Redemption Song (22 page)

“This is amazing,” she whispered, her gaze never veering from the view ahead. “This must have cost a fortune. I can’t believe you did this.”

Before Ethan could reply, Granny Mae jumped in. “Oh that’s not all he did, darlin.” She cast a questionable glance at her grandson and Ethan nodded, approving that she continue. “I told lil’ E all about how you and Ben hate missing Wednesday night church on the days you go to the hospital, so he suggested that while we’re here, we have our own little service.”

The utter look of shock that flashed across Alaina’s expression was impossible to not distinguish. She shifted her gaze and eyed him curiously. “You suggested that?”

“He even handpicked the passage to be covered,” Granny Mae added proudly.

Alaina’s confused gaze never faltered. “But, you . . .”

“Wanted to do something nice for you,” Ethan finished for her. “But trust me, it wasn’t without a whole lot of help from Ben and Granny Mae,” he added quickly before Alaina presumed he’d been lying all along about knowing absolutely nothing about the Bible. The truth was that he
still
knew absolutely nothing about the Bible. Granted, as he and Granny Mae and Ben navigated their way through the overwhelmingly huge book that afternoon, he’d managed to learn a little. Granny showed him the difference between the Old and New Testaments. She showed him how to use the index and the concordance. She even told him a little about the men that wrote some of the books. The more Ethan listened to his grandmother, the more he saw that same sparkle fill her eye that he always noticed in Alaina. It was the same with Ben. He was beginning to wonder if maybe they had more things figured out than he’d previously given them credit for.

Deciding to ignore the vulnerable feeling rising in him as Alaina continued to gaze into his eyes with a combination of confusion and astonishment; he turned away and reached for the bag he’d brought along from the house. In it were several Bibles that Granny Mae had managed to scrounge up from around the house. Her own enormous wide print, black leather Bible. A thin, colorful paperback for Ben. Alaina’s was a combination of soft, pink and brown leather with what must have been a hundred multicolored shards of paper bookmarking various places. Finally, for Ethan, a dusty gray hardback, bound in a smooth leather carrying case that had once belonged to his grandfather. That was all Granny Mae had found. Ted would have to share.

But, to Ethan’s own amazement, when Granny Mae spoke up and asked, “Who would like to start us off with prayer?”, Ted pulled his own travel sized Bible out of his back jean pocket and said, “I’ll do it.”

What?
Silent Ted reads the Bible? Silent Ted prays?

Everyone bowed their head and closed their eyes. Ethan, quickly catching on, mimicked their actions and did the same.

“Father,” Ted began, his voice suddenly strong and confident. “We come to you today with thankful hearts. We wish to thank you for friends and family and the opportunity to sit in the midst of your creation and offer words up to you.”

Wow, Ted’s pretty good at this praying stuff.

“Lord, there are many seasons in our lives and we pray that you will be the central focus of each of them. Whether we’re taking on new members of our family (
was that meant for Granny?
), or taking on new responsibilities we fear we can’t handle (
Alaina?
), or dealing with changes that are scary and not always explainable (
poor Ben
), or trying to figure out what kind of people we will choose to become (
uh-oh, that one was for me
); God we pray that you will guide our decisions and that we will step back and be still enough to hear your guidance and allow you to lead as only you know how. Please bless these people, Father, and bless this study. It is in Jesus' name that we pray. Amen.”

A light chorus of "amen’s" echoed around Ethan.

“That was absolutely beautiful, Ted,” Granny Mae said. “Thank you.”

Ted nodded and gave Ethan a slight wink. How had he not known before that Ted was a Christian? Because silent Ted hardly ever talked, that’s why. But now Ethan understood why. There’s no way Ted would ever approve of the types of decisions Bruce asked of Ethan every day. Ted never offered input because he didn’t want to be a bad influence.

“Okay, honey,” Granny Mae continued, shifting her gaze back to Ethan. His stomach suddenly tightened, knowing exactly what was next to come. “Would you like to read the passage you picked out?”

