Release, book 3 of The Angler series (16 page)

A heavy curtain of humidity hung in the night air over the rooftop garden. After realizing Rurik was falling apart and no amount of wishing would put him back together again, he suggested we move to the garden. He’d been trapped indoors for days and wanted to look at the sea one last time. Catarina remained inside, incapable of finding the courage to console him. Rurik sheltered under the patio roof from the scattered raindrops falling from the sky. He stared at the water. Nothing major had fallen from his body yet. All his digits were accounted for, but his skin had grown dry and cracked and the tips of his ears had turned black—this had happened within an hour since he’d awoken.

I sat in a chair with my knees drawn to my chest. A dog howled out of tune in the distance
, sending a chill down my spine. “You should lie down.”

“I miss
ed the scent of saltwater.” Rurik had his back to me but I could tell by the set of his shoulders that nothing would make him leave until he was ready. He’d grown up in a fishing village by Budapest and after all these years, the sea still called to him.

Tane sat in a dark corner
, unmoving as the brick building behind him. He hadn’t spoken since Rurik had led us here. A statue showed more signs of life. What was he thinking so hard about? We’d reached a dead end. Literally.

Rurik’s shoulders sagged. I would hug him but feared something might break
off. He grew more fragile every minute. “When this is over…” Rurik faced us. “I want you to scatter my remains over the water.”

My heart beat out of time. I couldn’t meet his pleading stare and focused on his chest instead. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t allowed to die first.

“Any particular body of water?” Tane asked.

“Tane!” I curled tighter into a ball as if chilled by a winter wind instead of sweating in a Venice summer heat wave. Walls of all sorts were slamming into place around my thoughts. I hadn’t wanted to speak with Laurent about funeral arrangements either.

Rurik kneeled jarringly in front of me. “I’m dying, Connie. I feel the rot deep within my bones.” He grasped my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. “
Do
this for me. Promise.”

The dry flesh on his fingers scratched my skin when we touched. He felt made of parchment paper.
“I promise.” Such simple words, but the voice speaking them came out so soft and vulnerable I almost didn’t recognize it as my own. “Cross my heart.”

He ran his thumb over my pouting lip. “That’s my girl.” He turned his attention to Tane. “This lagoon is fine. Once I’m dead
, will your clan be satisfied?”

Tane’s shadowed head nodded. “It’s all they asked of me.”

“Good.”

I rested my
chin on my knees. Somewhere inside, I owned strength. It gave me the balls to face and kill vampires a hundred times stronger. But when I needed it the most, it vanished. Or was it linked to something else than myself? All those times I’d fought, it had been for or with Rurik. Without him, I was nothing but a frightened woman, vampire bait for slayers to use for their own gains. I didn’t want to be that person again.

“We should make contact with Damius.” Rurik sat in the chair between us. “My ashes.” He stared at his hands and watched as a fingernail slid off the tip.
“Shit!” He tried to catch it but his nail turned to dust upon contact. “Or whatever is left of my fucking body won’t satisfy everyone that I have truly died. Damius should witness this freak show.” He wiggled his fingers, and another nail fell off. “You can’t afford any doubts.”

“Doubts? Who gives a shit what they think?
” I punched the cushion on my seat. “Those assholes had us running scared for days, and
they
win.
They
get what they want.” Rurik dead. I grasped at the shreds of calm and weaved them together. Biting the inside of my lip, I stopped them from trembling. Rurik’s last memory wouldn’t be of me losing my composure. I crossed my arms over my chest and met both of their wide-eyed stares.

Tane
rose from his chair and strode to the edge of the roof. “There are no winners. No matter what they demanded, it wouldn’t have changed Rurik’s outcome.” A thick veil still surrounded his mind, and I couldn’t guess what he was thinking or feeling while he wore his ancient-vampire-of-the-night mask.

Sighing, Rurik shook his head as if exasperated. “Tane’s reputation is marred by this, Connie. He
has
to save face or there will be assassins around every corner, waiting for either of you. Trying to save me will be seen as a weakness, and the vampire nation will not follow a weak king.”

“It always comes back to p
olitics. Why would they see love as a weakness?”

