Reckless Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 4) (37 page)

“You’re lying,” I insisted, searching his eyes for the truth. He may not have planned on this but over the last few months he gave me his best. His greatest attempt to make this work and I saw truth in his actions. He didn’t know how to be a dad or the main man in someone’s life but he wanted to learn.

The man in front of me now. He was the lie.

Wasn’t he?

“Ah, shit, don’t cry, Lauren. You know I’m right,” he exclaimed, as he ran his fingers roughly though his hair. “You know it’s the truth.”

I pinned him with a gaze and wiped away my tears.

I won’t cry.

I won’t give you any more of my tears.

“You people pride yourselves on being these badass men. You.” I pointed an accusing finger at him. “You call yourself a Satan’s Knight, a goddamn soldier of the devil, but all you are is a fucking coward with no backbone. You preach about loyalty and honor for your club but you don’t know the first thing about what either of those two things mean. Loyalty is about support, a strong devotion to something or someone. It’s a pity your loyalty doesn’t rest with your child.”

“Lauren,” he interrupted.

“No, I’m not done. Honor? Honor is having great respect for someone and that honor should be with me. I am the one giving you a son or a daughter,” I tipped my head back to the reaper on the wall. “He won’t give you a family. I know you think he already has, that these men are your brothers, and that’s all that matters but your brotherhood won’t keep you warm at night. Your brotherhood won’t give you the joy you’ll be missing out on by throwing your child away. So, fuck you, Riggs. Fuck your club and seriously fuck your patch.”

“Shut up,” he growled. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Lauren. You have no idea how fucking loyal and honorable I am. And that’s okay, you don’t need to. You just need to stay away from me,” he hollered.

I took a step closer to him, the anger that consumed me faded and was replaced with determination.

I may have fallen, but I needed to get back up.

I need to fight.

A part of me wonders if he realizes how much of a fighter I truly am. Doesn’t he understand I would’ve fought for him too? But he lost that right. I won’t fight for him but I’ll fight against him. I’ll fight for Pea because someone had to.

“I can’t even say I’m sorry I ever met you because without you there is no Pea. I will always have Pea. So, thank you for that. Thank you for giving me something you’ll never enjoy. You’re the one who loses. You’re the one who has to live every day knowing you walked away from something great, something bigger and better and more rewarding than some pathetic patch.”

I walked to the bar, grabbed the empty bottle of liquor and turned on my heel as I wailed it across the room and it crashed against the reaper on the wall.

“Hope it was worth it,” I called over my shoulder, as I stalked out of the club.

I walked away from Riggs that night, chin up, head high but my heart shattered like all the pieces of glass that decorated the floor of the Dog Pound.

I stared at the reaper on the wall, the glass of the bottle crunching under my boots as I made my way to the wall. I ran my fingers over the paint that declared this the home of Satan’s Knights and then I reared my fist back and screamed as it connected with the wall.

I heard the door open behind me but I was too engrossed in demolishing the reaper, an image of something I thought I was supposed to live for. So why did it feel like the reason I was living just walked out the door and straight out of my life?

I felt strong hands wrap around my arms and pull me back, pulling me away from wreaking havoc on the devil that stole everything from me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Blackie hollered, as he slammed my back against the wall.

“Let me go,” I seethed.

“Like you let her go?” Bones added, walking up behind Blackie. “What is wrong with you, man?”

I pushed Blackie’s hands off me causing him to stumble backward and scowled at Bones.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Bones taunted. “You just threw away the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you and for what? Because you’re a pussy!”

I charged at him, rearing back my fist and letting it connect with the side of his jaw.

He gripped my cut, and slammed me back against the wall, his fist pounding against my ribs.

“Truth hurts, brother,” he hissed, as I pushed him off me and punched him again, aiming for his nose this time.

“Thought you’d be happy, me out of the way you’re free to claim her for yourself. That’s what you want isn’t it? Been dying to stick your dick in my girl since the moment you laid eyes on her,” I roared, as I threw him onto the pool table.

He kicked off the table, charging his head into my stomach and pummeled me to the floor.

“Someone will claim her, douche bag,” he clipped. “Girls like that will bounce back, move on and fall in love. Some other man will gladly grab what you threw away, only he’ll hang on tight, and that kid of yours? He’ll call someone else daddy,” he barked.

I lifted my head from the floor and drilled him with a cold stare.

“Looks like you’re applying for the job,” I spoke through clenched teeth.

“I would in a fucking heartbeat but you’re my brother, and that shit means something to me,” he said, releasing his grip on me. “Wake up, man. Whatever it is you think you’re doing, I’m telling you you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t do this, don’t let them go.”

“I’m no good for them,” I growled, trying to sit up.

“Then make yourself better,” he demanded, holding out his hand toward me.

I took his hand and pulled him down beside me, wedging my forearm against his throat as I leaned over him.

“Mind your fucking business, Bones. And do yourself a fucking favor and don’t bring this shit up again, because so help me God, next time you do I’ll cut you,
brother
,” I promised, as I dropped him onto the ground and stepped over his body.

I know why Blackie tries to numb himself from the hell he lives.

