Redemption (Iris Series) (26 page)

“Bye.”

As tears leaked from her eyes, she not only prayed for his mom, but for the conversation they would have when he would return.

When Ayanna got off the phone with Jon, she made a decision.  It was something she’d been thinking about ever since Jon had left and even though she was nervous, she was determined.

She was going to call her mother.

It was beginning to hit Ayanna that her ‘self-reflection’ journey wasn’t just about developing a deeper appreciation for pizza, or taking a meaningful look at her sex life and her choices in men.  It was also forcing her to evaluate her relationship with her parents.

After the last month of thinking about her own motivations and reasons behind her bad choices as a reaction to her parents, she’d started to wonder if her
own
parents had made choices in their parenting due to the relationships
they’d
had with
their
parents.

It wasn’t an easy realization to come to.  She didn’t like to think of them as humans with feelings, strangely enough.  But she wasn’t a teenager anymore.  And although the thought of forgiving them made her cringe, she knew she couldn’t stay angry forever. 

As she’d thought more about it, she reflected on the fact that both of her paternal grandparents had died when her father was a young man in Sri Lanka, and her maternal grandfather had died while her mom was still young.  That had to have affected them in some way. 

Ammie, her mother’s mother, was the only grandparent Ayanna’d known until her death a few years back.  She was kind and compassionate.  A simple woman. 

And she had been a great cook. 

Ayanna had wonderful memories of visiting her with her parents and brother, and Ammie would cook fabulous but simple meals for them.  She had been a huge influence in Ayanna’s desire to pursue cooking.  To watch her create the different foods and mix them with the flavors of her culture was something Ayanna had loved to watch.

Seeing the pain Jonathan was experiencing with his mom made her start to think.  Life was indeed short, as Ryann had experienced firsthand with the loss of her late husband a few years back, or Jeremy when he’d lost his dad as a teen. 

Ayanna had begun feeling like she needed to reach out to her own parents.  She had no expectations, and no matter what happened nothing could erase the years of hurt or bitterness still sitting in her gut.  But Jonathan’s situation had brought home the fact that at some point
some
one needed to make a move, and if Ayanna was ready to make it then she should be the one to do it.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and pulled out her phone, dialing her mom’s office number instead of the cell number.  If her mom was in court, she didn’t want to be blamed for potentially making her cell ring and have her get in trouble if she had forgotten to turn her volume down.

It had been almost a month since she’d talked to her mom which was not uncommon for them.  The last time they’d talked was when Ryann had been shot.

“Ina Sarin’s office.  This is Lydia.”

Ayanna took a deep breath.

“Hi Lydia,” she said to her mom’s administrative assistant.  “This is Ayanna.”

There was a pause.

“Ina’s daughter?” Ayanna clarified with a roll to the eyes.

“Of course, of course.  Let me see if your mom is available, Ayanna.”

Lydia put Ayanna on hold.  She was beginning to wonder if this phone call was a good idea.

“Ayanna?  What’s wrong?” her mom asked in a slightly panicked voice.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mom.”

“Oh.  Well, okay.  You just never call here, so—”

“I know.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Okay.  So.  Did you need something?” her mom asked after a moment.

Here goes nothing.

“I know it’s your wedding anniversary next week and I was wondering,” she paused, “if you and Dad wanted to come to my place for dinner.  You know, like a family dinner.”

God, this was awkward.

“Oh.  Well.  I’m not sure what your father has planned, so—”

Ayanna let loose a quiet sigh.

“Okay.”  Ayanna paused.  “I was just asking.”  There was some more silence.  “Well, have a good rest of your day then.”  Ayanna was about to disconnect when her mother stopped her.

“Why don’t I talk to him tonight and get back to you.  Did you have a day in mind?”

Ayanna could feel the butterflies in her stomach.  This was the longest she and her mom had talked without arguing since Ayanna could remember.

“I was thinking next Saturday night.  I would invite Dev, too,” Ayanna said, referring to her younger brother. 
And Jonathan
, she thought.  If he was home.  She was so proud of who he was that she would love for her parents to meet him. 

“Yes, that would be good.  We haven’t seen him since he’s been studying for his exams.”

“Okay.  Why don’t you call or text after you’ve talked to Dad.”

“Fine.”  Pause.  “How are you?”

Surprised by the question, Ayanna responded.  “I’m good.  I’m really good, Mom.”  She paused and decided to go for broke.  “So, you know I moved into Ryann’s old apartment.”

“Yes, you told me you were planning on doing that when we talked a while back.  She moved in with her boyfriend then?”

“Yeah.  I moved into her apartment a little over a week ago.”  She paused.  “I got a new job.”

“Oh?  You’re not working at that restaurant anymore?”  Her mother didn’t hide her distaste very well.

“No, I had another opportunity present itself.  Ryann introduced me to her boyfriend’s cousin, Janie.  She’s a chef and owns her own catering company.  She studied in Europe too.  She was looking for a right hand man, if you will, and offered me the position.  So, I’ll be cooking more now.  And she and I have been talking about me potentially becoming a partner down the road, after we’ve had a trial period first.”

“Huh.  That’s interesting,” she said with hesitation.  “And how is the pay?”

They had been doing so well.  Ayanna tried not to get annoyed and kept her voice even.

“It pays well enough for me to have my own apartment in Manhattan, to put food on my table, and to allow me to do what I love to do.  That’s what matters to me.”

Her mother sighed.  “Alright.  Well, I need to go, Ayanna.  Thank you for the invitation.  I’ll discuss it with your father tonight and let you know tomorrow.”

“Okay.  I’ll talk to you then,” Ayanna said.

There was a pause.  “Bye, Yannie,” her mom said then disconnected.

Ayanna blinked.

Her mom hadn’t called her by that name in 18 years.

