Redeemed Complete: A Military Stepbrother Romance (33 page)

Soon, we were out of Summitville, and driving toward one of the neighboring towns. “What kind of food are we eating? I broke the silence, trying to start a conversation.

Harrison didn’t look at me. “I was thinking Mediterranean.” I didn’t say anything, not sure if Harrison knew that I loved Mediterranean food and could eat it any time, any place. He may have picked that up over the years, but knowing Harrison, he wasn’t paying attention.

There weren’t many cars on the road - people stayed in their houses with family and friends as we got closer and closer to Christmas, and last minute shopping wasn’t as big around here as it was in the city.

There was an odd kind of calm in the car, which was strange because Harrison and I had barely spoken to each other in days. I resisted turning my head toward him in the driver’s seat, not wanting to risk him noticing me and losing focus on driving. I figured there would be time enough to talk about what was going on at dinner.

I knew this was his pattern - get into something, find a reason to get out of it, then realize that maybe he hadn’t made the right decision the first time, and set out to try and fix things. I hated that I let him drag me along on the ride like I seemed comfortable doing these days, but just being around him made me feel something no other man had ever made me feel.

That was the best way I could put it. I didn’t really understand it, but I also couldn’t help but let him carry me along like this.

Finally we got a few towns over and Harrison started looking around for a parking spot after we turned onto the main street, lit on both sides with holiday lights. Small groups of people milled around as they hurried to wherever they were going in the bitter cold.

I pointed out a couple parking spots along the way with my finger, but Harrison grunted that he could probably find something closer.

I kept quiet, looking out the window, and watching the couples as they moved down the street. Everyone was a combination of happy and soon to be happy once they got out of the cold. They were a couple brave souls walking around without jackets on that made me shiver just looking at them.

Finally, Harrison pulled into a side street and found us a parking spot. When the car turned off he looked at me and opened the door, getting out without saying a word.

This was already going well.

I close the door behind me, and braced myself against the stinging wind, glad that at least it was not snowing this evening. Harrison waited on the curb for me, and when I stopped next to him, we started down the street, still not speaking.

I’d been to this town before, but it’d been many many years since, and I did not know my way around. Every so often Harrison would glance from left to right, looking at street signs, as if to make sure he was where he thought we were, but he still moved without hesitation.

We stayed off the main street, away from the holiday lights, and finally stopped in front of the Mediterranean restaurant. I assumed this was the place, because I hadn’t seen any other Mediterranean restaurants on our way, and I stared at the menu posted on the wall for a quick moment before Harrison put his strong hand on my lower back, and guided me in, opening the door in front of me.

Well, at least there were a few small vestiges of chivalry still in him tonight.

The restaurant was warm, and I shrugged out of my coat as soon as I could. Harrison took it from me, and, joining in with his own, hung it up on the waiting coat rack on the wall. He stepped toward the maître d’’s booth, and spoke a few words with him, before the maître d’ picked up two menus and ushered us forward into the dining room.

Once we sat down at our booth, I had a moment to take in the restaurant. It was a little bit fancier than I was used to, given that I was used to dive bars and taco stands in New York, and I could hear the soft tones of light orchestral music in the background. It wasn’t exactly a suit and tie formal affair, but it was a nice change of pace nonetheless.

The walls were covered in rich and dark wood, and I could smell sandalwood in the air. Bright and colorful paintings with nautical themes, and Greek beaches with happy people relaxing on them as they sipped from glasses of wine adorned the covered parts of the walls.

People in paintings always used to have all the fun. When would I get to sit on a beach and sip from a glass of wine?

I held up the menu, purposefully high to make sure that I wasn’t looking at Harrison. I’m still getting used to seeing him dressed up like this, despite what I’ve seen at the party a few days ago, and it’s still intimidated me. He still looked like he belonged in combat gear, or something else, something more sinister, but at the same time he knew how to Dress up in such a way that made my knees weak At a glance.

