Relative Happiness (5 page)

“Adrian, if you want to call her, please do.”

“Thanks, that's okay. I write to her. Don't worry, I do call her occasionally, mostly to find out where they'll be next.”

Lexie continued to knit. “I can't imagine my mother not phoning me.”

“She loves you.”

“Of course she loves me, I just wish she wouldn't suffocate me. That's another thing about life in a small town. Your relatives are always in your face.” She knit another row. “She wants me to get married. What is it with mothers? Does yours bug you about that?”

“Not really. She thinks I'll always wander, but that's not true. I haven't found home yet, that's all. This island is as close as I've come.”

What did he mean? She didn't look at him. It was too hard. She kept knitting, then the phone rang and for once she was glad of the distraction.

Adrian brought home an answering machine. Why hadn't she thought of that?

“Hi there. Sophie refuses to answer the phone and I can't right now, so you're out of luck. Beep.”

“Lexie darling, it's your mother. Call me back please, and for heaven's sake change that message.”

Again.

“Lexie, it's Mom. Are you there? Call me as soon as you get in.”

Again.

“Lexie, pick up this phone. I know you're there.”

Again.

“Lexie, I have cancer.”

Lexie called her back.

“Hi Mom.”

“Dearest, why do I have to resort to some awful disease to get you to call me?

“Sorry.”

“I'll forgive you.”

“I knew you would.”

“I'm having a little dinner party.”

Her mother threw wonderful parties. “Didn't you just have one?” Lexie filled in the word for eagle's nest in her crossword puzzle but the pencil made a hole through the newspaper, so she biffed it. She picked up a book of poetry by Leonard Cohen instead.

“This is just family. Gabby called me the other day, and from what I can gather, Richard's about to pop the question. I think a celebration's in order.”

She thumbed through her book. “Gabby's had questions popped at her a hundred times. She must be pooped from all that popping.”

“You should be happy for her.”

“I am, Mother. I'm delighted. It's the poor buggers who do the asking I feel sorry for. She'll throw this one away too.”

“You have a cynical streak, darling, did you know that?”

“Along with my jealous streak, wild streak, and funny streak.”

“Lexie. Knock it off. By the way, feel free to bring along your roommate. That weird friend of yours or whatever he is. Is he something more?”

“No, mother, he's just my weird friend. Would you like me to make something?”

She waited for it.

“Be a dear and bring something low cal for dessert. None of us needs the extra calories.”

“Adrian, I forgot to tell you. Mom's having a dinner party at some point and you've been invited. Apparently we have to have a boo at Gabby's new man.”

Adrian had a dust cloth in his hand. It was his day to do the chores. “Are we happy about this?”

“Well, I have to introduce you to my family at some point. Mom's dying to meet you. She told me to bring my weird friend, so that would be you.”

“Your mother has a way with words.”

“She was an English teacher.”

He gave her a big grin. “Oh God. I ain't goin' then. I got no manners.”

He always made her feel better. She loved him. She thought he loved her, in a big sister sort of way.

She hated her life, so she took it out on Donalda, who happened to call with some inane question, just to snoop of course.

“Should I wear blue or red for the last scene?”

“What possible difference does it make? You're rolled up in a rug. You're dead.”

“Lexie, you of all people know an actor has to stay in character. But you've been so busy with your precious Adrian you don't pay attention to us anymore.”

“He's not ‘my' Adrian and I resent that. I do pay attention to you guys.”

“You lord it over everyone because Adrian stays with you. You pretend it's something more but everyone knows it's a financial arrangement.”

“You know what, Donalda? You'll never know. And I won't tell you because it's none of your bloody business. Come to think of it, you better wear blue. When I stab you in the last scene, I want to see lots of blood.”

Lexie hung up.

Susan would call to ask about him, hoping he'd answer the phone.

“Gee, Lex. It seems pretty strange that the only thing he does is walk along the shore. What do you think he's doing?”

Lexie grumped, “Who knows? Beth said the same thing.”

Well, she didn't say
exactly
the same thing.

Lexie sat on the toilet seat and bit her nails as Beth scrubbed the tub and delivered her thoughts on the subject.

“For the love of God, Lexie, why doesn't he get off his ass and get a job? He's a freeloader. He'll suck you dry if you're not careful. Don't you read Anne Landers? Columns are full of stupid women who wonder if some guy's taken advantage of them and the answer is always ‘duh.'”

“You don't know him. He's very sweet.”

“They're always sweet.” Beth's rear end moved to the rhythm of her scrubbing. She finally sat back on her haunches, and wiped the hair out of her face.

“Lexie, listen to me. A stranger walked into your life—what, six weeks ago? He lives in your house with no job, no family, and no friends. You know nothing about him. He doesn't tell you anything. You're not a dumb broad Lexie, so don't act like one.” She turned back to the tub.

“I think he needs help. I think he's in some kind of trouble.”

“Wonderful. He's lazy and crazy.”

“Beth, don't be mean. I'm serious. I asked him the other day what his favourite memory was and he said the best memories are the ones you can't remember. Isn't that scary?”

Beth threw her sponge. “Yes, that is scary, you blithering idiot. And I'll tell you why. That means he's running from something. And for all you know, it might be the law. And if that's the case then you'll be an accessory after the fact, for keeping him hidden.”

