Rebirth - The Beautiful Fallen (43 page)

             
For a long moment, the room was quiet.  But Will seemed to be thinking it all over.  “I see.” He finally said.  “So you’re really blaming yourself for all of it?”

             
I gasped slightly as he pulled me down and hugged me.  “Will?” I whispered.

             
“You said it yourself once.  None of us asked to be born.  And none of us asked for what we’ve gotten in this life.  I’ve lived my whole life with my back to the wall, just like Zane and Chris.  And maybe you will too.  Maybe Fallen Children aren’t meant to ever live peacefully.  But that’s no one’s fault in the end.  We are what we are.  So don’t blame yourself.  None of us blame you.  The Beautiful Fallen will always live on, no matter what.” Will whispered.

             
His words were comforting, and I found myself hugging him back.  At least then, in that embrace, I felt safe once again.  But I knew in my heart that all of this was only really the beginning for me too.  Even after everything that had happened so far, I knew that my journey was far from over.  After all, the Shadow Wings were still considered the forbidden children.

             
And the hunt was only just beginning.

Epilogue - Six Months Later

             
It's funny how you can find yourself settling into things as time goes on.  I found myself thinking that as I stood by the window and watched the snow fall.  The city stretched out before me was becoming a blanket of white very quickly now.  And I have to admit, it was a very beautiful sight.

             
It had now been six months since we'd left Baton Rouge and come up to Manhattan.  In that time, I had found myself working hard on adjusting to my new life.  I couldn't say it was that easy of a thing, especially after all of the things that had happened.  But somehow, I'd managed to allow myself to move on some.  Maybe it was me finding the strength inside of me.  Maybe it was just me saying I just had to go on.  Either way, I found myself making it there.  And making a new life.

             
By then, I'd come to live with Zane in a high rise luxury apartment overlooking Manhattan and it's skyscrapers.  The apartment itself was very spacious and beautiful.  From the very moment I'd walked in there, I'd absolutely loved it.  This was the kind of home I'd always dreamed about having before.  And, as hard as it was for me to admit it to myself, Zane was the kind of guy I'd always dreamed of living with.  He was sweet and kind to me, never imposing at all.

             
I couldn't help but shake my head slightly as I thought about that.  And as I thought of how things had gone on since that horrible night back in June.

             
Even at that time, we still didn't know whether Chris had lived or died.  Although Saffron and Will seemed convinced that Chris was alive, no one had seen any sign to confirm it.  Jade himself had disappeared when he'd taken him, and there had been no contact whatsoever that was able to be made with him.  And while I still hoped and prayed that Chris had lived and would return to me, I felt it all becoming weaker and weaker.  Perhaps it was all of the trauma, but I found myself wanting to move on a little bit from all of the things that had happened down in Baton Rouge.  And with Will and Zane, I found that I was finally starting to do so.  They offered me friendship and protection. 

             
And Zane offered me just a little bit more.

             
A part of me wondered if I'd made the right choice the month before.  But at the same time, I found that it was silly to question it so much too.  After all, with the way things were looking now, I was never getting Chris back.  And besides, a part of me had begun to form a real attachment to Zane Hedel in the time that we'd spent together.  I had thought perhaps I'd be able to form it more with Will, but he'd been disappearing a lot on me since we'd come to Manhattan.  Coupled with that, I found myself turning to Zane more and more for companionship.  And eventually, I found that I was seeing him as just a little bit more than that.

             
The feeling of someone standing behind me made me look away from the falling snow.  Saffron stood beside me in the semi darkness, looking out as well.  “Hey.” I said quietly.  It almost felt wrong to disturb the comfortable silence that had fallen over the darkened room.  I didn’t feel worried at all with him being there anyways.  After all, Saffron had made it his habit in the last six months to drop by whenever he felt like it.

             
“Good evening.  It looks like I was finally able to catch you alone.  It’s been rather difficult lately.” Saffron commented.

             
“You’re complaining now?  I thought you said that you liked Zane being around me.” I said.

             
“I do.  But there are things that I don’t need him to hear.  After all, he is his son.  And I don’t feel like any information being relayed back at this time.” Saffron said.

