Red Phoenix (42 page)

‘We need to go home and help your parents,’ John said mildly.

‘I am not going in the car with
that
,’ Leo said fiercely, pointing at me.

‘Simone,’ John said. Simone’s head shot up. ‘Come here.’

‘You are completely crazy,’ Leo growled, pulling Simone closer to him. ‘You saw what that thing can do. You’ll let your daughter near
that
?’

‘That
thing
is your Lady and you have sworn allegiance.’

I rested my head in my hands. ‘Someone please tell me what happened.’ I looked up. Leo’s face was rigid with a combination of fear and hatred. ‘Leo, it’s
me.
Please don’t look at me like that.’

‘You sure that’s Emma?’ Leo rasped.

‘That is one hundred per cent pure Emma, my Lady and my love,’ John said calmly. ‘And I guarantee that she will not harm either of you. Did she harm you before? When she changed?’

I’d
changed.
I collapsed over my knees. Oh my God.

‘Look at her, Leo,’ John said. ‘I won’t order you, but you can see she needs you. Go to her. Simone, go to her. She won’t harm you. She’s just Emma. You love her and she loves you. She’s
family.
She needs you.’ His voice was strained with anguish. ‘She protected you.
Help
her!’

I didn’t see her come but I heard her little feet. Simone threw her tiny arms around me. I lunged forward and grabbed her. She stiffened, then realised that I was just clutching her in a huge hug. I pulled her down into my lap. ‘I would never do anything to hurt you, Simone, you know that.’ I looked up at Leo. ‘You too, Leo, you know I love you both dearly.’ I held Simone tighter and buried my face in her hair. ‘For God’s sake, will somebody tell me what happened?’

John came and sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders. ‘Do you remember anything?’

I shook my head into Simone’s hair. ‘We should take you home. You are probably exhausted.’

I shook my head again. ‘I’m full of energy. I’m just fine. I don’t feel like I blacked out. I
changed
?’ My voice thickened even more. ‘Dear God, John, please tell me.
What happened to me
?’

Simone’s voice was tiny on my chest. ‘You turned into a big black snake monster, Emma.’

We went up to the car in silence. Nobody said anything as John paid for the parking ticket. When we reached the car Leo stopped. ‘I’ll sit in the back with Simone.’ He gestured to John. ‘You drive and keep that thing next to you.’

My insides twisted as if the demon’s sword was inside me. ‘It’s
me,
Leo. I wouldn’t hurt you in a million years.’

Leo glowered at me as he opened the door to put Simone carefully into the car.

‘Mercy is waiting at home for you. Don’t panic, Emma, you will be fine,’ John said.

John drove the car down the ramp and we merged into the tunnel traffic.

‘What did I do, John? Did I destroy all of those demons?’

John made a soft sound of amusement. ‘You were remarkable. I couldn’t have done better myself. You used both energy and physical attacks. You were lightning fast. They didn’t have a chance. You took out a level sixty-five with energy and then blasted six level fifties. Then you took out all the others in a physical attack that was so fast that even I had trouble following you. I couldn’t see the demons, but I could see what you did to them.’

‘Did I at any time threaten to injure any of you?’ I
said, my voice small. But I
knew
the answer to that question.

‘You knocked Simone off her feet,’ John said mildly.

I suddenly found it difficult to breathe.

‘A demon went for her. You knocked her out of the way and bit its head off.’

‘Yuck.’ I wanted to wipe my mouth. ‘So I was no danger to any of you?’

He could hear me begging for reassurance. ‘Emma, it was
you.
Of course not.’ He grinned. ‘Leo’s just prejudiced.’

I turned back to look at Leo. His face was taut with restraint. He had his arms folded over his chest. I turned back to the road. ‘How much me?’

‘Interesting question,’ John said. ‘One hundred per cent of you. But that was less than half of it.’ He glanced away from the road to look at me. ‘We will perform some tests when we return home. I’ll have the Tiger look at you. I’d love to have a look inside you myself, but that may not be a good idea. This should be interesting. Oh.’ He stopped and his face filled with wonder. ‘You are very powerful. I may be able to touch you after all.’ His face lit up with a huge grin. ‘Excellent. We must try when we have you home. With Mercy and the Tiger present, we can try under very controlled conditions.’ He banged the steering wheel with his palm. ‘Excellent!’

