Refuge (19 page)

“Look at me,” Nikolas ordered, his warm hands
moving up to frame my cold face. I opened my eyes to meet his. “I
know this feels wrong and frightening to you, but that is only
because you aren’t used to it. Don’t run from it, and don’t push it
away. Feel your Mori, get to know it, and let it get to know
you.”

I grabbed a thread of my power and held onto
it like a lifeline as I faced the Mori.
Stop!
I told it sharply, but it
ignored me and surged forward again. I brandished my power like a
weapon.
Stop!

The Mori froze, and I sensed it watching me
warily. We faced off for what seemed like forever before it slowly
pulled back in a reluctant act of submission. I pulled back my
power, and we studied one another for the first time without a wall
between us. The Mori was a small blob of brooding darkness that
broadcast a myriad of emotions and jumbled thoughts I could not
understand. We were like familiar strangers, two people who had
shared the same house for a long time without ever speaking.

Hello,
I said before I realized how stupid that
sounded. You did not talk to the demon in your head.
Yeah, because having a demon in
your head is so normal. They have hospitals for this kind of
thing.

The Mori shifted position slightly, reminding
me of a dog tilting its head when you speak to it.
Do you understand me?
I asked
it.

It did not speak, but I sensed something that
felt like recognition – and resentment. I’d be resentful too if I
had been locked up for years. Still, I couldn’t help the spark of
excitement that flared in my chest. Don’t you want to talk to
me?

Talk?
The word filled my mind, and I recognized the
voice I had heard in my head my whole life.

Yes, you know – get to know each other, I guess.

The Mori did not respond, and I wondered if I
had imagined it speaking. I reached toward it, and it shrunk back
suddenly, making a sound like a growl. It took me several seconds
to realize it was scared of me, or more likely of the power I held.
Taking a huge leap of faith, I dropped the power and let it sink
back into my core.
I
won’t hurt you,
I said the same way I would talk to a feral
animal.

Glow burns,
it snarled.

Glow? What was it talking about? Then I
looked down inside myself and saw the shimmering well of my power.
I gave myself a mental head slap. My Fae power hurt it because it
was a demon.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know it burned you. I won’t hurt
you anymore.

The Mori appeared to understand, and it
relaxed but did not move closer. It studied me quietly as if it was
trying to figure out why I was talking to it all of a sudden.

Nikolas says we –

Solmi!
the Mori cried, and a wave of emotions
blasted me and left me gasping. I was dimly aware of someone
speaking to me, and it took me a few seconds to recognize Nikolas’s
voice. I opened my eyes and looked into his worried ones.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I replied, trying to focus on him and
watch the demon at the same time. “This is so weird and kind of
intense.”

“I imagine it is. I think that’s enough for
now.”

“But I just started.”

His eyebrows lifted a fraction. “You’ve been
at it for over an hour.”

Disbelief rippled through me. “I have?”

“Yes, and you don’t want to overdue it.”

“Okay.” I closed my eyes and looked at the
demon that had not moved.
I hate to do this when we are just getting to know each
other, but I have to put you back now.

Back?
it asked, and I felt its fear and sadness.

For now.
I actually felt guilty about forcing it
back, but I was not ready to have a demon running free in my head.
I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for that.

The Mori surprised me by retreating of its
own accord back into its prison, but its anger and pain touched me
even after the wall went back up. I opened my eyes and was shocked
to find them welling with tears.

“Sara?”

I pulled away from Nikolas and wiped my eyes
with my sleeve. “I’m fine. It was just . . . not what I
expected.”

“What happened?”

“We talked a little. Well, I did most of the
talking.” I stood and walked to the water’s edge, too full of
nervous energy to sit. Nikolas was still sitting when I turned to
face him again. “I can’t describe it. What is it like for you?”

“I feel my Mori’s thoughts, but they are
almost like my own thoughts. I don’t talk to it like I would to
another person.”

“Oh.” I felt a little deflated at his answer.
Why did everything have to be so different for me? Why couldn’t I
be like everyone else for once?