Tane spoke quietly.
“I defied my brothers. I rule because most of my clan supports me and my ideals. After this, I may have lost that support.” Vampires succeeded the throne by killing the existing king. Tane always wore a bull’s eye on his back, and Rurik had worked twenty-four seven as a political liaison to keep him as safe as possible. Even now, as he was dying, he worked to save Tane.

“We’re already fucked. Why have Damius come here to gloat?”

“To prove to them that Tane hadn’t defied them. That in his own way, he killed me.”

“So we’re being honest?”

Rurik gave me a small smile. “With flair.” Even on death’s door, he was trying to save us. God, how much time did he have? One, maybe two nights? I didn’t want to wake up knowing he wouldn’t be there to place a smile on my face. I felt so hollow inside as if all my emotions were dammed behind a wall of fear. When that blockade broke I would drown.

“You have to make sure
Tane stays in power.” Rurik brushed his fingers over mine and drew me back into reality. I feared touching him because I didn’t want to hurry the process by accidently snapping something off. “He’s the best protection your people have.” How could he care when pieces of his body were falling off?

“I—I’ll do my best.” Ru
rik wanted me to take his place? Might as well hit the self-destruct button now. Something tingled in the back of my mind that had me turning toward Tane. Power suddenly washed over me like a tsunami. I clung to my chair. Who was I? Why am I sitting in a garden? What sort creature was sitting across from me?

“What’s wrong?” Concern laced
the creature’s voice as it reached toward me.

I flinched at its touch. “My head hurts.”

“Connie?”

I blinked. Yes, that was my name. The pressure inside my head eased. I rubbed my temples and stared at the male with a skin condition. Rurik…
Oh God, my head spun, but at least it stopped pounding. Venice. I was in Venice at Catarina’s home. “Tane’s flexing his mental muscles.” I squeezed my eyes shut to block my dizzy spell. He must have released the veil hiding him. “Can you give a girl a warning?” Whatever he’d done had crashed my mental shields. I slowly began the process to rebuild them.

“Damius is not within the city anymore.” Tane twisted toward us.
“Sorry, Connie. I lost control for a moment while searching for my brothers.” He masked his outward pain so well, but that slip spoke volume on how much he was hurting. The garden faded, and we sat in Tane’s office in our Rio home.

My heart wrenched at the
familiar safe space. I shrank even deeper in my chair. It wasn’t real. We were in Tane’s head within his memory of his office. We weren’t
really
home. Tane shouldn’t dangle one of my greatest desires in front of me. I bit back a sob. Who wouldn’t want to be home at time like this? Not when my fragile heart was so close to shattering like Rurik’s fang.

Damius appeared within the room.
“You summoned me.” His presence sucked my sense of security away and sobered my melancholy.

I gave Rurik, who sat next to me, a questioning look. Tane had pulled me inside his mind before. I hadn
’t realized he could host other people at the same time. This required more power than I could imagine.

Tane sat across from us at his desk, business as usual. He leaned forward. “
I thought meeting here would expedite things considering time is of essence.” He seem to aim this comment at me. His gaze moved to Damius. “Rurik requested that you witness his death.”

Damius
faced my sick lover and didn’t disguise his disgust.

In the lit office, Rurik’s skin appeared tissue
-paper thin, and blue veins spider-webbed his flesh.

Tane rubbed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “It’s no secret I share my blood slave with Rurik. She partakes in feeding from me more frequently than is necessary.” He frowned and met Damius’
s glance. “Rurik has been drinking from her almost exclusively for the last year. Enough of my blood must have entered his system to trigger a slow transformation.”

Damius gave Rurik a thoughtful glance. “He’s become Nosferatu. That seemed obvious in Monte Carlo—”

“It’s killing me
,” Rurik interrupted. “Changing like this wasn’t meant to be. My body is disintegrating as we speak.” He turned his head so we could see where part of his ear was missing.

Narrowing his gaze, Damius confronted Tane. “
You shouldn’t have hidden this from us.”

“Two days.
We’ve only known for two days. Before we had thought it was poison or a disease. We didn’t do this on purpose,” I answered. “None of us knew why Rurik changed. When you gave the order to kill him, I panicked and helped him escape Monte Carlo. Tane didn’t know my plans.” We needed to show a solid front. Damius had to believe Tane had nothing to do with our running or Rurik’s transformation.