‘I cannot believe you are pleased,’ Leo said from the back of the car. ‘She was a goddamn
snake.’

‘So?’ John said, glancing at Leo in the rear-view mirror.

I turned to see Leo. He lifted his arms in front of his chest, then dropped them, still crossed, in front of him.

‘Some of my best friends are snakes,’ John said mildly.

Leo stared out the window and didn’t say anything.

‘When we return I will accept your resignation,’ John said. ‘Feel free to pack your belongings and leave.’ Simone shrieked with horror. I went rigid with shock. ‘No!’

Leo stiffened and dropped his arms. He put his huge hands on his knees and leaned forward. His voice was ferocious. ‘No
way
! I am
not
leaving you! You try to fire me, I’ll camp out at the front door until you take me back in. I am your Retainer and I have vowed to serve you and Simone…’ He hesitated, then plunged on. ‘Until the day I die and there is
nothing you can do about it
!’

‘Please don’t fire Leo, Daddy,’ Simone said, her voice small. ‘I love him.’

‘Who have you vowed to serve, Leo?’ John said. ‘If you cannot keep your word, you are not worthy to be a Retainer.’

Leo leaned back, his hands still on his knees. He stared out the window.

‘Please don’t do this to him, John,’ I said quietly. Leo studied me, his face expressionless. ‘I understand exactly how you feel, Leo, I’d feel the same way if I were you. I’m horrified myself. I
do
know I’d never hurt any of you, regardless of
what
I am. But I understand.’ I knew what I had to do. ‘When we’re home, I’ll formally release you. You can continue to serve the Dark Lord and Simone. You won’t have to have anything to do with me any more if you don’t want to. You can stay with Simone while I’m near, if it makes you feel better. Believe me,’ I looked him right in the eyes, ‘I understand.’

Leo stared out the window again. I turned back to the front.

‘You are entirely undeserving,’ John growled. ‘You do not trust me.’ He gestured with one hand towards me without looking away from the road. ‘This is my
Lady.
I
know
her. She may have hidden depths, but she is still
her
.’ His voice became ice-cold. ‘I cannot begin to describe my disappointment. You let your prejudice overcome you. Five minutes ago you were overjoyed at the prospect of giving your life for her.’

He glanced in the rear-view mirror. ‘Simone.’

Simone’s voice was very small. ‘Yes, Daddy?’

‘Are you frightened of Emma?’

‘Yes, Daddy,’ Simone whispered.

My heart twisted.

‘Do you think she’ll hurt you?’

Simone hesitated. Then, ‘No, she won’t hurt me,’ she said confidently. ‘She’s
Emma.
’

‘Then why are you frightened of her?’

‘Because she’s scary,’ Simone said. ‘Like your Celestial Form. I’m scared of that too.’ Simone turned to Leo. I couldn’t see her, she was directly behind me. ‘Emma won’t hurt us, she loves us.’

I turned to Leo again. His face was still expressionless.

‘Here we are,’ John said. ‘Let’s go up and have a look at the Snake Lady.’

‘Please don’t call me that,’ I said quietly as I stepped out of the car.

K
wan Yin and the Tiger were waiting for us in the living room.

‘I want to check on my parents before we do anything,’ I said.

‘That may not be a good idea,’ John said. ‘You scared them half to death. I think your mother nearly had a heart attack. Gold has her sedated.’

‘I want to make sure they’re okay.’

‘I’ll go with you,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘You may need me.’

‘Thanks.’

I tapped on the door to my room and sidled in with Ms Kwan’s reassuring presence behind me. I tiptoed through my little living room into the bedroom. My mother lay on the bed, staring wide-eyed and unblinking at the ceiling. My father sat beside her, holding her hand. Gold sat on the other side next to the wall. He gave me a brief smile, and I returned it.

My father rose and backed against the window. ‘Get out.’

‘Dad, it’s me. Emma. I’m sorry I scared you.’

