter, this isn’t you! You’re a jerk who messes with me
by sleeping around, that’s you. That’s how I know you. Stop being all serious, it’s just not who you are. Not the Carter I know, anyway.”

He was saddened by her outburst. “That was a lie, Katie. It was all a cover up. I was so scared of losing you, I pretended like I didn’t care. But I always loved you, Katie, always.
Ever since we first met.”

She didn’t want to think of it, but her brain decided she
needed to remember that night.

She was such a good girl back then. She was a straight
A
student, and that day she had won an award in assembly for her excellent grades.

Her best friend Amber had an older brother who was friends with T-Man. Amber’s brother was thinking of becoming a street racer, and had been invited to a party where he could get acquainted with the scene. Amber and Kaitlyn had decided to sneak out and tag along.

Neither of them thought they would come to any harm,
but after a few drinks, both girls were plastered. It turned out neither of them coul
d hold their liquor really well back then.

Kaitlyn had let loose. After spending most of her evenings studying
, the alcohol had given her a much deserved break. She’d released her inhibitions, and started to live a little.

She hit it off with one of the guys she’d danced with earlier that night. He had monopolized her for the rest of the night, and she’d eventually gone home with him.

In the morning, he was really sweet to her, and a few days later she was back at his house, sober. They had stayed up talking, and that’s when she realised she’d fallen for him, hard. It hadn’t taken long.

Looking back, Kaitlyn surmised that it was his
stereotypical bad boy charm that attracted her. After being so restrained for most of her childhood, Carter had seemed like a break from the norm.

She didn’t know then that he would lead her into a world full of mistrust and danger.

Looking at Carter, she realised how clichéd their life was. The good girl fell for the bad boy, only to be hurt by him.

But unlike the cliché, she didn’t want to change Carter. If he wasn’t a bad boy when she met him, she wouldn’t have been attracted to him. She loved him for who he was, not who he could or should be.

“Just, stop. Stop trying to convince me, Carter. I know you loved me, but you treated me like trash these past few months. Don’t mess with me anymore.”

He looked crushed. “How did we get here, Katie? I know I messed up here and there, but I never wanted us to be like this.”

Kaitlyn bit her lip in a desperate attempt to stop the tears. She had cried enough for Carter, and since he dumped her, she’d turned from a ‘get revenge’ kind of girl to a lovesick teenager. It wasn’t who she was, and not who she wanted to be.

But the heart didn’t seem to care when you were in love. Now, all she wanted was to be back in Carter’s arms.

“I should go find another guy, just to get back at you,” she said. “You were a jerk, and I lost count of how many girls you cheated on me with.”

“I wish I hadn’t done that, Katie.” He was going to plead with her again. She held up a hand to stop him.

“Shut it, Carter. I’m here because I have nowhere else to go, because thanks to you, I fucked up my life. I love you, but I’m done.”

She walked out, slamming the door behind her. She needed to get her life back on track.

She wandered down the road to the park, glad to find it deserted. She sat down on a swing and began to plan her return to straight
A
student.

She didn’t like who she was now.

She pretended to be asleep when he finally came home. Carter had gone out to the races as planned, and she’d stayed at home, unpacking. She was furious with Carter for telling her what to do, but also slightly awed. He had never really seemed to care about her before.