He took a hesitant breath. “Uh, yeah sure.” It amazed Ethan at his unexpected feeling of awkwardness. He could perform in front of thousands at a time, but when it came to reading a few lines from a book, he froze. It was just a book wasn’t it? Ethan was beginning to wonder.

He placed his fingers on the bookmarked spot he’d made earlier that day and spoke; trying to locate at least a portion of the confidence he’d heard in Ted’s tone as he prayed. “Well, I did have a lot of help, so this wasn’t all my decision, but we picked Psalms 23.”

Truth be known, Granny Mae had recommended that scripture. Said it would be very fitting for everyone’s current situations. Maybe part of Ethan’s nervousness was due to the fact that he hadn’t actually sat down and read the passage the way he needed to. He’d skimmed over it, finally settling on it because he’d read so many random passages that day and hadn’t had a clue what any of them meant. This one seemed the most direct, but he hadn’t paid a whole lot of attention to the detail. He only hoped he would read it the way it was supposed to be read. Ethan took one last deep breath and a slight glance across the horizon.
Oh well, here goes nothing.
As he read, he concentrated on the meaning of each verse, determined to figure out why these people loved this book so much.

“Psalms 23,” Ethan began. “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Ethan paused, realizing he hadn’t taken a breath yet. He took one deep inhalation and continued, never allowing his eyes to lift from the page. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

When Ethan finished reading, he skimmed back over the passage again to make sure he hadn’t messed anything up. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that he realized everyone was silent. He raised his gaze and found all eyes on him. His stomach immediately tightened again.

Granny Mae flashed a loving smile. “Beautifully done, lil’ E.”

Ethan managed a self-conscious grin. “Thanks.”

Now that Ethan actually paid attention to the words of the psalm, he understood why Granny Mae would want him to choose it. Alaina and Ben had faced that . . . what was it called . . . valley of death? They had faced that after their parent’s accident. Now, Ben wasn’t just facing the valley, he was walking right through the middle of it. Was it possible that there actually was a God that could provide enough comfort to Ben and Alaina that they didn’t have to fear? Was He really with them? Would He really comfort them and make it feel as though they were lying in the middle of beautiful pastures without a care in the world? That was a beautiful thought, and just as Ethan was about to dismiss it, the strangest feeling seemed to flow through his veins as if he’d just injected some kind of happy drug. What was that feeling?

For the rest of the night, Ethan listened to everyone talk about the guy, David, who had written the psalm. Turns out, David was a song writer, just like Ethan. They each compared their favorite scriptures and read them out loud. He listened until the sun finally set entirely and the twinkling pink ocean surface was replaced with a jet black sheet of sparkling stars.

Yes, Ethan listened as he had never listened before, and with each word spoken—without him even realizing it was happening—Ethan’s heart slowly softened and he finally began to believe.

Ethan

The following week with Alaina was nothing short of magical. They’d spent each possible moment together. She’d even convinced him to attend church with the family on Sunday under his Brandon alias. That had been interesting, but not entirely bad either.

Alone time with Alaina was brief and usually only happened after Ben was tucked comfortably into bed. Since Ben’s last appointment, the one in which Ethan accompanied, he had been put on an entirely new medication regimen. And it was extensive to say the least. Ben stayed so drugged up on pain meds that he was beginning to be asleep more often than he was awake. Alaina continued to work the majority of her days away, doing her seventeen-year-old best to provide enough money to at least make minimum payments on Ben’s hospital bills. It made Ethan practically nauseous to wonder what the total was up to by now. He’d love to contribute—he had money to spare—but he knew Alaina would never accept it.

Ethan continued to hide away in the house most of the time, but even to his own surprise, he wasn’t bored in the least. In fact, he had taken to writing again. The psalm of David had inspired him a little. He’d even peeked at a few of the other psalms when he knew no one was watching. Ethan was always amazed at the feeling behind the words he read. Some were consumed with power, some with courage, and some with love. But in each was the same message over and over. They called upon a God who could offer them exactly what they needed in their present situation. They didn’t fear. They didn’t anger. They didn’t back down. And in Ethan’s eyes, that made for some pretty good lyrics.