So holding the menu up more defensive than anything else. I was just looking out for my own self-preservation. Plus, it had pictures In it.

Because it was Mediterranean food, though, I already knew what I wanted. I was a sucker for a well prepared lamb and beef shawarma plate, and the photo in this menu made my mouth water almost as much as Harrison would have if I was able to see him sitting across the booth from Me.

Finally, tentatively, I lowered my menu, seeing Harrison’s eyes just over the top as it moved downward. He was looking at the menu two, but he flicked his eyes toward me when mine became visible.

“What are you having?” He asked.

“What else?” I was trying to inject a little levity of the situation. Let’s see if it worked.

Harrison closed his menu and grimaced. “I should’ve known. Is there a lamb and beef shawarma within 100 miles that you haven’t tried?”

Guess it wasn’t going to work at all. “Well, I haven’t tried this one yet.”

The waiter came, and we ordered. Harrison got hummus appetizer, and a mixed seafood and chicken combo grill plate. We ordered a couple drinks as well. Harrison handed our menus to the waiter, and we settled back into our silence.

Both of us seemed intent on investigating the walls more than each other, and to the other people in the restaurant, it must have looked strange for two people not to say a word to each other. Little did they know, that for Harrison and I this was par for the course.

At the same time, though, this didn’t make any sense. The last time Harrison and I had had a conversation, he was reaming me out for trying to help him with the police. He seemed pretty intent on me staying away from him after that, so this whole dinner in a different town thing seemed out of turn.

“What are we doing here?”

“Were having dinner. What does it look like?”

“Don’t be coy with me. We could have dinner anywhere. We could have dinner at home, for that matter.”

“I wanted to get out of the house, and it’s been a while since I had Mediterranean food.”

“Harrison,” I said, trying to keep my voice is even as possible, resting my hands on the red tablecloth. “You’re dancing around the subject.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Where we are having dinner isn’t the point.”

“Sometimes I wish you just get to the point a little quicker.”

He could be so infuriating sometimes. I was the one who took forever to get to the point? I was the one who danced around things? Come on, who was he kidding?

I had to give him a little credit, though. It did take guts to be able to say that with a straight face, the way he was acting. As much as I was mad at him, it made me like him a little bit more.

I stared at Harrison, trying to impose as much of my will on him as I could, without jumping across the table at him. “The point, my dear stepbrother, is that out of nowhere, we are having dinner together. That word, that last word, together, is the important one.” Harrison flinched, but his eyes never left mine. “The point is that we, meaning you and I, are not in the habit of eating together.”

I didn’t know how I could make that any clearer.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling ruefully for the first time, looking almost a little embarrassed that I had called them out like that in a public place. I kept my voice low, though, and no one was looking at us. “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk about tonight.”

I sat back in my chair, ready to hear what he had to say. “And you brought me here, far away from home, to talk about it?”

“Yeah, being at home, or at some place in Summitville just didn’t seem right to me tonight.”

Just then, the waiter came by with our drinks, and Harrison and I both took deep breaths, as if we were each individually happy for a break in the tension. And, it was nice to get a little booze into the system as well, especially if we were in a talk about heavy things. We paused for a few minutes, to sip our drinks, and enjoy the feeling of the cool liquid in the warm restaurant.

“I didn’t like the way things left off between us.”

I set my drink down and folded my arms over my breasts, looking indignant. “That’s a funny way of apologizing to me, Harrison.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m getting to that. I just was under a lot of stress at that moment, and I said the wrong thing, and then I just went with it after that.”

“I was just trying to help.”

“I know, I know.” He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, his elbows on the table. “I know you were just trying to help. I think that’s what set me off in the first place.” He smiled a little bit. “Well, that and the police showing up at the house.”

It was funny the Harrison could make light of something that had been so traumatic for me. Of course, it wasn’t the first time the police had come to the house looking for him over the years. I let it slide. “You had a funny way of thanking me for helping out.”