The pain is unbearable.

The dull ache in my chest that had been haunting me, turned into a sharp spear, twisting and turning a hundred times over.

I lost my Kitten.

I’ll never know Pea.

And I just pissed on some twenty odd years of friendship with Bones.

I was on a roll.

I had walked away from a lot of people in my life, gave up my birth right, but none of it hurt the way walking away from Lauren and our baby did.

I hadn’t lied when I said I never wanted to be someone’s man, or someone’s father. Now that I held those two titles, even for a short while, was everything to me.

Everything I no longer had.

But losing them, kissing goodbye my rights to my child and Lauren, would be worth it because they’d be safe.

Safe from me.

Safe from my enemies.

Safe from the reaper.

Jack slammed the gavel repeatedly against the wooden table trying to reign us in but we were congratulating the nomad’s that had just patched into our charter. After the Red Dragons attacked Pop’s shooting range, Jack sent Pipe and Wolf back into the field, ordering them not to come back to the Dog Pound without nomads worthy to wear the Brooklyn patch on their cut. Deuce, Stryker, Linc and Cobra were officially voted to sit at our table, and not a moment too soon because aside from the vote on whether they should wear our patch or not, Jack called Church to discuss how he planned to retaliate against the Chinese.

“For the love of God, would you bitches shut the fuck up so we can discuss business,” Jack grunted, throwing the gavel across the table and rubbing his temples.

That got our attention, and we fell silent as we gave our pissed off president our undivided attention.

“I swear to God, I question if you jerk offs even have dicks,” he muttered.

Wolf grabbed his crotch in defense.

“Want me to whip out the old anaconda?”

“You do that and I’ll shoot it off,” Jack hissed, before glancing at our new members. “Pipe and this clown…” he pointed his thumb toward Wolf as he spoke “…have filled you guys in on the war we have going on with the Red Dragons, so no need for me to rehash the reason behind what we’re about to do.”

He reached into his cut for his pack of Marlboros and picked one out with his teeth as Blackie slid a lighter across the table.

“Been working on a way to retaliate against them for the guns they stole and the bullets they pumped into Pops place. Rienzi, who’s a longshoreman, one of Vic’s guys, came through with a tip. Seems like our friend Wu is receiving a shipment tonight from Beijing,” he clarified, flicking his ashes into the ashtray. “Saddle up, boys because we’re going to intercept their shipment.”

“Do we know what it is?” I asked, as I took the toothpick I was chewing on out of my mouth.

“It don’t matter what the cargo is, I don’t want their shit. I want to hit Wu were it really hurts—his wallet. We’ll unload the container and dump that shit right into the river, sending a message back to our friends. They fucked with us, now it’s our turn to fuck them ten times harder,” he growled.

“Ay,” Pipe agreed.

“It’s about time those Lo Mein eating motherfuckers get a dose of my cock,” Wolf added.

We all turned our eyes to Wolf, and he shrugged his shoulders.

“What?” He asked innocently. “You said fuck them hard, only trying to do my part for the cause,” he claimed.

“You’re a sick fuck,” Bones added.

“Welcome to the club, boys,” Jack said sarcastically, earning a few laughs from our new additions.

“Nothing we haven’t seen before, Bulldog,” Stryker replied, his lips curving slightly.

“There is just one more thing I want to discuss before we get our asses in gear.” His eyes drifted toward me then to Bones who sat across from me. “For the last month you two have been acting like a bunch of bitches in a cat fight,” he ranted. “Time for this lover’s quarrel, or whatever the fuck it is between you two, be put to rest.”

I averted my eyes to Bones who met my blank stare with one of his own. It was true, since Kitten stormed into the clubhouse, handing me my ass and walking out of my life, Bones and I haven’t been the same. I know him well enough and long enough to realize he gave me a pass. No one gets away with putting their hands on Bones. They don’t live to tell about it, but here I was breathing.

I also know that he’d never disrespect me and go after Lauren. His interference came from a good place, a place where he knew what I was sacrificing and had remorse for my decision. I wasn’t ready to hear him say what I felt in my heart. I didn’t want to face facts that walking away from Lauren and the baby was a shit thing to do and Bones wasn’t about to let me forget it.

“We’re all brothers here but you two are in a class of your own, one of you gets wounded the other one bleeds, so bury that shit and bury it deep,” Jack emphasized.

“Yeah girls, why don’t you kiss and make up,” Wolf pleaded.

Bones uncrossed his arms, keeping his eyes steady on me as he reached across the table and offered me his hand. I took a deep breath, apologizing to my best friend with my eyes instead of my words as I took his hand and shook on it solidifying our brotherhood.

“Can I get an Amen?” Pipe quipped.

“Amen,” preached Wolf.

“Amen,” chanted Stryker.

“Praise be to God,” Linc added.

“Hallelujah,” Blackie mused.

“All right, all right, go in peace my brothers,” Jack said, bowing his head and making the sign of the cross.

God was going to strike us all dead, luckily we weren’t relying on him to welcome us at the pearly gates. We were destined for the flames and the only one waiting for us in the end would be Satan.