             
I just watched him for a moment as he spoke.  In the dim light, his hair and clothing looked darker than ever, although his pale complexion almost glowed.  It was odd really for me to take him in now.  Even though I knew what he was, and had even seen him show his true colors, Saffron could still appear as a human being.  Obviously, the Fallens were great deceivers.

             
“So, what’s going on?  It must be important if you wanted to talk to me in private like this.” I finally said.

             
Saffron nodded, turning to face me.  “Very much so.  It concerns those Seraphim leaders.” He agreed.

             
“So Kinsley’s actually getting ready to do something now?” I asked.  It was strange for me to think about.  I hadn’t heard from Kinsley Martell since that initial talk.  And I’d actually begun to wonder if maybe he’d just been blowing a bunch of white smoke or something.

             
“Yes.  In fact, he’s been working pretty hard on this himself in the last six months.  According to my sources, he’s already approached the higher counsel and put in requests to review the hunts of the past, as well as the histories of the remaining Fallen Children on the mortal plane.  For now, it seems that this has stopped Judiel dead in his tracks.  However, it’s also not stopping him from taking his own offensive.  He’s working just as hard to let the hunt resume.” Saffron explained.

             
Somehow, I hadn’t doubted that one.  After all, from what I’d gotten to see, Judiel absolutely despised us.  But his words about Kinsley had definitely gotten my attention.  “So he was serious about all of this.  They might not hunt us anymore.” I said.

             
“Well darling, I wouldn’t count too much on it right now.  After all, Kinsley himself will have a long road ahead of him with this, especially if those other two decide that they don’t agree with him.  For now, it’s better for you to remain as you are, and guard yourself against what may come.  Orders or not, I don’t look for Judiel to just sit by and let this all be.” Saffron said.

             
I nodded in agreement.  He was probably right about that.  After all I’d seen and heard about this angel, I didn’t look for him to give up either.  “So what now?  Do I really just continue staying here with Zane and hiding?” I asked him.

             
At that, Saffron smiled.  “Actually, I’m thinking that we'll be making our own moves soon enough.  But for the time being, it’s better for you to just remain here with Zane.  After all, I don’t believe you’ll be seeing much of Wilhelm either for a while.” He said.

             
“What do you mean?  Did something happen to Will?” I asked, feeling my heart beat a little bit harder.

             
“It’s nothing for you to worry about.  It’s just simply because of who he is.  Lucifer wasn’t too keen on me trying to keep him under thumb, so he’s ordered him away for a while on other matters.  But I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  We still have Zane Hedel, and I shouldn’t have any issues keeping him with us for now.  Not to mention that you’ll keep him reeled in perfectly.” Saffron replied.

             
I couldn’t help but sigh and shake my head.  “So you’re really making me give up on Chris after all.” I said.

             
“I said no such thing.  But it never hurts to keep others close.  For now, I want you to remain here until you hear otherwise.  And do not mention any of this to Zane.  What he doesn’t know may benefit us.” Saffron ordered.

             
“Okay then.” I agreed.  And with that, I watched as the shadows wrapped around him and he disappeared. 

             
For a few long moments, I stood there and stared at where Saffron had once been, considering his words.  It really didn’t surprise me that he wouldn’t want Zane to know any of what he’d told me.  By then, I was starting to understand that Zane himself really didn’t believe that we could be saved.  He admitted to me that part of it was from his own traumatic upbringing and subsequent life so far.  Zane had seen so much death and destruction that it was becoming difficult for him to see any light within his life.  Sometimes, it made me worry about him.  Beneath that friendly smile and those pretty green eyes, there was a man who was suffering inside.  I was sure of it.  I just wished I knew how to help him better.

             
Pulling myself away from the window, I turned and realized that I heard the front door opening.  It looked like Zane had finally gotten home.  I was a little more than grateful for that one.  I had been starting to get worried with the way the snow was coming now.  But walking to the foyer, I was surprised to find him looking down as he held his scarf.  “Is something wrong?” I asked, feeling a little uneasy now.  It wasn’t like him to look so pensive coming home.

             
Zane let out a long breath, looking back over at me.  And his words would be the start of everything once again for all of us.

             
“Our redemption has finally begun.”