Harrison shifted in his seat, like it was uncomfortable for him to talk about things that were so personal. “I’ve never been able to ask for help for anything, Laurel. It’s just not who I am. I’ve never been that kind of guy.”

“Harrison, that’s no way to live. We are not meant to be hedgehogs or porcupines.”

“I know, I know, I just can’t seem to get that through my head. I always want to go it alone, do my own thing, push through my problems myself. I have thought about it more than you think.”

I softened. “Well, that’s good at least. I didn’t get the impression you’d thought about it at all.”

“Well, it doesn’t help that I get angry whenever I’m cornered. It’s the same way as when I was a kid. Whenever I see something I don’t like, or something doesn’t go my way, my first instinct is to get mad.” He held up his hand, and then closed it. “This,” he said looking at is closed fist, “has been able to solve most of the problems in my life.”

“Is that really true, though? Is that really the right way to fix things when they don’t go your way?”

Harrison put his hand down, resting it back on the table, looking down at it. “I don’t know anymore.” He thrust his head back, eyes focused on the ceiling, moving downward, downward, until he rested them back on me. “And I don’t know what to do about you.”

“What you mean? There’s nothing for you to do about me. You made that very clear after we got home from the police station.”

Harrison’s eyes widen like he was in shock, like he couldn’t believe what I just said. “Do you think that my feelings towards you have changed at all?”

Now was my turn to be shocked. “Think about what you just said, Harrison, and think about how you’ve acted towards me over the last week. How else am I supposed to think? You’ve given me nothing to work with? I’ve barely heard from you since I brought you back home.”

Harrison looked like he was about to say something, and even started a couple times, before closing his mouth, and looking down at his hands again. “You, you’re right.” His head drooped a little bit, like he was hanging in shame, even then he could barely do so. Shame was not a look that existed for a man like Harrison. “I just understand how I’m supposed to deal with loving you the way I do.”

“It shouldn’t be that difficult, Harrison. Just stop running away from it, and it’ll work itself out. But if you keep on trying to hide from it, nothing will ever happen, nothing more than what already has.”

“I’ve just, I’ve just,” he started, before finding the right words and the will to say it, “I’ve just never felt like this about anyone else before.”

“I think it’s safe to say that neither have I.”

The way Harrison looked at me at that moment, after I finish saying that, made my heart melts. He looked like a lost boy who had just found the way home. He looked like a man stranded in the desert for days, finally realizing that the maria she’d been chasing was real all along. If the table hadn’t been in the way, and the people around us disappeared in that moment, we would’ve jumped on each other right then and there.

“All I’m asking, Harrison, is for you to let me in. Things aren’t always easy, and I know that. But I also know that trying to go it alone all the time doesn’t work. Sometimes, you just have to let someone in. Just so they can help.” I knew it was starting to cry, and I brushed my hands over my eyes trying to clear away the tears before they formed. “It’s taken me a long time to realize, but now that I have, it’s made everything so much easier.”

Harris looked away for the first time in a few minutes, but he was almost fearful to meet my gaze all of a sudden. I took a hasty sip of my drink trying to find anything to do to keep from putting him on the spot like I felt I was doing.

“All I can say, is that I will try, Laurel,” Harrison said when he finally looked back at me. “I want to try, I want to be the man you want me to be, but I’m just not sure if I can Be that man.”

With impeccable timing, that moment the waiter brought our food, and we were able to be quiet for a few minutes and just enjoy the food. I had always loved the spices and flavors of Mediterranean food, and tonight’s meal was no exception – it was nearly perfect. Of course, the way the conversation had gone might have had something to do with it as well.

Harrison sat on the other side of the table, and looked to be enjoying his food as well. We made a little bit a Smalltalk along the way, both of us avoiding heavy subject of before, but both of us clearly knowing that the conversation was not entirely over yet.