“Oh, don't be so dramatic.”

Her sister got to her feet. “Fine. When I find you dead in your bed one night, don't say I didn't warn you.”

Beth's words stuck in Lexie's craw. She knew Beth was right, but it ticked her off anyway and her need to defend Adrian was troubling. There was nothing for it. She was going to ask Adrian point blank if he was in trouble.

She didn't have to wait long for an opportunity to do so.

The next day was a Saturday. Lexie was curled up in her chair with a huge mug of coffee, reading a new P. D. James novel, when she heard Adrian come down the stairs.

“I'm off for a walk, Lexie. I'll be back later.”

Now the last thing she wanted to do was to haul her bum out of her comfy spot, but this was a chance to tag along.

She threw her book aside and hurried into the hall. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all. I'll wait.”

She dressed quickly and joined him outside. She realized it wasn't the best day to accompany him. The wind, which blew from the northeast and was biting cold, whipped her hair and made her eyes water.

They walked in silence to Dominion Beach. When they reached the sand, Lexie stopped and looked around while Adrian continued down to the shoreline. She saw him pick up a flat rock and fling it sideways into the waves. It skipped twice before it disappeared. He didn't throw any more.

She took a deep breath of clean, fishy air. She could taste the salt on her tongue. The beach was covered with reddish brown seaweed, thanks to the churning ocean. It was mucky to walk through and her boots sank into the sand as she squelched her way over to Adrian. She stood beside him as he looked out over the water.

“For some reason the ocean always looks more menacing in the winter, more powerful,” she mused. “Like it's going to jump right out of the depths and swallow you whole.”

He nodded.

“I'm afraid of tidal waves. Which is kind of strange, since I love living beside the ocean. Sort of Freudian.”

He nodded again.

She was getting nowhere fast. She cleared her throat.

“Do you like the ocean? You seem to spend a lot of time here.”

“I do.”

She pointed out over the water. “It's hard to imagine England is on the other side of this great divide.”

“I'd visit relatives in Cape Town and walk on the beaches there. It feels funny to be here, on the other side of the Atlantic.”

“Imagine that. Maybe you looked over the ocean towards us, and I looked over the water towards you. Maybe the breeze that crossed your beach was the same one I felt at sunrise.” She smiled. “How wonderful to imagine it. We think the world is big, but it's not. Not really.”

Adrian looked at the sand. “The world isn't big enough. It's difficult to hide in.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean no matter how big the physical world is, your life is still lived inside your head. You take it everywhere. You can never get away.”

“What do you want to get away from, Adrian?”

He turned away and said something, but she couldn't hear him.

“Sorry?”

He faced her and shook his head. “Don't listen to me.”

He walked away then and she wondered if she should follow. She got the feeling she was interfering somehow, but she started after him. Struggling to catch up, she shouted behind his back. “What's it like? Africa, I mean?”

Adrian stopped and looked at the sky. Wispy clouds rushed past them, as they headed out beyond the coast.

“The light's different. The sky goes on forever.”

“Do you miss it?”

He turned around and grabbed her arm. “Let's go home.”

Lexie carried a laundry basket down the back steps and into the yard behind the house. She crunched through the snow to get to the clothesline. As she picked up her clean sheets she realized she'd forgotten her gloves. Darn. She couldn't be bothered going back for them so she shook her sheets out and hung them up anyway.

Beth always told her she was nuts for hanging out sheets in the middle of winter, but she liked the crisp air to blow through them. The clean smell was wonderful and Lexie considered it a luxury that was free for the taking. It seemed such a shame to ignore nature's small gift.

Before too long, her fingertips were red with cold. She cupped her hands together and blew before she put them under her armpits and jumped around. That's when she noticed Adrian, framed in the kitchen window like a painting. She gave him a wave.

He couldn't have seen her. In spite of the cold, she bent down and made a snowball, intending to throw it at the pane of glass but when her eyes travelled back to him, the snowball fell from her fingers.

His face was ravished.

She knew in her heart that this was the real Adrian.

The very next day, after work, Lexie shouted up the stairs. “Ade, do you have anything you want washed?”

“Yeah, just a minute.” He appeared at the top of the stairs with an armful of stuff.

“Here, catch.” A whole cascade of dark clothes landed on her head.

“You big jerk. Just for that, you can wash and dry the dishes tonight.”

“Oh, no!” He clutched his heart with his fist and staggered back to his room.

She started to sort the wash, going through the pockets of his jeans. There was a small piece of paper, folded in quarters. It was soft, old, worn around the edges. She was about to put it on the counter when she was interrupted.

“WAIT!” Adrian commanded from upstairs. It startled her. She heard him rush down the stairs before he burst into the kitchen. “I left something in my—” He saw her holding it in her hand.

“I didn't open it.”

He reached over and took it from her. “That's okay. Thanks.”

He kind of backed out of the room.

Lexie met Susan at the coffee shop on her lunch hour two days later. The minute Susie sat down, Lexie told her what happened.

“You're kidding?” Susie's mouth was full of ham and Swiss cheese. It was right up her alley, an intrigue she could sink her teeth into. She swallowed, and wiped her mouth on her napkin. “Maybe he's an international spy or something?”

“Oh, good God, what in heaven's name would he be doing in Glace Bay, if he's an international spy?”