“Don’t do that.” His voice was firm as he
walked to where I stood. “You’ve made great progress, considering
your fear when we started.”

“I know. It’s just . . . never mind.”

“Tell me,” he ordered gently.

I picked up some small stones and started
tossing them into the lake so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Nothing about me is normal. I’m probably the only one of my kind
in existence, and I don’t fit in here like the other trainees. I
can’t fight, and I hate killing. What kind of warrior doesn’t like
killing? I don’t even connect with my Mori the way the rest of you
do.”

He took one of the stones from my hand and
sent it skipping far across the surface of the lake. “Your Fae
blood does make you different, but that doesn’t mean you are not as
much a Mohiri as the rest of us. And there is nothing wrong with
not wanting to kill.”

“My Mori is afraid of me. I bet you don’t
have to worry about that with yours.”

Nikolas shook his head. “No, and that will
change for you once you and your Mori learn to join. Trust me; all
it wants is to be one with you. Without that, it has no
purpose.”

“It said my power burns it. I promised not to
hurt it again, but what if my Fae power keeps getting stronger?

My question took him off guard, and he stared
at me for several seconds. “
Is
your power getting stronger?”

“Yes.” I told him about the strange bursts of
power I’d been experiencing and the coldness I’d felt in my chest
twice. His eyes widened when I explained what I’d done to the
bazerats and the lamprey demon, and he was silent for a good minute
after I finished talking.

“Have you told anyone else about this?”

“Only Tristan and Roland.”

He nodded. “Good. Keep it between us for now
and let me know if it happens again.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Fear crept
into my voice. “Will my Fae power hurt my Mori? Could I hurt
another Mohiri?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” he said
uncertainly, and my anxiety grew. “The way I see it, you’ve had the
two of them inside you your whole life and if you were going to
hurt your Mori, you would have done it by now. Did you feel like
your demon was in danger when you had these flare-ups?”

I thought about it and realized I hadn’t felt
any fear or pain from my Mori either time. “No.”

“There’s your answer then.” He gave me a
reassuring smile. “Let’s not worry about that unless we need
to.”

His confidence eased my fears, and I took a
deep breath to relax. “What now?”

A gleam entered his eyes. “Now we do some
other training.”

“What kind of training?” I gave him a wary
look as he pulled off his sword and thin sweater and tossed them on
the rock he’d been sitting on. I got a good view of a ripped
stomach before he tugged his black T-shirt down past the waistband
of his jeans. Heat unfurled in my stomach and I looked away quickly
before he caught me staring.

“Nothing difficult,” he said, showing no sign
he noticed my pink cheeks. “How about we go for a run?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.
“You expect me to keep up with you?” I was a good runner, but
Nikolas was as fast as a vampire.

A corner of his mouth lifted. “I’ll try to
dial it back a bit.”

“Gee, I feel so special,” I retorted and
began to stretch my legs. “How long will it take me to be as fast
as you?”

“About a hundred years or so.”

I straightened and stared at him. “A hundred
years?”

“Give or take a few. Your Mori will give you
strength, but it’ll be a long time before you develop that kind of
speed. Didn’t anyone explain that to you?”

I shook my head, trying to figure out if he
was kidding me. “I think Callum was too busy trying to get me to
use my Mori to go over that stuff. But what you’re saying doesn’t
make sense. How can warriors fight vampires if they can’t keep up
with them?”

Nikolas crossed his arms looking displeased.
“Apparently there is a lot they haven’t told you. How much do you
know about vampires and how they are made?”

“I know a vampire drinks from someone and
forces the person to drink their blood and that’s how the demon is
passed into the new host. It takes three or four days for the new
demon to grow strong enough to take control of the person. Oh, and
only mature vampires can make another vampire.”

He nodded. “That’s all true, but did you also
know that new vampires are weak and their strength grows over time.
They are stronger than a human, but no match for a trained warrior,
and it takes them almost as long as it does us to develop the kind
of speed you’ve seen. Most of the vampires we saw in Maine were
mature, and it’s unusual to see that many mature vampires together.
Many of the vampires warriors deal with don’t have that kind of
strength or speed.”

