Reckless Secrets (10 page)

Relief washed over his face and he gave me a small smile. "When Dad finds out, Thanksgiving is going to be real fun. Sure you still want to come?"

"Absolutely. I love fireworks."

He laughed softly.

And then, I did a bad thing and struck while he was vulnerable, making it look like I was just changing the subject to something innocent for his sake, while I was really fishing for the truth. "How did your studies go last night?"

He looked relieved and happily surprised by the new topic. But I wondered if I sounded too suspicious.

"Great. Got a lot done." Suddenly he looked sheepish. "But I have a confession to make—I didn't nap. I realized I had too much work to do. So I made a coffee run to The College Grind. I ran into Amber and chatted with her for a few. She was on her way out of town and needed a caffeine buzz, too."

It was like he had read my mind. I felt so relieved. How could I have doubted him?
 

"Why are you smiling?" he asked.

"Am I?" I hadn't meant to be so obvious. But now I had to explain myself. I grabbed his phone from where it rested on the table next to his tray. "So it
was
you."

"What was me?"

"Have you seen missed connections lately? You have a secret admirer." I brought it up for him and watched him read it.

He frowned as he read it, then turned a serious look on me. "You thought I ran out on you to see Amber?"

I shrugged.

"El, you have nothing to worry about. You're the only girl for me."

"That's not what the blonde thinks."

He laughed. "Well, she's dead wrong. But thanks for letting me know. Now every blonde I see, I'll think they're lusting after me."

I shook my head. "You're awful."

He leaned across the table and kissed me. "Always talk to me," he said. "If you ever see anything like this again that makes you doubt me, just ask. We have to be able to talk to each other. No more secrets."

I swallowed hard and nodded. No more secrets.
Right
.

"Hey, did you see there's an Up All Night event on Friday? The theme is magic—free food, a hypnotist, magic acts. You want to go?"

We had met at the first Up All Night event of the fall semester. "Are you asking me out on an official date that doesn't involve dads or being your fake girlfriend?"

He grinned. "Yeah. This will be kind of like our anniversary."
 

"We haven't been together all this time."

"But I wanted you the whole time."

He could be just so darn adorable. He made my heart melt.

His eyes danced. He knew he had me. "Some people have a song. This is our thing. We have an event. Pick you about at eight thirty?"

"Yeah," I said.

Chapter Six

Nic caught me in the hall when I returned from work. "See! I told you there was a logical explanation." Nic was insufferable about being right about Logan. "All you had to do was talk to him." Her eyes sparkled. "Must be something in the air—I got asked to Up All Night today, too."

"No? Are you going?"

"Yeah."

The way she said "yeah," I knew the guy was someone special. "This isn't the guy from your English class is it?"

"Kurt. Yeah." Her face lit up. Kurt was some kind of poet or artist or something. She'd been trying to get his attention all semester.

"All right—dish!"

She pulled me into her room to tell me the details. As she talked, I found myself wishing my life were as uncomplicated as Nic's. Wouldn't it be nice to just like a guy with no secrets involved?

Tuesday morning was cold and frosty. There were rumors that it was supposed to snow later. I got up, showered, and dressed with care, making sure I looked extra cute to meet Jason. He saw me in the office all the time. But when I was working, I was generally dressed with the dual purpose of looking professional and impressing Logan as much as possible. This was different. There was something about having an official coffee date with my dad that made me want to impress
him
. I didn't want to disappoint him. Or have him reject me. I was so insecure about all of it. So I applied my makeup carefully, using all the tricks Mom had taught me, and dressed accordingly—dark-wash jeans with rhinestones on the butt, cute pink sweater, knee-high boots. Frankly, I was as nervous as I was excited.

I bundled up in my cute wool coat and sweet hot-pink hat and left early so I could arrive early and be waiting for him. Eager-looking, maybe. But that was okay. By the time I left, it was already snowing and sticking to the grass and trees.

When I walked into The College Grind, I was still early and too late. Jason waved to me from a table in the corner. "Ellie! Fancy meeting you here." There was a twinkle in his eyes at our inside joke, and he looked only the slightest bit nervous, not upset.

Like father, like daughter. We shared the early gene and were both in the same frame of mind. I was touched he was trying to put me at ease and relieved—after having a couple of days to come to terms with it, he looked like he was dealing with it.
 

"Hey, boss." I walked over to his table, hopeful we could get off to a good start now. "What are you doing here? Need your morning jolt to make it through the day?"

"Hey, Ellie! Have a seat and let me buy my favorite dispatcher a drink," he said.

I laughed as I took my coat off and hung over the back of the chair. "Careful! Someone might get the wrong idea." I sat and stuffed my gloves in my coat pocket.

"What am I supposed to say?" He looked amused.

"How about: 'Would you like a hot beverage, my treat'? But the 'favorite dispatcher' was a nice touch, even if there are only like five of us to choose from. Still an honor."

He laughed. "Ah, I see. Much better. Much less suggestive." He paused to study me.
 

It was weird for both of us, this new shift in our relationship going from boss and stranger to father and daughter.

"So, would you like a hot beverage?" he said. "On the boss for being a stellar worker."

