Reckless Together: A Contemporary New Adult College Romance (The Reckless Series) (16 page)

Chapter Twelve

Logan was late. He knew how much I hated late. But he showed up with an apologetic smile and a bouquet of flowers.
 

"Bought specially for you from the grocery store." He handed them to me and brushed my lips with a kiss. "You look so hot, El."
 

"And possibly sunburnt." The way his gaze traveled over me gave me shivers of pleasure and was worth the extra time it had taken me to get ready. I took the flowers he held out to me. "What's the occasion? I hope you aren't trying to bribe me into forgiving you for being late."

Logan being late was kind of a joke between us. He'd been late the first time we'd met for dinner and I'd almost left without waiting for him.

He looked charmingly guilty, like a bad boy who was caught. "I'd never do something as obvious as that." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He tasted deliciously just like himself and smelled like the cologne he always wore and the soap he scrubbed with.
 

But I recognized diversionary tactics when I saw them. I let myself get lost in his kiss, but he wasn't off the hook. When we finally pulled apart, I smiled into his eyes. "What are you
not
telling me?"

"There are a ton of great parties that have already started right in my building. Collin and Zave headed out before I left and swore to report back on the best of them. I'm waiting for their texts even now."

"Party scout, excellent," I said. "Creative. Thoughtful. Smart, sending out the experts. And?"

"There has to be an 'and'?" He stroked my bare arm.
 

"The 'and' is in your voice."

He sighed, putting on an exaggerated expression of being defeated. "I'm on call for CAPSA as a security escort tonight. No drinking for me." He hesitated, looking so guilty.

I stared at him like I could not believe what he was saying. "On call, meaning at a moment's notice you'll ditch me to run across campus and walk another girl home? Leaving me to what? Party on alone and call for my own security escort?" I was so surprised that I didn't have time to mask my surprise or unhappiness.
 

"When you put it like that." He looked totally sheepish, but he sounded defensive. "Look, I won't let you walk home alone, okay?" It was clear he wasn't going to back down.

"I thought that was a weeknight thing?"

He shook his head. "I've had the Saturday night shift since we broke up before Christmas." His eyes pleaded with me to understand. "It was the only way to keep myself sane. I needed something to do on Saturday nights so I wouldn't think about you and go crazy with loneliness. I was dealing with all the fallout from
Her
arrest. I couldn't talk to Jason. There was no way I was going back on my girl binge, because I only wanted you." His voice broke with emotion.

My heart cracked, too. What had we done to each other? I stared at him blankly, trying to listen with an open mind.

"I needed something to keep me from falling back into an alcoholic haze. Helping others was healing. Protecting girls in a platonic, friendly way kind of made up for sleeping with so many so callously before."
 

He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over the back of it.

"The CAPSA office was shorthanded." He squeezed my fingers. "Not many guys volunteer for the weekend shifts. I didn't have anything else to do. So I took Saturdays because I could be of the most help then." He took a deep breath. "I only took Fridays when you weren't playing video games with Falcon26."
 

"When you put it like that," I said. He was breaking my heart. How could I be upset with him for being such a great guy? And for holding things together and helping others rather than falling into a tailspin again? And yet I felt betrayed.

I pulled away from him, shocked by how little I knew about our time apart. "Why didn't you tell me before? Why did you plan this date and let me pick the activity when you knew you were already busy?"

He stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and looked so contrite my heart clenched. "I'm sorry, El. I told the office on Monday that I couldn't do the weekends anymore. I thought I was in the clear. But one of the guys called in sick tonight and they couldn't find anyone else to take his place. So they called me less than half an hour ago, desperate."

"And you took it even though we had plans?" I couldn't keep the accusation out of my voice. Unreasonable jealousy is a callous bitch.

"They were in a bind, El. I couldn't live with myself if some girl called for an escort and ended up walking home alone and getting attacked."

When he put it that way, I felt like the world's most selfish girlfriend. "You aren't responsible for saving the world."

"Maybe not. But it's just one evening." He wasn't going to budge.

One evening out of the dwindling few we had left. In just a few months, he was graduating. I pushed the thought away.

He held his hand out to me. "We're wasting valuable party time. No one will be calling for a few hours."

I took his hand, pushing away my disappointment. I couldn't tell him I wasn't being
entirely
selfish. That I had a nefarious plan to wear down his defenses, with the help of a few drinks, and rid him of that nightmare. That his security-escort duties just ruined it. Then again, maybe I was being ridiculous about that anyway. Maybe there was no cure. Or maybe doing good was it. "The perils of dating Batman."

"You mean Bruce Wayne." He pulled me close.

"Maybe I mean both."

He pulled his phone from his pocket. "Zave says the best party is at the clubhouse." Logan shrugged.

"What?"

"Usually the clubhouse parties are lame. Either all the other parties are lamer or this is a freaky anomaly."

"What are you saying?"

"Don't set your expectations too high." He unlocked the car for me.

We drove with the windows down through Greek Row, which smelled like cheap beer owned the block and pounded with loud music and drunken laughter. Down the hill off campus and back up the hill on the other side to Logan's apartment complex. He parked in his usual spot. He waited for me behind the car and took my hand, leading me to the party.