‘Get
out
!’ my father hissed. ‘You’ve done enough damage.’ He looked from me to my mother. ‘I don’t know where the real Emma is, but as soon as Barbara
comes around we’re out of here.’ He glared at Gold. ‘I don’t know where my daughter is, but I’ll find her. I’ll have the police onto you people and we’ll find her and get her out of here.’

‘Oh God,’ I moaned. I put my head in my hands, then looked up at my father desperately. ‘I’m Emma.’

‘Get away from us.’

Ms Kwan glided around me and carefully approached my father as if he were a frightened animal. He stayed completely still and glowered at her.

‘Give me your hand,’ she said, holding her hand out.

He glared at her without moving. Then he relented and took her hand. His eyes widened and his face went slack. He stared at Ms Kwan in wonder.

‘Emma,’ Ms Kwan said as if from a great distance, ‘come and hold my other hand.’

I did as she said. Her power moved through me and I felt both her and my father. We were joined.

‘Brendan Donahoe,’ Ms Kwan said gently, ‘this is your daughter, Emma. She is unique. She has loved and shared with a creature that is unlike any creature in existence. It has changed her.’

I could sense my father’s wonder and Ms Kwan’s gentle assurance.

‘She is still your daughter,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Look.’ She showed him how much I loved him and my mother. She showed him my true feelings for my family. ‘Now. See.’ She showed him my feelings for Xuan Wu and Simone. Then she showed me to him: all the way through.

‘Oh my god,’ my father said softly. I felt his comprehension.

‘Thank you,’ I whispered.

Ms Kwan nodded, smiled sadly, and released us. My father looked at me with awe. ‘Emma.’

I fell into his arms and gave him a huge hug. He squeezed me tight and pressed his face into my hair.

‘We will have to ask this lady to do the same thing for your mum when she comes around,’ my father said. ‘That was incredible.’

‘This lady is Kwan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy,’ I said. ‘She is the most wonderful person I have ever met.’ I turned to thank Ms Kwan but she had already gone.

Come back to the living room, Emma, we want to have a look at you,
Ms Kwan said into my ear.

‘Let me know when my mother comes around, Gold,’ I said without releasing my father. ‘I’ll ask Ms Kwan to come back.’

‘My Lady,’ Gold said.

I pulled away from my father. ‘I have to go, Dad, they want to look inside me. None of us has ever seen that snake,’ I winced, ‘thing before, and they want to do some tests on me.’

‘Why were you a snake, Emma?’ he said.

‘I don’t know, Dad. All I know is that I’ll never hurt any of you.’ I ran my hands through my hair. ‘Xuan Wu is part snake. That may be why it’s coming out in me.’

‘
Part
snake?’

‘I’ll tell you all about it later. Like Ms Kwan said, he’s unlike anything else in existence.’

My mother’s face was still blank. ‘Let me know when she comes out of it,’ I said, and left.

In the living room, John was giving Leo orders. ‘A bowl of water. A table knife. A cigarette lighter. If we don’t have one in the apartment, then run down to the Seven Eleven and buy one. I’ll need a piece of wood with some leaves still on it—go down the drive and find me a small branch. Must be from a large tree. I’ll also need a rock. Not concrete, a natural rock. About the size of a fist would be good.’ He paused. ‘A ceramic bowl, a large one. And some newspaper. That’s all.’

Leo nodded. I sat down next to the Tiger. He took my hand and squeezed it affectionately. Leo glared at me, then spun and left.

‘I think we should move to the dining room. We can put the elements on the table,’ John said.

‘Good idea.’ The Tiger raised my hand and guided me up. He put his arm around my shoulders and led me into the dining room. ‘You’ll be fine,’ he said into my ear.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ I said. ‘Water? A knife?’

‘We will just test your compatibility,’ Ms Kwan said gently as we sat. ‘We will not hurt you, don’t worry. The knife is just for the metal.’

‘First the Tiger will have a look inside you,’ John said. He leaned his elbows on the table and gestured towards the Tiger without looking at him. ‘Bai Hu.’

‘No
way
! You didn’t tell me you wanted me to look inside her! You said we were just testing her compatibility!’

‘What’s the problem?’ John said. ‘Just have a look inside her, see if you can find the snake, have a look at it, tell us what it looks like. You may even be able to get it to talk to you.’