Tane waved his hand. “I will inform our brothers of this development so such a thing can be avoided in the future.”

Damius nodded thoughtfully. “It is unfortunate for you, Rurik, that your end draws near but good for Tane that the transformation did not take. It is one of our worst crimes. Bad enough we need to deal with the whelp in New York.”

Tane’s frown grew deeper.
“Mutt will do well. We needed fresh ideas and younger blood in our clan.” Tane leaned back in his chair, his hands folded across his stomach. “You agreed to his change, Damius.”

“I didn’t agree to be one of his teachers.” He leveled his gaze to meet Tane’s. “I will come stand witness to Rurik’s death for our brothers.” He faded from the room just as quickly as he’d arrived.

Mutt? A new brother in New York City? Tane hadn’t mentioned anything until tonight. Gwen and Colby were in the city as well. Had they met? I couldn’t imagine that going very well.

For a moment, I’
d almost forgotten we weren’t home and blinked at the empty spot where Damius had been standing. “That’s it?”

Tane snorted. “Not likely, but for now, yes. At some point, my brothers will make me pay for this.”

“It’s not your fault.” Those jerks had better wait until I was cold and in the ground before placing blame on him.

“I’m king. Everything is my fault.”

The room wavered and my stomach tried to turn inside out. Catarina’s garden returned around me. I hadn’t really left but mentally it was jarring. Normally, I did this stuff in my sleep where my brain accepted the unnatural with ease. It was the closest thing to an out of body experience that I had suffered. I moaned and rubbed my empty stomach as the wave of nausea grew stronger.

Tane rubbed my back.
“This will be over by tomorrow.”
He didn’t mean my motion sickness. He meant Rurik.
“We will stay with him as much as possible.”

I leaned against his solid shoulder
and nodded, unable to speak for a sore throat.

“I’ll take you home after and take care of you, if you let me.”

I nodded again.
“That would be nice. I’ll take care of you too.”

He gave me a chaste kiss and helped me back into my chair.

Someone cleared their throat, and the three of us turned to see Catarina in the entrance. “Your shifter is in the foyer. He wishes to speak with you.”

Tane rose. “Why didn’t you send him here?”
Where had Kam been all this time?

She frowned. “You might tolerate shifters in your home, but this is my house.”

Tane snarled. “Mind yourself, Catarina. I am still
your king and my patience has worn thin.” He pushed past her, almost knocking her to the ground.

“You may break my body and call it justice,
Master Tane
, but everything you touch wastes away.” She pointed at Rurik. “I made him. He’s
my
child, and look at what you’ve done.”

“Catarina!” Rurik slapped his hand against the arm of the chair and his hand cracked, falling into pieces on the ground.

Her hands fluttered to cover her mouth.

I jumped to my feet. “Are you okay?” Of course he wasn’t
, but the stupid question popped out anyway. Blood didn’t pump out the broken end like I’d expected.

Rurik examined the dry stump
with a weary smile. “It doesn’t hurt. That’s a small blessing.”

I sank back onto my seat and stared at Tane.
What were we supposed to do? Rurik took this all so calmly. No matter how much I wanted to freak out, I had to keep it together.

Tane looked away, his features hard with grief, then
he exited the gardens.

Catarina collapsed at Rurik’s feet and touched a piece of his hand on the ground. It disintegrated to ash. “It’s like the sun is burning you away from the inside.”

“Except it doesn’t burn.” Rurik stared at her bent head. They’d been lovers once. She obviously loved him in her own way. I couldn’t tell what he felt though.

“Catarina.” He said her name softly like he sometim
es said mine. It was a dagger in my chest. “Don’t antagonize Tane. For your sake and your nest’s.”

“He took you from me.”

“You were well compensated for making me a vampire, and I left willingly. No one took me from anyone.” He sighed and risked brushing his remaining fingertips over her hair. “I came back of my own free will afterwards though.”

“Dragos would have killed you if you
had stayed in his court.” She spat the words out.

“Yes, and I could have gone anywhere I wanted
, but I returned to you.”

She sobbed once
, still refusing to look at him. “Yet you still left me again.”

“People change, Catarina. Vampires should change too, but you remained stuck. I couldn’t continue living in the past while the world evolved around us.” He searched the horizon of rooftops. “This city suits you. It
, too, is stuck. For all it’s worth, I’m sorry for hurting you. That wasn’t my intention.”

