Release the Stars (8 page)

Charlie remembered now. He needed to prepare, so she probably shouldn’t take up too much of his time. “I… can’t go back there on my own.”

“Of course, you can,” Nick said, impatient. Hangers slid along racks in the background. “It will give you a chance to talk.”

“She hasn’t called you?” Charlie asked again.

“Nope.” Nick sighed. “Look, sweetie, don’t make too big a deal out of this, okay? I know how you are and how you can get lost in your head. From what you’ve told me, Ava likes you. Just be adult about it.” There was some fumbling on the other end of the line, and Charlie thought the connection had been lost until Nick said, “I really have to go. I’ll send a car over. Go now, before you blow things up more in your head.”

“Thanks, Nickie. Charm the pants off the VF lady.”

“You know me, dear,” he said and hung up.

Ten minutes later, a black town car pulled up outside of Charlie’s house. An hour later, they arrived at Ava’s. Charlie asked the driver not to tell Ava she was in the car with him. With a bit of luck, Ava would assume Charlie had sent someone to pick up her car, and she would stay inside her house.

By the time they reached the end of the driveway, her heart pounded relentlessly in her throat. To Charlie’s relief, the front door was closed and all was quiet around her red Mini Cooper. She’d bought it on a whim after first arriving. In New York, Charlie didn’t have a car, but living in LA required a person to have one if she didn’t want to spend half her life waiting for a taxi.

“Thanks,” Charlie said as she climbed out of the car. “No need to wait.” She had to wait for the town car to turn around and drive away before she could leave. She’d only just unlocked her car when a voice sounded behind her.

“Were you really going to sneak off?”

Charlie turned around. Ava wore jeans and a T-shirt and no makeup. In the Saturday morning light, she looked even more stunning than she had under the moon.

“No, no, of course not.” Charlie lied.

“Do you want to come in? Have you had breakfast?”

This was exactly why Charlie asked Nick to come with her. She could hardly run off twice in fewer than twenty-four hours.

“Sure, I’ll come in.” She tried to sound confident.

Once seated at the breakfast bar with a steaming mug of coffee in front of her, Charlie exhaled and tried to launch into an acceptable apology. “Look, Ava, I—”

“Before you say anything, Charlie, I owe you an apology. I came on too strong and overreacted when you didn’t reciprocate my advances. I was a bit crazy last night. I shouldn’t have let you walk out like that. You were clearly upset.”

At hearing this, Charlie was finally able to exhale fully and relax a bit more. She had practiced what she was going to say, repeating the words as if she were auditioning for a movie part—the one of uptight, zero-tolerance lesbian. She was in the right town for it.

“It was my fault entirely. I should have handled it better. I mean, you’re gorgeous. You are also a gracious host, an excellent chef, and a very kind woman. I was thrilled to be invited here again. And I, erm,” Charlie hesitated, “I greatly enjoyed our kiss on the beach.”

“But you have it in your head that I’m straight, and it freaked you out,” Ava said.

Charlie wouldn’t have put it that way, but it was accurate enough. She nodded. She was gearing up to say the words she hated to say, but they needed to be said to make this right. “Jo, my ex, left me for a man, and I’m still sort of recovering from that. Getting off with a straight woman is… not something I can do right now. No matter how gorgeous she is, how big my crush is, or how amazing a kisser she is.” Charlie shook her head. “I just can’t.”

“Why are you so convinced I’m straight?” Ava smiled.

“It doesn’t really matter if you’re straight or bisexual. It’s clear you’re not a lesbian. I can’t… put my heart on the line.”

“Just like that?” For some reason, Ava continued to smile. “I’m dismissed?”

“I understand your skepticism, and I’m very familiar with all the arguments against my reasoning, but I know what I need to do to protect myself from going through what I went through after Jo again. Even though it might cost me greatly.” Charlie was adamant about this, but it didn’t mean her curiosity hadn’t been piqued. “You don’t have to tell me, of course, but, erm, have you ever been in love with a woman before?”

Ava pondered this, gazing over the rim of her cup while doing so. “In love… I’m not sure.” She looked at Charlie. “I had a fling with Sandra, but we never quite managed to fall in love.”