The Tiger glowered. ‘I am
not
looking inside Emma.’ He gestured. ‘Mercy, you do it.’

‘You know I cannot,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘It is not in my nature.’

‘I am too drained, even with Mercy’s assistance,’ John said.

‘Get South or East then. Not me,’ the Tiger growled.

‘What’s your problem?’ John said. Then his face cleared. He grinned with comprehension. ‘I don’t believe it.’

‘Believe it.’ The Tiger glowered under his white brows at John. ‘Blind old Turtle.’

‘You are very offensive sometimes, Bai Hu,’ Ms Kwan said softly.

‘Fuckin’ A,’ the Tiger said, and she snorted delicately at him.

‘Watch your mouth,’ John growled.

The Tiger shook his hands in front of his face, first to Ms Kwan and then to me. ‘Worth it.’ He dropped his hands onto the table with a slap. He eyed me appraisingly. ‘Don’t make me do this, I don’t want her to know. You’re
going
and you’ll be gone for a long time.’

‘I know already, Bai Hu,’ I said gently. ‘I’ve known for ages. You are a very big white furry fool.’

‘You have him thoroughly worked out, Emma,’ John said with amusement. ‘Only ever wanted things he couldn’t have. He has a hundred. I have one. So of course he wants mine.’ He grinned at the Tiger. ‘Nothing to hide, my friend. Have a look inside her. It will be good for you. You’ll see the way she truly feels. Should make you know exactly how big a fool you are.’

‘No big ceremony, Tiger?’ I said. ‘Rhonda said no?’

The Tiger studied me for a while without saying anything, and then obviously gave in. His shoulders sagged and he sighed. ‘Okay.’ He glared at John. ‘You owe me one.’

‘I know what to do,’ I said.

He put his hands on my shoulders. ‘Just relax.’

The Tiger’s essence was completely different from John’s. John had been smooth and dark when he walked around inside my head. The Tiger was fierce, sharp and bright. I was concerned for a moment that the sharp edges of his consciousness would hurt me, but he seemed to slide through my brain without harming me. I relaxed.

‘A good balance of yang and yin,’ the Tiger commented quietly as he walked around in my head,
his soft paws padding. ‘Quite a yang female, but she has learned well.’ He shuffled around, and I blocked him out from some of my deeper thoughts despite myself. ‘Sorry, Emma, has to be done,’ the Tiger said ruefully. ‘I need to see everything. Believe me, I would prefer not to be here as well.’

I relaxed and opened up to let him in. But I still wasn’t very happy about him exploring some of my darker corners.

‘Whoa,’ he said, and stepped back. ‘Genius-level intelligence.’ He grinned inside my head. ‘Scary.’

‘You have no idea,’ John said from the other side of the table.

The Tiger plunged back into me. He came to my feelings for John and skirted around them. ‘None of my business. Very strong, very true though.’ He chuckled and stole a quick glance. ‘Okay, Ah Wu, I see what you mean.’ He froze, then stepped back. His Tiger eyes widened inside my head. ‘You are one hell of a lucky man, Ah Wu,’ he marvelled. ‘Whoa.’ He was aghast. ‘
What
a
chick
! How did you two get anything else done in the palace? No wonder you fell asleep in the pool. I
must
get you two back there before you go. Hot damn,’ he added with envy, ‘none of
my
women are that flexible. And she
likes
it when you let go? Unbelievable.’

‘Stop looking at that,’ I snapped. ‘That has nothing to do with you.’

‘You forget yourself, sir,’ the Lady said.

‘You are walking a very fine line, Ah Bai,’ John growled menacingly.

‘Sorry.’ He grinned wryly and winked at me. I huffed at him in response, and imagined myself putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him.
Sorry,
he said silently to me. He asked me a silent question with a cheeky grin and I imagined myself slapping him
hard
across the nose. He rubbed his nose and smiled.

He went back to the inside of my head. ‘Nothing there.’ He shuffled around. ‘Hold on, what’s this?’ He started to burrow, and I winced. He really began to dig, and it hurt.

‘Ease off, Tiger,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘You may injure her.’

‘There’s something down here,’ the Tiger said as he burrowed. ‘I think I’ve found it.’