I nodded. "The perks of doing a good job." I laughed at my pun. "Grande mocha with whip."

"You got it." He jumped up and ordered while I saved our table.
 

My dad was buying me a coffee. It was almost impossible for me to really comprehend, surreal.

He returned to wait for the barista to call out our order. "How was your Dad's Weekend?" he asked.

I couldn't tell whether his question was barbed or not. I didn't know him well enough to recognize the subtleties of his personality.

I was certain Jason had heard about Logan punching Schwartz. He'd seen Logan yesterday at work and I was certain Logan would have told him how he got his black eye. Maybe Logan had even called him after it happened. They were that close. But had Logan told him exactly
why
he'd gotten into the fight? Or that I'd been with him when he'd punched Schwartz? Or that I'd tried to stop him? I knew Logan and Jason talked, but I didn't know how much they talked about Logan's love life and relationship with me, if at all. And suddenly it struck me—I hoped they didn't talk about it at all. It was bad enough thinking Logan might confide personal things to my boss, but to my dad? Can you imagine? I was horrified. I made a note to ask Logan not to talk about me to Jason.

I stared at Jason, trying to hide my thoughts. "It was good," I said, noncommittally. "I had dinner with Logan and his dad Friday night. I went to the game with them on Saturday."

I couldn't read the look in Jason's eyes, but if I had to guess, I would have said it wasn't exactly pleased.
He knows everything
, I thought.

Before either of us could react, the barista called our order. Jason jumped up to get it before I could.
 

When he returned to the table and set my drink in front of me, his expression was masked. "Logan's dad is a hard man, a real piece of work."

Since we were in public, it was understood between us that we couldn't say anything confidential that would give me away as his daughter. We had to be subtle and imply things.

"Yeah," I said. "I know."

"What did you think of him?" Jason took a sip of coffee while keeping his gaze level on me over his cup. He had piercing eyes, beautiful eyes. But he was dancing around the main issue.

For just a sec I had the unsettling thought of my mom looking into those eyes and falling in love with them and him. That was crazy—Jason and Mom had a one-night stand that resulted in me. Nothing more, as far as I knew. Someday, when we knew each other better and were on firmer ground, someday when we were alone, I was going to ask him about his relationship with Mom and demand answers. I wanted to know my story. But now was not the time. Now I had to tread cautiously, hoping to build a real relationship with him. Right now that long-ago past wasn't as important as building a future.

"He's just like you say—a hard man and an ass."
 

"I don't remember calling him an ass."

I smiled at him. "But you wanted to."

He smiled back. It was obvious he didn't like or respect Harlan. We were in complete agreement. Jason took another sip of coffee. His expression turned serious. "How serious are you and Logan?"

Again, I wondered how much Logan had confided in Jason since we met—had he been telling Jason all along how into me he was? How impossible it was for us to be together while Dr. Rogers was my chem prof?

I masked my own expression, trying to keep my true feelings from showing, and went on the offensive rather than answering. I leaned close and whispered so no one else could hear: "Fatherly interest?"

He didn't smile. "Maybe. Maybe it's just my way of getting to know you."

I shrugged. "What has Logan told you?"

"Don't be insecure, Ellie. Don't fish for information out of me or try to throw me off. Whatever Logan has told me is confidential. I can't divulge it. I'm certainly not repeating it to you. You're hedging."

"Is this conversation confidential, too?" I held Jason's gaze.

"Absolutely."

I nodded. "Good to know."

"So?"

I shrugged again. "Not that it's any of your business, but I like him
a lot
. You know that." It was a non-answer and we both knew it.

Jason sighed. "He has a temper, Ellie. Be careful."

I shook my head. I could not believe this. "You mean because he punched out Schwartz? That's what you're talking about, isn't it?" I grabbed my napkin and balled it in my fist as I leaned toward Jason. "He was defending
me
. Did he tell you what Schwartz said about my ex-boyfriend sleeping with Mom?"

Jason nodded and set his jaw. "Yes." He looked pained, like he was sorry again for sticking me with a mom like Melissa. And like he couldn't believe the person Mom was or had become since he'd known her. "I'm sorry Melissa hurt you like that. Schwartz was a jerk for throwing it at you. If I'd been there…"
 

He sighed again. "I admire Logan for defending you. I'm grateful for it. It's what a man should do. But violence is not the answer. Logan should have maintained control and handled it differently. Asked Schwartz to leave. Gotten security. Not taken the first swing in a blind rage."

Jason was definitely different than the rest of Mom's men. All of them would have reacted exactly like Logan—swung first and asked questions later. I suppressed a shudder.
Logan isn't like them
, I told myself.

"You weren't there," I said, defending Logan.

Jason didn't back down. "I didn't have to be." He paused. "How much do you know about Logan?"

"Everything." I blurted it out like I was defending him, and accidentally giving away how serious I was about him.

"Everything?" Jason raised one eyebrow.

"I know about his career-ending baseball injury, and what happened with Dr. Rogers. And how he was out of control for a while and you saved him."

Jason nodded almost imperceptibly. "I don't know that I
saved
him."