“Sandra? She’s a lesbian?” Charlie hadn’t picked up that vibe at all, and Ava’s publicist hadn’t dropped the slightest of hints.

“Not openly.”

Charlie expelled a sigh. “What I’m looking for in a woman is really very straightforward. Someone out and proud and secure enough in her sexuality to not leave me for a man. Personally, I think my wish list is quite fair, but someone like Nick, for instance, never fails to give me a hard time about it. He claims I’m too rigid with my requirement that a woman be completely lesbian. He thinks I’m afraid and looking for excuses.”

“And already, even after only one kiss, you’re convinced that, if we were to embark on… something, I would leave you for a man in the end?” Ava narrowed her eyes. She didn’t say anything else.

“It’s certainly a possibility.” Charlie looked into the remains of her coffee. “And once it’s in my head, it’s there to stay.” She cut her glance to Ava. “Besides, why would someone like you be interested in someone like me?”

“What do you mean ‘someone like you’?” Ava put her mug down.

“You’re an ex-model. You’re on TV. You could have anyone you wanted, really.”

“But not you.” Ava made it sound like a statement, not a question. “I make my living by how I look, Charlie. I might have picked up some cooking and presenting skills along the way, but if I’m being truly honest, all the success I’ve had in my life is based on my appearance. You, on the other hand, have this amazing mind out of which the most beautiful sentences are born. I find that extremely attractive.” She slid off the stool she was sitting on. “I would like to show you something.”

Charlie followed Ava through the living room and into an adjoining room she hadn’t seen during her previous two visits. The entire space was lined with bookcases, every shelf filled to the brim.

Ava crossed the room to a case near the window. “These are arranged alphabetically. This is where I keep the Cs.” She gestured with her hand to the middle shelf.

Charlie easily recognized the spines with her name printed on them. The heat of a blush crept up her neck.

“I don’t just own these, Charlie. I’ve read every single one of them. And yes, that includes the saucy ones. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a fan.” She pulled a book from the row. “I know it’s not very original, but I already told you
Crying Rivers
is my favorite.”

Charlie stared at the cover of her break-through novel. The one that put her on the map and made Hollywood take notice of her.

“I was going to ask you to sign it for me last night, but well, things turned out slightly differently than expected.”

“Did you expect to kiss me?” Charlie gained confidence from looking at her books—and from Ava’s display of fan-girl admiration.

“Not sure ‘expect’ is the right word, but I’d certainly thought about it.” Ava thumbed through the book. It looked as if it had been read numerous times, with the corners of several pages flipped back. “This is my favorite sentence of them all.” She inhaled, preparing to read out loud, but Charlie stopped her.

“Please. Don’t.”

“Really?” Ava glanced at her. “Okay,” she quickly agreed.

“I’ll sign it for you if you still want me to.”

“I would really appreciate that.”

Ava handed her the book. “Why don’t you take it home? Sign it for me in privacy and bring it back later.”

Charlie accepted it and nodded.

“I would love to get to know you better. This way, we have to see each other again.”

“You still want to be friends?”

“I promise not to throw you off guard with impromptu kisses on the beach.” Ava inched closer but didn’t touch. “Speaking of the beach… Do you want to stay and have a swim?”

The flush that had reached her neck earlier, headed to Charlie’s cheeks. “I don’t have my bathing suit with me.”

“No need for that here.” Ava chuckled. “I’m just kidding. I have all sizes lying around. I’m sure we can find you something.”

Charlie ignored the hesitation brewing in the back of her mind. She’d made it clear to Ava that nothing could happen, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t at least enjoy the view of Ava in a bikini. “Okay. Why not?”

“That’s the spirit.” Ava came closer and gently bumped her shoulder against Charlie’s. “We can always order pizza after.”

A swarm of butterflies took flight in Charlie’s stomach. How long would her mind be able to hold out against this onslaught of emotion and lust.

* * *

“I can set you up with Sandra, if you like,” Ava said. They’d gone for a quick dip in the ocean and now lay on deck chairs overlooking its blue splendor. “Although, I must admit that might make me jealous.”

Charlie felt rather self-conscious in the bathing suit Ava had lent her. It was cut out high above her thighs, and the cups of the bikini top barely kept her breasts in check. She suspected Ava had given her that one on purpose, to make her a little bit uncomfortable—and perhaps to get a good look at what lay beneath Charlie’s clothes. Ava’s bikini was bright red and Charlie had a lot of trouble keeping herself from staring.