“I knew baby vamps were weak, but I thought
that only lasted a few months.” His explanation surprised me, but
it also filled me with a sense of relief to learn not every vampire
was as fast or as strong as Eli had been. It was another reminder
of the holes in my education and how much I had to catch up on.

“We’re going to need to add some studies to
your training,” he said as if he’d read my mind. “We’ll start this
afternoon.”

Oh yay. All day training with Nikolas.

“But right now, how about that run?”

Part of me was still mad at him for taking
off the way he had, but the thought of running free through the
trees again like I used to at home was too tempting to resist. And
it was hard to stay angry after he’d been so supportive in
training. “Okay.”

“Follow me.”

We set off around the lake, and it wasn’t
until we were at the halfway point that I realized the lake was
bigger than it looked. There was no trail so I had to dodge rocks
and jump over fallen trees, but that hardly took away from the
pleasure of just running. True to his word, Nikolas slowed down so
I could keep a few feet behind him, and unlike me, he showed no
signs of tiring by the time we got back to our starting point.

I didn’t say much on the walk back to the
stronghold, and Nikolas seemed content to leave me to my thoughts.
I felt different, changed somehow from the experience with my Mori.
I had never really thought of my Mori as a sentient being with
thoughts and emotions, but after today, I could never think of it
as the beast again, either. I knew it was still a demon with demon
urges, but it was also a part of me.

“Get some lunch and rest for a bit,” Nikolas
said as he opened the door for me and I entered the main hall ahead
of him. “We’ll meet up again at two.”

“Okay.”

“Here. This is to replace the knife you
lost.” He unclipped the sheath on his hip and passed it to me. I
pulled the knife free and saw that it looked identical to the last
one he’d given me.

I slipped it in the pocket of my hoodie,
touched by the gift.

“You did great today.”

“Thanks,” I turned away before he could see
me flush with pleasure at the unexpected praise.

Shouting and pounding feet interrupted us,
and we both turned as Mark came tearing around a corner. “Shut the
door! Shut the door before they get out!”

“What the – ?” I uttered before a small white
object whipped past Mark’s head. Nikolas slammed the door shut
before the creature reached us, and it veered away sharply to
spiral upward toward the massive chandelier hanging from the arched
ceiling.

“What is it?” I asked as I tried to follow
the creature with my eyes.

“Goddamn kark eggs hatched while we were . .
. ” Mark’s voice was drowned out by squeaks and flapping wings, and
my eyes went wide as hundreds of the tiny creatures zoomed around
the corner and headed straight for us.

NIKOLAS REACHED FOR me and drew me behind
him. As soon as the karks saw that there was no way out, they
swerved away from us and began to zoom frantically around the hall,
looking for another means of escape. By the time Sahir, Jordan, and
Olivia showed up, followed by Terrence and Josh, there were karks
everywhere. The small white bodies careened up the large curved
staircase, through open doorways and down every hallway, swerving
around people with amazing agility and speed.

“Don’t hurt them!” yelled Sahir, grabbing
Josh’s arm to stop him from swiping at the creatures with a long
thin sword. Sahir need not have worried. The karks were so tiny and
fast that they were almost impossible to hit.

“Do you realize how long it takes to breed
karks?” Sahir ducked as one of the creatures shot toward him. “We
can’t kill them.”

“What the hell are we supposed to do with
them?” Josh yelled back.

“We have to round them up somehow.”

I looked at the mass of white bodies whipping
around us and shook my head. I couldn’t see how on earth anyone was
going to catch these things. Pulling away from Nikolas, I ran over
to Sahir. “How do you catch them?”

“Normally you’d use a spray made from scarab
demon pheromone. Karks can’t resist it. Unfortunately, this batch
was not supposed to hatch yet and I didn’t see a bottle of spray in
the crates.”