The pain became excruciating. He tore through my brain, making every nerve alive with pain. ‘Please hurry, Tiger, you’re really starting to hurt me.’

He stuck his claws right into me and I shrieked with agony. I couldn’t see anything but I heard John moving. ‘Don’t touch me!’ I shouted. A red veil went across my vision, even though I had my eyes closed. My ears filled with roaring. My head was full of razor-sharp steel knives. Then something went
click.
Everything went quiet. It was perfectly dark and silent.

‘Broke through,’ the Tiger said softly. ‘Will you look at that.’

‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Don’t attempt to move, physically or mentally. Just stay very still.’

‘What is your name?’ John said.

‘Emma,’ I said softly, and gasped. I heard two voices say the same thing.

‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan warned me again. ‘Try to keep control.’

‘You are a Serpent?’ John said.

I didn’t say anything. Then I had to. ‘I’m your Lady, Xuan Wu. I love you.’ Those two voices again. Mine and somebody else’s. I realised: the snake was talking too.

‘Why are you here?’ John said.

‘To look after Simone, of course, silly,’ I said impatiently. I didn’t have any control over what I said. It just came out.

‘Have you ever seen anything like me before, guys?’ the Emma part of me said.

‘We are all shaking our heads: no,’ John said. He knew I couldn’t see.

‘What do I look like right now, John?’ I said quietly.

None of them answered.

‘Make sure Leo doesn’t see me then,’ I hissed. Both voices hissed.

I had a sudden thought. ‘Are you a demon?’ I asked myself, and Ms Kwan gasped. ‘I said no,’ I said.

‘Whoa,’ the Tiger said, his voice full of awe. ‘She really did do that, Ah Wu, I felt it. She asked herself a question, and then answered it truthfully.’

‘
Are you my Serpent
?’ John said fiercely.

I stopped at that. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I have no idea what I am.’

Suddenly I was filled with such anguish that I felt I would burst. Kwan Yin moaned in sympathy. She felt it too.

‘I don’t know what I am. I’m not a demon. But,’ my heart twisted, ‘I’m lost. Can you help me find my way home?’

‘I will do my best,’ John said gently. ‘What does your home look like? Where is it?’

‘It’s green and crystal and beautiful,’ I said. ‘It’s pure and bright and joyful. It’s full of love and kindness. And I miss it so much I want to die.’

‘I wish you hadn’t done this to me,’ the Emma part of me added softly. ‘I can see it. It will haunt my dreams until I find it.’

‘I’m sorry I did this to you, Emma,’ the Tiger said. ‘I feel your pain.’

‘Simone and John are enough for me until I find it,’ I said. ‘And poor Leo, who is scared to death of me.’

‘Will you leave us if you find it?’ John said, his voice full of grief. ‘Will you leave us if you find your home?’

‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. I shook myself. ‘John, Leo’s outside the door. He has the stuff. He’s terrified. But he needs to face his fear. He needs to do this. He will have to get used to me, now that I am here. Let him in. Ms Kwan, let him in, and hold his hand. I need to talk to him.’

I still couldn’t see anything. But I heard the door open. Ms Kwan moved and Leo bellowed with terror.

‘Hold, Leo,’ I said firmly, with both voices. I felt him freeze. I saw his face with my eyes closed. I saw right through him. I saw his dread.

‘Approach,’ I said. ‘Don’t be afraid.’

He stood still for a long time. ‘Kwan Yin,’ I said. She nodded, and moved to help him. I blindly sensed them approach me. Every step was a million miles for Leo.

‘Touch me,’ I said softly. ‘Please, Leo, touch me.’

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. It took reserves of courage that he didn’t even know he possessed. He truly was terrified of me. The poor man was more than scared of snakes; he had a phobia. He was mortally afraid of them…of us. But he reached out and touched me anyway, helped by Kwan Yin, who understood.

‘Let go, Lady,’ I said softly. Leo flinched. He was sure I would strike him down and kill him.

‘You are a stupid asshole, Leo. It’s just me.’ And I showed him. I showed him right through.

‘Holy shit,’ Leo said quietly.

‘You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use any sort of bad language?’ I said with delight. ‘For a Navy guy you really don’t fit the stereotype.’