Ayanna called Ryann immediately after speaking with her mom, and Ryann was both surprised and thrilled that Ayanna had taken the first step toward mending her relationship with her parents.

“I’m so friggin’
proud
of you, Yan.  Seriously.  I know how hard that must’ve been to do.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually looking forward to it, if they even come to dinner that is.  I mean I’m fuckin’ scared as hell, but I kinda wan
t to see if there’s some hope for all of us.”

“Just remember no matter what they’re like, you’re doing the right thing.  You can only control your own stuff.  You can’t control theirs.  It’s gonna be what it’s gonna be, but at least you know you’re doing right by yourself.”

“Once again, you should’ve gone into psychology,” Ayanna muttered, then continued with hesitancy.  “So, I’m gonna tell you something which is gonna shock the living shit out of you.  It might be good if you sat down first.”

“Geez, louise.  Okay,” Ryann said.  “Shoot.”

Ayanna took a deep breath and said, “I told Jonathan I loved him.”

There was a moment of silence then Ryann let out an enormous scream and started crying.  “Yan,” she said in a teary voice.

“I know.  I know.  I can’t believe I said it,” Ayanna said, sniffling herself.

“This is the first time you’ve ever
…oh, hold on,” she said.  “Jeremy…no, baby.  I’m fine.  It’s good news, I promise,” she squealed.

Ayanna heard Jeremy mutter something in the background and she could only smile. Ryann finally came back on the phone.  “What did Jon say?”

Ayanna hesitated then said, “Nothing.”

“Oh.  Well, that’s okay.”

“I’m not gonna worry about it.  The words just popped out.  It was at the restaurant the night he’d found out about his mom when we went outside right after the whole ex-fiancé debacle.  He smiled when I said it, but I told him not to say anything.  I just went back inside so he could check his messages, and that’s when I bumped into Emily, and you know the rest.”

“Oh, then that’s totally fine.  Listen.  When he’s home and you have time to talk, you’ll work everything out.  You’ll see.”

“Yeah.  He called earlier.  His mom had a triple bypass and is in critical condition, so his mind is understandably occupied.  But he said he wanted to talk when he got home.  And it didn’t sound ominous or anything, so I’m holding out hope.”

“Oh, sweetie.  I love you,” she sighed.  “It’s all going to be okay.  I’m just so happy you’ve finally found someone wonderful.”  She paused.  “And listen, I wanted you to know that before Jeremy and I left the restaurant that night and we said goodbye to Drew, I invited him to the art showing at the end of the month.  But,” she’d continued in a rush, “Jonathan’s ex wasn’t there to hear.  She was in the restroom when I asked, so she didn’t hear the invite. 
And
I get the feeling it wasn’t a love connection with Drew so I doubt he would bring her anyway.  Add in the fact that he knows the rest of us would be there and the awkwardness between Jon and her, and I’m sure she won’t be with him.  I just wanted to tell you, though.”

“No worries.  She’s nothing to me, and even better, she’s nothing to Jonathan.  Still, I hope I never have to look at her again.  Just picturing them together makes my stomach turn.”

During the conversation, Ayanna mentioned in passing that she wished she had a bigger dining table for the dinner with her parents.  An hour later, Ryann and Jeremy paid her a surprise visit, and Jeremy, who was an accomplished carpenter, brought along his measuring tape.  He offered to make Ayanna a tabletop to place over her existing table which currently sat only two people.  Ayanna was shocked, thrilled, and adamant that she pay him, but he refused even hearing her arguments, so Ayanna insisted on making him a meal in the coming weeks.  He promised the tabletop would be complete before her dinner party with her parents.

The next day, Ayanna heard from her mom.  The conversation was a bit stilted, but argument free.  Her mother and father would be coming to dinner the next Saturday night, and her brother Dev would be joining them as well.  As soon as she called him, she thought dryly.

“I can’t believe you called them, Yan.  What were you thinking?” Dev asked when she confirmed the dinner with him.

“I know.  It’s totally crazy, right?”

“I don’t even feel like I’m talking to my sister right now,” he snorted.

“I don’t know, Dev,” she sighed.  “I just feel like life is gonna pass us by so quickly, and if I wanna have some kind of a relationship with my parents, I need to make a move.”

“Yeah, well they can make a move too,” Dev said.

There was no love lost between her brother and parents either.  And that made her sad.  Maybe she could start patching things up and help bring the family back together.  Stranger things had happened.

“I know, but I’m kinda at this turning point in my life, and,” she hesitated.  “I’m dating someone, Dev.”

“What else is new?” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

“No.  I mean, this guy?  He’s kind of a game changer for me.  He’s a
good
guy.”

There was a long pause.

“Wow.  Okay.  Now I really don’t feel like I’m talking to my sister.”

Ayanna chuckled then got serious.

“You’re gonna love him.  I’m hoping he’ll be able to make it to dinner with all of us.  I mean, that’s how good he is, Dev.  I’m actually thinking of introducing him to the parental units.  Am I fuckin’ nuts or what?”  Ayanna pressed the bridge of her nose.

“Well, you’re definitely fuckin’ nuts, but that’s beside the point.  Who is he?  What’s his name and all that?”

“Jonathan White.  He used to be a Wall Street investor, but now teaches Business and Finance at a private high school on the West Side, where Ryann used to work?”

“Wait.  He has a
job
?” Dev asked, teasing.

“Yeah, right?  If that alone doesn’t cause the parental units to choke on the dinner,” Ayanna joked.  “He kinda comes off as conservative, but has a great sense of humor and an incredible heart.  And did I mention he’s fucking hot as hell?”

“How hot are we talkin’ here?”

“Hands off, buddy.  He doesn’t bat for your team and he’s all mine.”

“That’s alright.  I’ve been seeing someone too,” Dev threw out there.