Catarina picked at her dress and glanced at me under heavy eyelashes. “There is still a way we might be able to save you.”

She jerked the world from under my feet with that reminder. I leaned forward, speaking close to her face. “I won’t let you kill Tane.”

“Silly human, he doesn’t allow any of us to get close enough to hurt him, but he does let his guard down around you.”

“You think
I
would do it?” I rolled my eyes. I had just promised Rurik I’d keep Tane safe. Even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t kill him. God, she had a one-track mind and couldn’t take
no
for an answer.

“What are you both arguing about?” The edge in Rurik’s voice brooked no defiance. He could command a room on words alone if he wanted.

“Catarina thinks if we kill Tane, you will revert to your regular vampire self.”

“
Until the transformation is complete, it might be possible.” She made a face at me. “I have heard of this happening. When a fledgling’s master is killed before the transformation is done, then they revert back to human.”

Rurik snorted. “I’ve heard these s
tories. Most of those humans died from the shock and if you hadn’t noticed, I haven’t been human for a very long time.”

“The process could work.” Catarina stood
and brushed ash from her dress. Her fingers slowed as she stared at Rurik’s remains clinging to the material and she stopped touching her clothes.

I approached Catarina. “The operative word here is
could
. We really don’t know what would happen.”

Rurik leaned forward.
“And you’re both forgetting the most important thing. Connie’s life is tied to Tane. If he dies, so does she.”

Catarina huffed. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t have a way to save your precious human pet.”

I already knew what she was going to say. I stomped my foot. “No.”

“If I made her vampire
, her link to Tane would break. She’d be released from her bond.”

Rurik grimaced and shook his head in disgust. “You’ve actually discussed this before now?”

“Catarina approached me with the idea before Tane gave you his blood.” Guilt twisted my insides until it grew harder to breathe. “I said no.” I turned, unable to face him anymore. Nobody
wanted
to die and sometimes we made rash choices when faced with the grim reaper.

“By doing nothing
, you are choosing Tane’s life over Rurik. Don’t let yourself believe any different.”

“Enough
, Catarina!” Rurik climbed to his feet with some effort. “No harm is to come to either of them. If you attempt this crazy plan and it works, I will spend my eternity making you regret it.” He shook with the strain of his anger.

Tears spilled from Catarina’s eyes and she raced from the gardens in a flounce of fabric and hair.

Rurik’s legs gave out and he sank to the ground.

I hurried to his side. “I would have told you
, but it was such a crazy idea.”

He leaned
on me. “I’d never place you in such a position.” Cupping my chin, he made me meet his crystal-clear stare. The rest of his body grew dry and cracked, but not his eyes. “If I wanted you to become vampire, I would have asked long ago. I love you as you are, Connie. You’re my sunshine girl. Never forget that.”

I chewed my inner cheek until I tasted blood
to keep from crying.

“I’m growing weaker. It’s time to return inside before someone is forced to carry me.”

“Kam or Tane can do it.”

He chuckled. “I fear I might explode in a cloud of dust if they squeezed me the wrong way.” The horror must have shown on my face because he gave me a sad reassuring smile. “Just help me walk to the bedroom.”

I rested my shoulder under his arm and let him lean against me. He seemed lighter, as if hollow instead of made of flesh and bone.

Slowly, we descended to the second floor returning to the room he and Tane had shared. I wish the three of us could be together one
last time. I helped him lay on the bed and crawled in next to him.

He held out his arms, one of them handless.

“Are you sure?” I eyed his body.

“Nothing you do will prevent my body from crumbling
. Don’t stop me from holding you a last time.”

I
held my breath as I slid into the crook of his arms and gently rested my head on his shoulders. “I don’t want you to die.” Now that I spoke my worst fear, it sounded so shallow compared to the raw, dark ache growing inside of me, but I couldn’t find the right words to express this pain. I wanted to pour it out onto the bed so he could understand the misery his death would cause. He was so loved and would be missed more than he could ever imagine.

He t
ightened his hold on me. “I hate that I’m hurting you again, Connie.”

The muscle
s in my throat constricted. Rurik referred to my first husband’s death. I’d been huddled on a death bed with the man I loved before. The deep scars his passing had left on me had driven me to a life of reckless abandon.