“Please, don’t set me up with anyone.” Charlie closed her eyes.

“Then tell me about the girl you talked about last night. The one on your softball team.”

“Really?” Charlie blinked her eyes open against the strong sun and regarded Ava.

“Of course. If we’re going to be friends, it’s only natural to talk about things like that.”

The more Ava mentioned the two of them becoming friends, the less Charlie wanted to be a part of that friendship. Ava was lying half-naked beside her on a dreamy beach, and she’d told her in no uncertain terms nothing could happen in order to protect her fragile little heart. Anyone in their right mind would have a good laugh at that. But Charlie hadn’t been in her right mind for a while now. Although, she had to admit, having just swum in the Pacific Ocean with Ava made the thought of Jo arriving in LA next week a little bit more bearable.

“Her name is Josie. She’s a writer for a lesbian website and a comic in her spare time. I don’t really know much else about her yet.”

“Which website?” Ava asked, as if she would know.

“Indigo.”

“I read that sometimes.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Charlie.” Ava suddenly sounded like a kindergarten teacher. “Is it really so hard to get it in your head that not everything is black and white? You read ‘straight’ media, don’t you? Why wouldn’t I check that website if I feel like it?”

Charlie couldn’t contain herself any longer. She had to ask. “On a scale of zero to one hundred, where zero is completely straight and one hundred completely lesbian, where would you put yourself?”

“You’ve been dying to ask me that ever since last night, haven’t you?”

Charlie shrugged. “Maybe.”

Ava smiled. She was such a good sport, really. “You first.”

“Oh, that’s easy. At one hundred and fifty, for sure.”

Ava shook her head. “No need to overcompensate like that.”

Charlie ignored her comment. “Your turn.”

“So you’re what they call a gold star, I take it?” Ava asked, ignoring Charlie in return.

“Yep. I pretty much knew by the time I was twelve that girls had a much bigger effect on me than boys ever could. I skipped the whole experimenting phase and had my first girlfriend when I was sixteen.”

“So why the need to tack fifty extra percentage points onto your ‘score’?”

“Are you mocking me?”

“Only a little.” Ava’s abs rippled as she laughed easily.

“I’m still waiting for your answer.” Charlie was getting impatient.

“I know, but it’s an impossible question to answer in a satisfactory manner. I can hardly sit here and claim to be a hundred percent, I wouldn’t even consider myself to be around the fifty mark. More in the thirties, I guess. But I don’t want you to freak out about that.”

“Why would I freak out?”

“Because, perhaps, if I were in the upper fifties you’d consider giving me a chance… because you like me.” Ava looked straight ahead, her eyes aimed at the sky, then turned on her side to lock her gaze on Charlie. “For you, I think I could be seventy-five percent though, Charlie.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake. Mock me all you want… This is serious for me.” Then it dawned on her. The inkling she’d had the night before returned in full force. “Has Nick told you about my percentage obsession?”

Ava chuckled. “He only mentioned it briefly. He told me to ignore it if you—and these are his words, not mine—started making a fool of yourself like that.”

“I can’t believe this.” Charlie averted her gaze. “If I’m such a joke to him, then why is he even my friend. Because he pities me, perhaps?”

“He’s your friend because he adores you, Charlie. Quirks and all. And rightly so.”

Although Charlie couldn’t see Ava’s face, she could hear a smile coming through in her voice. This morning was turning into one long flirtation going nowhere.

“I think I’m going for another swim.” She pushed herself up in her chair.

“Please do. Your ass looks really good in that bikini.”

Charlie looked behind her at a grinning Ava. It wasn’t difficult to figure out the game she was playing. And it might very well be a game to her, but for Charlie, this was serious business.

CHAPTER NINE

Charlie missed the ball again. It swished right past her bat, straight into the catcher’s mitt. To say her first league game wasn’t going very well was a severe understatement.

“You’re out,” the umpire called, and Charlie hurried to the dugout, deflated and disappointed.

“I’m sorry for screwing up like that.” She sat down next to Liz, who slapped her on the shoulder.