When Ethan wasn’t writing, he was thinking. His mother’s plan, much to the sake of his pride, had been a complete success. Ethan had never felt like a bigger jerk in his entire life. What was he thinking getting into that stupid Camero? Why was he even drinking in the first place? He was successful, with a lifestyle that ninety-nine percent of the world only dreamed of, and there he was, wasting it away on alcohol and a self-centered girlfriend. Mistreating his mom, who he knew was one of the few people that actually had his best interest at heart. And being too wrapped up in his own circumstances to even realize the types of tragedies that were happening all around him. There were people out there, kids in fact, that were suffering, and he was spending his time singing pointless little pop songs about love stories that weren’t even realistic, much less possible. He hadn’t understood it when Alaina first said it, but now he did. He was wasting his God-given talent.

Yes, God-given.

That was something else that Ethan had been considering this past week. Once he’d allowed his heart to open a little to the possibilities of a Creator, everything just seemed to make a little more sense. He didn’t just wonder aimlessly about where he’d come from, or why he was alive to begin with, or what the whole purpose of his time on this Earth was all about. To be honest, it was a little exhilarating to not claim to have all the answers.

But all of these new mindsets didn’t change Ethan’s current situation. Truth be known, he had still messed up (messed up big-time), and he was still in trouble with his mom. He was still mid-tour, with at least fifty more stops to go in the US before its completion. And to top all of that off, he was still falling more and more everyday for a girl that he potentially had no future with.

Whoever said that just because you believe in God your life becomes easier was totally delusional.

Ethan had already ignored five persistent phone calls from Bruce that week. The voicemails started out with humor. “Hey there, lil’ buddy. How’s hillbilly hell treating you?” Then they’d turned to desperation. “Alright superstar, you’ve got to pull it together. I’ve got upcoming venue owners emailing me angry letters to find out if you’re going to be able to make it to your next concert. So far, we’ve only missed three shows. Right now, the press thinks you have laryngitis. Come back soon and maybe we can salvage this whole deal.” The final message portrayed a tone of hostility that Ethan had never heard from his fun loving agent. “Mr. Carter, I would like you to remember that you have signed a contract to complete this tour. It would be in your best financial interest to return to it as soon as possible before more drastic measures must be taken to assure your arrival.”

Ethan raked his hands through his hair as he leaned backward in the patio chair at the little table in the garden. When had life become so complicated? Were these the consequences to bad decisions? He didn’t want to think about his future, or his agent, or his tour right now. All he wanted was for Alaina to get home from work. Granny Mae and Ted had taken Ben to an arts and crafts show downtown and Ethan was looking forward to some quality time with Alaina.

Ethan would be perfectly satisfied with a lifetime of moments just like the one’s he’d shared with Alaina this week. Secret kisses in the hallway. Long talks in the garden until all hours of the night. Ethan sharing thoughts and feelings that he’d never told anyone else in his entire life. He told Alaina about his dad leaving. About how he felt deserted and was still angry and bitter about it all to this day. He talked about how he felt like he needed to support his mom to make up for his dad’s absence . . . one of the reasons why he worked so hard to be successful in his performing career. And Alaina always listened to it all with nonjudgmental ears. She always knew exactly what he needed to hear, whether it be just a word of advice, or something she’d read in a recent morning devotional.

And usually, at least once a day, there was a time that Alaina would allow Ethan to make her forget all the complications of her life. Those he always looked forward to. She’d sink into his arms, frail and tired in body, but alive and vibrant in spirit as her kisses filled him with an excitement unlike any other he’d ever felt. But Ethan was respectful and never pushy. He’d be angry with himself for being any different with Alaina. She deserved the best guy and he could only attempt to be a fragment of that for her.