That drive led me to become vampire bait for slayers and to be sent after a certain sexy Hungarian blood
-sucker. I’d be lying if I said the lure of an immortal lover didn’t draw me, someone who couldn’t grow old or sick. I never imagined I’d be in this position again. My heart shrank. “It’s not fair. I’m supposed to be the one who dies first for once.” The ache in my chest grew hotter. “Everyone I love dies and leaves me alone.” It sounded so selfish but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true.

“I’m so sorry,
rabbit.”

I gulped air and twisted to face him. “No, no, don’t be. That’s not what I want. I—I just want you to know t
h—that I’ll miss you so much.”

The cracks wide
ned on the dam I’d built around my soul to protect my sanity over the last few days. Piece by piece it fell apart until like a stack of cards, it all tumbled and let all my crazy out. I pressed my face against his chest and sobbed. “Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me.”

He hugged me so hard it felt like his regular strength had returned. His chest heaved as if he struggled for breath.

I looked up.

Tears streamed along his chiseled face.
“You
saved
me.” He pressed his lips to mine for a tender kiss. “Don’t ever forget that. No matter how hard things get.”

I tried to speak with lungs that refused to work. “I love you. What am I supposed to do?”

“Tane loves you, too.”

I sobbed even harder. “He doesn’t understand me like you do
. I’m just an ant in his shadow.”

“Shhh.” He guided my head back on his shoulder and rocked me. I was awful. Our roles should have been reversed with me comforting him
, but I’d been through what would happen next and knew the horror that awaited me once he left his body. He’d move on to a better place and leave me to pick up the pieces. How often could a person gather the shards of her soul and mend them before she started not to look human anymore? I’d lost so many people in my life, I doubted those pieces could be placed together again. I hadn’t the strength or the will. Missing him was worse than dying. At least the dead’s pain ended. Mine would go on day and night until I might
feel
like I was dying but I never would.

He sniffed. “I can’t
stay.” He stroked my hair. “Have you ever given thought of what it would have been like if we’d both met as humans?”

The pain grew sharper. I couldn’t speak but nodded. Of course I had.
I gripped his shirt as if he hung from a precipice and if I let go he’d fall.

His hand rested on my lower abdomen. “Would you have wanted children?”

I nodded again. Afraid to speak. He’d never told me of his dreams.

“Me too.” I could feel his smile against my hair. “Lots of them.” Silence accompanied my strangled sobs. Some women were beautiful criers. I wasn’t one of them. My eyes got puffy and my nose ran like a fountain. This was Laurent’s last memory of me and apparently it would be Rurik’s as well.

“I could go with you.” The words just fell out.

Rurik went still.

“Do you believe in heaven?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m not sure that’s where vampires go when they die though.” He sat up straighter
, pulling me along by the arm until our faces were close enough to touch. “Don’t.” He gave me a good shake. Blood-tinged tears had dried on his face, giving him a savage appearance. “You. Must. Live.”

My arm ached where he gripped it with his only hand.

“Promise.” He shook me again. “Swear it on your grandma’s soul.”

I took a deep shaky breath and nodded.

“Say it.” He snapped out the order.

“I’m sorry.” I touched his haggard face
, but he jerked away.

“Promise me.”

“I promise on my grandma’s soul.” Like a pin to a balloon, my admission deflated my despair. All that was left was a numb sense of doom. The blankets under us, the heavy drapes hanging over the windows, the silence eating away at our existence were all I could register. I’d shattered inside and I didn’t think a glue existed to fix me. “I’ll be good.”

“Well, I don’t want you to strain yourself.” He
gave me a crooked smile, showing me the gaps in his teeth where he used to have fangs. “Just live for me. If Tane can’t make you happy, find someone new. Get married.” He rested his hand on my stomach. “Have babies. You’d make a fierce mother.”

I laughed
, but it was false. I did it for Rurik because he needed to believe I’d be all right. “I will marry Tane and make him adopt some.” Painting a smile on my face, I eyed the wooden stake on Rurik’s bedside table. I’d been carrying that thing since we debarked from the yacht. Rurik’s blood still stained the tip.

Catarina
loved Rurik enough to kill for him. Did I love him less? Did I have the nerve to love him as much as her?