Just like Greek Row, the area thrummed with music. The air held an overtone of freshly plowed fields that blended with the scent of alcohol, reminding me of the first time I'd come to a party at Logan's place. And how he'd taken me to the edge of the fields behind the complex to look at the stars. That was where I would have rather been now, gazing at the stars with Logan's arms around me. Just the two of us alone with the Milky Way and the universe beyond. Without the incentive to party to get Logan to loosen up, I wanted him all to myself.
 

The clubhouse was packed. The party spilled out to the surrounding area. Just as I was about to ask Logan if we could bag the party, Collin spotted us in the crowd and waved us over. He was hanging with Zave and group of friends, including a gorgeous blonde. I should have known Kelsie would be there. She looked stunning, like always. And confident. Even in the dim light I could see her eyes light up when she saw Logan. And the subtle frown she was fighting at the sight of me.

She'd been friendly to me at Thanksgiving at Logan's. I hadn't seen her since. She was Logan's friend, not really mine. But now she looked past me to Logan with barely concealed longing in her eyes. They'd been friends forever. More than friends for a while. I knew they'd been hanging out while Logan and I had been apart. I realized our split had given Kelsie hope. No matter what she said, she wasn't over Logan. She could have had just about any guy she wanted, but she wanted mine. I shivered.
 

She gave Logan a huge, lingering hug and yelled over the music. "What are you doing here? You're on call."

My heart stopped. Kelsie knew? He'd told her and not me.

Zave interrupted, handing me a red plastic cup of freshly tapped beer. "Drink up, Ellie. It's the only way to tolerate this party."
 

I gave Zave a wobbly smile. He usually wasn't perceptive or sympathetic. Then I noticed the way he was looking at Kelsie and I understood. We were comrades in the battle of love, each fighting a shadow demon of our own. I wondered how I'd missed Zave's feeling for Kelsie before. Maybe they were new? Or maybe he'd masked them around Logan. Did Logan even realize?

Logan laughed. "Yeah, Kels, thanks for twisting my arm."

Kelsie laughed in reply. "What are friends for? Anyway, you know how much we need you and the girls trust you." She swung her gaze to me as if her sense of politeness wouldn't let her ignore me forever. "Ellie, it's been forever!" She gave me an air hug that held all the warmth of a cold shower.

It hit me full force—she was the traitor, the one Logan couldn't refuse when she called and asked for his help. I was sure it was intentional on her part. I had to force myself to answer and make small talk. But the whole time, my blood pounded in my ears. I was angry with Kelsie and her machinations. Furious with Logan for letting himself be manipulated by her.

Logan didn't notice. "Come on, El. Let's dance." He pulled the beer out of my hand, set it on a nearby table, and guided me to the center of writhing dancing crowd.

Logan knew how to dance. But he completely ignored the fast beat of music and pulled me into him.

I had to let it go. I had to or risk pushing him away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder as bursts of drunken laughter erupted around us. I shut them all out, trying to be in the moment with Logan. For a moment, I was happy and calm. Then his phone buzzed in his pocket. I felt it through both of our jeans. He ignored it.

"Logan?"

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to let you go."
 

He knew how to melt my heart. I reluctantly let go of him as he reached into his pocket and glanced at his phone. "Duty calls." To his credit, he sounded incredibly disappointed. "I'm sorry, El. I thought we'd have a few hours together. This is the earliest I've ever been called out."

I shrugged, like what can you do? "Take me home on your way."

"What? You don't want to stay at this fabulous party and hang with Collin and Zave?"

"Stop teasing. I'm not dumb enough to depend on those two to get me home safely. Let's go." I took his arm.

"It's just a short walk through the complex to the apartment. I should be back soon."

I just stared at him.

He took a deep breath. "
Seriously
, El, you want me to take you home like back to the dorm?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Wait for me at my place?" He looked hopeful to the point of pleading.

But I couldn't. I knew I would just be there waiting way too eagerly for him to return. And getting more upset by the minute when he didn't. It was better to be unreasonable in my own space. But I couldn't help firing a parting shot. "I'd just be in the way here. I think Zave has a thing for Kelsie."

Logan looked shocked, snorted, and laughed like I was crazy. I stared back at him, totally serious.

"No
way
." He went serious, too, when I didn't back down. He shook his head. "He doesn't have a chance."

I held Logan's gaze. "Not with you in the way." I started walking to the car with my heart pounding so loud in my ears it drowned the music out.
 

Logan had to run to catch up to me. I kept walking, finally waiting for him at the car. He unlocked the door. We both got in in silence.

He stuck the key in the ignition, turning to me before starting the engine. "There's nothing between Kelsie and me."

I nodded. "I know you believe that. And I believe you when you say you don't have feelings for her. But she still has feelings for you. You'd see them if you weren't so busy trying to ignore them. Every time you hang out with her or share your troubles with her. Or jump when she asks you to be a security escort—"

"El, that's not fair—"

I held up a hand to silence him. "Since when is the truth fair? I know you volunteered because it's important to you. I'm sure it's important to Kelsie, too."
 

And I wondered if she was the one who'd gotten Logan involved with CAPSA in the first place. "But it's more than that to her. She sees it as you doing it for her as much as for the girls who need your help.